Disclaimer: I am just a mere visitor in the sublime world constructed by the brilliant mind that is J.K Rowling. Anything that rings a bell is hers

Chapter 59

Ky's POV

I rested my head against his chest, just as the quivering that seemed to reverberate through my whole being finally calmed down but my trembling never stopped, just as his panting had grown to fever pitch as his cheek lay on my shoulder, both of us thoroughly incapacitated.

The little impassioned puffs of air tickled my neck as my forehead heated up as it nuzzled the canvas of his heart which resounded hastily from within.

I slowly raised my forehead, and took a deep breath of fresh air that cascaded through the opened window and glanced at the star strewn velvet sky which preened down at us in a blanket of inky black.

I tumbled off him and my thighs buzzed as blood rushed through it, I let my back hit the spongy white futon, an impressive bit of transfiguration I was told was courtesy of Mi, and I blinked to get the memory of her heartbroken face out of my mind, recalling the state of ecstasy I was in not five minutes ago and then shifting uncomfortably as the guilt churned within me. I really should be with her now...

I giggled as Harry sighed dramatically, flopping down next to me and laying his head on my left breast, adjusting his head as if to find the perfect spot, "I'm never sleeping on a pillow again. And what a view."

As if to reiterate his words he ran his left hand up the side of my waist and I nestled my fingers in his hair, smiling up at the wood panelled ceiling. I felt his fingers toy with a spot just below my right breast, tracing unknown patterns and I giggled.

"Tickles?" He murmured and I shook my head, knowing full well that he couldn't see me.

"Just thinking about our first time."

His head shot up and he glared at me, "What's funny about our first time? It was legendary and it was only two hours ago so I KNOW you couldn't have forgotten." His glare fell instantly as he circled my waist and grinned, "Or maybe you need some reminding."

I laughed and I watched as his eyes roved southward at my action and I rolled my eyes, "I'm not saying it wasn't legendary. And I'm not asking for a replay either, I think I'm all tapped out. I just giggled... because I'm happy."

His grin grew and I bit down a blush, they said they would be pain, but there wasn't a bit of it. I always knew Harry was selfless but today he really put that characteristic into action, it was a good thirty minutes of... a lot of fun and back arching stuff before we did the actual deed, and Godric... it was some deed.

He lowered his head and kissed my forehead and I giggled again, Godric the giggles! I could barely drop the smile off my face and he chuckled into my neck, "I can't choose what I love more, you moaning my name or that giggle."

I rolled my eyes as he straightened off me, resting his elbows on either side of my waist and hovered over me, "No... it's definitely that last trick you pulled just now, you really are a natural at EVERYTHING."

I laughed, trailing a finger up his right bicep, "Well I think people would stop calling you a wonder in the sky when they find out just how artful you are right here on the ground." I wrapped my thighs around him and cupped his right cheek, "You're amazing Mr Potter."

He tilted his head into my hand and his lips trembled slightly as his gaze softened and I swallowed thickly, "I love you."

"I love you too."

My voice shook as I said it and throat burned, and he straightened off me in shock, "Ky."

I covered my face quickly, feeling the leak trickle forward and I wanted to slap myself, why the fuck was I crying.

"Love." I sat up just as warmth encased me as I felt his chest at the back of my head, his arms bundling me close and I pulled my knees into me, the tears sprang forth relentlessly and my body shook as Harry muttered into my ears and my head resounded in pain.

I clutched my hair, which Harry had been caressing and leaned back against him, "What is it? Love?"

His shirt ghosted over my skin as he attempted to stop my shivering but it had nothing to do with the cold... cold like Teddy's body... I closed my eyes as a searing pain shot through my head.

Empty black eyes stared back at me, just visible behind the matted blond locks that framed them, empty and cold... lifeless and my body shook as I took in the gaping hole in his chest, his hand reaching out to the girl next to him, her arm in an inhuman angle and I was grateful I couldn't see her face... I couldn't bare it...

"KY!"

The blood dribbled down her bare back and I cried harder when I saw that she was naked, every wound visible and my heart screamed at the gashes, the blood... so much of blood...

"Drink!" My eyes were forced open as a warm liquid trickled down my throat and I coughed as I choked on the familiar taste, Harry patted my back and I dry heaved to clear my air way. "Are you OK?"

I nodded as he pushed my hair out of my face, probing my every feature with his eyes as the pain slowly receded and my shivering ceased. I let my head fall onto his shoulder and I crawled closer to him, "Ky you know you're supposed to take your tonic daily!"

I sniffed, clearing my throat as my eyes fell on Daphne's grey trench coat lying on the floor which Harry must have searched for my little vial of tonic, "I forgot-"

"You can't forget!" He half snapped, the other half of him still in shock, "You need to look after yourself. Godric, Ky if you don't take that tonic-"

"I know!" I grumbled, massaging my forehead, trying to push the image of Selina and Silvain out of my mind... I took a deep breath and snuggled closer into Harry. I usually was extremely diligent about taking my tonic, but what with the evening we had...

I felt Harry's lips at my head, "What did you see?"

I crawled further into him, unaware of when he slipped back into his track pants which was a warm seat for my butt, "Selina. And Silvain."

" I'm so sorr-"

"Please don't." He stopped and I turned to face him, my hands on either side of his face as I forced him to look at me, "Please don't do anything."

"What?" He whispered gently in confusion as my lips trembled at the memory of Teddy's convulsions.

"It's getting closer. All this time." I set my knees on the floor and straightened up, my hands never leaving his face, "Every time... Baron... Selina... Silvain... now Teddy-"

"Nott will be OK Ky." He held my hand against his cheek, "Everything will be OK."

"No." I shook my head and glanced out the window, I could make out the mountains in the distance as the Tower slowly revolved, "It keeps getting closer. This War." My eyes snapped to him and I leaned forward, "I can't lose you."

"You're not going to. Stop talking like this." He grumbled in frustration, "Nothing's going to happen to you. Or me."

"You can't know that."

"I can." He pulled my hand to his lips and pulled me closer to him, "I will never let anything happen to you."

"And you?" I murmured, already slightly embarrassed at my outburst, I did get very emotional when I missed the tonic. Coupled with Teddy being on the brink of death and Daphne's heartache, my emotional quotient was ranging towards quite unstable.

"Well," He kissed my nose, "You won't let anything happen to me. We're not Nott and Hermione Ky. We're not forbidden. We're the lucky ones. We're meant to be, the only thing ever stopping us is ourselves. I for one, don't want to stand in our way anymore. I just want to be with you."

I bit my lip and glanced down, nestled comfortably in his lap, "I'm sorry. For going all..."

He smiled, "They say the crazy one's are always great in bed, and they were right."

I smacked his arm and he laughed as he grabbed my same hand, pulling me into a kiss that batted away all the extreme thoughts I was having. It had been a long evening, and with the tragic romances that seemed to descend on us today, I couldn't help feeling paranoid. But Harry was right; we were the lucky ones. The only thing ever standing in our way was ourselves.

I cleared my throat and wiped my face as he pulled away and stood up, he walked towards the little table that was laid out for dinner, the roast lamb untouched as he picked up the tray of cupcakes. I smiled as he returned, two steaming mugs floating behind him amidst the multicoloured candles.

Harry had outdone himself with the scented candles that floated about. They were bewitched to smell like my favourite scents, I could smell melting chocolate and cocoa and the distinct smell of Draught of Peace, which was my favourite scented potion to brew.

I smiled as Harry sat opposite me, he's shirtless back leaning against the wall just below the window overlooking the Black Lake. He returned my smile, gesturing his head to the spot beside him.

I groaned lazily and stood, yawning and stretching as his eyes twinkled as they fell on the ascending hemline of his shirt which now adorned my body. They darkened suddenly and fell to the floor and I frowned, glancing down at what seemed to upset him.

My shoulders fell when I saw it, specks of blood that must have eluded the skurge spell... Draco's blood...

I sat back down and Harry glanced up and I took a deep breath, knowing I had put this conversation off for much too long.

"It happened in November and it lasted for a few weeks, just a little over a month and..." I didn't know why I felt so guilty about Draco. Harry had hurt me... cheated on me and I was willing to forgive him and then he dates Ginny and I was willing to forget about that? There really is no reason for guilt...yet my eyes were glued to the wood floor.

"How far did it go?"

I lifted my chin and my heart sank as his eyes were planted on the floor, I could feel the disappointment radiate of him and a flare of anger surged through me. I didn't do anything wrong! "Well you know how far it didn't go!" I snapped, referring to him claiming my virginity just hours ago.

My tone of voice garnered eye contact from him and he bit out, "I meant emotionally."

A flare of defiance shot up my spine and I lifted my chin, why should I be interrogated? "I won't say it meant nothing. It meant a lot." His nostrils flared as he glanced out the window and the pain in his eyes calmed me down slightly, "It made me feel a little more like myself." I glanced down at my bare thigh, "A little less pathetic."

"You're not pathetic!" He gasped and I groaned.

"It's how I felt Harry! How would you feel! If... If..." I didn't want to talk about this, I didn't want to think about this. I pulled my knees into me and concentrated on the black sky, I will not cry. Not again.

I heard him sigh, "Do you still have feelings for him?"

It seems he didn't want to think about it as well. Of course not. I bit my bottom lip as the tops of the distant trees of the Forest could just be made out from my angle and for the hundredth time I pondered why I forgave Harry so easily. Was I weak? Was he being strong for asking these questions? For wanting to know? Why couldn't I bear to hear about the things he did with that girl. Godric I couldn't even stomach asking him about Ginny... how far did they go? We know for sure it was my first time but whose to say it was Harry's... why was it so painfree? Why was he so experienced at this? Was it practice? Our first and second time was all him, I only took the wheel on our third and last go, and it took a bit of adjusting and floundering around in the beginning but I eased into it... but he just knew what to do?

How?

"Do you love him!"

I glanced up at the shout as Harry's eyes shook at me, his fists clenched as his body shook in anger and I frowned, "What?"

"Are you in love with Malfoy?"

"No!" I snapped, "No, I do not love Draco Harry! I don't have that switch that can just transfer ffection with just a quick flick!" I added snarkily, "I don't hate him though. My feelings for Draco-"

He stood at that and turned away, his hands gripping the window sill. I scampered to my feet in anger. Why! Why should I feel like some kind of shameful person. "What do you want me to say! That I feel nothing for him? I can't... it'll be a lie... I don't lie to you!" I snapped at his bare back as his hair disappeared as he lowered his head.

"You want to be with him?"

"Yes Harry! Yes. I want Draco, that's why I just had sex with you! That's why I told YOU that I love you! That's why I've been MISERABLE for the better part of the year, because I have been pining after Draco! That's why I've become practically a hermit so I could avoid seeing DRACO with his new girlfriend! So I could hold onto some semblance of SELF respect by not staring at DRACO every time he was in the same vicinity as me! Why I cried more times than I thought it possible, MORE times than I ever want to even admit to myself because it hurt! Hurt SO MUCH-" I wiped at my face, the sarcasm diminished by the tears, anger mounting and now directed at myself, "For not being enough. For not being what you wanted because I ALWAYS WANTED to be with YOU!"

He snapped around as I clutched my stomach and I gasped at the tears in his eyes, "I ALWAYS WANTED YOU TOO!" He shouted, storming forward, "You think it was easy! Not being with you! Not seeing you and touching you and listening to you when all I could manage was thinking about you!"

"WHOSE FAULT WAS THAT!" I shouted back, throwing my hands out at my sides, "YOU CHEATED-"

"I NEVER CHEATED ON YOU!" His chest rose and fell and my hands fell limply to my sides as he stepped back, his face draining of anger as my own drained of blood from shock.

"What?" I didn't realise that I had backed away until I felt the wall to my back. Why was he lying?

His right hand rose and scratched the back of his neck as his eyes fell, the tears disappeared as if I had imagined them there but there was an emotional texture of despair in his eyes that welded my mouth shut, "I never cheated on you Ky."

I would have thought it a sick joke if I could process that far... his eyes ascended and in the emerald swirls I could only see one thing... honesty...

"You didn't..." I mumbled as he nodded his head in the positive, flicking his wand as my brows furrowed. There was proof... why would he... no..

"Open it."

I glanced up to find my sight completely obscured by a large brown envelope. I grabbed it, glancing at him but his back was to me again, his face to the dark night and his shoulders tense.

I flicked the envelope open with trembling fears. I don't know why I was so scared. What could possibly make Harry lie about cheating on me? What could be worse than that?

I pushed my hand in and my fingers ghosted across varying materials that were distinctive to the touch, coarse parchment, glossy texture of photos and something thin and fragile. I fished out the parchment first, I wasn't mentally prepared for a visual attack.

I grasped at the flimsy paper and took it out, realising they were two of them only when it breached the surface and the second floated to the floor. I could tell that it was relatively new and definitely muggle, it was printed out paper...

I looked at Harry but all I could see was the light skin as his face was to the dark night and I looked back at the papers.

Hawthorne Hotel.

I frowned at the unfamiliar title. They were hotel receipts and they seemed to be ident... My eyes froze on the name that shone up at me...

P THORNTON...

My fingers traced the innocent letters as I glanced up at Harry in confusion... what did this have to do with my mother?

"Harry?" My voice was weak but I didn't care. I've never seen a picture of her, I never heard a story about her... she was a complete stranger to me...

Yet here was her name... formal but her name just like all L POTTER'S were Lily and J POTTER'S James... it had to be her...

Harry turned away from the safety of the landscape, his glasses in hand as the other wiped at the bridge of his nose. He then held out his hand and I hovered... unsure...

"Come here." His voice was a broken hypnotic timbre that dragged me across the floor. When I was close enough he lowered to the ground and pulled me into his lap. I was robotic in my utter confusion and I never resisted.

P THORNTON?

He took a deep breath and rested his chin on my right shoulder, his hands taking the pages out of my hand.

"These are receipts for a Hotel in Massachusetts. One made out to a J POTTER, the other to P THORNTON." My eyes flickered to the almost identical receipt and I could see the letters glare up at me. "The rooms are adjoining and the dates coincide. I checked, and the only P THORNTON in Massachusetts at this date was your mother."

His voice was like a buzzing in my empty mind as I kept staring at the P THORNTON...

He tilted the envelope upside down and an array of paper fluttered down. I caught sight of the photo and the unfamiliarity beckoned me to reach forward and grab it.

Ten months ago a photo ruined everything I thought I had. But now, looking at the very same photo booth in the background, the very same people with the very same clothes...

"Your father?" I stared down at the hazel eyed man in the square framed glasses, it was astonishing how alike they were but they were distinct differences. Harry's jaw was less square and his grin was more crooked, much less charming yet so much more endearing. Their eyes were very similar in glow though so different in colour.

"I thought that woman was your mother." My eyes snapped to the dark haired girl beside James Potter and my frown deepened. No. She couldn't be. I looked at the dark straight hair, the pale face, the grey...I glanced up as Harry's hands enclosed mine. "It's not. I'm sorry. I'm explaining this all wrong. That picture, those receipts and the letter were sent to me at the end of last year by Blishwick. He made it seem like there was something going on between your mother and my father and that there was a chance that we could be related. It was ludicrous but the letter-"

I reached for the parchment which was lying innocently on the floor, unravelled so many times it lay flat on its back.

Dear Harry.

I know what I am about to tell you will come as a surprise but Ky is not who you think she is. She is not Dumbledore's granddaughter. She is

I didn't recognize the handwriting but I was never any good at those things, I read over the unfinished sentence twice but it still didn't sink in. I jumped when Harry was suddenly in front of me.

"Ky?"

"What?"

He kneeled in front of me, neck lowering slightly so he could meet my eyes, "Blishwick made it seem like we were related. This letter is from Sirius but he obviously didn't finish it because... I don't really know... I don't know what he thought but it was dated on the day that Voldemort returned... that Cedric died... the day Sirius first saw you... I don't know who he thought you were but Hermione ran some tests but-"

"Sirius thought that the woman in the picture is my mother and she and your dad have a history which made him think that I might be your father's daughter because your father and a P THORNTON were in the same hotel on the same day..." I glanced at the receipt and saw the date as I mechanically rattled off the bizarre details that confronted me, "Nine months before I was born. That's why you... you said-"

"I cheated on you." Harry nodded on, "I was just trying to protect you until I found out the truth. I just-"

"Lied to me." I cocked my head to the side as I glared up at him, "You thought that I wasn't related to Nonno and you never uttered a word."

"You are though. Hermione-"

"You thought my mother and your father had an affair, you thought that WE WERE RELATED!" I half gasped and half shouted.

"We're not. Hermione did some test-"

"YOU had all of this information and YOU NEVER SAID a THING!" I cried out in anger, my senses slowly reawakening as I glanced at the paper that littered the floor. For Godric knows how long Harry thought he knew something about my mother...

I rose to my feet and he grabbed my elbows, "Ky, wait-"

"No-"

"WAIT!" He shouted and pushed me against the wall, his face pale but his hands unrelenting, "I was wrong. I made a mistake-"

"Because Mi found out-"

"NO! No, my mistake was not telling you! Godric Ky you can't know how much I wanted to but I didn't want to hurt you without knowing for sure... Ky. Please, please don't be..." He let go of my elbows and grabbed at my face, holding me there and forcing me to look at him.

"I'm so sorry."

I pushed at his chest but he leaned forward, trapping me with his body. I was furious. This was worse than cheating. Cheating implied a lapse of judgement, caught in the moment, a once of thing... this was planned... this was him thinking me weak and incapable of handling the truth. This was Harry selfishly making a decision about MY life, about information that I DESERVED to know.

"You're not sorry!" I spat, "If you were sorry you wouldn't have told the whole fucking world before you told me! Mi! Ron? GINNY!" I shouted.

"Ginny doesn't know!" He hovered over me, holding me in place with his body, "I only told Ron because it was driving me mad and Hermione found out recently and I begged her to keep it quiet, that's when she did a test-"

I screamed, pushing him once again, "How could you lie about all of this! This whole time you thought we were... that my mother-"

"I didn't think it! Even if the words were in my head I didn't believe it, if I truly did I would never have pursued you Ky. I was a fucking idiot for believing Blishwick-"

"AND I'M A FUCKING IDIOT FOR BELIEVING YOU!" I shouted, finally pushing him off me but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me into him, forcing his lips onto mine.

"GET O-" I pushed at his shoulders but he just pulled me closer, his tongue pushing past my lips and I struggled against him, fighting the sensations that came when his lips touched mine.

My hands fell in surrender and I let him pull me to him, the kiss did more to calm me than any draught of peace could accomplish and it was with uncertainty that Harry pulled back.

For moments the only sound that could be heard was our breathing, in contrast to the questions that screamed from his eyes...

Harry didn't cheat on me. But he did betray my trust...

"I was wrong to not tell you, but in all honesty I wanted to protect you from the doubt that was eating me up. All I ever want is to keep you safe, and happy Ky. I know I've lied to you, I'm ashamed at the amount of times, but there is one truth that I could never falter on. I love you. You can hate me-"

"I don't hate you." I snapped, stepping out of his embrace. "I just expected..." What did I expect? What did I truly expect? For Harry to tell me the truth? Yes... and no... Harry was self sacrificial to a fault. What would have happened if he was honest? I'd probably go to Linus and Len and demand an explanation if they were aware of it. Nonno would get involved and it would have all been for nought considering we were in fact not related.

Why though? Why make us think that? Why would Sirius write that? The photos and receipts were genuine and Harry knows Sirius' handwriting... yet it was from Blishwick... that bastard... why give Harry this? Why make him believe we were related? To keep us away from each other? Why? Why when he had Daphne... Daphne...

Daphne and Blaise. Mi and Teddy...

Were we the lucky ones?

I glanced at Harry whose face was the epitome of regret. He lied... but he genuinely thought he was protecting me... it would have been painful to have Nonno ripped away from me... sickeningly so... to have my mother's reputation questioned for it would have to have been. And to have Harry's father's reputation re-examined... Harry's father who he hero-worshipped. Who died to save his wife and child.

For months Harry believed him a traitor to the very same mother that died for him. For months Harry's image of James Potter shattered into a million immoral pieces. And for months he didn't say a thing...

To keep me happy?

Yet I was never happy. It was a scary thought, but here, standing, staring at his bright green eyes, shirtless chest and jet black hair... I don't think I could ever be happy without Harry.

Because he was right. It was as simple and honest as one singular thing.

I loved him.

But just because we loved each other, just because we were not forbidden, because life kept pushing us together... were we destined to sabotage ourselves again and again?

Were we the lucky ones? Or were we so dreadfully unlucky to have all the cards in our favour and still lose?

I watched as his eyes glared at the floor, his frown deepening with every silent second that ticked by and I could see the torture on his face.

"Harry?"

His eyes flickered to me instantly, hope prevalent in every cell.

"I'm sorry for not telling you about Draco. I should have told you once we got back together."

He nodded eagerly, "As I am sorry for lying. I never wanted to hurt you. But I had every intention of telling you eventually."

"Intentions are one thing and actions are quite something else." I crossed my arms over my stomach and looked down to the floor, "I half want to run out the door."

"What about your other half?" he muttered.

"The other half wants to hex you." I glared up at him and he tilted his head to the side with a smile on his face, he held his hands out in surrender.

"I'll take it. Just so you would stay."

I glanced at the floor, at the sheets of paper that left me alone for months, and then up at his inviting suggestion.

I chose quickly, jumping before I could second guess myself and catching him around the waist. He wrapped his arms around me just as quickly and I knew I chose right as warmth enveloped me that had nothing to do with the slowly rising sun...

Were we the lucky ones?

It may have been luck that brought me to this very castle three years ago.

It may have been luck that had Arthur Weasley attend a meeting here on the very same day.

It may have been luck that of all the inhabitants of this castle, it was him I bumped into...

It was not, however, luck that caused me to fall in love with Harry. It was an indescribable sensation that trickled over my skin when our eyes met...

It was the way my body warmed up at his touch...

It was the way I giggled and laughed and chuckled and smiled as I stared up at him...

No, we weren't the lucky ones.

We were the ones teetering on the edge of a war.

We were the ones that were targeted, pursued and hunted down.

We were fighters.

And we'll fight for our happy ending.

And we'll win.

A/N: This was a pretty big chapter. I think Ky shows a LOT of maturity in this one. A few months ago she probably would have ran out on Harry but the fact that she is thinking further ahead, forgiving him and thinking about the bigger picture shows how she has grown up.

Please review! Your feedback means so much to me, and as generic as that sounds you can never know how genuine it is because just hearing from you guys makes me smile!

Kalina