And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
~Taken from Christina Perri's "Jar of Hearts"
I could come up with so many scenarios in my head concerning Atticus Nott and my ill-fitting demise. An eternity passed as he stood in the doorway looming over me, his slitted little eyes studying me the entire time.
He could mane me, kill me quickly, torture me to death, or just continue to stare down at me with those terrible eyes. This is a man that I know very little about. I've only ever heard tales of him, and the not so favorable accounts Draco has told me. I can picture whatever he might do to me in my head, thinking back to the little doll that was thrown into my room, but it doesn't settle the growing nerves in my stomach. I just sit there, wondering what the hell he's thinking about.
"Theo told me you were beautiful," he says critically, catching me off guard with his statement. "I beg to differ. I see nothing beautiful about a Mudblood bitch."
"You don't have to play games with me," I mutter sourly, glaring him down. "I know you're going to try to kill me. Small talk won't make a damn difference about it."
His eyes glitter for the briefest of moments, and I honestly don't know why. "The hour hasn't come to kill you yet. Everything has to be done in perfect synchronicity with the story, else something might go array. I will not falter with the only chance at purity that I have."
I almost snort at that, but refrain. "Nothing you can do will ever make you pure. You might wish it, even hope for it, but it cannot be done. Anything you do to me can't change that."
His look sours into a dark one, and while I should probably be afraid I'm not. If he's planning to follow the crazy guidelines from the book Draco once showed me to kill me, then I have a bit of time before anything truly bad will happen. So long as he doesn't touch my middle I'll be okay.
I've triggered a little nerve in his head, talking up to him like that. Of course he's going to overreact, thinking that he's somehow superior to me. But I do not know this man, and it is hard to predict the actions of someone you don't know.
He's in front of me in a moment, hands reaching out to pin me down. I didn't survive a bloody war to be manipulated like a rag doll though, and some well-aimed jabs have him backing off.
He twiddles his wand from a distance, studying me closely. "I could harm you; find some sort of warped pleasure out of making you scream. But there will be time enough for that Mudblood when the time comes to kill you."
"Do you really think I'm going to be here that long? If no one comes for me, then I'll get myself out. I won't just sit here and wait to die!"
"But you will." He smirks, turning away from me. The door to my room shuts again, and I do not fight the darkness. I'm more interested in finding a way out before my time is up.
When it begins I'm not surprised how he handles the situation. It's a lot of man-handling and painful jabs from his wand, but few spells are ever cast as he drags me from the lightless little room. Even the dim projection of the stars outside is a painful reawakening for my eyes. I doubt I was locked in the airtight room long, but it was still long enough to cause me to cringe when I'm able to see again. Stupid room.
"Let me go!"
I'm not saying that my fidgeting and squirming was at all productive as he dragged me into a new room, but I would not stand idly by as he dragged me to my doom. He hasn't tried a spell yet that's all too affective, but I know his impatience will wear thin as his plan draws closer. I know that a series of painful spells are in my future.
Why can't wandless magic be my strength? I'm somewhat good at it, but I don't think I'm good enough to best someone carrying a wand around. Why oh why didn't I hold onto it tighter before he took me away?
"You are a fidgety one," he mutters, hauling me towards a table off in the corner of the room. I kick out at him, managing to trip him. His grip on me loosens momentarily, and I attempt to make my escape.
It doesn't work out so well. He trips me and I hit the ground hard, landing on my stomach. Instantly my mind clears, all thoughts going to my worries over the child growing inside of me. I can't take blows to the stomach like that.
I kick out a second time, using my hands to push myself up and try to make a run for it a second time. A painful slap attacks the back of my knees just as I feel a stab to the side of my head.
"Don't try that again Missy," he hisses, his hands pushing me back into the ground. I comply, using my own to barely keep my stomach off the ground. I'm being paranoid, but in a situation like this, who's going to blame me. "You only have to be barely alive for me to enact the curse."
Curse. That's a good word for what this is. It's a fucking curse.
When I don't respond he whispers something, and I feel myself becoming lethargic. My entire demure changes, sinking from alert and ready to run to lazy and barely holding myself up.
A sleeping spell. Just what I need. I try to fight the spell back, but he's whispering something else. Probably a paralyzing spell to keep me from fighting, but I don't know really. Everything is turning to a haze.
I'm losing to a bloody convict, someone I put away once upon a time with my friends after the war. And now he's going to kill me.
How pathetic.
When I wake I mentally punch myself. Not only am I tied down to a table, but it's dark outside.
Finally, a damn window. As if it's going to help me right now. Without my wand binds are a little harder to escape, and without my hands I'm screwed. My legs are tied down too, but I can freely look around the room, which is empty save for the table and some sort of nearby-covered cart.
He probably has some hidden knives under there to slice me up. How morbid.
I struggle for a moment before groaning and giving up. It's not like it's going to help me to use all my energy up right now. I have to look for the moment of opportunity to escape, and then I can use all my energy up.
I don't think anyone is coming for me. If Atticus has hidden for so long there's a possibility that it's more than just his wand that he jinxed to be untraceable. Considering how strong Draco's traits are for me, if something wasn't hiding the connection I have no doubt in my mind that he would already be here.
But Draco isn't here right now, and if I'm hidden he might not get here in time. If anyone is going to get me out of this situation, it's going to be me.
Problem is I was never really an escape artist. I came up with the plans, but hand-eye coordination was never my strong point. The only time it ever really worked for me was when I punched Draco during third year.
I hear a door opening across the room, and I don't bother glancing his way. Who else would it be?
"You're so much better when you're tied down."
I roll my eyes, wondering if I can practice my wandless magic. Maybe I can knock Atticus out. Even if I can't escape I at least won't have to handle his terrible comments.
He steps up beside me, smirking down at me on the table. "No comeback?"
"Well no matter what I say your response will be lame, so why wait my breath?" I ask, rolling my eyes. I'm looking around the room now, looking for a loose object of some sort that I might be able to levitate over to knock him out. If all else fails, I can attempts to wandlessly undo the binds tying me down.
Atticus shrugs, circling the table. It makes me a bit uneasy, but I'm sure whatever hideous plan he has coming my way will be far worse.
"You know it's never going to work," I remark, stalling him. "All this siren nonsense about being able to cleanse your evil with the good inside me? There's never going to be enough good in the world to cleanse someone like you. And killing me is only going to put your name higher up on the Most Wanted list."
A vein begins to bulge above his brow. Well, at least I'm getting to him. "I will do everything I can to change myself Miss Mudblood. The less people who believe I'm a monster the better."
"And you think cutting a person open and torturing me to death is going to make you into some kind of saint? People will trust you even less after you go through with this insanity! You should just quit while you're ahead."
The slap he relievers to the side of my face is harder than I expected and my vision spins in response. I am not at all prepared for the screeching sound of furniture sliding quickly across the tiled floor, and then the sudden slam to the right side of my table.
"You've caused me problems enough Mudblood," he mutters and I hear the sound of something being thrown back, like a cloth revealing something. Forcing my vision to straighten out I realize the nearby cart has moved much closer, blocking one side of the table. The cover is gone, and upon it lays two very muggle weapons- a large knife and a dagger. "It's time to repay my son for all he's done."
Maybe I should try to get some answers out of him, but right now I'm wearier of the dark hour outside and the knife he's picking up. If I'm going to move, it absolutely has to be now.
He'll cut down my torso, straight over the baby. If he believes those tales of old so much, he's going to do exactly what it says!
A burst of energy attacks me, and I focus all my energy on the dagger. I might not want to kill Atticus at this exact moment, but I may not regret it later. Getting him down for a moment seems good enough.
I don't say anything, making this entire process twice as hard. But the dagger responds to my surge of magic suddenly taking over my body and it about-faces.
Atticus. Find Atticus.
The dagger shoots over me, attacking the man on my other side. He stumbles back with a cry, the dagger having implanted itself into his middle. I don't waste a speck of time.
"Accio wand!"
It flies out of his leftmost pocket, completely ignored while he tried to cut me open. It lands in my right hand, and immediately I feel the power surging back. The binds on my wrists and ankles slide off like butter and I jump from the table.
Atticus is not nearly that easily deterred. He's gripping my ankle now, pulling the knife out with his other hand. He's a determined fellow to keep me right where I am.
A poorly aimed stab misses my ankle and I kick him in the face, putting as much distance between him and I as possible. Turning from the table I race out the only door in the room, making my escape. I want a bit of distance from him before I try to apparate.
As soon as I'm free of him the danger's gone. I don't know where the hell I am, but I can help people find this place and but Atticus away forever.
My preplanning is short lived as a pain in my stomach causes my speed to slow. I pause, leaning against the nearby wall due to shortness of breath. Placing my wand hand over my stomach I gasp, sinking down to my knees.
Blood, a thin line of sticky blood. The dagger that I used to attack Atticus must have scraped me too. Good Merlin, what have I done?
The sound of footsteps catches my attention, and I whip around to see Atticus in pursuit again. He's by far more injured at this point than I am, and at a disadvantage since he allowed me to steal his wand. But I'm not in the mood for games.
"Sectumsempra!" I say, aiming my spell just right. He hits the ground hard, and I consider adding a binding spell. But from the amount of blood he's going to lose, I'd say I'm okay for as long as it's going to take to get out of here.
I should apparate to St. Mungo's, have my child inspected immediately. Draco could be notified that I was there…
I'm a bit weary to apparate while injured, but mostly because I fear for my baby. If there's an injury apparating will only intensify the damage tenfold. I could floo, but those things can cause the same amount of damage if injured. It might not be an injury that greatly affects me, but I won't dare risk my baby.
If I can get ahold of someone maybe they can come and get me, or I can at least put some distance between myself and Atticus before apparating. I just can't wait too long if my baby is injured… but getting out of here fast is could also cause a bigger injury…
I place both hands over my stomach, rushing on to look for an exit. My mind might be floating in a haze of mixed ideas right now, but I know inside I won't do something to harm my baby further. If I knew more about being a mother and the dangers of apparition and flooing during this process, maybe I would take the chance. But being a mother is about the only thing in the world that I've never researched.
"You'll be okay," I say, rubbing my stomach as I follow the halls trying to escape. "I will never let anything else happen to you again."
Maybe I sound a little crazy wandering around talking to my flat stomach, but it's during that state of craziness that I find the exit- the front door in fact.
I wonder how far out the wards spread around this place? I wouldn't have been able to apparate until I get outside of them… if I apparate at all.
I pause outside where the light of the moon on the other side of the house guides me and my emotions begin to put themselves back in order. Using his wand I carefully mend the thin cut over my stomach like I have done a thousand times to other parts of my body, stopping the bleeding. I'm just weary of my baby.
There's a tree off in the distance and I decide to run to that spot, where the wards might not be. I should apparate by now and leave my concerns behind, but I can't make myself. There's an underlying voice in my head telling me it's a very bad idea.
By the time I'm to the tree I'm out of breath, one hand moving to rest against the tree. It wasn't that far from the front of the house, yet I feel like I've run a marathon. That's probably not a good thing.
Just apparate, and then I'll be safe with the Healer's and they can tell me what's wrong with my child… if anything is wrong… please don't let there be anything wrong.
I take a chance and apparate, deciding I can't wait any longer. There's a chance that Draco might have found me if I've gotten outside the wards, but for now that will take too long. I need to find out if something terrible has happened to my baby right now.
St. Mungo's is always a madhouse, but when I stumbled in dirty and terrified the Healer's went nuts. Apparently my disappearance made the news, and one man alerts me as he drags me into a room that Draco's spent every minute since I disappeared looking for me.
They shut the doors and don't allow a soul in, looking me over again and again, examining my head before turning directly to my middle. I'm giving a couple potions, a numbing salve and a few worried looks, but no one can tell me if my child is okay.
That's a lie. They step from the room to discuss it for themselves. I just got away from one moron who wouldn't tell me things to end up with six more?
"Come back in here this instant! You owe me an answer about my baby! What aren't you telling me!?"
I lean back angrily in the bed, refusing to cry. The cut isn't exactly deep, so I won't over-worry myself yet. I'll wait until they get up the courage to tell me the truth.
After many minutes the door opens back up and I bolt upright, ready to harass the Healer's into telling me the bloody truth, but that's not who's rushing through the door.
Strong arms envelope me, and I sink into that embrace. I didn't realize exactly how much I missed him until this moment when he's back, hugging the life out of me.
"Hermione," he mutters into my hair, stroking the tangled mess. I keep my grip tight to his torso, afraid to let go.
It's one thing to be strong for yourself when no one else is around, to keep it together because you have no one to lean on. But now that Draco's here I can feel myself unraveling, my composure slipping through the cracks.
I'm not hooked up to anything or restrained, and he doesn't waste a moment lifting me up onto his lap, cradling me as I cry. He doesn't even know why I'm crying yet.
"You're okay," he says, holding me tightly against his body as I cry. "You're okay now Hermione."
I nod, one hand tightly gripping him as the other rests against my abdomen. He notices, and I can feel him tightening up. I won't have him playing a guessing game.
"I got out," I say, forcing a smile over my face as I look up at him. "I was able to steal his wand and escape."
"Did he hurt you?" he asks seriously, looking me over. He doesn't miss the hand resting over my stomach, and after examining the rest of me his eyes slide up to meet mine expectantly.
"What the fuck did he do?"
He's very quiet when I tell him my story, the broken segments of time that I recall. Draco tells me I've been gone just two days, his hand stroking my back, the other resting with mine over my sore middle.
"It's my fault," I whisper quietly, face turned down. "I didn't really calculate the distance between the dagger and I before trying to attack him. It's worse than anything he could've done to me."
"You don't know anything yet," he says soothingly, surprising me with his composure. "It's a thin cut Hermione, very thin. There's a possibility it didn't do a bit of damage."
"The Healer's won't tell me anything," I reply, looking up at him. "They are keeping something from me!"
"They're just worried about you," he says, grasping my hand. "One told me he was a concerned as I barged in here. The experience was stressful love."
"It doesn't matter. I still have a right to know if my child is going to be okay or not."
"As do I," he comments, kissing my cheek. "They wouldn't tell me a damn thing about you, just that you were here. I decided that wasn't acceptable. When one of the Healer's returns we'll demand answers."
I nod, leaning into him. It feel perfect to be back here, knowing at least that Atticus is nowhere near and can't harm my baby. Hopefully I haven't caused too much damage.
"It was hard being away from you," he mutters, rubbing my stomach. "I've been on edge the past two days looking everywhere."
"A Healer mentioned that as I was being ushered in here."
He shakes his head. "You don't understand Hermione. Those mate traits have been eating me alive. I haven't slept, I didn't eat, I barely spent the time to drink-"
"You shouldn't starve yourself!" I say in alarm, glaring at him. "I have to take care of yourself Draco."
"I couldn't. My body wouldn't allow me to until I knew that you were okay. I just had to keep looking. I couldn't track you. Usually no matter how far you are I can at least sense that you are okay. But I couldn't sense anything. It was like you were already dead."
I kiss his cheek now, nuzzling away his worries. "I'm not though. He never even got to cut me open."
His lip twitches. "Good. As soon as you stepped out of the wards guarding wherever you were I knew you were alive again. I also knew you were injured."
"I'll get better," I say, even if I don't believe my own words. I just think it's what we both are dying to hear right now. Even if I'm back in his protective embrace he can't stop what's already happened.
A sudden burst of energy attacks my middle, and I jump off Draco as a blue light radiates over my stomach. Alarmed I exchange a glance with him, not entirely sure what's going on. The door to the room is opened then, revealing two Healers. One is checking her watch and the other is pushing out reporters.
The female Healer smiles widely when she sees the light radiating near my stomach, grinning. "Your baby is fine."
My eyes widen, looking down at the blue light. "You can tell all of that from a ray of light?"
"If the baby were injured it would glow red," she explained as her partner shut the door. "If the injury were fatal the light would be white. There's no injury to your child, aside from an increased amount of stress on his mother."
Draco pulls me back down beside him, looking at my stomach as he ghosts a hand over it. "What does blue mean then?"
"And you said his," I cut in before the nurse can continue. She smiles broadly at us, the male Healer joining in.
"Congratulations Miss Granger, Mr. Malfoy," she says. "You're having a boy."
A/n: And there's chapter 24. Hermione doesn't always need a big man to save her :)
One more chapter, unless I decide to include an epilogue. And I'm pretty sure there will be a sequel of some sort… if you can handle my not-so-frequent updates.
I'm going to start tying things up next chapter, and explain all the loose ends. You can ask questions in your reviews if you so desire. Then maybe I won't miss anything too extreme.
Thanks to everyone who pushed this to 600! I'm super excited about that and all the answers coming soon!
Until next time~
Haley