A/N: Ugh, so many feels associated with the next few chapters. Review! (Peeta's POV)

"I like it, too." I come back to the table to sit. "Can...I tell you something?" ~

I look up from my breakfast. "What is it?" ~

"Um... I mean, I know it's really impossible for me to ever go home in the foreseeable future.." This is just... Odd. "I just...have you ever thought of a time when there were no Hunger Games?" ~

"Sometimes. I mean, in school, they've mentioned it...but that was a really long time ago. Over seventy years, really...it's just so long ago that it's not really relevant to us anymore. So I just tend not to think of it. You get what I mean?" ~

"Not even a bit?" There's some silence, so I take one of the pastries and take a bite. I shouldn't have brought it up. It's...just the way things are. "Forget I said anything..it's okay." Shut up, Peeta. ~

"No!" I say quickly. "I mean...no. I don't want to forget." What is he going on about anyway? "It's a nice thought, if that's what you were trying to get at." ~

"I guess..." I sigh. "It'd be nicer if it was even plausible." ~

"I don't know. It could be plausible. It can't just stay like this forever, can it?" Honestly, I can't picture the Hunger Games lasting forever. "If they keep sending kids to the arena, won't the population die off? It's stable now, but...people are going to be afraid to have kids, and...if they want to keep the human race alive, they'll have to stop, won't they?" ~

"There's enough people in the Capitol...and more than two kids are born in each District every year." They'll never stop. "They don't care. To fix it, they'll probably just put in some law that everyone has to have more kids." I rest my head in my arms. "It's wishful thinking. I just...don't want to be afraid to be seen, or...or if we can ever live normal lives again, I don't know... When I was little, I wanted kids." I whisper. "Always did. But I always would feel guilty for forcing them into a world with the Games." ~

"I understand that. It's not really a big deal here, because, well...you know how it is around here. The Hunger Games are normal, and participation is encouraged, but...I get what you're saying. I would feel guilty, too." I bite into my apple muffin and finish the bite before speaking again. "You know, around here...I mean, I was kinda shocked, or confused, when you were talking to me about your wake and everything, about how they take the class. Here, they don't, because it's just seen as...if you win the Games, then you've brought your district pride, and if not...if you lost, you're just...a part of the ground, then. You don't matter. People around here usually wouldn't feel guilty about having kids, then." ~

"It's a routine. We only have one living Victor. So... At least 147 kids from District 12 have died from the Games. Another two because of the one Quarter Quell where there were 4 tributes." 149. "Then there's the other victor we had before he died...and me." ~

"That's a lot." I take another bite. "If it means anything, I consider you a victor too." Not that it brings back all those dead kids, but... ~

"Yeah, well...I'm just number 146 to the world." ~

"The world doesn't matter to me anymore." ~

"You know..." I glance up at him. "If they find out I'm alive... They'll kill me. For real, this time." ~

"That's why they're not going to find out." I stop eating and look back up at him. "You're not having second thoughts about staying here, are you?" Oh shit. If he found something in this house that gave away the secret about what my father really does for a living...he'll wanna leave. ~

"No, no...I just...you know they'll..they'll probably kill you, too..." I choke out. "Because you're helping me." ~

"I know." He's worried about me getting killed...how sweet. "At least we'll be together. I know you gave your life for mine in the Games, but...I wouldn't want to go on knowing that we weren't together when you..." ~

"When I...what?" ~

"If," I correct myself. "If you die..." It won't happen. I won't let it. "I wanna be with you if they take you away. We die together, remember?" ~

"But..." I go to object. We did say that though, didn't we? "I...guess so." ~

"It's pointless, life without you. I wouldn't want to go on without you." I know he was going to object to it. ~

"I just...wish no one had to die. And...I can't just hide here forever...it's just my luck. This...is too perfect. Nothing goes this right. Something has to go wrong." I lower my eyes. I hate talking like this, but... ~

"Not forever. You'll get older eventually. People will forget." I pause. "I've been hiding for months. It's not so bad, when you have a friend to talk to." The crazy little friend inside my mind. ~

"I didn't think it'd be bad...they're just going to find me eventually, Cato... I'm so afraid." I realize my hands are shaking, so I clench them to try and stop. ~

I haven't seen him this shaky since the night he told me he loves me. "I get that you're afraid, but...so am I." I move my chair closer to his and take his hand, forcing him to open it. "There isn't much else to do...I'm sorry." ~

"Just...promise you'll stay with me? No matter what they do?" I'm asking so much, but... "If... If they kill me, or take me away, do it quickly or slowly...even if you're not there..." I finally look at him. "Stand by me?" My voice cracks. ~

"I'll always be on your side, Peeta. Even if you're in the Capitol, and I'm here, and they all come here to ask about you...I'm on your side. I'll always stand by you. Always." ~

I scoot my chair over to sit next to him, lean my head on his shoulder, and cry in silence. I feel like it's the day I was Reaped...but now, there's no one to watch. I can cry now, having this feeling of death come over me. Because it's just Cato and I. Just as it always should have been. ~

What do I do about this? I hate seeing him cry, but...he has to get it all out eventually. "I won't let you die, you know. I promise, in the end, whether it be tomorrow or decades from now, it'll be you and me." ~

At first, I just bite my lip and nod. "I...I hope it's the latter." Then, I close my eyes and try to think of better things. Of us, decades from now, older, in a better place than here. Maybe, by then, we'll be...together, married, or..or something like that. I'd like that. I'd like that a lot. ~

"Please don't be so sad anymore...if it's the former, then you would've spent your last day of peace crying...and if it's the latter, you would've cried for no reason." I kiss the top of his head. "Come on. Life's too short either way to be sad. There should always be some reason for you to be happy." ~

"Well..." He's right on that. "I'm here with you right now." ~

"Yeah, see? It's not totally bad. And you don't know what's going to happen. Maybe we'll be okay." ~

"Yeah, maybe..." I lift my head. "...Kiss me?" ~

...Because he needs permission to do that, right? "Why are you even asking?" ~

"I just..." Because of him. "I don't know." I pause. "Please?" ~

"No, I mean, you don't have to ask me. We're dating. You can have a kiss whenever you please," I laugh, leaning in and giving him the kiss that he so kindly asked me for. ~

"I don't mean to...just...we've only really known each other for about a week, really, if you think about it. I...spoke to you two days before the Games about joining the Careers...three days in, my cannon fired...and so..so, this is day seven." ~

"Then, happy one week," I smile. "And I told you I loved you like less than a day after I kissed you. I think we're past the point of 'Can I kiss you?'" ~

"I loved you before I kissed you," I force a laugh. "Just...nervous habit, I guess." ~

"Don't be nervous around me. I'm not that great." ~

"I think so," I sigh, taking his hand. "How long do we have until someone's home?" ~

"Hours and hours and hours," I laugh. "My mom's probably really glad to finally be out of the house after all this time of just trying to force food down my throat every day, and my dad doesn't get home until late. We have the house to ourselves." ~

"And...we're still making that cake, right?" ~

"Well, duh! Birthday cake! But..." I look down at the table. "We just ate, and I'm going to want batter and stuff...so not this second, right?" ~

"No, no...but I was just making sure. Should I save some of these for your mom?" ~

"Um, yeah! She wouldn't believe how good they were unless she actually tasted them!" ~

"Just making sure!" I stand. "Do you have a container around I can pack these in? Then maybe we can just...hang out, or something." ~

"Are you joking?" I push my chair back, stand, and walk over to one of the cabinets underneath the sink. "I have entire cabinet filled with just...containers." And I open it, revealing containers of all different sizes. "You know, to fit all the fucking food they give us." ~

I lower my eyes. "Oh," I pick up the plate. "I just..." It's insane how victors live like this, and people die on the street in Twelve everyday because they can't get anything to eat. "Now I'm thinking about my family back home." They can't be doing well. "I...I took tesserae for the family. Now what've they got?" ~

He took tesserae? "Um...one less mouth to feed?" There has to be a bright side somewhere...and I suppose that's it. ~

"A month's worth of tesserae is for more than just me," I sigh. "Sure, my mouth is gone...but then there's everyone else." ~

"Can I ask you a question?" ~

"Shoot." ~

"Please don't think I'm stupider than I actually am..." ~ ~

"I don't think you're stupid," I give him a bit of a smile and take the plate of pastries and muffins to the counter. "What is it?" ~

"What exactly is tesserae...?" I know the poor kids take it, but... ~

My mouth gapes slightly before I answer. It's a different life he's had, Peeta. "It's...grain and oil. A supply you can get. You sign up, and the Capitol gives it to you for...sorta free." Free in a sense. ~

"Oh. I figured it was some type of food. I just didn't really get it completely." This makes a little more sense now. "See? The Capitol can't be all bad, right? Free food." ~

"Yeah, you can get some every month, and it lasts about that long. We used ours to eat...we could afford other grain, but that stuff was better than the tesserae, so we used it to sell." I shrug. Not all bad, right? So...if you're starving, you've got to take just one more chance on your life so you don't starve to death sooner? ~

"Cool!" I smile. "It was nice of you to take some, then...maybe one of your brothers can take it now, since you can't." ~

"They're both too old, now." You have to be of Reaping age. ~

"Oh, how old are they? Like, ten years older than you or something?" That's not that weird of an age difference anyway, and if they're too old for tesserae, then they must be adults or something. ~

"One's nineteen, the other is twenty-one." Two years apart, us three. ~

"Oh wow, my age? So I wouldn't be able to take tesserae anymore?" ~

"No, you would. I mean... you wouldn't really, but people your age could." He's just going to freak out if he knows how many times my name was in the bowl for the Reaping. ~

"So nineteen is like, the cutoff age or something? Eighteen and under only?" Makes sense, I guess. "Why not me? Do I have too much money or something?" ~

"No," I grab one of the bins. "You just..." Don't lie, but don't tell him everything. "You have to be eligible for the Reaping, too." I shrug. "So they're kinda like, 'oh, we'll give you food but you have to be in our Games' blah blah. So you couldn't, because you've already won the Games." ~

"Ohhhhhh!" Alright. Got it. "Well, obviously those people would have to be in the Games. You can't...opt out," I laugh. "Unless you like, manage to bring a knife to the Reaping and cut your heart out once your name is called." ~

"I saw a girl slit her throat open when she was Reaped. When I was really, really little. It was terrifying. I think I was like, 8, because it was my oldest brother's first Reaping." ~

"...What the fuck?" Shit. "Did she...die? Or did they patch her up and send her into the arena?" ~

"She died. They just...took her body away and pulled out another name." ~

I was just making it up. I had no idea someone would actually do that. "That's insane, but...I can see the logic." ~

"If you're gonna die anyway, right?" I start putting the pastries away. "Sad thing is, I can remember the other girl they Reaped was covered in blood, cause she was right next to the first girl. I think they were friends, my one brother had said when we got home." ~

"Your brother knew them?" ~

"Nah, but he was in the crowd with the boys. So he heard them talking about it." ~

Okay, good. That would've made them two twelve year olds that got reaped. That would've really sucked. "So...both your brothers are safe from the Games...but you got reaped...?" ~

"Yeah. Just the way the cards fell." Maybe because both of them only ever had 7 slips in. ~

"So what did you guys talk about before you left for the Capitol? I mean, did they even come see you?" ~

"Mmhmm. I got to talk to my dad alone...one last time. I cried for most of it." ~

"You said you only told him you were gay, right?" I ask. "So you guys were really close." ~

I could cry now thinking about it. "Yeah...Yeah, we really were. I'm most worried about him, back home." My voice is shaking a little. "We just were together all the time." ~

"I don't know how, but..." I feel really bad now. "I promise, I'll try to find some way for you two to see each other again." ~

A/N: Peeta's relationship with his father is super deep and important. :3 I love them. Asfuisewrnftiewo Okay, so review! xx