Christian's POV

I looked at her frail body. She was lying on her back. The sheet was barely moving...it was her beeping monitor that ensured me she was still alive... Her face was sunken and her lips were excessively dry. I couldn't believe she was the same person she was a year ago... That's it... She wasn't anymore... Twig like hands, purple fingers and nails. Her chest so frail, with the bump of each rib visible, almost tearing her skin apart like a piece of paper. Her collar bones jutted out in an abnormal way, and bruises covered her arms. Her pale flawless face was cold, and had a tinge of a grayish colour. I could see her hips jutting out from her pj's that we had managed to dress her in. I was afraid of helping them. I was afraid she was going to snap under my arms. Her spine tore through her back. I could count every single bone. She had no chest what so ever… She turned from a healthy sized girl… to… nothing… and it went unnoticed. I never thought that anyone could lose this much weight… I thought that she couldn't get any thinner…but she did… Her heart was failing… She had a severe kidney infection… she was dying slowly in front of my eyes…

I took the locket from the cabinet. I opened it and realized that it was the one we had given her. We all were there… Ana, Jason… me… I thought she wasn't going to have it there… She was angry at both of us… I knew it… I could see it in her eyes whenever she looked at us… but she masked it perfectly well… 'Guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.' I thought to myself.

Flashback – Birthday 2008

'Happy Birthday to you… Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to Sera! Happy Birthday to you! 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11,12!' We all sang.

'Make a wish peanut!' I encouraged her as I held her on my hip. She closed her eyes tightly and started smiling.

'Done!' She said back as she looked at me.

'Blow the candles peanut!' I encouraged as I helped her with them.

'Thank you daddy!' She smiled again as she let her head rest on my shoulder.

'Let's have some cake!' Ana said as she sat Jason on his feet. 'Are you going to help me my little prince?'

'Yes mommy!' He jumped with excitement.

'Good, because we still have to give the presents to your sister…' She laughed as she handed him the napkins.

'What did you wish for peanut?' I asked her gently as I caressed her cheek.

'I can't tell you daddy… Otherwise it won't be a wish anymore…' She reasoned. I chuckled at her answer and hugged her tighter.

'You're growing up too fast peanut! Promise me you'll stay my baby girl forever…'

'I will always be your baby girl daddy!' She smiled again.

'Damn… I may have to beat every boy that comes behind my door for you!' I joked again as I tickled her.

'No daddy! Besides… I want a guy with brown hair… blue eyes… with glasses… tall… strong… and have a sports car like you… and… and… I forgot…' She reasoned again.

'Yeah…' I laughed again as I sat down and placed her on my lap.

'…but…' She came forward and whispered in my ear. 'I wished for us to remain like this forever daddy… With you and mummy and Jason… I love you daddy!' she said again as she gave me a bear hug. That had caught me off guard. I hugged her back and didn't want to let her go. She was growing up, and soon she would prefer to hang out with her friends… then she'll start dating… and she'll forget us… then she'll move to college, and we won't see her often… I was thinking way ahead…

'I love you too peanut…' I replied as I kissed her forehead. '…but you have to promise me that you won't change… you'll always remain my baby girl.'

'I promise daddy!' She replied again.

'Ohhhh… and will I be your baby girl daddy?' Jason asked as he pulled on my trousers.

'No Jason…' I said again as I lifted him off. 'You'll always be my baby boy… but never my baby girl!'

'This is so difficult!'

'You'll understand when you'll grow up Jason.'

'… so that means that Cookie is a grown up daddy?'

'In certain things yes… but your mother and I will always be here for you no matter how much older you two will be…' I said again as Ana joined us. 'Right Ana?'

'Yes honey… and we'll always love you too no matter what happens.'

'I love you too mummy!' Both said in unison, while I sat them on their feet.

'I think it's time Ana.'

'Time for what daddy?' Jason asked.

'To give your sister her present…' I smiled while Ana went to get a box from the drawer.

'This is from all of us…' Ana smiled as she handed it to our daughter.

'What is it?' She asked while Ana lifted her off on her lap.

'Open it munchkin'…' she smiled while Sera complied. She took her time with the ribbon, and was careful with not ruining the wrapping paper, however soon the box was in her hand. She opened it and remained staring at it in amazement.

'What is it… What is it Cookie?' Jason jumped up and down.

'Mum… dad is this for me?'

'It's your birthday isn't it?' I told her again. 'Open it honey…' I encouraged her while she did so. 'You have a photo of all of us… so that when you feel sad, or feel alone, you'll know that we are always going to be here for you peanut.

'Do you love it?' Ana asked.

'I love it mummy!' She replied again as Ana helped her putting it on. 'It's lovely…'

End of Flashback

We promised her we were always going to be there for her. We promised her that she could rely on us… we promised her to remain as a family… Promised… they were futile promises… and it back fired… I thought… I thought that maybe… if I kept my distance away from her I would protect her from getting hurt like Jason did… I thought I could protect her from everything… I placed Taylor on 24/7 security with her just in case anything happened… I never let her alone at any moment. Security cameras have doubled at Escala. I've placed a high sensitivity metal and radioactivity detectors… Tracking devices on her phone… a tracking pin in her school bag… and it still didn't protect her… not from herself… I had to protect her from herself… and I failed… I failed as a husband… as a father… at life… I failed Jason…

I closed my eyes tight and held her locket in my hand tight. I had to change… I had to be a better person… for my wife… for my daughter… I want her to forgive me… I want to get back all that lost time with her… I want…

Tears streamed down my cheek to my lips. I could taste the saltiness. I could feel the pain eating my heart out. I wanted it to go away… but it couldn't… not until I saw her breathing and alive again… back to that light she had when she was younger.

I looked over at my wife... She was resting on the couch... Exhaustion took over her. I knew she wasn't well but she told me she stopped...

Flashback in July

We had just picked up Sera from her ballet lesson. She had already started to lose weight at that time... But it wasn't alarming. I could feel that something wasn't quite right… with both Ana and my daughter… but I decided to leave it as to my paranoia… However, my thoughts still haunted me.

'How was ballet peanut?' I asked trying to at least get her to talk.

'It was ok… Madame said I may start the advanced class soon.' She answered slowly. There was no excitement in her voice… just plain coolness.

'That's great…' I replied as I looked at the front rear mirror, and realized she was playing and scratching her fingers.

'There is something wrong… She's too enclosed…' I thought to myself… She looked different… there had to be… I decided to test my theories. I took the next turn and decided to take my family out for dinner. It had been a bit since we all enjoyed a nice family dinner out.

'Christian, this isn't the way to home…' Ana noted.

'I know…' I replied again, as I looked at the front mirror seeing Sera getting panicked. 'We're going out for dinner… It's been a bit since we've last gone out as a family…'

'…but… Gail prepared dinner dad…' She replied in panic.

'Hey… no need to panic… We can have it tomorrow.' I replied. She had just confirmed my suspicions… There was something wrong. 'Besides… we're going to your favourite place peanut…'

'Spinasse?' Ana asked.

'Yeah…' I replied again as I looked towards my daughter. She was lost into thinking… her eyes moving from side to side in worry. 'Sera… are you ok?' I asked her gently.

'Um… yeah… It's just… I… I had this huge lunch… and… I'm really not that hungry…' She said slowly. I took the first parking I found, and turned to face her.

'What lunch? I was at home and I didn't see you eat at all!' I replied back as I looked straight to her eyes. She started avoiding them, but I kept searching them again.

'I meant lunch at school dad… I had some pasta…'

'Sera… That has been 8 hours ago… You still have to have dinner…'

'…but…'

'No discussions Sera… you are going to eat… Am I clear?'

'Christian… easy…' Ana replied. 'Honey… you have to eat something… It's been 8 hours… It isn't healthy!'

'…but mum…'

'Sera, your father is right… I have to put my foot down on this…' She said again. 'Now let's go because I'm starving.' She encouraged.

We all got out of the car, and while Ana locked the car, I took my daughter from her shoulder.

'Sweet heart… is everything ok? Is something bothering you?'

'No dad… everything's fine…' She smiled.

'Ok… let's go eat then…' I smiled. I could see that she was still worried about something. She kept fidgeting with everything, and the menu choosing was the longest time she had taken to look at. She really did take her time.

'Sera… do you know what you're ordering?' I asked.

'Not really…' She replied.

'Why don't you have the Calamari fritti? Those are your favourite here…' Ana suggested.

'I… I'm not up for them… today…'

'Then what would you like?'

'Um… I think… I think I'll have a tuna salad…' She replied, but soon she changed her mind. '… no… no… I'll have a vegetarian salad…' She said as she closed of the menu.

'Are you sure?' I asked her again.

'Mhmm…'

'What do you want to drink?' Ana asked her again.

'Water would be fine…' she replied again as she dropped her gaze to her lap.

'Ok…' I replied as one of the waiters took our order. 'Ana, could you please keep my phone and wallet your bag… I need to use the restroom.'

Our dinner was quiet from Sera's side. She kept playing with her food… she thought I didn't notice… but I did… I decided to let her stay for the moment… Maybe she wasn't really hungry… I had to investigate into this…

All of us were dead tired when we were home. Ana went in to take a shower before bed. I decided to take my time with things, and sign some papers before I retreat for the night, however soon my phone started buzzing. I had realized that I left my phone in Ana's handbag...

'Ana... I left my...' I started as I rummaged through the bag.

'Wait... Wait... No...' she came running from the bathroom... But it was too late... I had found them.

I hung up… the caller could wait… 'Ana... What are these?' I asked her as I turned to face her.

'Those... Those...' she panicked as she snatched them from my hand and turned her back to me.

'Ana, please... Talk to me...' I begged her.

'It's...'

'Why are you taking those pills Ana? You look perfect and beautiful just the way you are honey!' I said again as I turned her to face me.

'I just... I've been stressed out lately...'

'So you turn to these?' I said again. 'Ana... You know how much dangerous substance abuse is! They can cause millions of things... Repercussions... You don't know how your body may react to this stuff!'

'I'm sorry Christian... I really am...'

'Ana... You have to talk to someone... We have a daughter to think about... At least for her, Ana!'

'I know...'

'Unfortunately knowing is not enough Ana... You have to promise me you are going to stop using these!' I replied again. She remained there dumbstruck and in tears.

'I'm sorry Christian...' she said again as she moved towards the bin. 'This will be the end of this...' she said again as she threw them away.

End of Flashback

I thought about it... Was it just an act? A ploy to fool me? I felt helpless... My wife was killing herself slowly... And my daughter almost died... And yet, we don't know if she'll make it... Both were self-destructive in their own ways… both couldn't control it… and I just didn't know how to handle it.

'Christian?' My father took me out of my thoughts.

'Hey dad…'

'How are you holding up son?' He asked me gently as he came from behind me and squeezed my shoulder.

'Not really holding up… my wife has an addiction… my daughter is killing herself… and I wasn't there for neither of them.'

'Christian… you can be now… both need you more than ever… stop beating yourself up… you've acknowledged your mistakes… and that's already a lot… all you need to do is fix them and to never repeat them.'

'…and how can I not beat myself up? Look at her… she's barely alive… she's barely moving… she's cold as stone… and it's all my fault dad… and I lost her to John…'

'Christian… I know it's hard… it is on all of us… but you both need to deal with this… you need to help Ana get back on her feet… you need to discuss things between you… and you need to do it alone… not in front of the kid…'

'Yeah…' I replied again as I wiped my tears away and moved forward to the edge of her bed. I lifted her hand gently, and held it into mine. It was so small… so cold… 'When is she going to wake up?' I asked again.

'I don't know…'

'Will she be able to walk?'

'I don't know…'

'Brain damage?'

'I don't know…'

'What do you know then dad?' I asked in desperation.

'…that she's alive… and stable for now… her body is just trying to recover… to find the energy again to be able to at least talk…' He replied again.

'Will she ever love me again?'

'Christian… she never stopped… that is what you fail to see… she wants you to love her no matter what… but you pushed her away… and the further you pushed her, the further she isolated herself…'

'Sera… I don't know if you can hear me… but if you can… please… I beg you… Please… don't die… fight this… I know you can win this…' I tried. 'I love you peanut!'

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