A/N: This chapter is kinda unproductive…but it synopsizes the Victory Tour period of time for both Cato and Peeta. Cato first.
After lonely weeks on the Victory Tour, I'm finally returning home. It was...interesting, to say the least. I saw the families of the tributes that I rage-killed for Peeta's sake. Some of them, while still very broken (as they should be), seemed sympathetic to me. They knew I was doing it all for Peeta, but a few others would never be as forgiving. Apparently, my relationship with Peeta was either a fling or just for television. And a good number of people in Panem believe that.
Well fuck them.
The people in the Capitol adored me, though. They especially loved how I killed every tribute after Peeta. Killing is what they look forward to in the Hunger Games, right? Not to mention how hard they rooted for me and Peeta to make it to the end. I'm sure they were disappointed when it didn't turn out that way, but they definitely liked my rampage. Anyway, while at the Capitol, I found out that they still aren't sure if he's dead or alive. Initially, they thought someone stole his corpse, then they got reports of him alive, but due to me preventing Peeta from ever leaving my house, the reports died down. They definitely loosened up on the Peacekeepers, but I know there are still a lot out there keeping an eye out for very suspicious activity-especially in District Twelve, which is a key location in his disappearance, along with District Two (although, I can't really tell the difference between the number of Peacekeepers between before and now, since there are always so many).
Speaking of District Twelve, that was not only my first stop on the Victory Tour, but it was also the hardest. It was the first day I spent without Peeta, and it wasn't that I was so attached to him, but with the way my mind has been lately, I forget that he's still here. So, without him by my side, I'd have to constantly remind myself that he's alive. I allowed myself to forget while I was standing in front of thousands of people at the Justice Building in Twelve, as to "play the part," as Peeta put it. As much as I hated crying and regret ever doing it in the first place (Damn it, Peeta!), I had to force at least a few tears to come out to make it seem like I was still upset over his death. I gave my speech somewhat monotonous and apathetic so that I'd seem completely lost, too. I think it worked.
That wasn't exactly the hardest part of visiting Twelve, though. Feelings towards me were mixed. Reasons for people hating me included killing Katniss and actually befriending Peeta and becoming intimate with him. Not everybody hated me. Some adored me just for the pure fact that I won and Peeta didn't. I'd say this might've been the first time that people in an outlying District were genuinely cheering for a Career tribute instead of one of their own tributes. This was when I discovered how serious Peeta was when he said that people hated him. And he was right about people hating him after death, too. They thought he was weak-that's what I heard most of, but there were definitely worse things that I'd managed to hear.
All this time, I thought Districts were supposed to respect their tributes.
I didn't get to meet anyone, but I always found myself looking at Peeta's family during the speech. He was definitely right about his mom; she looked like she detested me-not because I won and Peeta didn't, but because she legitimately hates the fact that we're two guys who were involved with each other. I wish I could've punched her in the face, but that would've been highly unprofessional and kinda illegal. I can't really read the look on his brothers' faces. They could hate me? I don't know. But every time I looked over, I was able to catch his father-who looks almost exactly like Peeta, I might add-sneak in a few smiles to me. Because he knows I'm keeping Peeta safe.
After the whole ordeal in District Twelve was over, and I was on the train, I was still shaken. I couldn't remember if Peeta was still alive or if I'd dreamed up an entire month of my life, so I checked the left pocket of my jacket for the note. It was there, so he was definitely real. Then I remembered that he told me I could read it when I was far off and gone, and this was as far as I was ever going to be, so I took it out and read it to myself when no one was around.
Dear Cato,
I know you must be somewhere far away, because you obviously listened to me, right? Anyway, just a few words of sanity for you to read whenever you freak out on the tour...
Well, thanks for the words of sanity.
A: I'm safe back home, teaching your mom how to bake without the box mix or can frosting.
"Well, good luck with that. You've been trying to teach her how to do that for a month." I said aloud to myself.
B: I love you. I have always loved you. And I always will. No matter what I or you say.
That's good to know, considering how many terrible things I've said to him.
C: You're going to be back soon. Count the days. I know I am.
One down, too many to go.
D: The Capitol sucks.
I laughed. "Oh, you'd regret that if they were reading this."
I thought that'd make you smile.
He knows me too well and it scares me.
E: See you soon, love.
Love,
Your obviously NEW boyfriend, Felix
P.S. Just in case. 3
The "see you soon, love" thing we have going is all my fault. What did I start? Regardless, that part makes me the happiest of them all because that's what I last said to him in the arena, and what he sent me in his resurrection package, and what he said to me before I went on the Victory Tour. Therefore, it's our thing and I love it.
From then on, I reread the note every day when I would forget he was okay.
Finally, the day to go back to District Two comes. I'm excited not just to see Peeta, but also to be back in a familiar place. I won't see him at the celebrations, since he obviously can't be outside, but I'd imagine he'll be hiding out in my closet or some similar place. What I'm looking forward to most is seeing him after the celebration, another reminder that I'm not completely insane. ~
I have mixed feelings about today.
Sure, I love Cato. I do, really. More than anything. And I've missed him so much over all of this time. I can't wait for him to be back.
But I don't know what I'll say.
Because he said no more lies.
There were lies.
I knew that he was back today because I saw all of the people getting ready near the town square, and I heard the train coming in. The crowds gathered quickly-in fact, they'd started the night before. After all, it was the victor's home district. Everyone would be out.
I'd have the house to myself today, because obviously Cato's mother was going to be there.
And his father.
But that was besides the point.
I moped around for a little bit in the morning, trying to determine what I'd do or say. Of course, I'd be happy to see him. I wouldn't want all of the anger and distrust that's been building up inside of me for about a month to be the first thing he came home to. That's not the kind of person I am. Though it'd take a lot of self control.
Then, I baked.
I'd been working during the month that he was still here on this elaborate design for a "Welcome Home" cake that his mom agreed to help me with while we waited for him. Once again, it took everything in me to continue on with making the tiered masterpiece. Because that's not the kind of person I am. I am not spiteful. I am not vengeful.
I am not a liar.
I spent the whole morning putting the finishing touches on it and storing it in the fridge that Cato's mother had helped me clear out the night before. We brought everything into the basement fridge and stored the cake in there. I'd add icing touches today. I worked hours on it, letting it numb my mind and block out the yelling and cheering going on outside.
When it came time for Cato himself to actually speak on the tv, I watched. I'd finished the cake by that point, and turned on the television in his room and sat staring out the window. I was probably the only person home in the entire District, by the looks of it. It was on his bed, staring out the window that I remained until late into the night-or early in the morning, I couldn't even tell-when everything died down. I expected him home at any moment, by this point. I sat for a while on the bed, then decided to play a bit of a game.
I ran downstairs and hid myself in the rarely used-yet, not at all dusty because of the constant cleaning service-hall closet that opened beneath the stairs. It was an odd place for a walk-in closet, hence why it wasn't ever really used. But it had lots of nooks and crannies for hiding, which was really my purpose. Then, I waited for the sound of the door to open. ~
A/N: Uh oh! Review with your thoughts and comments! x