Chapter 5

Jamie and Chuck were at the park sitting on the bench and watching Keith push Jacob in a swing.

"Keith," Jamie said. "Don't push him too high."

"I won't," Keith said.

"So how's married life?" Chuck asked.

"It's great," Jamie replied. "But we're kind of in the middle of our first fight as a married couple."

"What happened?" Chuck asked.

"Well Sophia wants kids and I told her I do too, just not right now," Jamie said.

"So you told her you hate children?" Chuck asked.

"That's not even what I said at all," Jamie said.

"Dude," Chuck said. "Telling someone you don't want to have kids translates to 'I hate children'."

"It does not," Jamie said getting out his phone. "I'm going to call Uncle Lucas and ask him."

Jamie called Lucas and put him on speakerphone.

"J. Luke!" Lucas cheered as he answered the phone. "I'm so excited you called. My new book is a success and I'm receiving the John Newbery…"

"No one cares," Jamie said. "Listen, Sophia and Chuck think I said that I hate children."

"Well did you?" Lucas asked.

"I said I wanted kids, just not right now," Jamie said.

"Oh Jamie," Lucas said in a 'you messed up' tone of voice. "Jamie, Jamie, Jamie."

"What?" Jamie asked.

"You totally told your wife you hate children," Lucas said.

"Oh come on!" Jamie shouted. "Not you too."

"You're in deep water," Lucas said.

"Just shut up and go get you Nobel Prize," Jamie said.

"It's the John Newbery…" Lucas started to say before Jamie hung up on him.

"See?" Chuck asked.

"Fine," Jamie said. "But I don't hate children."

"And you were really mean to your uncle," Chuck said.

"I'm just not in a good mood right now," Jamie said.

Chuck looked over to see Mouth sitting on another bench.

"I'll be right back," Chuck said.

Chuck walked over to Mouth.

"Hey Left Ear," Chuck said.

"What do you want Chuck?" Mouth asked.

"Jacob's daycare center is closing down and I want to know where Jimmy's daycare center was when he was Jacob's age," Chuck said.

"Miss Suzie's Fun Daycare," Mouth replied. "But she fills up fast."

"That's why I need you to right a recommendation letter," Chuck said.

"I can't," Mouth said.

"Does she hate recommendation letters?" Chuck asked.

"No," Mouth said. "I don't like you."

"Still?" Chuck asked. "What have I ever done to you Forehead?"

"Let's see," Mouth said. "You call me every part of the face except Mouth. When you were little you would make fun of me. You still do by the way. What else? Oh yeah, you shot paintballs at me one summer."

"I remember that summer," Chuck said. "I was 11."

"You drove by and squirted me with a water gun when I was doing a live exclusive with Katy Perry," Mouth said.

"On my defense, I was 17 and I obviously didn't know you were interviewing Katy Perry," Chuck said. "Wait, why were you?"

"She was here to participate in the 5K run," Mouth replied.

"Look Eyeball," Chuck said. "I'm sorry. Do you think we can put our distances aside and be friends?"

Mouth sighed.

"Okay," Mouth said.

"So you'll write the letter of recommendation?" Chuck asked.

"Yes," Mouth said.

"Now give me a hug," Chuck said.

"Do I have to?" Mouth asked.

"I know where you live and I still have that paintball gun," Chuck said.

Mouth and Chuck shared a hug.

Jamie watched from the bench, got out his phone, and called Sophia.

"Hi," Sophia's voicemail greet said. "You've reached Sophia. I can't come to the phone right now, so please leave your name and number after the beep. Oh, and if this is my husband the child hater, don't even bother. I'll just delete it. Oh and Jamie, you're sleeping on the couch tonight."