I wasn't sure how Jace wanted me to react. The initial butterflies I'd received after his lips had brushed mine had quickly disappeared when he had spoken. Jace seemed to be having the same issues as we sat in the car in silence, the hum of the engine the only sound. Had I done something wrong?
"Sorry." I uttered, my voice breaking the silence. Jace turned to face me slowly, his eyes questioning mine. He seemed to be getting wound up with himself.
"I shouldn't have done that." He repeated to himself, frustration in his voice. I was starting to get frustrated myself.
"Why?" I could feel myself blushing as I spoke, embarrassment rife in my chest. Was kissing me really that horrible of a thing to do? My question had stopped Jace in his tracks, he didn't look like he knew how to answer.
"I overstepped my mark. I'm your brother's best friend. I shouldn't have done that." Jace seemed to be talking to himself rather than answering my question.
"It was only a peck." I piped up.
"It's bad enough. I need to get you home Clary." I didn't argue with Jace. I crossed my arms, confused at what had brought all of this on. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I went through my texts not enjoying the atmosphere in the car. I had quite a few from Sebastian, all from the same number. I decided instead of blocking it or deleting them, I'd save the number. At least then I would know instantly it was him texting, plus I wasn't as scared of him anymore. If I could deal with him in person, I could deal with a text message. I also had a few messages from Simon.
Simon: I've just had to lie to your mother! What gives?
Clary: Sorry Si, I'll explain it all to you later. Java Jones in 1 hour?
Simon: Deal. I'll have your coffee waiting!
"You're not going to tell Jon about Sebastian are you?" I asked Jace as we were nearing closer to home.
"Clary. No matter how much of an idiot I am, I wouldn't break your trust. You told me that in confidence, so in confidence it stays."
"Well, you kissed me in confidence…" I muttered, quietly. Jace shot me a look.
"It's hardly the same Clary. You're my best friend's sister."
"Fine, do you want me to leave you alone? Seeing as you're having such a moral crisis about this?" I spat with a little more venom than I had intended.
"No Clary, I don't want you to leave me alone. I just can't be like this with you. There's nothing wrong with you. It's my problem." Jace said as he pulled up at my house.
"I'll let you deal with your problem then. I wouldn't want to make your life difficult." I grumbled as I hopped out of the car. Jace wound his window down as I walked up to the house.
"Clary, don't be like that!" He shouted but I ignored him, walking through the door. Today had just been emotionally turbulent. Jace kissing me was fine, it was the way he had acted afterwards that had made me confused. Sneaking up the stairs, so not to alert my mother's attention, I headed into my en-suite. Tying my hair back, I grabbed my purse before heading back out. Thankfully Jace hadn't hung about. Upon entering Java Jones, I was relieved to see that Simon had picked a booth.
"Clary!" He smiled as I approached the table. I sat myself down opposite him. "What's wrong, why do I get the impression something's wrong?" Simon babbled and I shook my head.
"It's fine. Just one of them days. Sorry that you had to lie to my family." I said honestly. I knew Simon didn't like lying and I felt quite bad that'd he had to do it for me.
"Ah, don't worry about it." Simon shook it off. "You're going to tell me all about it, so I'm sure whatever it was it'll be worth it." Simon looked at me expectantly and I don't know why I'd never told him before. He was my best friend, my confidant, my second half.
"Whatever I tell you Simon, it can't go further than this table." I made him promise, even though I knew he wouldn't betray my trust. Force of habit.
"Of course Clary, you know I wouldn't." Simon looked at me, his eyes suspicious. Clearly whatever he had thought this was going to be about, he hadn't expected it to be so serious. On that note, I went on to divulge everything. Sebastian, our relationship, the abuse, his constant calling, and his arrival in New York – I told him everything, except about Jace's involvement. I hadn't anticipated the look of hurt in Simon's eyes. It took him a while to speak. "Clary…I can't bel- Does your mum know?" He said seriously, reaching out to hold my hand across the table. I shook my head as Simon rubbed his thumb across the back of my hand.
"You need to tell someone Clary. Your parents, the police – somebody!" Simon protested.
"Its fine now Simon. I've dealt with it."
"So you met with him? Why didn't you say something earlier – I would have went with you! It was dangerous for you to go alone, Clary. Anything could have happened."
"I didn't go alone." I muttered, starting to feel suddenly more awkward. Simon just looked at me confused. "Jace went with me."
"Jace?" Simon's brow furrowed.
"He found out by accident." I tried to explain myself.
"You don't have to explain Clary, I get it. How did it go then, with Sebastian I mean?"
"Not well. He just won't give up Si. I don't know how to get him to leave me alone."
"If I ever met him, and you know I'm not a violent person, I don't know what I'd do."
"Funny you should say that." I laughed emptily, raising my coffee to my lips. "I'm pretty sure you already have." Simon's brain was working in front of me and I slowly saw the realisation dawn on his face.
"The artist on the bridge? But he was – he seemed really nice."
"That's how they get you." I smiled timidly.
"I would have never have let him draw that portrait if I'd known Clary."
"It doesn't matter to me that he drew a portrait for you, I just needed to tell someone I could trust about it."
"So you can't trust Jace then?"
I shook my head. "It's not that, I don't want to talk about Jace right now." I tried to quickly change the subject. Thankfully I had the perfect subject. "So how are things with Isabelle?"
I got home that night to further questions. Jon was reclining on my bed, throwing a stressball up into the air.
"Come on in Jon, make yourself at home." I said, putting my purse down on my desk. Jon didn't look at me as he continued to throw the ball up into the air.
"What's going on with you Clary? You told me you were going out with Simon. Mum says Simon called by and that he was acting strange. So where were you? It doesn't bother me that you went out, it bothers me that you had to lie to me." Jon mused at the ceiling. I couldn't tell this story for a second time today.
"Simon and I just got our wires crossed, I thought I was meeting him at Java Jones and he thought he was meeting me here. No biggie." I shrugged as Jon sat up.
"Something is just not adding up here. If I get wind of anything untoward Clary, I'll have to tell Mum or Dad." Jon said, exiting the room, still throwing the stressball into the air. I was quick to fill the space that he had left on the bed, part of me wishing that he had left the stressball behind. I opened up my phone, scrolling through my messages.
Simon: If you need me at any point, let me know! I'll be there in the blink of an eye (or 5-10 minutes)
Clary: Thank you Si. I really don't know what I'd do without you
Simon: Crash and burn baby. Crash and burn.
It surprised me that Sebastian hadn't messaged me anymore. It surprised me even more that Jace had.
Jace: I'm sorry about today, Clary.
I read it three times over before I could think of a response.
Clary: I'm not.
Putting my phone down for the night, I made my way downstairs to have that catchup that I'd promised my mother.
I'd forgotten how hard it was getting up for school after a weekend. I rose early, dressed early and left early not wanting to come across Jace nor Jon. I was one of the first to get to the school and the earliest in my form group. Reading over my schedule, I was relieved to see that after lunch I had double Art. Today suddenly wasn't looking so bad. Bizarrely, Isabelle was absent which made my day seemingly go slower. Simon was in none of my classes either but my contact with Jon and Jace was at an all-time low which I considered a success. By the time Art rolled around, I was completely ready to just sit and sketch for two and a half hours.
"Settle down, everyone. Settle down!" The teacher silenced the room. "Everyone will have to be quiet if you want to hear the special news." Attention seemed to be peaked, everyone suddenly curious. "As some of you will already be aware, McKenna High works in close partnership with a couple of colleges in the area. For us specifically, we are quite lucky to be closely partnered with the Art Institute. This year, we will be making the most of that partnership in a project that focuses on partnership itself. You will be working in small groups with students from the Institute to create a piece that all members of the group will be graded upon." The room was full of chatter as people talked excitedly some about the idea of 'college boys', some about the opportunity. All I could hear was my heart thumping in my ears. I didn't even hear the teacher beckon everyone to leave the room, I just saw everyone making a general beeline for the door. Gathering my things, I trailed along at the back of the crowd. Why was I getting myself so worried? Surely it wouldn't be first year college students. Even it was, what was to say that Sebastian would be one of them? Taking a deep breath, I followed my classmates into a large empty classroom. The room was set up with tables, each with four seats.
"Here's how this thing is going to work. I am going to let you choose ONE person from this group to be partnered with. Remember those pineapples I had you draw last week? You and your partner are going to put your sketches on a table together, the Institute students will be coming in once we have left the room. They will then pick which table they want to sit at based on your sketches and therefore which group they want to work with. We will then come back in, and you will sit at your original table and get to know your partners. No doubt you'll be seeing enough of them over the upcoming year." As soon as the teacher was finished speaking, I made sure to grab mine and Isabelle's sketches from the front desk before placing them both on a table relatively near the back. Once everyone was done, we were ushered into a classroom whilst the Institute students picked their tables. I spent the entire five minutes praying to any god that would listen that Sebastian wouldn't be in that room. I felt extremely uneasy as we were told it was time to go back into the room. It was a strange atmosphere when we went back in. Clearly the art students had chosen their seats, as their bags were present at the stations but only a few were sat down, most of them gathering supplies from the far side of the room. As far as first looks went, I couldn't see Sebastian. There was however someone sat at my table. The guy sitting there was gathering a lot of attention from the other girls in the room, which wasn't at all surprising. He was dark-skinned with dark curly hair, his arms covered in script like tattoos. He was pretty damn attractive. Moving myself around to the other side of the table, I placed my bag on what would be Isabelle's seat.
"Hey there. I'm Jordan, Jordan Kyle." He smiled wide, reaching over the table to shake my hand. Jesus, his hands were huge. And warm.
"Hi, I'm Clary." I smiled back, still feeling slightly on edge.
"I'm not entirely sure how this is meant to work, but isn't there meant to be another one of you?" He asked, looking at the seat where I had placed my bag.
"I could say the same to you." I looked at the empty seat next to him. "But to answer your question, my partner is ill today, so she'll be here next time."
"Well, my partner is about somewhere. Probably getting some good supplies before they all get wrecked. Which pineapple is yours by the way?" He asked, pushing the pieces of paper towards me. I pushed mine back towards him and he smiled again. "Easily the best one in the room, it's the reason we picked this table." I could feel myself blushing a little bit, my stomach starting to settle. "I wonder where he's gotten too, the bloody supplies are only over there." Jordan started to crane in his seat, looking through the crowd. "Ah here he is." I tried to follow his gaze but I couldn't see very much from my seat. Until my worst fears were confirmed.
"Clary, this is Sebastian. Seb, Clary."
Thank you to everyone who reads and reviews! You make my day! All my love, until next time. ~Sapph