Ana's POV

The day seemed to be going great. We were actually talking as a family. Sera was smiling, and not the smile she gave to hide everything… but it seemed that she was smiling from the inside slowly. I could see her being honest for once.

'Mum?' she asked gently.

'Yes munchkin?'

'Can I go for a walk?... I'm tired in the same position...'

'Um... It's not that I don't want you to... but I don't want you to get hurt...' I replied thoughtfully. She asked me when Christian wasn't there because she knew he would have said no... With me it was different... She knew she could get away with things.

'I won't be long mum... I'll just move around a little... Pleaseee pretty please with the cherry on top!' she begged as she came forward and kissed my cheek.

'Damn... You got me all mushy now…'

'Please mummy! I won't be long I promise...'

'Ok... Ok... But don't go too far...' I replied finally giving in to her plea. 'Do you want me to come with you?'

'No mum... It's fine...' she smiled as I helped her up to her feet.

'Don't take long...'

'I won't...' She replied back.

I saw her move slowly hoping that she won't fall. Her legs were so tiny. They could barely function as legs should. Her body had literally digested her muscles, and it broke my heart. I saw her move more far away to were the beach was, but soon Christian came from behind me taking me out of my thoughts.

'Geez! You scared me!' I said while he dropped a passionate kiss on my lips.

'I love scaring you… you know… that mini fright…' He replied. 'Here… your ice-cream…' he smiled as he handed it to me.

Christian's POV

'Where's Sera?' I asked as I placed everything beside us.

'She wanted to go for a small walk…' Ana replied as she motioned to where she was walking.

'Is she ok?'

'Yes…she needs some time Christian…' She replied again while I saw her from far ahead slowing down until she finally sat to rest.

'I'll go beside her… I'll be right back baby…' I smiled as I kissed her again. 'Enjoy that ice cream…' I teased while she spooned me some and I kissed her back with the chill on my mouth.

Sera's POV

I look far ahead to the horizon where the sky finally meets the sea. It's one of the greatest world illusions that we humans… that we mortals do have… I look towards it and wonder how everything is… illusions… my life is full of that… I wish it were as simple as a flower… I sometimes was in full contradictions on what is real and what is not. Everything seemed to be passing by a blur… it's like I was out of myself… I couldn't feel much… I just wanted to be happy again…

Today wasn't so bad with my parents… but again… is this an illusion? Are they going to be always like this or is this only a façade?

Christian's POV

'Penny for your thoughts?' I asked her taking her out of her deep trance while I sat beside her. 'It's beautiful here…'

'Mhmm…' She replied gently.

'You know… I remember when we both used to run here… and throw sand to each other… and over door I taught you how to jump… I remember you were absolutely scared on jumping. I promised you I'll catch you…'

'…you promised not to ever let me fall…' She replied.

'Yeah… and Jason… I remember he never wanted to get out of the water…'

'…and remember when mum and I brought a bucket filled with water while you were sleeping slash sunbathing?'

'Tell me about that! You took out 10 years from my life…'

'…and I enjoyed seeing you jump three feet off the towel…'

'…and I chased you and your mother till you both were again wet in the beach.'

'I miss those time daddy…' She admitted as I placed my arm protectively around her shoulder.

'I do too… I miss my old daughter…' I replied again. 'Sera… please… tell me… what are you feeling?'

'I… I still haven't figured that out… I want to know… but I feel so out of myself… it's like I'm watching my life as a movie… it's like I'm already dead… I am dead inside…' She said again while I hugged her and hid her face into my chest.

'I'm sorry we haven't been there for you Sera…' I replied chokingly. 'I'm very sorry for making you like this… I miss my old daughter… and I lost all that time… only to realize that I may not have that much time left with you…'

'Dad…'

'No… listen to me Sera…' I insisted again. 'When you were born I made a promise to myself to protect you and love you no matter what… but when you started growing up, I started dishonouring that promise… and look where it got you… your brother was killed because of me… and I didn't realize the pain you were in… I thought that if I made myself scarce from you I would have decreased any potential danger. I was trying to protect you from the outside world… only to have forgotten that I couldn't protect you from yourself…' I continued. 'This illness… disease that is consuming you, is killing you slowly and painfully… I cannot just control this… I wish I can't take this pain from you and make you forget all the hurtful things I said and did to you…'

'Dad… please stop…' She said in tears.

'Peanut… I love you… your mother and I always had… We're sorry we've let our marriage problems get in the way… we left you alone when you needed us the most… I'm sorry…' I replied again. 'I just wish you can call me daddy as you used to before… I wish you can tell me that you love me… I wish I can have my daughter back… but this monster is eating you from the inside… and I miss what we used to be… what we used to have… you were once a daddy's girl… my baby girl… and now…'

'I'm sorry dad… I never wanted this to get this far… I always thought that I can do it for some time and then stop… I always said that to myself… I always did… I convinced myself that I can stop… but when time went by… I couldn't stop…' She admitted. 'I wanted to die… I want to die and end this all… I'm tired of having to keep counting everything… having to have everything in perfect order… I just want to be happy and carefree like I once was… I want to be able to live… I want to look at food and not be afraid of it… I want to eat daddy… I really do… but I can't…' She cried. 'Please dad… don't let me die… don't leave me alone…'

'Honey… I promise I won't!' I said again as I lifted her on my lap and rocked her gently while rubbing her back in smooth circles. 'Sera… I'd like to know… don't you feel hungry? I mean… how do you do it?'

'It's hard to explain dad… I do feel my stomach in pain… but when it grumbles… it feels better… I feel better…' She replied again. 'You know… back at home… I tried eating… I really have… but when I went towards it… I got scared and left it… The other time… I started to eat… but I binged… I couldn't stop…'

'That's because you let yourself get too much hungry…'

'No dad… it's not that… it's just… I lost control… Gail saw me… and she tried holding me from… from purging it. She hugged me and tried holding me on the couch… but… I couldn't keep it down… my stomach hurt… I simply made one run to the bathroom…' She replied again while I closed my eyes in pain and hugged her tighter. 'It's easier like this dad… I don't have to worry about controlling…'

'…and I was too blind to see this…'

'Dad… don't blame yourself… please don't…'

'How can I not Sera? I look at you and my heart breaks… you're skin and bones… you barely have the energy to walk… and you're on a feeding tube…' I broke down. '…parents are supposed to be worrying about whom guy you'll be dating… I am supposed to keep you safe from any jerks… not allowing you to get hurt from any creep… and yet… I can't protect you from yourself Sera… I was too busy pushing you away that I didn't realize all this damage…'

'I'm sorry dad… I really am… I never wanted you to feel like this…'

'I just want you to be happy… I want you to be able to come to me and tell me anything that is on your mind…'

'I want that too dad…' She replied again as she searched for my hand and tangled her fingers to mine. 'Dad… please… don't give up on me… I… I need you!'

'I won't! I promise I won't ever leave you again… and neither your mother will…' I said again as I squeezed her hand gently. 'I'm never leaving alone…' I emphasized.

'You mean it?'

'I do… I promise peanut…'

'I love you dad…'

'I love you too Sera… I love you very much!' I replied feeling relieved that she could finally say it and mean it…

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