~Bitter sweet thing
Could this be a dream?
Or just the same nightmare that keeps me awake
Feel it in my brain
Tall shot of pain
Pour a little out now for the love that we've made
I feel it in the morning
It's still here in the morning
I see ya but you're gone
Telephone the doctor
I'm not okay.
The bottom of the bottle
To fill this empty heart up
A thousand proof
Don't change the truth
I diving but I cant~
Lauren's P.O.V.
I woke up the next morning alone, the sheets and the empty side of the bed still warm from her body. I rolled over; burying my face in the pillow we shared, taking in her scent, letting it invade my senses, taking me back to last night, more like just a couple of hours ago. I told her I loved her and she didn't say it back.
SHE DIDN'T SAY IT BACK.
The heartache began to take over, she didn't say it back, she doesn't feel the same way. How can she do that, hold me the way she does, kiss me the way she does, make love to me the way she does and not say it back…HOW?
~KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK~
My heart stopped; maybe it's HER.
I quickly stopped the tears that were forming in my eyes and wiped the tiredness from my face, "come in!"
The door slowly opened, Ally walked in, "hey cousin," she smiled so sweetly and I did my best to hide the ache in my chest, "you ready for breakfast? Everyone's outside, such a beautiful morning."
I mustered up the best smile I could, "yup, I'll be right down, save me a seat!"
"You got it!" she said closing the door behind her.
I made my way outside to the grass area just a few yards from the water where breakfast was set out on a long table that accommodated all of us. Everyone was there, even Cece, who I had the pleasure of meeting in the hallway on Camila…ugh, her face alone made me ill.
"Good Morning," I said taking the seat in between Ally and Blake.
"Cece, you've met my cousin Lauren right?" Ally said towards the blonde seated across from us.
She chuckled, "kind of, pleasure," her smile evil, "did you find the bathroom okay?"
She made my skin crawl and it took everything in me NOT to tell her to PISS the FUCK OFF!
"It's nice to meet you, officially," I just smiled.
Everyone began to dig in at the delicious array of food in front of us, I grabbed a cinnamon roll, I didn't have much of an appetite for anything else. I couldn't help but look around the table and my surroundings anxiously for brown eyes, I was surprised because I figured she'd be seated across from me, in the empty seat next to Cece, gosh I loath her! But Camila was nowhere to be seen.
WHERE IS SHE?
"Uhhh, where's Mila?" Dinah asked before forking some potatoes and stuffing them in her mouth; I'm glad someone asked.
"You think she'd ACTUALLY make her own breakfast in time," Ally shook her head, as everyone seemed to laugh around the table.
"ANNNDDD she was the first one off to bed," Normani added with a laugh shaking her head, "typical Mila," she took a sip of her mimosa.
"I can hear you guys talking trash on me!" she yelled walking from the house, down the steps towards the rest of us, taking a seat next to Cece.
UGH.
The blonde instantly throwing an arm around her, I've pretty much lost all my appetite at this point, "hey," the blonde leaned in, brushing her lips against her cheek and for a second it looked like Camila tried to dodge her, I feel sick, really sick, this is such BULLSHIT! "What took you so long?"
Brown eyes locked on me, I didn't WANT to even look at her, how could she be with ME last night and just have this girl all over her, but I couldn't tear away from her eyes, "ahhh," wide chocolate orbs still on me, "I was on the phone with my father, he'll be here tonight," she swallowed hard.
Cece grabbed Camila's face, breaking her gaze from me, "I don't like it when you talk and don't look at me," she tried to sound cute…it wasn't; I even saw Normani's disgusted face at Cece's demanding tone.
Camila shook out of her hands, "I'm hungry," she tried to smile, making a face at me, almost apologetic as she turned towards everyone else, "can someone pass me a cinnamon roll please?"
"Sorry Mila," Adam said taking a big bite of his cinnamon roll, "you snooze you lose!" he began to laugh stuffing his face as Dinah laughed along with him.
"Babe, that's so mean," Dinah stuck her tongue out at Camila.
"Are you serious?" she stood up overdramatically as everyone began to laugh, lightening the mood, I'm so angry with her and hurt, but THAT face, that adorable caramel skin face of hers, so precious when she's hungry, "guys! You know the only thing I pretty much eat in the morning are cinnamon rolls," her eyebrows furrowed, she made a sad face.
"Here," Cece gestured with her plate, "have a grapefruit."
Camila shook her head, perking an eyebrow, "yeah…I don't do fruit in the morning."
Ally almost spat out her orange juice as Camila let out the words with a grossed out facial expression.
Is it crazy how you can be hurt and angry with someone, but they can still make your heart flutter and put a small smile on your face all at the same time? Well it was happening.
"Here," her shimmering brown eyes locked with mine, "you can have mine," I placed the cinnamon roll on her plate.
"No," she shook her head slowly, "I don't wanna take YOUR cinnamon roll," a small smile coming through, "you love cinnamon rolls," her tone so sweet, warming my heart…a little.
"It's okay," I couldn't stop my lips from pulling to a half smile, yeah she can do that to me with one look, it's ridiculous how weak she makes me, "it's yours," I let out.
Normally I wouldn't part with my cinnamon roll, NO FLIPPING WAY, but I guess just this once I can make an exception…just this once.
"I just…" she poked her lips out and all I could think about was kissing her lips, her lips on my body, oh gosh staaaaappppp it! "I just..I just wouldn't feel right about it."
"Since when have you EVER not taken a cinnamon roll offered to you?" Ally said looking from Camila to me then back to Camila.
I suddenly became VERY aware of my surroundings and that ALL eyes were on us and our little interaction, Cece's eyebrows furrowed, arms cross as she stared me down, DO NOT LOOK AT HER…I might just turn to stone, sheesh.
Camila batted her lashes, almost as if she was coming back down from something, "we'll split it!" she nodded, breaking it in half, taking a bite as she broke eye contact, turning her attention back to Cece.
~I can't drink you away
I've tried jack
I've dried Gin
I've tried all of them yes
But I can't drink you away
All these rocks, I can't swim outta this skin I'm living in
Now tell me baby
Don't they make a medicine for heartbreak?
Tell me baby, oh yeah, now don't they make a medicine for heartbreak.
Got the pounding on my brain
So I drowned it away
When the sun comes up tomorrow
You can find me doing the same
'Coz I just can't forget
They way we turned out this big
And now the only thing that sleeps here is a ghost of you instead~
Camila's P.O.V.
SHIT!
I hope no one noticed that, it's so hard to concentrate with green eyes in front on me, they just hold me, when I look into her eyes, I can't see anything…anyone else. Is this what love feels like?
I shook my head.
Okay, it's awkward, change the subject, change the subject, "hey guys," good thing everyone was ALREADY staring at me, "my father will actually be here tonight so don't make any dinner plans," I flashed a half smile, my father made me uneasy, it's been tough ever since my mom passed, "he wants to have dinner with all of us." I smiled.
Everyone nodded in agreement.
"Hey Lauren," Blake began to talk to her and I really wanted to kick him right then and there, "I was thinking we could have lunch in town today?"
OVER MY DEAD BODY! Is what I wanted to say…NO! ….JUST NO!
My eyes locked on the fair skin beauty in front of me as she glanced my way, her eyes questioning, "well, " she began, looking at him, then glancing back at me and her gaze was different, almost hurt…cold, she turned back towards him, "I'd love too."
WHAT THE FUCK! And that's when I realized Cece's arm was around my shoulder. I need to get out of here…I need to breathe!
"Uh, excuse me." I stood up making my way through the house and on the other side.
I couldn't stop pacing back and forth, what the heck am I doing? I can't stand that guy being NEAR her let alone taking her out on a date, I just wanna kill him! But my father will be here tonight and I need to be PRESENTABLE as I call it, "FUCK!" I screamed in frustration.
"Mila, you okay?"
I flinched at the question, I thought I was alone, "hey Dinah, yeah," I shrugged my shoulder, "I'm fine."
I'm NOT fine.
"Oh, here I thought you were upset," she pressed her arms together narrowing her eyes at me, "you know the whole Lauren and that guy out there thing."
My eyes widened at her words and I shot her the how the heck do you know look.
"Dawwwggg, were you THAT drunk the night of the strip club that you REALLY don't remember?" she shook her head an amused look on her face.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." I said shaking my head, damn I must've had a lot to drink that night…come to think about it, I did, dropping a 100k, who does that?
She began to chuckle, "yes," she nodded "I KNOW," ohhh crap, "and I didn't tell anyone, so relax," gosh it's like she's reading my mind, well she has known me since forever, "you really don't remember huh?" I shook my head, "well you had A LOT to drink and let's just say you started rambling about HER," her eyes wide and I could feel my cheeks flush with heat, what did I say? Sheesh "lets just say you kept requesting EVERY single green eyed stripper to our VIP section," she began to laugh.
"Duuuddddee, no I didn't?" I said wide-eyed.
HOW EMBARASSING!
"Oh, but you did," she nodded as she continued to laugh, "so it finally happened," she nodded.
WHAT?
"What happened?" I said not knowing what she was getting at.
She gave me the don't act dumb look, "You're into Lauren," she shot me another look, "and after that little exchange you two had about the cinnamon roll," she perked an eyebrow, "you are REALLY into her."
I hit my hand on my forehead, "I know," I confessed.
"Then what the fuck is you problem, gosh Cece…seriously? Mila I can't stand her! And that guy, what's his name, Blake is taking her out…don't be stupid Mila!" she said shaking her head.
WHAT THE FUCK IS MY PROBLEM?
I shook my head, my eyes locking with my best friend, "I'm…" I shook my head again, "I'm just trying to get through this week Dinah, my father will be here tonight," her facial expression softened, understanding exactly what I meant, Dinah knew my father's expectations, "I'm just trying to get through this week and I'm still figuring things out," which was all true.
She made her way to me, pulling me in for a hug, "yeah, I hear ya," we parted, "just don't take too long figuring it out, Cece, you're father…screw them finding out, I'm worried about Ally," her eyes went wide, "you do know she's gonna KILL you right?" she nodded.
"I KNOW…I KNOW," I nodded as I exhaled, "thanks for reminding me!"
"Anytime!" she said sarcastically, "so don't take too long to figure things out because the way that girl looks at you," she paused.
"What about the way Lauren looks at me?" I could feel my heart's pace pick up just thinking about her eyes, those eyes.
"…that girl, the way she looks at you, she loves you, so don't take too long figuring things out," she let out before making her way out.
I LOVE HER TOO.
~I feel it in the morning
It's still here in the morning
I see ya but you're gone
Telephone the doctor
I'm not okay.
The bottom of the bottle
To fill this empty heart up
A thousand proof
Don't change the truth
I diving but I cant
I can't drink you away
I've tried jack
I've dried Gin
I've tried all of them yes
But I can't drink you away
All these rocks, I can't swim outta this skin I'm living in
(Now say) Now tell me baby
Don't they make a medicine for heartbreak?
Tell me baby, oh yeah (one time), don't they make a medicine for heartbreak.~
I managed to get away from Cece for a few minutes thank goodness; I have to fake the funk tonight, I need a breather! I made my way around the house looking for Lauren, I hope she didn't leave yet for town. I made my way outside and there she was on the dock, she'd change for lunch…for him and the thought of it all made my heart hurt, I didn't want her to go with him. I walked through the grass area towards the dock, examining the perfect vision in front of me. She's wearing a cute sundress, the color perfectly complimenting her porcelain skin, her milk chocolate locks flowing down her back, waving with the wind…perfect.
Her back was turned to me, what do I say, what do I say, "thanks for the cinnamon roll," seriously? That's what you come up with? Seriously? LAME!
She slowly turned around, red lipstick…I had to exhale, she's so beautiful.
"You're welcome," her tone was cold, can't blame her.
"Lauren!" both our eyes turned towards the house, "we should get going!" Blake yelled.
"Yeah! I'll be right there!" she shouted back before he turned back inside the house, "I'll see you later Camila."
I stepped in front of her, "I don't want you to go."
Her eyes narrowed towards me, "why?"
"Because…" I didn't really think this all the way through.
She rolled her eyes, "BECAUSE isn't good enough Camila."
BECAUSE! Because I CAN'T stand the thought of you being with anyone else, because I want you to be with me, because I want you to stay with me…because I'm IN LOVVV-
My thoughts were cut off, "I'll see you later," she began to walk, but I stepped in her way, "Camila…" she sounded frustrated.
Why can't I just say it…just say it, "I don't want you to go."
She chuckled, "what are WE huh? Are we friends?" she pressed her lips together clearly frustrated, "are we FUCK buddies? Is that what I am to you?" NO…I shook my head, I couldn't gather my thoughts and my feelings, her eyes began to water, "…maybe we should just be nothing," she said in a whisper, "I'm sure we'd be better off that way…"
…NOTHING, the word killed me.
She stepped around me walking and I grabbed her hand, her watery eyes meeting mine…again, she's crying because of me AGAIN and my heart was breaking, just say it, just tell her… "Lauren," our eyes locked, "…if you can just wait-"
"I told you I loved you!" she said firmly, hurt in her tone, "I told you that I'm in love with you," I watched a tear run down her face, "…and you didn't say it back," her voice cracking.
"Lauren! Lets go!" Blake yelled, as my brown eyes remained locked on hers.
"One minute! I'll be right there!" She wiped the tear away.
"Don't go Lauren," I shook my head closing whatever gap there was between us as I grabbed her arms, "please, don't go with him."
"I need a reason Camila…" her eyes held me...just say it; just tell her how you feel.
"I-I-I," I swallowed the lump in my throat, just say it!
WHAT ARE YOU SO AFRAID OF?
"I can't wait anymore," she turned around walking way and I just let her.
YOU FUCKING COWARD!
~(Break it down)
I can't drink you; no I can't drink you away, away
I can't drink you; I can't drink you away, away
I can't drink you; I can't drink you away, away
I can't drink you; no I can't drink you away
I can't drink you away
I've tried jack
I've dried Gin
I've tried all of them yes
But I can't drink you away
All these rocks, I can't swim outta this skin I'm living in
(Say) So tell me baby
Don't they make a medicine for heartbreak?
Tell me baby, oh yeah (one time), don't they make a medicine for heartbreak.
Tell me baby, did they make a medicine for my heartbreak, heartbreak
Tell me baby, did they make a medicine for my heartbreak
Coz I can't drink you away
I've tried jack
I've tried Gin
I've tried all of the brim
I can't drink you away
All theses rocks I can't swim outta this skin I'm living in~
Dinner went off without a hitch, even without my father, he had to take care of some last minute business and was unable to fly in tonight. Even with the best meal and the best company I felt like shit! Watching Blake put his arm around Lauren killed me and I wanted to KILL him! I feel like I'm playing this role I don't even want to play…that's exactly it and now looking at them on the couch, her giggling at whatever the fuck he was saying…it pissed me off, it hurt more than anything and I did THIS, I pushed her to him.
We were all gathered in the grand room, "I just want to thank you all for being here," I raised my glass, "obviously you all mean a lot to me," my eyes locking with emerald orbs.
Cece squeeze against my arms, "cheers!" she said enthusiastically.
We all drank our champagne, Dom Perignon, not gonna lie I'm feeling a bit tipsy and well when I drink, I become a bit unfiltered…I need to relax…no more drinks.
"Would anyone care for more champagne?" My butler asked as he walked around with a platter of bubbly.
Then I heard her giggle again, leaning in, closer to him.
"Don't mind if I do," I grabbed two glasses downing one right away and placing the empty glass back on the platter, the other one still in hand.
"Mila!" Cece said enthusiastically, "why don't you play you're guitar and sing us a song!" she clapped as everyone began to nod in agreement.
NO THANK YOU!
I waved my hand around, "nahhh," yup, a bit tipsy, yuupppp.
"Oh come onnnn," she whined, giving me a look, I AM NOT IN THE MOOD FOR YOUR LOOKS!
I leaned in, "I really don't want to right now," I whispered in her ear.
She flashed me the fakest smile and I could tell all eyes were on us, ALL eyes, "how about you NOT embarrass me right now and just sing a fucking song," she whispered back in my ear through gritted teeth.
"By popular demand," I held my drink out to everyone, turning to Cece, flashing her a look, "I will be singing…cheers," I downed my drink.
I made my way to the grand piano, sitting on the bench as I grabbed my guitar that was right next to it, strumming and tuning it.
"Can I get another glass!"
I looked up, facing everyone, "any requests?" I looked around, "just kidding, I don't take request," I began to laugh to myself, yeah I think I'm drunk…a little drunk, "well I uh," I have no idea what I'm saying right now, kind of, "I wrote this recently for uh…,"I locked with green eyes for a second, just for a second before looking down at the strings, "no one in particular…here goes…"
"Honey you are a rock , Upon which I stand, And I come here to talk, I hope you understand, That green eyes, yeah the spotlight, shines upon you And how could, anybody, deny you,"
I looked up, her green eyes on me already, a smile creeping on her face and I could feel mine coming through as I continued to sing.
"I came here with a load, And it feels so much lighter, now I've met you, And honey you should know, that I could never go on without you, Green eyes,"
It's so true, the lyrics, I remember writing them for HER, it's all true and I felt it as I let them out, I FELT HER.
Honey you are the sea, Upon which I float, And I came here to talk, I think you should know. That green eyes, you're the one that I wanted to find, And anyone who, tried to deny you must be out of their mind, Cause I came here with a load, And it feels so much lighter, since I met you, Honey you should know, that I could never go on without you,"
Everyone disappeared and all I could see were her beautiful emerald eyes, I loved them so much…I loved her so much.
"Green eyes, Green eyes, Ohohohohooooo, Ohohohohooooo, Ohohohohooooo, Ohohohohooooo, Honey you are a rock, Upon which I stand,"
I continued to strum as I watched her sparkling green eyes narrow at me, almost taken aback, pulling her bottom lip in between her teeth before smiling.
I think Dinah started to clap inducing everyone else to do so as well, she was probably trying to cover for me. Cece looked pissed, right now, intoxicated and all, I really don't give a shit! I told her I didn't want to sing…well that's what she gets.
I stood up, grabbing the drink placed near me and downing it. I placed my guitar back on the stand, I took a bow, "calling it a night folks," I locked with her bright emerald eyes…there's more than one way to say you love someone right? This was my way; I hope she knows that, "good night." I made my way towards the stairs.