For all those that wanted some drama! :) Enjoy! :D and Please review! :D


Christian's POV

'Sera?' I asked gently as I looked around her. 'What are you looking for? What's wrong?' I asked her as I went beside her and tried getting her away from everything.

'No dad!' She replied back while she pushed me away and continued searching. 'Dammit… Where the fuck are they?' She said in gritting teeth.

'Sera!' I grabbed her again from her arms and looked straight to her eyes. 'What. Are. You. Looking. For?' I emphasised slowly as I looked deeply into her eyes only to find an empty scared… terrified pair looking at me. She struggled trying to free herself but I only held her tighter. I took a quick look around from the corner of my eyes, and realised that she went for her box. She didn't find anything… of course… I had found them before her.

'Dad… let me go…' She begged.

'Not until you tell me what you are looking for Sera!' I emphasised again.

'Just some stuff… ok?' She quickly answered as she avoided my stare.

'Stuff? Sera I know what there was in that box… and even that drawer for the matter…'

'What?' She replied. 'No it can't be! You couldn't have!'

'Sera! Calm down!' Ana tried again while she went back to searching.

'No… no… no… you can't find those… no!' She cried in desperation.

'Sera!' I grabbed her again while she fought me. 'Sera stop it! I found them… I took them away…'

'No!'

'Sera… I found everything… your blades… your pictures… your CD's… your journal…' I tried explaining calmly, only to feel her trembling underneath me. I hugged her immediately while she pushed me again.

'You went through my things?' She asked in disbelief. 'Again? What the fuck dad! You can't do that!'

'Hell yes I can Sera! You are my daughter and you live under my roof!'

'Sera, your father did for your own good…' Ana intervened.

'My own good mum? You both haven't been any good of parents and now you want to do things for my good?' She replied as she moved away from us. 'You have no right going through my stuff… my private possessions! You have no right at all going through my thoughts!' She angrily replied.

'Sera! We didn't want to! We had to!' I explained. 'Why are you taking it like this?'

'Why? You're asking me why dad?' She asked in disbelief. 'You now know all my dirty little secrets… now you know what an imperfect daughter you have! Now you know everything and I can't… can't have anything private!' She cried.

'Honey!' Ana replied again. 'We had to do this… you're sick… you're tired… you look pale… you've got circles under your eyes… We just want to understand why you cut… we want to understand how you do it!' Ana replied back.

'Oh… and you do that by taking my journal? By taking my blades?' She angrily replied. 'You want to know how I do it?' She asked again as she turned around and opened a drawer. I still didn't catch up to her on what she was about to do. She took out a mirror and with one swift movement she broke it she grabbed a piece of it and lifted off her sleeve. In one swift movement she dragged it across her arm and a deep line was forming. 'This is how I do it!' She sternly replied. I ran towards her while Ana had to sit down at the scene in front of her eyes. I took away the sharp object from her hand before she sliced it again. Blood was gushing and large puddles on the ground were forming. She seemed out of it and I had to hold her before she crumbled to the ground. She seemed calmer… it was like a drug to her leaving her needy for more. She was smiling in relief and breathing calmly.

'Sera! What have you done?' I asked in concern and worry as I held her close to me while her legs gave out. Blood was still coming out. 'Ana… grab me a towel…' I ordered immediately as I saw my daughter getting paler and paler… 'Sera…' I asked chokingly, as I felt my eyes water. 'Why?'

'You wanted to know how I did it…' She replied slowly. She was out of it… Ana gave me the towel and went straight to the phone to call my mother. She needed stitches for sure, and maybe a sedative. I couldn't believe how this all turned out to be. She was supposed to be in pain… but instead her face was full of relief… She kept blinking slowly. 'Sera… don't sleep!' I insisted as I held her close to me. The white towel was becoming red slowly. She was losing too much blood.

'Grace and Carrick are on their way…' Ana replied slowly as she brought a damp facecloth and placed it on Sera's forehead. 'Honey… why? Why do you do it?' She asked her gently.

'I'm sorry…' She admitted as she curled up in a ball making herself small as possible. '…but I feel better…'

'How better?' I asked her gently.

'Relieved… I was angry… hurt that now… now you know everything…' She replied again as she took a deep breath. Her words were starting to slur. 'It's how I get by… the pain… the stinging… They exceed my threshold value… and there it is… I'm calm…' She smiled weakly as she shivered.

'Sera… you need to stay awake… Can you do that for me?' I asked her gently.

'I'm tired dad…' She relied again.

'I know… but I need you to stay awake for me… ok?' I asked her gently again as I lifted her off and held her close to my chest.

'Christian…' Gail interrupted as I kissed my daughters forehead while Ana kept running her hand up and down Sera's leg. 'Mr. and Mrs. Grey are here…'

'Let them in…' I simply replied while I held her tighter to me.

'Ana… Christian… what happened?' Dad asked while I felt my daughter's body losing its fight and her going into a restful sleep.

'Can we speak outside dad?' I asked him gently as I lifted my daughter off and tucked her in bed gently.

'Yes, of course son…' He replied. 'Grace… will you take care of here or do you need me?'

'I'll do it Carrick…' My mother smiled while Ana moved to our daughter's bed, and sat on the edge of the bed.


'Christian… What's wrong?' He asked me as we entered my study.

'Dad… I don't know what to do anymore… I'm losing her… We… Ana asked her that she wanted to know how she did it… and she just… she broke the mirror and cut herself… in front of us…'

'Christian you know that this isn't easy on her… She's trying to fix things alone because she's used to fend for herself…'

'It's not that dad…'

'Than what is it son?' He asked me gently as he placed hand on my shoulder and squeezed it tight.

'Dad she… she looked all relieved when… when she sliced herself up… she literally calmed down… and John told me something else today…'

'What is it son?'

'Dad she did drugs…'

'What?'

'Yeah… my same reaction…' I replied as I sat on the couch and rubbed my face. 'What am I to do dad?'

'Do you know what she messed up with?' Dad asked again as he sat beside me.

'Weed and happy pills…' I chocked. 'I'm losing her aren't I?'

'Don't say that Christian!'

'How can I not dad? You were always there for me… both you and mum… for me, Mia, Elliot and even John… and what have I been to my daughter? Nothing…'

'What happened Christian tonight? What triggered this?'

'I… She found out I know about everything…'

'…and by everything you mean?'

'These dad…' I replied as I handed him the pictures, blades… journal…'


Dear Bert,

Today was the hardest day ever… I had to lie to my best friend. She confronted me and I had to lie to her… but I can't stop this… I'm afraid… everything seems to come automatically… My father hates me… my mother is too busy… both arguing… I just wish to die right now… not wake up the next morning… that would actually be something good…

Anyways… off to 'sleep'… maybe the night will take me away with it…

Sera xx


He read as he looked at me.

'Christian this is serious!'

'I think I realized this by now… How do I make her want us again? Make her want to live again?'

'Christian she needs love… she needs you… both! Ana and you!'

'Dad… How would you have dealt in this situation?'

'Christian, I can tell you how I dealt with you when you had your own share of dark cloud… Your mother and I stuck beside you and never gave up on you… we made it a must that you know that we love you…'

'...but I never starved or cut dad!'

'You did worse Christian… don't you remember all those time you made your mother cry her eyes out? Have you forgotten when we found cocaine in your room?'

'Dad I was holding it for a friend of mine…'

'I know… but you were drinking! And that is still a bad habit Christian! Sera is exactly like you… she is your carbon copy…

'…and that is what scares me… I bottled up all this anger, until Ana finally came and rocked my world…'

'Christian, starvation and cutting although they are dangerous and can kill her aren't the problem. I'm sure John explained this to you. Those are symptoms. The disease is how Sera feels about herself… how she feels about you and Ana… Don't give up on her Christian… it's the least thing she needs right now… you two giving up on her, and she won't have anything… it will crush her and push her to the limit.


Ana's POV

I remained with her while Grace made few stitches. At least she wasn't to feel any pain. She was so out of it. Few hours later, she woke up. Christian remained beside her while I decided to call John and tell him everything. After all he is her psychiatrist. When she woke up she looked a bit better. She looked calm and relieved. Christian looked as if his head was cut off again and sown back on… and I… I was terrified more than ever… the little things could simply trigger her to do anything reckless… and it scared me to the core.

Taking Grace and Carrick's advice, we still continued with the daily plan. We had to at least make her feel loved. She is loved… we both love her… I just wish she would talk to me rather than only her father… I feel left out… I feel abandoned by my own daughter. At around 3.30pm we all headed to the mall. She remained behind me, almost intimated by anything. Her eyes were darting to everywhere… She enclosed herself… I didn't realise it was to bring her such pressure being in a mall. Christian held her protectively from her shoulders while I tried encouraging her, in choosing something she likes… but she was in constant denial on what she likes. I finally helped her chose three outfits.

'Come on… go try it on honey…' I smiled at her while I handed her the dress and she went into the dressing room.


'What are we going to do?' I asked Christian as I sat beside him holding his hand while he squeezed mine.

'I don't know Ana… I truly don't…'

'We're not going to give up on her!' I insisted.

'Of course we're not Ana! You shouldn't even be thinking that… let alone say it…' He replied. 'What did my mother say?'

'She was lucky she didn't cut further down her wrist… she could have reached her artery… I don't understand… what triggered this? When she was at John's she didn't cut…'

'We triggered it Ana… We know everything… She doesn't have anything in her comfort zone… That is what triggered it…' He replied as our daughter exited the dressing room in a dress that was way too big for her.


'Mum?' She asked gently as she stood in front of us and I could feel Christian's face cringe in pain. I tried hiding my pain to her skeletal body. One of us had to try and not make a big deal out of things.

'Yes honey…' I smiled as I stood up beside her and guided her to the mirror.

'I think I need a bigger size…' She replied as she tried avoiding the mirror. I looked towards Christian. I didn't know what to answer. A size 0 was falling off her… and she couldn't see it…

'Peanut…' Christian started as he stood up and walked towards us. 'What do you see when you look into the mirror?'

'Dad!' She tried escaping the question while I held her strongly from her shoulders.

'No… Sera… please be honest with us… look in the mirror and tell us… what do you see?' He asked again as he rested himself to the edge of the wall.

She looked at the mirror slowly. I could see she was starting scratching her fingers uncontrollably. I placed my hand over hers and lifted up her face from her chin.

'Honey… we're not judging you… We love you… you know that right?' I told her gently.

'Mhmmm…' she simply replied as she looked towards the mirror. 'I… I see… myself all bloated… fat all over my body… huge thighs... humongous hips… chubby face…' She finally admitted. 'I'm just an ugly person putting this family down…' She said again as she let her head drop.

'Honey! You don't let us down! Never had and never will…'

'I have mum… Look at both of you… look at how both of you are afraid of doing a move… of doing anything… how I'm hurting you…'

'It's not your fault Sera' Christian insisted.

'Please… mum… can we go somewhere else?'

'Of course honey… where do you want to go?'

'…anywhere… but here…' She replied.


We decided to go to the countryside. We all loved to be in contact with nature. It was something we never missed out on. We remained there playing cards and Remy along with many other things. We talked and had light conversations where finally I could see my daughter's true smile creep on her face again.

At around 7pm we had to head back. She still hadn't eaten nothing nutritious except for the four smoothies Christian managed to get her to have. She had no other choice. They had to be injected. She was exhausted, but at least, I managed to see that my daughter could be happy… could for a moment be true… and not tormented by anything…

The only thought left circling in my mind was /'I just wish she would talk to me…'/


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