What are the dates like?What was their most romantic date? Who usually cooks? Who remembers the important stuff? What movies do they enjoy watching most? Do they enjoy going camping together? Thoughts on PDA(Public Displays of Affection)? How does [Shin] spend if time when [Sena] isn't there?
1.
It was one of those perfect early summer days: sunny but not too hot, breezy but not too windy, and a great afternoon filled with the company of one of his favorite people. Which of course made Sena even more nervous because he was about to have an actual date, the first one he's ever been on, with the first boyfriend (significant other, period) he'd ever had, and it was a friggin' amusement park. How did he think this was a good idea? He wasn't the pink-haired girl in a manga! Shin wasn't the blue-hair unattainably cool protagonist. Well, other than the blue-hair part, he actually was.
Crap.
Sena was about twenty minutes early and pretty much twitching with anxiety. Why did he think this was a good idea? Okay, the first couple options Riku came up with had been so much worse, but they could've kept brainstorming. Riku was a lot smarter than Sena; he would've come up with something if Sena had waited a little bit longer. And then Sena saw him, and his breath kinda caught in his throat. Since he'd been back, Sena had really only seen Shin in training clothes, things he'd seen Shin wear a thousand times, and while appealing in their own right, was very much an "on field" sort of thing. Shin never broke concentration while "on field" and it made… well, any sort of philandering feel like philandering and pretty much unwelcome. (He would still catch himself staring a little too long, because, holy crap, he was only human and Shin was friggin' really, really good-looking.) He'd almost forgotten what Shin looked like in everyday clothes and it was a shame, but now… how did his American friends put it? Ah, yes.
Hot damn.
Sena gulped painfully and raised a hand to wave. Shin caught sight of him, and all 6'2" of his- amazingly, how the crap did this happen- boyfriend headed his way. The plain white-tee was stretched almost too tightly over broad shoulders and a chest that should probably be illegal for Sena's sanity. The usual long-sleeve undershirt had been forgotten and, no, wait, those arms should be illegal. And had he ever seen Shin in jeans? Acid washed jeans that clung to stupidly powerful looking thighs?! Everything, from the head to his toes, should come with a glaring, flashing, neon warning label. Sena was a runner, a great runner, and he'd bulked up a little, but he wanted to weep because he'd never look that good, but also felt like crying because Shin looked that good. Sena glanced down at his brown corduroys and blue-tee with the dark blue Grand Canyon West printed across his chest. It fitted well enough, but it was definitely baggier on him and made him look thinner than he was. It was one of his favorite shirts, because the Grand Canyon had actually been pretty amazing, and he'd wanted the comfort (and Suzuna had helpfully pointed out he looked good in that shade of blue).
Shin approached while Sena was still thinking longingly of at least his old Notre Dame shirt that showed off some of his shoulder-width and therefore didn't reduce him to looking sixteen again. It took a moment to see through his own crippling anxiety to notice… Shin kept rubbing his hands on his jeans. He knew for sure that Shin did not have nervous ticks, so… what was happening?
"Seijuuro?" Sena questioned haltingly. "Is… Are you all right?"
Shin frowned darkly and glared down at his legs. "Sakuraba made me wear these. He bought them, so I felt obligated, but they're uncomfortable. Also why are they stained on purpose? They were very expensive for being already ruined," Shin muttered, tugging ineffectually at the belt loops. "It was difficult to fit my wallet in the pockets."
Sena choked, trying desperately to hold it back, but it spilled out of him anyway. Bright, raucous, relieved laughter that had him doubling over with his fist over his mouth.
"I don't see what's so funny."
"It's you. You're nervous, just like me!" Sena said cheerfully.
Shin stared at him a moment before the frown lifted into something more affectionate (if you knew him, otherwise he looked sort of neutrally okay). "They are uncomfortable. And ridiculous. I am a little nervous, though. I don't… like being bad at things."
Guilty shock had the chuckles dying away. "Shin-san, I didn't- I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry."
"You were right," Shin replied easily, with a shake of his head. "I don't know how to date. I spend four months understanding… feelings, but I didn't look up what to do afterwards. It was negligent of me and I'm never negligent." He looked downright affronted and Sena couldn't help but smile.
Nervous hesitation gripped him for a moment, but he reached out and slipped his fingers into Shin's hand, the pads of his fingertips brushing his palm rather discreetly. Not that it mattered, because the second Shin felt the timid action, he instantly entwined their fingers. The first time they'd held hands, Shin had been very serious about it, explaining to him that romantic partners needed to hold hands just so to be most effectively intimate. It was embarrassingly perfectly Shin.
"It's all right not to know everything. We're in this together and both just getting started, right? We have no idea if we're bad at dates yet," Sena assured easily.
"The burger dinner didn't go over well," Shin pointed out bluntly. Sena winced.
"I didn't think that one through. Come on, let's give this a good shot," Sena encouraged, tugging Shin's hand lightly. Shin followed readily, dark eyes darting around the park as his pensive, default frown returned.
"It seems that mostly children are here," Shin observed in confusion. Sena blushed brightly.
"I might not've thought this one through either," Sena admitted. "But if we don't like it we can go to your dorm, watch one of your sports' documentaries, until it's time to eat lunch together."
"I like that," Shin agreed with a surprisingly gentle squeeze of his hand around Sena's. Sena glanced back, and the surprise must've shown. "It was in the book. 'When wanting to show affection, clasp your significant other's hand with a brief, discernible pressure'. I had to make Sakuraba practice with me. Apparently I applied too much discernible pressure several times," Shin told him shamelessly and slightly perplexed over the remembrance. Poor Sakuraba, Sena thought with too much amusement for true sympathy.
"It was great," Sena murmured, returning the gesture. That fleeting smile crossed Shin's face and his shoulders suddenly seemed to slump, as if tension had left them in a rush. He's trying so hard, Sena realized, coming to an abrupt stop.
"Sena?"
"Please, just wait." He glanced around quickly before tugging Shin over behind a snack stand that either hadn't opened yet or had gone out of business, but the windows were closed and no one was around. They rounded the corner and Sena turned to face Shin's once again baffled expression.
"Sena, what's happening?"
Without a word, Sena reached up and cupped the back of Shin's neck. He was too tall, so he had to wait until Shin caught on- a.k.a. noticed the increasing pressure of Sena's hand- and bent down. As soon as he was close enough, Sena rocked up onto his toes and instigated a kiss for the very first time. He was probably blushing so hard his ears had the look of a very bad sunburn, but the immediate weight of Shin's arms around his waist and the simple, earnest way he kissed back made the mild embarrassment worth it. They didn't leave the shade of the unused vendor for a longer time than Sena had anticipated. Shin really seemed to appreciate being surprise-kiss-ambushed, which was a good thing because he really hadn't appreciated the roller coasters.
Even though they'd ended up with Shin almost vomiting all over a ten-year-old that didn't move out of the way fast enough and ending the date watching the history of rugby in Shin's dorm while his stomach settled, Sena couldn't call it a bust.
If anything, it would probably be the only time he ever saw Shin wearing jeans that made his butt look that good. And rugby was surprisingly interesting so hanging out at the dorm was nice. …But it might've just been Shin stretched out over his bed, head on Sena's lap while his stomach roiled and the younger boy ran his fingers through silky black hair soothingly that had made the documentary so enjoyable.
2.
The next date was Shin's turn. He'd very firmly insisted they try to take turns coming up with dates, instead of leaving the burden solely on Sena's shoulders.
… Sena and Riku's shoulders.
The fact that the amusement park had been such a bust might have been the major factor, though.
Sena wore a pair of old sports' shorts and navy-blue and gold Danskin tee- another US buy. It'd actually been part of his mandated uniform at Notre Dame. The only information Shin had given him was a location and to come dressed for amefuto. He really should've expected an amefuto date. Shin tended to revolve all his extracurricular thinking around it, after all. They both had aspirations for the NFL, both practice pretty much every single day or had games every other weekend (either their own or each other's), and Sena loved amefuto. But… he'd been kinda disappointed that Shin had been a little less imaginative than he'd hoped. Whatever, he loved playing amefuto with Shin, and it wasn't often they did solo practice together… wait, can you do solo practice with two people? Sena's pondering tangented off in confusion until his name shouted aloud pulled him out of it.
He turned towards Shin's voice and immediately felt bad for thinking so poorly of Shin's planning skills. Because nothing could've prepared him for the sight rushing towards him.
Shin. In blue and silver tracksuit. Jogging towards the empty field. A whistle bouncing on his impressive chest.
And a horde of children chasing him.
Sena stared dumbly, mouth slack and eyes wide, until the literal horde of children stopped moving, Sena and Shin the eye of the barely restrained storm. Many were still shoving and giggling and flushed from their run, however long it had been.
"Shin-san, kidnapping is a crime," Sena blurted.
The older kids burst up laughing while the younger ones- some so small they barely stood above Sena's knee level- blinked innocently and confused between the two.
Shin snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. "Really? Kobayakawa," he emphasized pointedly. Sena ducked his head awkwardly.
"He didn't kidnap us, Kobayakawa-sensei. He's our coach!" piped up the tallish boy with a couple teeth missing and buzzcut.
"Yeah! He coaches us all the time! Baseball and amefuto and basketball," listed off a sweet faced girl with a giant bruise around one eye.
"And swimming!" chirped a tiny boy whose fist was clutching the bottom of Shin's long track shorts.
"What?!" Sena yelped, bewildered brown eyes meeting Shin's.
"I volunteer at the community center about twice a week," Shin explained straightforwardly, as if he wasn't blowing Sena's mind.
"We're going to play freeze tag today. You said a date should be fun, and I thought this would be. I told the kids about how fast you run-" Shin tried to explain, but the children all began talking at once.
"Faster as lightning!" a gangly tall girl interrupted excitedly.
"No, fast as light," corrected a snotty sounding younger boy.
"Can you really run faster'n Shin-sensei?"
"Shin-sensei says you lived in 'Merica for months."
"Is you married to Shin-sensei?"
"Stupid, boys can't get married."
"But-"
The whistle blew so loudly Sena rocked back on his heels. All the children immediately stood at attention, tiny obedient servants to the whistle, and gazed up at Shin- Shin-sensei Sena couldn't help but think dopily- with expectant, solemn faces.
"Line up," Shin thundered. The kids giggled and ran into perfect lines on the field. They separated into what obviously seemed to be rehearsed places, each line a mix of ages and sizes to make them as even as possible. Each of the biggest kids held the hand of a smallest. Sena stared. "Green and blue teams, on-"
All together with Shin they screamed "One two THREE!" and ran into two larger groups.
"You're a child whisperer," Sena breathed out in amazed disbelief.
"I don't whisper. I shout," Shin disagreed with a sardonic lift of an eyebrow. Sena burst into laughter, holding himself up by leaning a hand on Shin's shoulder.
"I think this beats the amusement park. By a lot," Sena said when he finally got his laughter under control. Shin's face turned stony.
"Anything is better than the amusement park."
Sena laughed again and then jogged out towards the still- astonishingly- patiently waiting children. "So, who's gonna teach me how to play freeze tag? It's been so long I totally forgot how. What about you?" Sena asked, holding out a hand to one of the smallest kids he couldn't help but feel an affinity for.
"I'm too slow. You'll get out," the little girl protested sadly.
"I got an idea." He squatted down and held his hands behind him. "Hop on my back. You can lead me around like a chariot."
"Oooohhhh! Really?" she gasped, eyes glittering brightly. She scrambled on, the tall boy next to her helping her up. Sena got up, pretended to lose balance to make her and the kids around him shriek, then righted himself with his elbows locked around her knees. "I has a horsey who's faster'n lightning!" she shrieked giddily and tightened her arms around Sena's neck.
"All right, Shin-sensei! I'm ready. So is…?" he turned awkwardly to meet the little girl's eyes.
"Atsuko."
"So is Atsu-chan." She squealed and kicked at his ribs. He was gonna come out of this bruised, and he needed to think of a better excuse to tell friends than 'a little girl shorter than my knees beat me up'.
The whistle split the air. "Team Green?" Shin bellowed as he strode between them.
"Ready!" The team opposite Sena cried.
"Team Blue?" Shin met Sena's eyes and Sena could see the smile just barely hovering around his mouth.
"Ready!" Sena shouted with the kids.
The whistle blew again and Atsuko shrieked at him to run. He kept a normal pace, but whenever a kid almost touched him or Atsuko, he burst into lightspeed just to hear them scream and tear after them. Atsuko won a game of tag for the first time ever.
It had been almost painful to finally let her down, and not just because she'd cried and almost tore skin off with her jagged, bitten nails. As soon as she was set down, though, the kids jumped up and down begging Shin and Sena to race for them, desperate to see who was faster. Their astounded face shined with hero-worship when the two amefuto players skidded to a stop in front of them, just to be stampeded with gleeful whoops and cheers. Sena helped Shin round them all together and herd them back the short distance to the community center. He even waited, side-by-side with Shin, to wave all the children good-bye.
Atsuko forced her parents to wait long enough to clamber up Sena to demand a spine-crunching hug for a kid her size, smack his cheek with a grossly sticky child's kiss, and declare him her very best friend before running back to her amused parents.
"I have to change, if you don't mind waiting a little longer," Shin said, the question clear in his voice. Sena shook his head.
"No, I don't mind, but- uh… Can I ask something?"
The taller of the two stood in place and waited silently for Sena to continue. He scratched his cheek and stared at the ground.
"I wanted to thank you. I had a lot of fun today. It was… really nice. I've never seen you like that before," Sena mumbled shyly. Shin's frown was baffled, both eyebrows meeting his hairline.
"Seen me like what?"
Honestly, Sena didn't know how to describe it, not really. Just… the way he'd managed the kids, effortlessly and patiently. How he'd shouted and bellowed, but somehow never seemed intimidating or frightening. How he'd let kids climb over him like a jungle gym, giggling and unafraid, while he stood still, arms crossed, frown somehow… contented. How when two kids had smacked into each other too hard, he'd rushed to their sides radiating concern. When another kid scraped a knee, his big, Trident-Tackling hands had been gentle as they smoothed on a band-aid. When he scolded the big kids for taking advantage of the smaller ones, they'd been guilty and contrite for their actions, rather than terrified for themselves. While Shin had still been rather expressionless, nor had there been no belly laughs or grins, there had been something indulgent and kind about him. Sena had long since stopped seeing Shin as robotic, or even intimidating, it'd been even longer since he'd been scared of him, but there was still a part of him that remembered. And that tiny part of him had watched Shin with a soft amazement that had his heart pounding strangely and a surge of wow I really like him running in his head.
He couldn't help but selfishly wonder if Shin ever did the same. Look at him and be amazed and think the same words.
Pulling back to the present, Sena shrugged self-consciously. "You're different with those kids. It's like you're seconds away from smiling the whole time. I know we're both aiming for being professional ball players, and there's no way you wouldn't get drafted, I know you'll play in the NFL one day," Sena said adamantly, with every fiber of his being full of conviction. Shin's eyes widened slightly, looking surprised and then softening into something pleased. "But… what you were doing today? Coaching and playing with those kids? I think you'd be just as great doing this, too. If y-you w-were st-still thinking up a p-plan B or s-something," Sena broke off into horrified stammers. "I'm s-sorry if I overstepped. I sh-shouldn't-"
Shin stepped closer to Sena, looming over him, but somehow it didn't feel looming. There startling curve of his mouth and the gentle way he laid a hand on Sena's shoulder had the younger one relaxing in seconds.
"You didn't overstep. I do like volunteering. I did it because my college advisor told me they were looking for volunteers and it would… have a positive effect on any future career prospects whenever I send out a resume," Shin explained, dredging up the words from memory. "I never thought I'd like it as much as I do, or that it could be something I could make a career out of by itself."
"It's better than economics. You don't look half as interested in that as you do shouting to lift those knees higher, we're running, not shuffling, Tanaka," Sena mimicked, lowering his voice and frowning over-exaggeratedly. Shin actually scoffed humorously.
"He seems to think he can leave his feet completely on the ground and consider it running. He's a work in progress," Shin sighed lightly. Sena dropped his head, forehead leaning on Shin's chest, and laughed quietly. The heavy weight of Shin's arm wrapped around his back, and as terrified as he was someone might walk up and see him, he was too comfortable to pull away. Affection from Shin was a strange thing—few and far between, but so easily, heedlessly given. It never really mattered to Shin where they were, just, at the moment, it seemed right to him and he did it.
"Thank you, for sharing this with me," Sena whispered.
"It's not a secret. I wouldn't keep a secret from you, Sena. I just didn't think of it before now. I started volunteering just after you went to America," he murmured just as softly. Sena couldn't help but blush at the quiet promise.
"I won't keep secrets from you, either. I don't think I could. You'd just look at me and I'd spill my guts," Sena confessed with a chuckle.
"…because you're frightened by me?" he sounded honestly bewildered and maybe even hurt.
Sena jerked away, hands on Shin's arms and gaze earnest. "What! No! I haven't- not since my first year of high school! After our first game, before it was even over. I was intimidated a little longer, but not scared of you! I wanted your notice, and I wanted to work harder. I wanted your approval all the time until I realized I wanted-" Sena broke off, face beet red. "N-not scared. I j-just. You look at me and-" he dropped his face towards the ground and he was pretty sure his blush had traveled to his fingertips and toes by now. "S-Sorry, I c-can't explain it."
"I think I understand," Shin replied in a tone Sena had never heard from him. Sena shook minutely, unsure why or what was layered under Shin's words. "Sena, look at me."
Sena stiffened, but slowly, jerkily managed to lift up his face. Whatever was in Shin's voice was in his eyes, making them look darker and sharper. He was just so intense and whatever was happening now was no different. The involuntary swallow hurt, like swallowing around a rock.
He should've seen it coming. Moments like these, the long pregnant pauses with intense, unnamable emotion always ended like this. But it still felt new and daring, even more so being in the open. There was something much more heated in this kiss than the one from the park behind the vendor. The grip of Shin's hands on his waist, the twisted fabric of Shin's shirtsleeves in Sena's fists and the pulse beating in his ears and throat, wilder and uncontrolled somehow. When Shin slanted his mouth over Sena's, moving with an urgency that not even those first winter kisses had, Sena made a noise. A stupid, broken, needy kinda noise that made his cheeks burn, but Shin's hands convulse, tightening almost enough to make Sena squeak—which was pretty difficult to do these day,w ith his heightened pain tolerance. The other noise—that was new. This time the kiss went deeper, the startling damp heat of Shin's tongue over his lip, an echo of the first one until Sena's mouth parted Shin slipped past lips and teeth to slide along Sena's tongue. Just when Sena thought he might be able to get the hang of how to return it, how to chase the heady taste of the Knight's mouth, Shin tore away with a guttural sound that had Sena's toes curling. Why didn't he make a sound like that? Instead of the needy whine that escaped him a second time.
"I- my bag. I have to-"
The runningback blinked woozily up to Oujou ace's face, barely comprehending the flustered, pinkened features and blown pupils before he was gone. Sena wobbled a bit, mouth still tingly and damp and cold, and wondered what the hell just happened and did Shin just light speed away?
It took longer than it should have for the 4.2 second dash-runner to come back with a bag. The whole walk to the subway line, where'd they have to split up onto different lines, they walked close enough to bump shoulders but carefully didn't make eye contact. Though, they did repeatedly glance at the other's profile and turned away before the other could catch them at it.
3.
The door swung open with a cheerful jangle of a bell, but the tall, stony-faced man that entered only glared sullenly up at it. The much shorter not-quite-boy-not-quite-man entered at his side, hiding a smile behind the strap of his backpack. They'd put off coming here for almost two months after the idea had initially been put on the table. By Shin, who was still glaring, arms crossed so tightly over his chest Sena was surprised the shirt didn't burst seams and thread over his shoulders and back. The sale rep was a pleasant-faced, pretty girl in the usual cute outfit stores like these had.
Sena had learned a lot of things in America. Most had to do with football. Some involved the various classes he'd taken, namely the shit ton of English he'd somehow managed to cram into his school, poor English though it was. Some others were the many delicious, ridiculously fattening and cheesy American dishes they ate more often than vegetables. Also, no one does or loves breakfast quite as well, or as enthusiastically, as Americans.
The last things he'd learned were: he was very, very gay, he had a very biased preference, and being queer was complicated, messy, and totally up to the individual to identify. His timid forays into Notre Dame's GSA meetings had him pulled into the 'belly of the beast' and most of his English learning had come from the eagerly welcoming and kind attentions of the members of the GSA and, of course, the boisterous teenage boys he played football with. So he could look at the cute girl in her cute uniform and acknowledge 'she's cute' and move on.
The way she was eyeing up Shin's shoulders and arms, though, was probably eerily reminiscent of his own voyeurism. Maybe, just a little, in the darkest, vainest part of him, he couldn't help but think: 'yup, that's my boyfriend'. His self-proclaimed "queer-sponsor", as she jokingly called herself, in USA would be proud.
"Seijuuro, it'll be over before you know it. That last practice mobile lasted a whole two weeks. It's still in one piece… mostly…" Sena tried to reassure his boyfriend, who looked like a fish out of water and mad about it.
In that deeply buried terrible dark part of himself, he also loved every ridiculous imperfection Shin had. Just when he seemed too perfect, he puked on roller coasters and was scared of buying a cellphone. It balanced out, really.
"It was made of plastic and had buttons in the shape of ducks," Shin stated bluntly, eying the much fancier, duck-button-less mobiles laid out in the display case as they approached with dark suspicion. The utterly bewildered look on the girl's face was priceless.
"I promised we wouldn't leave until you were sure you were comfortable with the new phone and if you didn't like any, we'd leave. Calm down," Sena reminded him with an encouraging smile. Shin grunted, unimpressed.
"Good afternoon~" chirped the girl. She looked somewhere between third-year of high school and freshman in college and her clever brown eyes darted between them thoughtfully. "My name is Marin and I'll be your assistant today. How may I help you?"
"I need a phone," Shin retorted. Very unhelpfully and almost rudely. Sena had to look away to hide his wobbling smile.
"We have a lot of options, sir. Would you like to look at the latest models?" she asked, her bright smile becoming a little fixed.
"Does it have buttons? Not those pictures things on the screen. Buttons. That I can see," Shin asked, eyes narrowed and forearms tensing over his chest. Her gaze went blank for a second, focusing on the bulge of muscle, before she shook her head and re-applied her bright smile.
"I'm sorry, sir. Most of the current models have touch screens." Shin snorted. "However, we do have some older models, brand-new or used, and they're very good deals. Much cheaper."
"Cheaper was better, right?" Shin asked, turning to Sena. The shorter sports' ace nodded.
"Definitely. Maybe something that is… hard to break?" he suggested diplomatically, eyes darting to Marin's apologetically. Her eyes widened as her mouth parted into an understanding 'oh'.
"We have a few quite… hardy models, with buttons, and even protective cases. Would you be interested in looking over them?"
Shin hesitated, glanced at Sena to see his optimistic smile, then looked back to her and nodded once. Marin pressed her fingers to her lips to hide the genuine smile there, then professionally and amiably led him over to the cases. She left him there after a few minutes to come back for Sena, who was looking at the newer models with envy. He wanted a new one so bad, but his parents were already putting out so much money for college and allowance and his scholarship only covered so much.
"Excuse me, I think he needs your help. He looks a little lost," Marin whispered with a wink. Sena blushed when he realized that she realized that they were probably more than friends. "Has he never had a phone before?"
Sena shook his head. "Electronics tend to… fall apart when he touches them." She stared at him and he shrugged helplessly. "We're working on it. Having conversations through his dormmate's phone gets complicated."
"Oh, I'll bet. Especially if… he goes to Oujou, right? I saw the badge on his shirt," she queried politely as they walked back towards him.
"Yeah, and I'm Enma." She winced sympathetically. "Not being able to text or call each other directly isn't working well anymore."
"Oh, I'll bet," she agreed earnestly, in a way that had Sena's flush brightening.
They came up to Shin's side. His dark eyes took in Sena, shoulders relaxing at his arrival, but when Marin stepped up his shoulders tensed again. His eyes swept up and down her body, narrowing until he seemed to lay his gaze on the personalized nametag on her chest. His shoulders unknotted again. "Sena. Marin. I was looking at that one," he all but grumped, pointing at a heavy, blocky flipphone from about… ten years ago.
Marin quickly stepped up and discussed the finer points of the model, efficient and cheerful with zero showing of her personal opinion on the fossil he was trying to buy. Sena, however, was staring at Shin as an odd thought wormed its way into his mind. He'd seen Shin do that up-down look before, and while it should've seemed vulgar just then, it seemed perfunctory and ingenuous instead. Just like every other time he'd seen Shin do it. Every earlier instance, from not noticing Sakuraba's new look in high school (despite how drastic it'd been) to the startlingly easy way he'd pinpointed that Sena and Eyeshield 21 were one and the same, came glaring back. Shin hadn't looked at his face, or Sakuraba's. In fact, whenever Shin first approached, he never met Sena's eyes. They'd always traveled quickly and surely over Sena's body before meeting his eyes.
Wha… there's… that's not a… thing… is it?
"Sena?" Shin's voice broke through the epiphany, sounding as though it wasn't the first time he'd said it and slightly aggravated.
"S-Sorry, just I thought of s-something," Sena stuttered, feeling shell-shocked. Shin's aggravated frown immediately dropped as concern filtered in.
"Is something wrong?"
Sena quickly shook his head and dragged a smile onto his face. "No, of course not. Just my weird daydream tangents. You know how I get."
"Ah," Shin nodded. He gestured Sena towards the case. "I'm getting this one. She said it can't go online, but I don't need to do that. I can ask the librarian for help."
"Or me. Or Sakuraba-san. This is for emergencies and easy, simple communication. You can work up to better models if this one survives," Sena agreed. Shin nodded firmly, completely unabashed. He'd never really been embarrassed by his technological shortcomings, if he even saw it as such. Sena had seen him using encyclopedias for research. Paperbound books. He was completely and totally fine without it.
Marin packaged it quickly and efficiently, slowly going through the process for turning it on, keeping it charged, and other small tips for keeping it in good working order. She threw in a case for free and made sure to highlight and circle the phone number. Sena whipped out his phone and quickly saved the number himself.
"When it's finished charging tomorrow morning, get my number from Sakuraba-san," Sena told him as he slipped the phone back in his back pocket. "Thank you, Marin-san."
"It was my pleasure, Sena-sama, Shin-sama. I don't know your family name, sorry to be so forward," she explained to Sena with a shy smile. Sena shook his head.
"Most people don't use it. Sena is fine."
"Thank you, Marin. You were very patient with me," Shin admitted a moment later. His body language was much looser, too, hands hanging at his sides and frown not so severe.
"It was fun. I've never had a total newbie before! I've also never helped such a cute couple," she teased, voice dropping at the end as she gave them another secretive wink.
"W-We- th-that's… n-not c-cute," Sena stammered in embarrassed objection.
"General opinion from our friends says otherwise. Suzuna calls you cute at least three times during a single conversation, especially in accordance to our relationship," Shin argued nonplussed. Marin finally gave in and giggled, blushing at Shin's shamelessness, as Sena desperately pushed his oblivious boyfriend out the door.
"Come back any time!" Marin called after them, waving.
"I don't understand why you're upset."
"Not upset. Just embarrassed, a little?"
Shin stopped mid-stride in the middle of the sidewalk and twisted slightly to look down at Sena. "What." He said flatly, no question. Sena grimaced.
"Not- no, not of-" Sena flapped his hands between them. "It's just… hard for me. To do… coupley things in public, to just blurt it out like that."
"Why?" Shin persisted. Sena shrugged awkwardly.
"It's just hard. I don't like people staring at me. I think I was Eyeshield for so long, because I was scared of the attention as much as I didn't feel I'd earned the title yet. It's just something I do?" Sena struggled to explain, hands fidgeting.
Thankfully, Shin backed off, silently going over Sena's words. He crossed his arms over his chest, and Sena peered up at the motion, taking in the pensive scowl and tilted head. It took maybe an entire block, walking next to each other without words, but not exactly uncomfortable. In fact, it kinda helped Sena get his flustering under control when not under Shin's scrutiny. Shin's arms finally dropped to his sides as he exhaled roughly.
"You're still timid. Not as much as before, but more than I thought," he rationalized.
"It helped, going to America. I had to 'get out of my shell' while I was there," he airquoted around the words and Shin glanced over at him inquiringly. "Those are my friend, Emily's, words, not mine. Mamori-neechan also used the phrase in an email just before I came back." Understanding dawned and Shin nodded. "America doesn't do… polite conversations. You have to talk over each other and interrupt to be heard. I had to make myself be noticed because I was so much smaller than a lot of people at first, too. Even smaller than a lot of the girls," he added ruefully. "Even when I gained my last couple centimeters, Emily would pat my head and call me 'Speedy' or mouse. It had something to do with an old cartoon."
"Emily?"
Sena nodded, smiling fondly. "She was one of the best friends I made, actually. I was really good friends with my teammates, especially after they realized just because I'm small didn't mean I was a bad player. I had to… prove myself to them, but it wasn't too hard."
"Not surprising. You're one of the best players in the world. Didn't they see the World Cup?" Shin asked incredulously.
"A lot of them did, but I don't think they could believe until they saw it themselves. Emily didn't care about football."
"She wasn't a manager?"
Sena burst out laughing. "Not all girls are managers."
"Karin is a quarterback."
"Or quarterbacks. Emily was in a club I joined. She actually… she helped me a lot… with you. And how I felt about you," Sena muttered, blushing and scratching the back of his head. Shin bent a startled look down on him. "About liking guys, actually. That's kinda what the club was."
"You have feelings about other men?"
"No! Yes? Ugh, it's difficult to explain and we're walking along the sidewalk. Maybe we could sit somewhere? There's a coffee shop Mamori-neechan and Suzuna showed me ahead."
"Yes, we can sit. I want to understand more about what happened in America, and your friends. We talked about your team and your improvements, but I didn't realize you had other things to occupy your time other than studies," Shin admitted with a degree of intrigue in his voice Sena didn't think he'd have.
"Surprisingly, ever since I joined amefuto, I end up collecting groups of friends somehow. And most of them are bigger'n me," Sena grumbled, very put out. He bit his lip at the coffee shop coming into view. "When we go in… could you order something other than water?"
"But I only eat-"
"I know!" Sena quickly interrupted, putting a hand on Shin's arm and arresting his attention. His mouth was quivering in nerves, but he clenched his jaw and met Shin's confused gaze straight on. "Don't you ever just want to eat something because it tastes good? My teammates in America are just as-" he flapped his hand over Shin's everything- "and they still eat snacks and bad for them food occasionally. Some of them actually only eat junk food and look like you. But, sometimes you're just supposed to… enjoy something. Because it's good and you like it. Don't you have a favorite food?"
Shin stared at him, nonplussed. "I eat a lot of rice. And chicken."
Sena sighed roughly and dragged a hand through his hair. "Think about something you've eaten, not because it was healthy or nutritional or whatever. Just something good."
It actually looked like it hurt to think that hard and Sena felt himself go a little blue.
"Ice cream. It tasted sweet… like fruit almost. And it was yellow," Shin gradually, painfully recalled.
"… Seijuuro, how long ago was it?"
"I was eleven? Almost twelve."
Sena's jaw dropped to the ground.
"I started training, and joined the school soccer team then. Then, track and cross country for a short time. In middle school, amefuto was the most challenging, and I was able to develop my speed, stamina, and strength in ways I didn't feel the others could."
"And you stopped eating ice cream."
Shin nodded. "I asked my mother to make me nutritionally balanced meals that would optimize metabolism and growth. I refused to eat anything not on a nutritionist's specially recommended diet."
"I guess… I guess it's rude for me to try and change that. That's a pretty big deal, choosing something like that at eleven and sticking to it for so long. That's pretty impressive actually," Sena conceded, sweatdropping down his temple and shaking his head. "You're pretty amazing. I can learn to deal with you drinking water while I eat a snack, if you can deal with me eating unhealthy snack foods. It's only fair, right? I'm sorry."
"…why does it bother you?" Shin questioned curiously.
"Well, it's kinda awkward to eat alone when someone sitting with you isn't. I don't know, it just seems rude," Sena shrugged awkwardly. "And… I kinda feel bad eating something so bad for me when you work so hard to be healthy."
"It makes you feel bad and impolite."
"It's fine!" Sena exclaimed, waving his hands wildly and sweating a little more. "It's really fine, I promise. I'll get over it. You got a phone just because I asked you to. I don't want to change who you are for me, Shin-san. I like who you are, ice cream or no ice cream."
Shin nodded and pushed his way into the store. Sena followed in his wake, sighing self-deprecatingly. Way to be a total jerk, Kobayakawa. Shin led the way to the counter and frowned up at the menu.
"What do you normally order?" he asked abruptly. Sena jumped.
"U-uh, I normally share. With Mamori-neechan and Suzuna."
"… what do you share?"
"I guess, one of those parfait things. I liked the strawberry jam one. It's kinda big for one person," Sena answered haltingly.
"It is pretty big, but not for two big guys like you," said the very young teen boy behind the counter. It was one of the few times Sena truly felt 18, looking at the young high schooler with his big "work" smile.
"Uh, n-no, we're n-not-"
"Just that?" Shin interrupted, squinting at the display case of cakes.
"No. We share a couple different things. They almost always get a chocolate cheesecake, actually," Sena wrinkled his nose. "It's good, but I don't really like chocolate cheesecake. I wanted to try the green tea one, but it's Mamori-neechan's favorite dessert here. Since they don't have cream puffs," he joked, grinning. Shin blinked back incomprehensibly, then turned to the kid waiting and seemingly bouncing in place.
"The green tea one," Shin ordered.
Sena stared at the case, at the waiter, and then at Shin, who was pulling out a wallet.
"Wh-What are you doing? I can't eat all of that, really! And you're not gonna eat any, lemme pay, Seijuuro," Sena all but zoomed to the counter, grabbing Shin's wrist.
"I'd like two waters with that. Water with cake is fine, right?" he addressed the waiter, completely ignoring the fish-mouthing, speechless Sena.
"Actually, with the green tea cheesecake and strawberry ice cream? Normally people order espresso… or Americano? Coffee, because it's a coffee shop," the boy pointed out hesitantly, eyes darting between the two of them.
"Water is fine. He's only drinking water. Shin-san," Sena hissed as soon as he found his voice again.
Shin met Sena's eyes straight on, deadpanned and blank-faced. "Two espressos with water."
"Tuh-whuh- You don't have to do this, Seijuuro."
"I'll try this, your way, and then we have a real meal for dinner tonight and I'm cooking," Shin responded as he handed over the yenn the boy was stammering for.
"I shouldn't have bothered you- wait… you cook your own food?" Sena derailed, eyes wide. The look on Shin's face was utter disappointment in him.
"Do you think I go back home every day so my mother can cook my food for me? I'm twenty-one and live half of Tokyo away. I don't have time for that. I learned how to cook my meals in high school when my mother went back to work," Shin informed him. He turned back to the cashier. "Thank you."
"Th-thank you," Sena echoed dumbly while the cashier blinked just as dumbly back. He automatically led Shin over to the table and cushiony sofas near the window he usually sat at with the girls. Watching Shin sink awkwardly into the floral pattern couch did the trick for knocking him out of his wordless shock. "I… I don't know a lot about you, do I?" He didn't mean to sound so small and… sad.
"You know more about me than most of my classmates," Shin said with a shrug. "I don't talk much about myself unless asked. Most people…"
"They ask about amefuto."
"Or if I'm dating anyone. There's a few people… I think one is a reporter? They ask it a lot," Shin added with a confused scowl. "When I told them last time I was dating you, I thought one died… she fell over and didn't move, but no one seemed to notice, so figure maybe not."
Sena choked on air.
"Why do you think you don't much about me?"
"I didn't know you cooked. Or that you volunteered at the community center. I've never met your parents, or asked what they do for a living,' Sena listed off, getting guiltier and more dejected as he went, wilting into the velvet blue couch he'd claimed. Shin leaned forward, breaking through Sena's melancholy.
"No one really knows those things. Sakuraba knows about the cooking because he's my roommate. He's only met my parents via his phone because I couldn't use my own. Something you helped me with today. I don't know those things about you, either. Amefuto, school, the kind of person you are, I know those things, and they're important," Shin stated firmly and sincerely. Sena couldn't help but smile in relief because Shin was right.
"Yeah. But we have all afternoon and a whole lot of ice cream to try and finish. I think we have enough time to ask those questions now," Sena suggested bashfully, a peace offering of sorts.
"I wouldn't mind that." His dark eyes roamed Sena's face with that same burning intensity Sena had become so used to. The creeping thought of earlier, from the phone store, slipped back in and he wondered… was that intensity… because…
"Can you see my face?" Sena whispered.
Shin froze, eyes widened and nostrils flaring. "Right now. I have perfect vision."
"What happens when you look away?" Sena questioned, his own eyes darting between Shin's, wondering… if he could possibly be right.
"I remember you have brown eyes. I know I… I like the way you smile and you always look… kind. When I first met you, I remembering thinking you seemed terrified. But I can't… I can't actually see it if I can't see you," Shin confessed, voice hoarse.
"Seijuuro-"
"Order up," chirped the same boy from the counter. Both Sena and Shin recoiled back into the sofas so quickly, startled like sneaking cats getting caught, that the waiter almost tipped the tray over. Only the two fastest amefuto players' lightning reflexes kept it from toppling. A few splashes of espresso dotted their saucers, and a strawberry or two rolled down the mountain of vanilla ice cream, but otherwise it was luckily fine.
There was a round of anxious apologies from Sena and the waiter- Ahiru- who almost shouted over each other, while Shin set the dishes on the table safely. Ahiru walked away flustered and bowing repeatedly through his apologies.
Silence descended like a cloud.
"Is it a problem." Shin grunted, rough and rasping.
"No, it explains a lot, though. I've never heard of that…"
"Prosopagnosia. It's prosopagnosia," Shin snapped. Sena jumped, unused to the bite in his voice. Shin sighed gruffly and ran his hand down his face.
"My mother used to have an important job in a bank. She loved it. Then, when I was a really young, I got lost. Because my mother took off her coat while I wasn't looking."
Sena's hands jerked in his lap, wanting to reach out, to do something, but Shin looked beyond reach. He'd thrown up heavy walls that Sena could feel from where he sat.
"She quit her career to help me. We didn't know what it was for years, I just learned to live around it. I notice ears, hair, body types and posture, body language. I can see those things. But the moment I look away from a face, I can't picture it in my mind."
"When did you…"
Shin closed his eyes, crossing his arms across his chest, the textbook picture of self-defensive posture rather than just his usual way of standing or punctuating some statement.
"After the World Cup. During my last semester of high school. I just thought… it was my fault. I just wasn't observant. I tried really hard to fix it, but it never completely worked. My mother returned to work soon after I was diagnosed."
Sena slid off his ridiculously cushioned sofa and scooted around the small table to sit next to Shin. He grabbed a spoon, handed it to Shin, and then grabbed his own. "I like strawberry jam the best. I hate marmalade, though. My favorite food is black noodles, which Suzuna thought wasn't far in high school."
Shin blinked, features frozen, before they fell into relaxed, softened lines of gratitude.
"I think my favorite food was that yellow ice cream, but I can't remember what it was for sure. My mother works in a bank. I have no idea what she does. My father was born wealthy and has never worked a day in his life. He likes to paint."
"My dad's a lawyer. A tiny, no name, paper-pushing legal office, nothing flashy. My mom's a housewife. I have a cat named Pitt back home."
"I met them. I remember the cat. She was black and white."
Sena's eyes widened. "I forgot! At the Christmas Bowl. My mom and dad mentioned- oh. That makes sense now…" Sena breathed. Shin's eyebrow rose and Sena's ears burned red. "My dad made a comment about me liking them tall and my mom said it was a shame me 'n Suzuna wouldn't work out. I was so worn out… I just couldn't be bothered to ask."
"I might have had a long discussion about your influence on my own training, and how much I'd enjoyed seeing you improve…"
Sena snorted as he finally dug his spoon into the strawberry-covered frozen treat. "You sounded like a proud boyfriend in front of my parents and they figured it out before either of us." He gulped down his first bite with relish. Strawberry-anything really was his favorite.
"I should meet them again," Shin said decisively as he scooped a small bit of ice cream and strawberries. "This time I think it's appropriate to bring a gift."
"You… you want to?"
"Of course. We're supposed to, aren't we?" Shin hesitantly tasted his tiny serving, chewing the strawberries thoughtfully. The spoon hovered in midair for a long second as Shin stared at the ice cream. "I like this strawberry syrup topping.
"It's basically pure sugar. Of course you do. Come on, eat a few more bites and you're duty will be done," Sena teased. He took a heaping mouthful of green tea cheesecake and sighed happily. "I knew I'd like this," he almost moaned before going for more. Shin tried it, and made the most hilariously offended noise Sena almost fell out of the sofa laughing.
"I do not like that. It really tastes like green tea, but worse."
"What do you mean worse?" Sena gasped, wiping at his streaming eyes.
"I don't like green tea in its traditional form. I just assumed all that sugar would make it palatable. That's sugar's job, isn't it?" Shin demanded with a special kind of fury.
"Wha-what kind of J-Japanese man d-doesn't like green tea?" It was the laughter tripping up his tongue rather than his usual timidity.
"This one," Shin growled, eying the cheesecake like it had disparaged his running skills. He went back to the ice cream with a sulky glower on his face.
"All right then. No more green tea things for you. What about your color? What's your favorite color?"
Shin stared intently at Sena's face before lowering his spoon from his mouth, "Brown."
Sena felt the blood rush to his face. "Wh-wha-"
"I can almost remember what your eyes look like if I see the right shade of brown."
Sena shoveled the last of the cheesecake in his mouth, cheeks bulging around it, and stared at the pretty little plate it'd once sat on.
"And your favorite color?"
"I feel kinda lame in comparison, but red. Or maybe green. But I think red. Because… the Devil Bats. I feel taller, braver, wearing red, like I've put the eyeshield back on and I'm on the field again. Instead of in a test, or having an advisor meeting, or something… intimidating, you know?"
"You haven't worn red on our dates. It's blue again today," Shin pointed out scooping up a rather large bite of ice cream. Sena was too busy looking down at his shirt, one of many his mother had bought when he'd come back from America- almost 15 centimeters taller- with plans to move into his dorm.
"I don't think you're intimidating. Dates are hard, but you're not. Uh- har- di-difficult- that came out r-really b-bad," Sena squeaked. He hurriedly spooned ice cream into his mouth, and stilled, eying the very low mound of it left. Almost all the strawberry topping was gone…
He looked over at Shin, eyes wide. Only to grin around his spoon seeing Shin pinching the bridge of his nose, scowling in pain.
"What's wrong?" the runningback asked with a far too innocent look on his face.
"My head. It feels like I've been punched in the brain."
Sena burst into laughter, arms wrapping around his middle and head tilting back.
"It's not funny. I haven't had a headache in five years. I think the dessert made me sick."
"It's a brain freeze. You don't remember getting a brain freeze?"
"Brain matter doesn't freeze, Sena. Not on the account of a sugar and milk concoction that's already melting."
Sena only laughed harder. He tipped to the side, the side of his face pressing against Shin's shoulder. "I'm s-so glad you're you."
"Who else would I be?" Shin grumbled. He was eying the ice cream sulkily now, but more like it had personally betrayed him.
"Someone a lot less interesting."
Luckily the espresso "defrosted" him pretty quickly, and if it hadn't been a chemically-inducing-stimulant, Shin would have liked it. They finally got around to discussing Sena's friends in the GSA, sipping the water. Dinner in Sena's dorm consisted of Sena watching Shina actually cook instead of heating up pre-cooked meals.
They didn't bring up prosopagnosia again, but Sena couldn't help but notice every little cue and quirk in a new light.
4.
Sena had done a lot of research into prosopagnosia soon after, but there wasn't really anything he could do. Besides, maybe, not drastically changing his hair or fashion style. A few articles even warned against changing detergents and soaps, as some more sensually-aware and severe cases of prosopagnosia relied on scent as well. He didn't know just how bad Shin's diagnosis was, but he liked his hair and clothes and soaps, anyway, so it shouldn't be a big deal to stick with it. Not if it were for Shin.
Now, he had finally come up with a decent date only about a week after the coffee shop. Shin's dates were always better than his (nauseous on roller coasters- bust; made him distinctly uncomfortable several times, had an almost fight about compromising over diets, and accidentally prodded a deep, painful, childhood wound over a critical, unalterable neurological condition-huge bust), and Sena had wracked his brains for a date Shin could enjoy. Obviously something without food they'd have an almost argument over, not sitting in place doing something he wasn't sure Shin would even enjoy, nothing that involved too many electronics. Nothing that involved staring at a bunch of faces Shin couldn't keep up with (… that explained the lack of movies that were fast-paced or involved large casts…).
Finally, it hit him like a Devil Laser Bullet to the forehead. It was summer. Summer time meant the beach. The beach meant playing beach football or volleyball, swimming just off the beach, stealing glimpses of Shin in only swim trunks. Sometimes his imagination had involved sunglasses just to make it worse (better, so better).
So how in the world did this happen?
Sena sighed long-sufferingly under his armload of beach chairs and umbrellas, a giant beach bag swinging from the crook of his elbow. Monta was next him, lugging a cooler and small chargrill. Suzuna, of course, was up ahead finding the perfect place to lay out towels while Riku, Shin, and Sakuraba had gone off to set up a volleyball net. Somewhere.
This was supposed to be a date? How in the world did Suzuna manage to invite herself and everyone we know? Because, obviously, within the next hour, the hordes of Saikyoudai, Enma, Shuuei, and Takekura would be arriving. Agon and Hiruma had even promised fireworks—accompanied by evil cackles and smirks.
"Why are you being so max gloomy, Sena? It's the perfect day!" Monta exclaimed from his side.
"It is, isn't it," Sena agreed with his eyes roaming over white sand, crystal aqua-green surf, and the bright, shining sun overhead. The perfect day for his first good date and it got hi-jacked.
"He's still sulky because I 'ruined' his date plans. Everyone knows beaches aren't for dates, they're for parties. It was a good idea, but misguided. I fixed it," Suzuna advised sagely.
"She does that a lot to me, too," Monta muttered under his breath.
"I heard that. You know I'm always right when it comes to these things. So stop arguing and get that stuff over here. Before some family hogs it," Suzuna hastened them along, with her fists on her hips and her evil eye on a large family gathering coming from another direction. Monta and Sena exchanged rueful glances, and hurried their pace.
They had already set up umbrellas and pinned down the towels by the time the other three, joined by Musashi surprisingly, came back. Riku hurled the ball towards them, which Monta easily caught, barely even looking up from the small grill he was trying to set up without it accidentally getting bowled over by sand.
"C'mon, losers. You're taking forever," Riku mocked, throwing himself on Sena's back to tackle him to the ground.
"Wait, no, Riku, ack- I just fixed them!" Sena yelped, trying not to kick up sand or ruin the perfect layout of the towels.
"No way, li'l bro. We're going to race down by the water in, like, two seconds. I'm itching to get a good work out. Seibu hasn't had a good match all season."
"I'm not your brother. Fine, you wanna race?" Sena slipped out of Riku's chokehold and took off, spraying up sand. "Sorry, Suzuna!" he yelped, running backwards when she screeched in surprise and annoyance. Riku whooped and was already on his heels.
"Slackers!" Suzuna bellowed after them.
The two longtime friends were already out of earshot, twisting and cutting around each other, laughing when one or the other almost got tripped into the water.
"They act like five year olds. You'd think they'd work the shenanigans outta their systems living together, but no," Suzuna tsked, even though she was grinning.
"If you could use your skates, you'd be out there with 'em," Musashi pointed out dryly. Suzuna sighed wistfully.
"In a heartbeat."
"Well, I'm done with the grill. I think I'm gonna-"
"You're gonna leave me here alone?"
"Aaaww, Suzu!"
"I'll stay here and help finish whatever needs doing," Sakuraba offered. "These two can't stop staring. It's pitiful." He gestured to both Monta and Shin, who was, ineeded, staring after the two runningbacks with something very close to wistfulness. He glanced almost sheepishly back at them, making Sakuraba laugh.
"Thank you, Sakkuba-chan. We'll figure it out, the two of us. At least someone's a gentlemen," Suzuna conceded with a haughty little sniff. Musashi merely flopped down on the sand, pillowed his head on his hands, and closed his eyes.
"All right! Thanks!" Monta cried, throwing his fist in the air. Shin was already running across the sand. "Hey! Cheating MAX!"
Monta went barreling after them. He'd never be able to truly catch up, but they weren't truly racing either. There was a high-pitched shriek when Sena caught sight of the sandstorm train that was Shin and Riku doubled over laughing until Monta threw himself so violently into the white-haired safety, they splashed into the ocean with a flinch-worthy slap. By the time the foursome managed to drag their sandy, soaking wet, laughing butts back to the site, almost everyone else had shown up. Hot dogs and squid was grilling and someone had brought a stereo that boomed some loud rock number. It shifted over into German death metal, and Sena became pretty sure it was Hiruma's, because it reminded him of Hiruma's sense of humor.
Mamori and Suzuna were laying out watermelons on a large blue tarp while Kotarou was arguing for kicking them open instead of using the stick. Sena kinda wanted to see it happen, actually, until he imagined the watermelon being kicked right into Agon's face. And then, you know, death happening.
"Takami and Ootowara just got here. I'm going to go help bring the food they brought," Shin leaned down to murmur in Sena's ear. Which, really, other than yelling bloody murder, was the only way to hear over the screaming music and louder group. Sena twisted to look up, surprise on his face.
"There's more food?" Sena repeated. Shin shrugged.
"Have you seen Kurita, Gaou, and Ootowara eat by themselves?"
"Oh… right," Sena shuddered. He shivered again as a hand ran back his damp, sandy back before Shin walked away.
"Sena, stop staring at your boytoy's backside and help me!"
The runningback sighed, ignoring the blush, and dashed over to the call. A game of beach volleyball, violent and with a scarily competitive aura hovering around it since the main competitors were Gaou and Agon whom had never learned to get along, was underway within half the hour and Kotarou had managed to kick one watermelon while Mamori's back was turned. It ended up smashing one of the very expensive looking speakers connected to the stereo and he'd taken off down the beach while Hiruma had taken out one of his largest automatic machine guns. Even Akaba, who was sitting strumming his guitar on the beach, gave him up for lost. There was so much food there seemed to be a never ending line of new people coming with more, but it disappeared onto plates and into stomachs just as quickly. Kurita had somehow managed to take charge of the grill, with Suzuna running by every now and then to make sure he wasn't secretly taking extra for himself.
Sena stretched out over his blanket with a satisfied groan, finally managing to get out of gophering for his friends.
"Long day having fun, Kobayakawa?" Juumonji joked over a plate of beef kebabs.
"Long day of being Suzuna's mule," Sena corrected. The two old-time friends laughed and the scar-cheeked ex-delinquent handed over a couple of his meat sticks. "Thanks!"
"How's Enma?"
"The usual- busy and fun. I think our team is getting better every week."
"I saw the game last week. It was impressive. That guy was half your size. You never could've tackled him in Deimon days."
"Thanks," Sena scratched his cheek and glanced down modestly. "I learned a lot of really good tricks in US."
"And look at these guns. I never thought my little Sena would be so manly," Mamori teased as she sat next to him and squeezed his bicep. He was rather proud of his physique… when it wasn't being hidden under too baggy clothes.
"You're nothing like the first year I met back then," Juumonji agreed with a wry little smirk. Sena shrugged and smiled back.
"You're nothing like the delinquent bully I met back then. We've all changed a lot."
"Yes, I've heard Shin even has a cell phone number now," Mamori chimed in. Juumonji laughed outright.
"How do you know that?"
"Youichi might've found Oujou's updated phone tree," Mamori hedged, biting back a smile.
"Where, in Oujou's locker room?" Sena joked.
"I wouldn't be surprised," Juumonji replied, still laughing.
"I thought I might find you here, Kobayakawa-kun," interjected a quiet, but steady tone. Very unlike the trembling timid voice it'd been years ago.
"Yuki-san," Sena greeted with a grin.
"I brought that information you asked me about. I thought it might be a bad idea to bring to a beach, but I don't see you very often," Yukimitsu said apologetically. Sena got up quickly, startled.
"Oh, wow, that was fast. Thanks, really," Sena breathed, gingerly taking the thumbdrive Yukimitsu handed over.
"It was all very interesting. Once I got started, it was hard to stop. Which means, I'm afraid, there's a lot of extraneous research," the medical student confessed sheepishly.
"What's going on? What research?" Mizumachi asked and he flopped down, munching on a large chunk of what was left of the watermelons.
"It's a very intriguing condition-"
"It's something for class," Sena interrupted firmly, face stern and shutting down any more questions as he slipped the flashdrive into Suzuna's bag. He'd be able to get it back from her at Enma later. The ex-Deimon students gaped at Sena in shock while Mizumachi chewed silently for a second.
"Okay. I don't like homework anyway. Have you guys seen Kakei, yet? He promised to be here forever ago."
"I'm pretty sure he's playing volleyball with Yamato and…" Sena trailed off as they all turned towards the net. Sena felt chills even from this far away. Of course, Shin had finally gone over to play.
And somewhere along the way lost his shirt. Weep over or thank his fortune? Sena couldn't decide. He really really wanted to walk over there and touch all of that.
Mizumachi was obviously a dead man walking, because towards the warzone he went, spitting seeds nonchalantly. Juumonji and Yukimitsu started discussing some class they were both taking in their separate universities, and Mamori leaned over.
"How are you and Shin-san doing?" she whispered, one hand cupping the side of her mouth. Sena broke into a grin. "Oh, that good?" she gushed quietly, clapping her hands together.
"Yeah… it's rough sometimes, but then he says something and it's like, all the things I did to mess it up are suddenly gone. It's great."
"I'm happy for you, Sena-kun. I am sorry Suzuna took over your beach idea, but it ended up being such a success. It's not so bad, is it?" Mamori asked, slightly pleading.
"Yeah, it's not so bad. I'm surprised so many showed up, though. I think I even saw Karin-san and Honju-san earlier," Sena said.
"Yes, Taka-kun convinced her to come and bring a couple of her friends. There are so few girls in the group. I'm glad she did. Which reminds me, I better make sure they haven't been scared away. Karin-chan is used to it all, but it's overwhelming all at once like this," Mamori said with evident concern on her face.
"And if anyone could make them feel more at ease, it's you, Mamori-neechan."
She blushed in delight, stooped to give him a quick kiss on the cheek, and then patted his head. "You will always be my favorite, Sena-kun. Don't forget that we all love you, too. I know you're worried about what it means to be in a relationship, but you're in relationships with all of us,' Mamori told him gently. His eyes widened and the beginnings of guilt creeped up on him.
"Have I been… a bad friend?"
"Oh, no, of course not. But I think your anxiety over being a boyfriend is starting to affect the rest of your relationships. I just wanted to…" Mamori broke off and thoughtfully tapped her mouth. "I just want you to remember that you're a great person, and you shouldn't let what you think is wrong with you actually ruin what you have. With Shin or your friends."
"Oh, okay. I… I get it," Sena murmured with eyes downcast. Mamori swooped down to give him a quick hug.
"You're going to be fine. I know it. You've already come so far in believing in yourself. It'll get easier." Sena wrapped his arms around her shoulders, whispering thanks against the line of her collarbone. She stood back up and brushed off her knees. "However, I think you've done your duty today. When the fireworks start, maybe you can slip away and get that date you wanted," she suggested with a mischievous little wink. Sena sputtered and blushed brightly, but she was already turning away.
Sena leaned forward and wrapped his arms around his knees, watching Mamori go and smiling to himself. Suzuna had been right to force the group day. Like Mamori had just hinted, he'd been focusing so much on trying to make his one relationship with Shin work, that maybe he was beginning to neglect all these other relationships. He couldn't let his insecurities and worries over what it meant to be a boyfriend to mess everything up. He sighed and knocked his forehead against his knee, all too clearly remembering Shin's quiet question over the phone weeks and weeks ago: am I messing everything up? It hadn't been Shin. Shin was just being himself, the same person Sena had been stupidly crazy about for years. No, Sena had been the one messing it up, second-guessing himself and… in the process, second-guessing Shin. He could almost feel himself slipping into self-pity, but he firmed his jaw.
I might not be a great boyfriend, but I can be. I will be. And I won't let my worries ruin what I have with my friends, either. Seijuuro, Mamori-neechan, Riku-kun, Suzuna, Monta-kun… they all deserve better from me. I deserve better from me. I'm not that scared little first year and I haven't been in a long time.
Sena jumped in surprise as someone fell with a thud next to him. He couldn't help the widening of his eyes when he took in the lanky figure and wild blonde hair. And the machine gun resting on his shoulder.
"Hiruma-san," Sena greeted.
"I got tired of dealing with fucking morons," Hiruma explained apropos of nothing, then blew a lazy gum bubble.
"Am… Am I supposed to feel complimented?" Sena blurted in confusion. Hiruma scoffed a laugh and leaned back on his hands.
"You're still pretty stupid, but you're a hell of a lot more bearable than fucking dreads right now."
"I thought you two were friends?"
"Only when I want to get someone else bloody," Hiruma corrected nonchalantly. Sena sweatdropped, blue-faced and grimacing.
"You… you mean on the field…?"
"Sure, there too."
Sena burst into startled laughter and dropped his forehead to his knees.
"You should be out there running around. Isn't that what you fucking shrimps do?"
"Yeah, I'm just resting for a bit. Are you worried about me?" Sena gasped, head jerking up so fast he felt whiplash-dizzy.
"I thought I said I was sick of morons today?"
"R-right, sorry," Sena stammered, mostly to hide the grin growing on his face. Hiruma's eyebrow arched, but he didn't turn to actually look at Sena.
"You're about to be the next target if you don't get the hell out of my face, fucking shrimp. In 3, 2…"
"All right, all right, I'm going!" Sena exclaimed, scrambling to his feet. Behind him, the Kid took his spot and smirked under his hat.
"I hate that fucking smirk."
"I wasn't sayin' anything."
Sunset burned the world orange and pink and the giant crate of fireworks appeared out of the thin air. Everyone was crowding together on and around the towels, the emotions ranging from anxious to excited at the sheer amount of dangerous looking explosives in Agon's control. Hiruma, they were used to seeing with explosives. Agon was an unpredictable, violent guy without a box full of fireworks to help out.
"Maybe we should stand back some more?" Monta whispered to Sena nervously.
"Maybe a couple kilometers back," Sena muttered back. Monta snickered.
"I'm sure they're in complete control," Shin said from Sena's side. Both of the shorties yelped and jumped away, arms flailing.
"Is he a ninja?" Monta accused a little shrilly.
Shin raised an eyebrow, arms crossed. "You weren't paying attention."
"I think I might've had a tiny heart-attack," Sena muttered, hand pressed to his heart as he wheezed slightly. "Did you have a good game?" he asked when he got his heart beat back under control. Shin nodded.
"It's not as enjoyable as amefuto, but I'd been able to practice my Trident Tackle effectively."
Sena and Monta stared at him, mirror images of confusion.
"There's… no tackling in volleyball," Sena pointed out slowly. Shin huffed.
"There is with Gaou playing."
Sena and Monta sweated slightly. "Hey, I'm gonna go see if there's any drinks left. Did you want me to bring you one?" Monta offered after shaking his head briskly.
"Uh, no, I'm fine," Sena replied. Shin shook his head as well. Monta thumbed his nose with a grin and sauntered out, both hands in his back pockets. Sena exhaled and shoved his hands in his trunks' pockets. "It was fun, right? You had fun?"
"Yes, I did. I heard today was mostly your idea?"
"Ha, well, yes and no," Sena chuckled. "Suzuna took over and it became this. I was planning a date."
Shin blinked, startled, and met Sena's rueful gaze. "A date? This was supposed to be a date? With all these people?"
"No, I mean, I was planning a date, and Suzuna decided that a date on the beach wouldn't be as much fun as a party on the beach. She was right. This was a whole lot more fun than the ideas I had." Sena laughed quietly and scratched his cheek again.
"I would have liked it," the linebacker responded sincerely. Sena smiled gratefully.
"I know you would have. You're… no, I'm not gonna do the compare thing. Just… you go out of your way to enjoy whatever we do together, even if it's uncomfortable for you, or something you normally wouldn't. I made a big deal about us 'messing up' this dating thing, but… really I was the only one messing up, and I've been messing up. I wanted… I wanted to say I'm sorry. For, you know, throwing my insecurities on you like that," Sena quickly told Shin sheepish and apologetic. "Mamori-neechan and I talked and I realized she was right. I shouldn't be so hard on myself about this, because it's going to really hurt the people I care about, just as much as it's gonna hurt me. Whatever we do, and however we do it, it's the right way to do it. Right?" Sena winced a little at the obscurity of his question.
"If you're asking me if I agree you should be less worried about how you should act, then right. I don't like it when you're critical of yourself. There's no need to compare yourself to anyone, especially me, and consider yourself… less," Shin concurred in a resolute, inarguable tone. Sena swayed just close enough to bump their arms together.
"The ice cream wasn't a total bust, was it?" he teased shyly. Shin looked down at Sena's upturned face and- there Sena thought in satisfaction- his hint of a smile softened his stern features.
"No, it wasn't. It won't be happening again for another four months," he added. Sena flailed.
"What!? But it'll be winter by then!"
"It was too much of an indulgence. Maybe only twice a year."
"Ice cream only twice a year!" Sena burst into laughter. A sharp whistle cut off his laughter and had him stumbling back against Shin's side just before the crack-BOOM of the first firework went off. "I really need more warnings for things like this!"
"Do you not like them?"
"No, I do. They're fun," Sena said with a shake of his head. He blinked as an arm wrapped around his waist.
"I like them, too."
Sena let himself sag a little bit more against Shin's broader, taller frame and they turned their faces upwards to watch the show. If he ignored the shouts and wild mix of people around them, it was almost like that date Sena had wanted. Only better, because it'd begun with a day full of friends and ending with a free firework show. Definitely better than anything he could've cooked up alone. And you know what?
It wasn't that bad admitting it. He'd never liked being a loner, anyway.
5.
The last of college finals had ended just a week ago and it was officially summer vacation. Originally, Sena thought he'd be spending this time anxiously twitching away the hours waiting for his exam results, and final grades, to come in. It was the end of his first semester in college, after all. However, the day after he'd moved all his things back into his parents while the dorms closed, Shin had made plans. He really wasn't the kind of person to wait around for something he was already sure the results of (Sena was not sure of his grades, and he envied Shin his certainty). It hadn't been that hard to convince him to give it up and go on a day trip. Well, day and night trip.
Sena blushed at the thought but kept his pace steady. Shin was next to him, completely oblivious to the apprehension in Sena's mind.
A whole night with Shin. Completely alone. On Mount Fuji.
Because that was Shin's plan: hiking up Mt. Fuji to show Sena something he'd found his very first summer of training on the mountain. He'd come back every year since, running up and down the peak, breaking his records or finding new paths. (Or getting lost and having to fight wild boars, Sakuraba had confided.) Shin had been mysteriously silent on the subject of just what he wanted to show Sena, specifically, and even Sakuraba wasn't sure if he knew. Suzuna and Monta had made devious little smirks and kissy faces behind Shin's back, laughing silently when Shin had gotten concerned over Sena's flusters and flounders.
There's no way Seijuuro is using that kind of… of euphemism. He's too literal and… And.
And they hadn't done more than kiss. Shin's hands had never really touched below his neckline except to touch his waist a few times. He hadn't kissed anywhere but Sena's cheek or mouth. Never tried to press too close, never slid a sneaky hand past a hemline to search out bare skin. The only times Shin had ever taken any clothes off in front of Sena, it was a usually a shirt and in a completely innocent situation, like at the beach the weekend before.
Sena was stuck in a painful purgatory of: I want to ask my boyfriend about sex, but I DON'T want to ask my boyfriend about sex! It didn't help just yesterday, on a long overdue Skype with Emily from US, she'd suggested that maybe Shin might be a little ace. Which had created a new kind of purgatory of: is my boyfriend ace and how do I ask without sounding like a jerk or sex-crazed pervert?!
Worrying about how bad he is at dates was actually easier than this. Speaking about dates, he was about to ruin this one if he stuck himself inside his head all day. The runningback shook his head, hard, and refocused on the situation at hand. Which was jogging, not really running, up the side of Mt. Fuji while the heavy, humid air grew thinner. Like every other time he ran, though, not even the climate could keep him down. He picked up his pace to be more even with Shin- who'd pulled ahead by a pace or two, with his long legs eating up more ground naturally while Sena pondered nervously- and racked his mind for a topic.
"My parents want me to invite you to dinner," Sena pretty much vomited the words desperately. And then almost vomited for real, because he hadn't meant to say that.
"Good, when?" was the simple reply back.
Good? "Good?"
Shin looked over at him in confusion. "You didn't tell them to invite me?"
"No! I knew we talked about it, but I thought it was an eventual thing. We've barely been dating four months."
"You don't think I should meet your parents? I was given the impression four months is a long time for a relationship," Shin inquired with a deepening scowl. "A classmate used profanity when I mentioned the duration. He also insinuated I was insane."
"Really? Why?"
"…his personal preferences colored his opinion of mine. It's a non-issue."
Sena narrowed in eyes in confusion.
"Is four months not a long time to you?" Shin asked after a subtle clearing of his throat.
"No, I mean, yeah. It… it really is. It just went by so fast, I guess I just didn't really notice. We're both so busy, and live so far apart, so that doesn't exactly help. We don't get to see each other every day like some couples do. It'd probably feel like that if we did. See each other every day, I mean, it would feel like a lot longer time if I saw you more often," Sena tried to explain and talking himself into a circle.
"I understand. That…wasn't a complaint?"
"No, I like our relationship, even if I can't see you for a whole two weeks sometimes. At least you haven't broken your phone so we can talk more often."
"I could start coming back to run with you in the mornings again?" Shin offered attentively.
"Oh, no! I meant it when I told you you shouldn't do that anymore! It's time consuming and wastes your money taking the subway almost every day! Maybe we can take turns, once or twice a week, meeting up to run in the mornings, instead of you doing it alone every single day," Sena suggested contemplatively. Shin's tense face relaxed into a Shin-style smile.
"I would like that. I saw the wisdom in your argument, but I miss running with you. I also don't like the idea that maybe we're not spending enough time together."
Sena grinned. "We're spending all the time together we want to, and that's enough. More would be nice, too, but not if it puts a strain on either of us. And we're running now. Wanna race a little bit? My legs are about to take off without me," he joked.
As if Shin could imagine it, he barked a short, rough laugh that had Sena gaping. "Let's see if you can keep up. This isn't the gridiron," Shin taunted with a glimmer in his eye. Without warning, he darted ahead.
"Hey! Cheating!" Sena yelped, before exploding forward.
It was harder to run while going upwards and the air thinned, and while wearing shoes heavier than his usual cleats or sneakers. The hiking boots were also relatively new. He'd worn them a couple days in US, when he'd gone to the Grand Canyon to hike and sight-see with a group of football players, but they were still pretty new and awkwardly stiff because of it. He was fast enough, and his stamina high enough, that he was able to catch up to Shin after getting the hang of his stride, though. He was grinning as they wove around bushes and trees, meeting each other pace for pace. Sena actually had an extra step for every one of Shin's, just to keep up with the longer-legged stride, but he'd always been able to account for that. When they finally paused for a breather, the sun had mostly set on the other side of the mountain and the path had opened up into a clearing. Sena braked at the edge of the tall grass, bent over, hands on his knees, flushed and sweaty and gasping past his wide-mouthed grin. Shin was much in the same state and Sena felt that embarrassing curl of heat in his stomach that he'd been getting since the freeze-tag date and breathtaking kiss. That Shin hadn't repeated and Sena had been too shy to start.
His eyes took in the flush on Shin's cheeks, the sweat dripping down his jaw to the line of his throat, and Sena had to gulp down whatever noise was trying to force its way out. Just how much longer would his timidity win out over the want he couldn't ignore anymore?
"We have about an hour left to get there," Shin informed Sena, catapulting him out of his humiliatingly perverted thoughts. Only to have them crash back down when the taller man pulled up the bottom of his shirt to wipe at his face.
Absabsabsabs Sena mantra'd internally and feeling very dizzy.
"Y-yeah?" Sena squeaked, licking at his dry lips and turning away. Unlike the unself-conscious specimen of perfection next to him, Sena just rubbed his face against the shoulder of his Danskin Notre Dame shirt. It didn't work as well as cotton would, but it dried a whole lot faster.
"It's too high to sleep up there, though. We can camp out here and run the rest of the way in the morning," Shin said, striding into the shin-high grass. Sena ran a hand through his sweaty hair, mentally scolded himself, and then trudged through the path Shin made.
"Is this where you came with the Knights? Back in high school?"
"Not quite. We stayed more in the woods and didn't normally camp up here over night. We tried to return to the city every evening."
"Oh, right, the point was to go up and then go back down every day. That's crazy."
"My coach told me about the Death March. That wasn't exactly sane, either," Shin pointed out wryly. Sena laughed brokenly.
"It really wasn't. But I met Suzuna and Taki-san, and fixed my run," Sena said brightly.
"You learned how to do the Devil Bat Ghost because of that training," Shin nodded.
"Yeah, who knew a tiny rock could do so much!"
Shin stared at him uncomprehendingly.
"So, uh, where do we set up?"
The stare continued, just as perplexed. Sena sweated lightly.
"The tent? Sleeping bags?" he eyed Shin's pack. Shin had promised he'd have everything they would need, so Sena's pack was pretty empty, an extra change of clothes and some emergency supplies, plus plenty of water and the electronic GPS he refused to let Shin have. He might've gotten better with his ancient phone, but Sena knew Shin's limits technologically pretty well; the GPS was definitely beyond those limits.
"Why do we need a tent?" Shin asked. Sena chuckled cautiously, sure he wasn't serious.
"You're j-joking… no, no you're really not joking," he corrected when Shin shook his head. He slapped a hand over his face. "What about the bugs? Or, you know, the elements?" he exclaimed, arm wheeling through the air to gesture to everything.
"The forecast was clear skies. Bug bites are easy to ignore."
Sena was very close to old-man-face-deadpanning at that.
"Sleeping bags?" Sena sighed desperately and expecting a couple burlap sacks in answer.
Instead, Shin opened up his pack and pulled out a neatly rolled up sleeping bag. He shook it out, revealing it was actually pretty large and thick, comfortable looking and brand-new. It was a shiny dark red with a yellow cloth liner inside. He blinked in surprise.
"Oh, that's actually really nice. Is it for me? Because it's kinda big, you didn't have to get me a brand-new one," Sena told him, albeit with a relieved smile. Much better than a burlap sack.
"Of course it's too big for you. It's for us. The package said it fits two," Shin stated as he stomped down an area of grass and laid the bag out neatly.
Sena stiffened, face frozen, and a loud cracking sound echoed in his head. It fits two it fits two it fits two IT FITS TWO. "W-We're n-not even g-gonna talk, j-just… just like that?" Sena stuttered, shaking so hard his knees knocked. Shin frowned over at him in baffled concern.
"Talk about using a sleeping bag? I thought you wanted one. Do you prefer just sleeping on the grass? I don't mind it-"
"N-No, I m-mean about sharing the same sleeping bag!" Sena interjected squeakily. The frown just got more confounded.
"It seemed the most efficient method since you didn't have one."
Sena realized with blinding clarity that Shin was completely and totally guilelessly innocent of anything pervy or- or sexual at all. It hadn't even been a factor. It had been about ease and economy, about efficiency. And while just two seconds ago, he'd almost been out of his mind with nerves and something like terror with the idea that sex was suddenly on the horizon, now he was… disappointed? Frustrated? Upset? That his boyfriend, a twenty-one-old God-turned-human-level of hot guy, who kissed Sena breathless, didn't think of him sexually. The idea of sharing a sleeping bag had been completely… platonic.
Yeah, Sena probably wasn't ready to… to go all the way, but this weird place between not knowing if it were even on the table and knowing that he really wanted it on the table in the future was… it was painful. And Shin was just looking over at him looking worried and confused. The eighteen-year-old pulled himself together and pasted a wide, convincing smile on his face.
"Y-You're right. It makes a lot of sense. I'm glad you didn't spend too much money on me, too," Sena agreed brightly as he made his way, a little woodenly, towards Shin. His boyfriend's face instantly eased and Sena was honestly glad he'd white-lied. Shin didn't deserve to look so worried over something he couldn't help, and it wasn't even bad. It was kinda… sweet. No one likes the guy that only cares about sex, or springs surprise-consentless-guilt-trip sex on them in a remote location. Of course Shin wouldn't have done that to Sena. He settled on the ground next to Shin, who was rummaging in his bag again, and reached over. Shin lifted his head to gaze over at Sena, who had placed his hand on Shin's knee and squeezed affectionately. The dark-eyed gaze was one Sena had come to think as his- a subtle mix of pleased and fond on a face that would've looked blank to anyone else. Because no one else could see how soft and warm his features had become as Shin looked at Sena.
"I have some jerky, dried fruit, and granola, with extra raisins," Shin revealed his haul with a flourish, seemingly very proud about that last bit.
"Extra raisins?" Sena repeated, eyebrows rising.
"They're kinda sweet. I thought you'd like it," Shin explained, nudging the large bag over. Sena laughed.
"Yeah, it's great. I have some stuff, too. I made sure it was all healthy and Shin-approved."
"You do that," Shin said, frowning again as Sena dug into his supplies. Monta had snuck in a couple bananas. Under them, was a little baggy with Suzuna's handwriting and a smiley face- Just in case you two get frisky. Sena slapped the bag to the ground, cheeks flushing, and looked back to Shin.
"D-Do what?"
"Call me Shin. You still do that."
"Oh. Uh, habit? I still usually think of you as Shin. I've been practicing saying your name even if you're not there, to my friends or my parents, but it's… you were Shin-san for so long," Sena explained with a self-conscious little shrug. Shin nodded pensively. Taking it as his cue, the runningback went back for more rations.
Beside him, Shin shifted and suddenly they were sitting so close Sena could feel the heat of the linebacker's body, from knee to hip, and shoulders brushing. As he squeezed a bag of rice-and-seaweed crackers in his hand, Shin's arm settled just behind him, creating a long line of warmth right down his spine.
"D-Do you l-like mangoes?" Sena squeaked, careful not to move.
"I think so. I got dried apples and blueberries."
They continued on in a hushed conversation, sharing their food and sipping at electrolyte-enriched water. They found out that Shin did not like mangoes, he loved them. To the point the entire bag of dried mango was gone after Sena had had only one piece. He had a sneaking suspicion he knew what that yellow ice cream was. The entire time, Shin remained close enough to touch. Just as Sena was getting sleepy, and the twilight an inky-blue only broken by the small electric torch Sena had brought, the first one appeared.
It winked in front of him, and at first Sena thought he was seeing things. Then, one by one, they gathered. Blinking and wobbling over the grass around them, fireflies glowed. Sena mouth curved into a surprised 'oh', eyes wide and delighted. One little firefly wavered just in front of them in a lazy flight completely heedless of human interlopers.
"Wow! Is this why you brought me here?" Sena breathed in a startled rush.
"No, I thought you'd prefer this over the dirt in the woods. There are boars in there. I haven't seen a boar over here, though," Shin explained. "What are you talking about?"
"The fireflies, Seijuuro! They're amazing! I haven't seen so many in one place. Not this close to Tokyo!" Sena exclaimed.
"They're insects. Their bodies emit light due to a chemical reaction called bioluminescence-" Shin recited slowly with clear bewilderment. Sena rolled his eyes and clicked the torch off. He then grabbed Shin's shoulder and yanked him down. Shin grunted in surprise, staring up towards the sky, Sena laid out next to him. He glanced over, eyes slightly wider, as Sena grabbed his hand and grinned.
"Just wait a moment, ssshh," Sena whispered. They lay side by side, staring up and breathing almost in time, until, finally, Sena let out a small 'aha'. With them hiding now just below the height of the grass, the fireflies began to fly over them. Little winking lights in swaying, wobbling lines. "They're kinda like stars this way, right? Mamori-neechan showed me this once, a long time ago. There weren't as many then, either. Just look up at the sky and pretend that the fireflies are stars that you can reach out and touch."
Shin frowned in confusion, the facts and logic warring with Sena's softly-spoken awe. Until, finally, Shin could see it.
"When I came here that first year," Shin started, voice gentle and hushed, as if to avoid ruining the atmosphere around them. "I thought it was really good. I was able to become stronger and faster, and I kept thinking, 'when I face him on the field again, we'll both be improved. We'll meet each other for the Christmas Bowl and it'll be a battle worth fighting'."
"I thought so, too. Whenever I wasn't scared of dying on the March, anyway."
"It's better this way."
"Huh?" Sena turned on his side, eyes lingering over the strong, clean lines of Shin's face, lit up and shadowed beautifully under the flickering glow of the fireflies. Shin slowly turned his head to meet Sena's gaze.
"It's better with you here. I got stronger and faster, but I didn't learn to see something new. I saw insects emitting a chemical reaction. I didn't see stars, not without you."
Sena's heart thudded and stopped as his stomach swooped like on a roller coaster.
"Oh, I think I love you," Sena whispered. His eyes widened and he sat up, heart racing faster than his feet on the gridiron. "I d-d-d- I sh-shouldn't h-h-have-" With a stifled shriek, Sena was yanked back down, much like he'd done to Shin earlier, only he landed on Shin's chest.
"You're not scared of me, remember?" Shin murmured. Sena bit down on his tongue and nodded mutely. "Good."
Looking down at Shin's face, neither frowning nor smiling, just gazing steadily, unashamedly back, Sena wondered why it didn't hurt Shin hadn't said it in return. He could panic over bad dates and to-be-or-not-to-be sexual encounters (which sounded like a sci-fi Shakespeare porn…what was wrong with his brain?), but he didn't panic over this. Whatever Shin felt, whether it was just like or something like love, it didn't matter. Shin wouldn't be looking at Sena like that, wouldn't be lying here undaunted by Sena's thoughtless confession, if his feelings weren't just as important and special. Sena couldn't be scared of Shin, not even about this.
Sena braced his hands on Shin's chest and leaned down, tentatively brushing his lips over Shin's cheek, down the bridge of his nose.
"That's not how it works," Shin muttered, voice gravelly.
"Mhm," Sena agreed absently. He placed a tiny kiss to the side of Shin's mouth, but moved away when he felt Shin shift towards him. Instead, the next swipe of lips was up Shin's jaw, the faint scratch of stubble- too short and faint to even be seen- tickled his mouth and had him grinning. He didn't know Shin even had stubble. Shin's hands descended to his hips, and Sena wanted to melt into the touch.
Then vertigo had him gasping aloud in confusion. The world spun and Sena was flat on his back looking up into amused brown eyes.
"What was that for?" Sena wheezed, breathless by the sudden motion and the urge to laugh.
"You were too slow," Shin scowled.
Apparently he was too slow to ask what that meant, because he was cut off before he could try. Not that he was complaining. He slipped his arms around Shin's waist, eagerly returning every press of the taller man's lips. The build up to something more intimate didn't even take long, the thrust of Shin's tongue past parted lips startling Sena into gasping. He followed Shin's lead, feeling almost feverish and desperate, fingers digging into the curve of Shin's waist. Kissing like this always looked so gross and weird when he was a spectator—like at a movie—but being a participant was completely different. He didn't really care that his lips got damp and slippery, or what his tongue looked like when it slid along Shin's or thrust into his mouth. He didn't care about the weird almost slurping noises or the gasping, shallow breaths that sounded embarrassingly needy. Shin shifted above him, putting more weight on his knees so he could drag his hands up and down Sena's sides, the slick material of his sports' shirt bunching and catching against the roughness of Shin's palms. When it dragged up too high, and the firm caress of his hands met the bare skin of Sena's belly, a shudder worked its way down the teen's spine. His hands left Shin's torso and reached up to bury in that spiky, messy hair as he pulled himself up using his stomach muscles, barely realizing in conscious thought how he fought to get closer.
Shin broke away, and Sena let out a wordless protest even as his chest heaved to replace breaths he'd forgotten to take. It took Sena much too long to feel Shin shivering (…shaking?) against him, face buried in the crook of Sena's shoulder and neck. He nosed at the hinge of Shin's jaw and ran his fingers through black hair, fingers stroking where it was short and fine on the back of his neck.
"Seijuuro?" Sena murmured quietly.
"Just… just a second."
"We're not gonna stop already?" Sena objected, pulling far enough away to meet Shin's eyes—only he couldn't, because they were squeezed tightly shut. "Hey, you okay?"
"Y-Yeah, I… forgot to breathe," he definitely sounded breathless, voice tight and rough. Sena laughed and pressed a kiss to his neck, dragging his lips down the hot, smooth expanse of it.
"Me, too. I think we can practice breathing through our noses or something. You do wanna keep… practicing, right?" Sena asked haltingly, the uncertainty of his internal musings much earlier that day coming back to him.
"Yes," came the empathic, gravelly answer.
He could feel the rapid beating of Shin's heart where their chests pressed together, the slow expanding as he took a shuddering deep breath. One hand moved from under Sena's shirt, and he frowned, shivering hard in the wake of too-cool night air on his skin. It shouldn't feel that cold during the summer. It hadn't felt that cold. Distraction came in the form of Shin's hand cupping the back of his head. Sena readily let Shin guide him back into another mind-blurring kiss. The hand that remained under his shirt, just below his ribs, was rigid and unmoving, and Sena wondering if maybe Shin was unsure what to do with it. He wasn't exactly an expert (re: at all), but he knew what he wanted. He reached down to grasp Shin's wrist. It was strangely tense under his hand, tendons standing out under his fingers.
"'skay," Sena mumbled into Shin's mouth, sucking the linebacker's bottom lip into his mouth experimentally, cautiously, and deciding he loved the plush feel of it under the tentative press of his teeth.
He wanted to grin in triumph at the groan that sounded ripped from the depth of Shin's throat and the renewed fervor of his mouth. The ground thudded against his back, but no space separated their torso. Sena was pinned, covered, by Shin's heavier, taller body over his. He hummed appreciatively as Shin finally moved his hand, up his ribcage too firmly to be ticklish. His arms settled around Shin's neck, fingertips digging into the wings of his shoulder blades and his hips arched up unthinkingly. He only met air and he somehow managed to whine and growl in frustration, unsure what he was searching for. Lips broke apart and Sena gasped into the humid air as Shin slid his mouth down Sena's jaw with the same maddeningly slow pace his hand was making up and down his torso. Tilting his head back and to the side, neck baring to Shin's mouth, Sena gasped into the sleeping bag. The feel of damp lips and the edge of teeth had Sena quaking, one hand digging into the meat of Shin's shoulder harder while the other smoothed down Shin's chest. The tantalizing line of teeth against his throat abruptly became a blunt, startling pressure into the thin skin above his pulse point. The sharp wordless shout tore from him, and his chin tipped back farther, bowing his neck up into the suction of Shin's mouth. It was as if his mouth, his teeth and tongue, was connected to a burning pit low in Sena's belly. His feet scrambled over the slick cotton liner, fighting to get his legs… somewhere. Hands gripped his hips and gently pushed down, away, and Sena suddenly realized his eyes were wide open, staring at the night sky. He blinked rapidly to alleviate the itchy, too dry feeling.
With a low, throaty groan Shin rolled away, thumping onto his back as he threw his arm over his eyes. Sena slowly turned his head, breath still too quick and blood too hot just under his skin. The muscle in Shin's jaw pulled taut and his Adam's apple worked rapidly as he swallowed repeatedly.
"S-Seijuuro?" Vaguely, Sena could hear the slur of his voice, the lower register and vibrating purr of it that he'd never heard before. At the sound, Shin's hand by his side knotted into a white-knuckled fist.
"I need another moment." The statement shot like a bullet, almost furiously.
Sena's eyes widened as he paled. The heat that had been pooled so seductively in his belly cooled too fast.
"Did I do something wrong? Something bad?" Sena demanded, pushing himself up on his hands.
"No-" Shin dropped the arm off his face and turned his face just enough to look over at him. Whatever he'd been able to say caught in his throat, leaving his mouth parted and his eyes wider than usual as they darted over Sena's face until they stopped and stuck somewhere below Sena's chin. "No, Sena." It was hoarse, but adamant.
Sena felt the horror of his believed poor actions ebb away. Narrowing his eyes in confusion, he swept his gaze over Shin's face. There was still a light pink flush over his cheeks and ears- endearingly so- and his pupils were blown so wide his eyes glittered onyx… but maybe that was just the poor lighting. There was only the moon- and star-light edging the world in pale silver and it made the sharp planes of his face softer and beautiful, his lips shiny and flushed a dark pink. He was always frowning so much, Sena never noticed just how perfect his mouth looked until now. He'd noticed the smiles, but never really the shape of the lips.
"Is it… was the…" Sena looked away bashfully, unknowingly pouting. "It was the sound wasn't it? I made it weird."
He missed the flare of Shin's nostrils and the flattening of his mouth into a tight line. Though, if he had seen it, he might've considered it anger rather than what it was. "It wasn't weird. You did nothing wrong." Shin gritted back, barely managing to sound calmly reassuring.
"You're sure?" Sena queried, mouth twisting up to the side and nose scrunching slightly in disbelief.
"Yes, I'm sure." There was brooking no argument with that tone, and Sena's shoulders slumped with relief. When he opened his mouth again, Shin quickly added, "I don't want to clarify just now." Sena frowned, puzzled. "You did nothing wrong, and when it's a different time, I'll talk to you about it. Just… not now. Trust me."
Sena deflated with a wry smile. "I've never not trusted you. I guess I shouldn't start now. If you're sure I didn't…?" Shin shook his head and Sena shrugged. "All right. I thought we weren't keeping secrets, though?"
"It's not a secret. Not really. I'm just not willing to say it yet."
"That sounds kinda like a secret," Sena laughed. He moved to lay back down and froze, frowning again. "Is it okay to touch you?"
Shin's eyes slipped closed and he pinched the bridge of his nose. "Clarify yourself, please," he ordered tightly.
"Huh? Oh, no, not-" Sena gesticulated wildly, face beet-red. "I meant, if I lay down next to you, or put my head on your shoulder, or maybe, like, a kiss on the cheek or something! Nothing- uh, I get it, that you wanna- uh, stop?"
The linebacker huffed and sat up. "Yeah, that's fine. But we should probably sleep. Do you need to change clothes or take off that shirt? It's going to be hot in the sleeping bag and I already run hot without it," Shin warned. Sena bit his lip thinking as Shin glared at the sleeping bag with a sudden ferocity.
"I think I'll keep it on, less skin for the bugs. And I like sleeping with extra blankets anyway," Sena decided.
"Do… do you mind if I take mine off?" Shin asked through his teeth. Sena blinked.
"Yeah, of course. You just said you ran hot, right?"
With a short, single jerk of his chin for a nod, Shin grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head in a swift smooth motion. Absabsabs- déjà vu?
"We have to wake up early enough to see it," Shin said, ambiguously.
With a mouth so dry he could probably spit sand, Sena managed to work his mouth into words, "See it?"
"In the morning." Shin lay back down, one hand under his head and the other one beckoning.
Sena paused, eying Shin's face to make sure he wasn't 'secretly' actually mad, before curling up against Shin's side and laying his head in the perfect hollow below his collarbone. He sat back up again, grinning at the amused quirk of Shin's eyebrow, and placed a chaste, hasty kiss to the side of Shin's mouth. The older of the two cupped a broad hand around the back of Sena's head, where neck curved into skull, and pressed their lips together. It was still chaste, but it lingered… sweetly. There was no other way to describe it. Sweet, slow, and reassuring. They shared a soft sigh when Sena pulled away and brushed the tips of their noses together.
"You're going to wake me up ridiculously early, aren't you?" Sena breathed, eyes still closed and nose still nudging.
"I knew you weren't stupid."
Sena laughed brightly and slumped down to lay his head once more in the place seemingly made just for him to fit like a puzzle piece. Shin's arm wrapped around his upper back, hefting Sena further onto the wide expanse of his bare chest. Sena pressed his face to Shin's warm skin, uselessly trying to hide a grin the taller man could surely feel.
When he woke, Shin was no longer under him though the plush expanse of satiny cotton was still warm. The hand on his shoulder gave away Shin's current location before Sena started to worry.
"'s sdill dar'," Sena slurred, nuzzling his face further into the sleeping bag. It smelled like Shin. It was a really nice smell and he nuzzled a little more.
"It's supposed to be dark. It's about an hour from dawn."
"I hade 'oo," Sena groaned.
"I'm positive you said opposite a few hours ago."
Sena groaned louder and stuffed his face into the sleeping bag. Maybe if he smothered himself into unconsciousness Shin would take his protests seriously.
"I will carry you like a baby if you don't get up now," Shin threatened. One eye popped open and he glared poisonously up at Shin's dark silhouette.
"You will not. I will bite you. Until you bleed," Sena snarled waspishly. Shin reared away, clearly taken aback.
"…Do you know who I am?"
"Of course I know who are, Shin Seijuuro. I thought we decided I'm not stupid," Sena pushed himself up and rubbed at his face. He yawned, arms stretching over his head, and sluggishly blinked up at Shin. Then, slumped right back over, asleep between one blink and the next.
The tentative shaking of his shoulder woke him and he groaned. "Why dark?" he whined.
"…it's only been a second."
"A se'ond since wha?" Sena yawned as he sat up rubbing his eyes. He smiled dopily up at Shin. He looked… very concerned. "Izzit gon' rain?" Sena tipped his head too far back to look up, almost toppling backwards.
"No. It's time to go."
"Eh? Now? Wha time izzit?" Sena groaned, rubbing his face more firmly.
"…" Shin squinted at Sena's bleary face. "An hour before dawn."
"Ugh, I hate you."
"You said that…"
"Wha? No, I didn't! When?" Sena exclaimed in confusion.
Shin looked just as bewildered.
"You don't remember it at all, do you?" he said apropos of nothing.
"Remember what? Why are you looking at me like that? Are you going to tell me where we're going now?" Sena rattled off as he jerked his bag towards himself and grabbed his second set of clean sports' clothes.
"… I'll go wait for you to get dressed."
"Hey! What's with the Man of Mystery act?" Sena shouted at his back. He frowned while watching Shin shaking his head and rubbing at his face.
Shin led them on an easy jog, his weird non-answers and enigmatic questions put to the side. The air got even thinner and Sena was panting a little too hard to compensate. Even Shin's breath was a little more ragged, but he wasn't quite as bad as Sena. Thanks to his regular returns, he acclimated quickly and pulled ahead.
"C-Come on. I can barely see and it's harder to breathe. You could slow down a little bit," Sena muttered wearily under his breath. What was left of it.
He broke through the tree line to see Shin standing still and he guiltily blushed with shame. Shin hadn't been meant to hear that. But when Sena reached his side, Shin merely wrapped an arm around Sena's shoulder, rubbing his hand up and down the curve of it.
"This is it?" Sena asked curiously. He turned and blanched at the sheer dropoff in front of them. The height, and most likely the sea of trees below, was hidden in a dark grey fog that was slowly lightening as the sun begin to break over the horizon. Just before the fog dissipated, Sena's breath caught as he realized that they were facing east and just what he was about to witness.
Sunlight tore through the fog and shined like a beacon over the dark curve of the world. It lit the sky a breathtaking blue and rays of light golden and so brightly pale it seemed white. The clouds gilded gold and what was left of the fog shimmered like a veil over the shaggy-forested sides of Mount Fuji and still managed to blur the distant city. They were only two people in the entire world watching the sun shake off the night. He stepped to the side and pressed close to Shin without a word, wonder and awe on his face. He'd seen plenty of beautiful things, seen a dozen amazing sights across USA and Japan while playing amefuto. He hoped, though, they never stopped taking his breath away.
"I found this while alone. I don't even know if my coach, or any of my other Oujou teammates, ever saw it. When I thought about coming back this year, for my usual summer training, I remembered this and knew you would like it."
Sena glanced up with a soft, and probably utterly besotted, smile.
"Yeah, you were right. I guess I can wake up early to see it again someday."
"Only if you bring your own alarm," Shin deadpanned.
"What are you talking about?" Sena exclaimed.
+1
Six months.
Six months.
Six months.
Six whole months.
Sena stared at his phone, eyes wide and jaw somewhere around his ankles. No matter how long he stared, or how crossed his eyes got, the text didn't change.
[From: Seijuuro] Tomorrow we'll have been dating six months. Meet me at your parents' house, if possible.
First of all, what? Six months? How does Seijuuro remember this every friggin time?! And how come Sena always forgets?
Second of all, six months!?
Third of all, his parents' house? They'd already done the family dinner thing, a few times actually because Sena's parents adored Shin. Well, his mom did. His dad was still 50/50 on being terrified and being super impressed with everything Shin did. His own dad hero-worshipped his boyfriend, which was uncomfortable to think about too long, since that's how Sena's crush started…
Fourth of all, six months. Whoa.
"Riku-kun! I need your help!" Sena bellowed, racing into their dorm room.
Riku started in his chair, hands slamming on his computer keyboard. They were, of course, rooming again. Which Monta was bitterly pissed about. He hadn't been able to room with Kurita and was stuck with Taki. Monta was also absolutely baffled, to this day, how Riku had managed to trick him into giving up the fight. Sena was already planning on pitching an off-campus apartment deal once Monta could be in the same room with Riku without growling.
It might be a while because Taki was not improving his mood. At all.
"What the hell, Sena? I almost control-a-deleted this entire essay!" Riku exclaimed in outraged surprise.
"It's six months. It's been six months tomorrow. A whole half a year, and I forgot. And Seijuuro wants to meet at my parents'. Oh my god, is he going to propose?!" Sena shrieked, phone clattering to his feet as his hands went numb.
The meaning of the shrieking panic visibly processed behind Riku's cerulean eyes a few beats behind. They widened slightly in understanding before he deadpanned in disgust at Sena.
"Calm your tits."
"That's a really vulgar thing to say," Sena blurted, nose twisting up in distaste. Riku snorted.
"He's not going to propose. Last I heard you haven't even had sex yet-"
"He might be saving it until marriage! Or maybe even asexual!" Sena protested, wringing his hands. Riku actually looked startled for a second.
"Huh, he could be ace. At least a little," he murmured pensively. He shook his head, ivory hair falling over his eyes. "No, wait, not the point. Ace or not, he wouldn't propose in front of your parents without discussing it with you first."
Sena blinked, but couldn't logically refute that. Which meant Shin probably wasn't going to. "Okay, true. Oh thank god," Sena sighed gustily in relief and fell back against the wall behind him. Then sprang back up again. Riku sighed, saved his document, and turned to fully face his longtime friend, who, even with his panics and flailings, was a far better roommate than anyone else.
"Hit me. What's wrong. I still don't know why you come to me for advice on this crap, since I have no experience, but sure, go for it."
"I don't know what to give him. For a gift."
"Sex."
Sena almost whiplashed with how fast the answer came. He gaped at Riku, who merely shrugged.
"Guys always want sex. You always want sex. At the very least, put it on the table and see if he's ace or not and that's one less thing to wonder about. I know you've been agonizing over something and I'm guessing that's it?" Riku pointed out wisely.
Sena blushed and looked away, arms crossing over his chest. "I wasn't agonizing. Just a little concerned about it whenever I thought about it. I don't care if he's asexual or not, I just haven't figured out how to bring it up."
"There, I fixed that. Can I do my homework now?"
"It's not fixed!" Sena exclaimed, sweatdropping. Riku smirked. Flailings and panics at least had the benefit of being hilarious, especially when he poked at Sena to get the best reactions.
"Okay, fine, why not sex?"
"Because I wanna do something that means something special. S-Sex w-would be nice," Sena muttered, suddenly derailed and poking his index fingers together uncertainly. "B-but it's not the kind of special I want."
"Ugh, you want a thoughtful gift. You two are sickening. If you ever talk about that sunrise firefly camping trip shit again, I'll puke."
Sena rolled his eyes.
"What's something personal you think Shin would like? Something that's unique between the two of you, that he probably hasn't talked to about with anyone else?"
Sena frowned, concentrating as hard as possible. Riku wouldn't be surprised if steam started pouring out of his ears. Which shouldn't be cute, but on Sena definitely was. No wonder Shin looked at the slender runningback like he'd actually run up and brought back the moon (which, on Shin, looked awestruck and totally baffled at Sena's actions at the same time. Like Riku said, fucking sickening).
In a much shorter time than expected, Sena gasped and slammed fist into the opposing open palm.
"I got it! Thank you, Riku-kun!" Sena grinned. Riku shrugged, but looked faintly pleased.
"You would've- ack! Whaddyou doin'?" Riku yelped as Sena sped across the room and squeezed the air out of Riku, maybe even cracking his spine. His tanned skin burned pink along his nose and cheeks.
"You're the best. Do you have a good picture of me?"
Riku looked away edgily. "Why do you ask?"
"Do you or don't you?" Sena demanded, grabbing Riku's shoulders and forcing eye contact. Riku groaned under his breath.
"Yeah, yeah I do. I got loads of 'em. Most are from practice, or our games, though," he warned, though his voice sounded… off, as he turned back to his computer.
"Yeah, those'll work. Just show me whatcha got, I'll pick a couple."
"Uh… how about I do it? You have a shitty opinion of what you look like," Riku pointed out bluntly. Sena sweatdropped.
"I guess you're right."
"I'm a much better objective point of view. I'll pick out a couple good ones and-" he broke off and narrowed his eyes up at Sena who was still leaning over him. "You wanna give him a picture of you, don't you? That's so gross. He'll love it."
"Shuddup," Sena grumbled, making Riku outright guffaw. "That's not gonna be the only gift, okay? Just part of it."
"How big? Did you wanna give him a locket with both your initials engraved on it?" Riku gushed, batting his eyelashes and pursing his lips in an almost kissy-face. Sena slapped his hand over Riku's face.
"It's not gonna be a locket. Asshole," Sena tacked on for good measure, even though he blushed terribly as he said it. Riku laughed harder.
"I'll get a wallet-size of a couple. How about that? He can carry your stupid, pretty face around with him everywhere," Riku joked.
Sena whipped his head around and smirked. "You think I'm pretty~" he sang, poking at Riku's cheek closest to him. Riku slapped his hand away.
"Objectively pretty. For a boy. Boys shouldn't be pretty, stupid."
"You can't take it back, too late. You think I'm good-looking. You've never complimented me on my looks, Riku-kun. I think I'm gonna die of shock."
"I liked it better when I teased you. Get the hell outta my face and find your boyfriend his cutesy gift."
"Oh, right. I better hurry. I gotta ask my mom to help me."
"Wait, what?" Riku turned, but Sena was already gone, the proverbial dust still hovering in the air behind him. Seeing Sena gone, Riku clicked on a folder that required a password to unlock. "You're so fucking stupid."
The next day, Sena bounced on his heels just outside his family's home. He was wearing a simple black tee, one of Riku's that Riku had shoved at him while telling him to actually try and look nice for once. It had some weird European band stamped across the chest, but it did fit better than his usual stuff. He jiggled one leg, then the other, then checked his watch again. Which he'd been doing for twenty minutes, because he'd been twenty minutes early and too antsy to go inside and wait like a normal person.
Finally, he saw Seijuuro jogging around the corner. He had on simple black pants and a wine-red tee that looked like it came from a package of a half-dozen identical shirts, black long-sleeved undershirt in place. Definitely not proposing then, Sena thought with a barely held-back laugh.
"Did you wait long?" Seijuuro asked when he stopped in front of Sena.
"N-no, not really," Sena hedged with shifty eyes. "My mom didn't say you contacted her about this, were we not going inside?" Shin questioned. Seijuuro shook his head.
"It's a little ways from here, but it was the most obvious landmark I could think of. Do you mind running a little?"
"Of course not. I've been restless all day wondering what you were gonna do," Sena admitted with a laugh, hopping lightly in place. "I think I need it."
The fond expression on Seijuuro's face had Sena grinning.
Shin led the way, their pace easily in rhythm. He couldn't help but be pleased at that, even though it was true of every time they raced together. He still didn't know of anyone who could keep up with them, but it was more than that. It was the fact that despite their difference in limb-length and overall strength, Sena never looked winded at the end of a run. He never complained they ran too much or too far. Running was as natural to Sena as breathing and smiling. Though they had their stumbling blocks and their almost-arguments, Sena had never really made Shin feel… robotic. He never looked at Shin like he was inhuman.
Sometimes, though, the look in his eyes made Shin feel superhuman. As if just by that look, Sena could inspire him to be even better than his best. Maybe that's why, when the smaller boy had confessed his feelings last year, Shin had so easily slipped into the idea that his feelings could be the same. Had so readily wanted to kiss him, to see if that strange buoyant feeling in his chest whenever he was around Sena was possibly romantic rather than just an odd fluke of biology.
He'd never considered himself a romantic, not really. But apparently Sena brought it out in him and he didn't even know it until Sena blushed and stutteringly pointed it out.
Though this time, he definitely knew what this was and what he was doing. It was time to do it. Past time. Shin picked up his pace a tad without meaning to, but Sena merely doubled his next stride and matched him again effortlessly.
Shin felt the strange tumbling, swooping sensation in his sternum and let the muscles in his face pull up the corners of his lips. His smile was never the joyous beautiful one Sena had, that he always missed whenever Sena wasn't around to remind him what it looked like, and probably never would be, but he did smile. Much more often than he did before Sena entered his life—and not just romantically. Sena had brought out the expression on him far before they started this.
As they neared their destination, Shin slowed his pace until they were walking. Sena stared around them, eyes wide, and Shin couldn't help but stop and drink in those features. For the long, blissful moments he could look straight at him and see him again. His voice was nice, even looking at him from behind- with the lithe strong lines of his back and legs and glutes- was enjoyable. But he could remember those without Sena being in his presence. The shape of his eyes, the exact shade of brown, the line of his jaw and point of his chin, the curves of his mouth and cheeks—all elusive, ephemeral things he could only catch while Sena stood in front of him.
"Seijuuro, we're in the middle of the some random neighborhood. What's going on?" Sena was saying, puzzled and head tilted. Like a cat's (Shin wondered if he'd, in fact, picked it up from Pitt). The shape of his name on Sena's lips had Shin smiling even wider, enough that Sena noticed and grinned confusedly in response.
"This is where we first met."
Sena frowned, ever more bewildered, and looked around again, as if the Seisen Stadium would suddenly appear. Just as Shin opened his mouth to explain, Sena's eyes widened.
"Oh my god. It wasn't a dream?" Sena breathed out. Shin startled, feeling his eyes widen as well. He hadn't expected Sena to remember. But those big, beautiful eyes caught his and they knew. "I remember this road. When we were kids, I used to run here with Riku-kun."
"I… I didn't think you remembered."
"I didn't, I mean, I thought I didn't. I dreamed about it and thought I'd made it up. You have such an impact on my life and I just thought… my mind was playing tricks on me because of it."
It was flattering to hear that, of course, but it was more astonishing to realize he hadn't been the only one affected by a fleeting, seemingly random chance happening. In his mind's eye, he could see that morning unfolding. The two kids rushing up the hill, one with strangely bright white hair, the other a messy, spiky brown. Their faces, in their childish pudgy lines, were blurs, of course. But their voices weren't. Nor their names. The smaller, darker-haired boy calling out for his friend, the other encouraging and laughing at once for the smaller boy to hurry up. The sudden speed that had the younger Shin's eyes widening in surprise. Even more startling, the way the boy had moved so instinctively out of Shin's path before he could react, or even realized they'd been about to collide, however lightly. The child-Shin in Shin's mind's eye turned, and Shin turned with him, and saw the speed in legs just as short and thin as his had been.
"If I could run that fast, maybe I could have already given that man his coin," Shin murmured, hearing his younger, higher-pitched voice saying it.
Sena jerked around. "What? Coin?"
"That day, I never would've seen you if a man in front of me hadn't dropped his coin. I was desperate to give it to him, to prove I could help someone whose face I couldn't remember because it was the right thing to do," Shin explained tonelessly. Sena's features relaxed into soft, fond lines. "Then, you ran past and you were so fast. So small and thin and fast. That's what I thought then. If I could be faster, I could help people better. I could be better. A boy my mother wouldn't cry over when she thought I was asleep."
Sena gasped quietly and clasped his hands around Shin's uselessly hanging one. He couldn't look and see Sena's eyes and the emotions in them. Not when his own emotions weren't under his strict control.
"Seijuuro, your mother loves you. I saw it, I promise."
"I…" Shin broke off and looked away, eyes closing. He could feel the upcoming symptoms. The burning in his eyes, the tightness of his throat, the strange tickling in his nose. He didn't cry, though. Not since the first night he saw his mother, broken down over a cup of long-gone-cold tea, sobbing silently in the dark kitchen just a few weeks after she'd quit her dream job. He couldn't cry and make his mother's burdens worse.
"I know," he exhaled roughly. "I know she does. But she did. Cry. In the middle of the night. Alone." His words were choppy and broken. "Running… running was my way of being stronger for her. Of making her proud. So she wouldn't have to worry about me, or be scared for me. So much of what I am, who I am, is because of the little boy who ran past me and made me want to run, too."
His eyes flew open in shock as arms slammed around his waist, almost an actual tackle. Shin stumbled back a step, arms automatically coming up around the slighter, trembling figure that held him so tightly.
"I helped you then, and you helped me later. Me, too, Seijuuro. I am who I am today very much because of you. Facing you on that field, that first game we had against each other, that was the first time I ever felt like fighting. The first time I felt excitement. I used running to avoid pain, to run errands and escape bullies, but with you? It hurt so bad, but I had to prove to you, a total stranger, that I could do it, could make you look at me one day as an equal instead of something pathetic. You made me want to win."
He's too short, Shin thought with a ridiculous amount of affection. He braced himself accordingly and hefted Sena up off his feet. The runningback squawked in confusion, but Shin just pulled him back against his chest, arms still snug around his waist, and his face buried against that smooth expanse of pale neck where his pulse beat so quickly and strongly. The huff of breath tickled his hair before leanly muscled arms wrapped around his neck.
"I feel like a glorified teddy bear," Sena complained without actual annoyance. His cheek rested on the crown of Shin's head.
He didn't put Sena back on his feet until he could control himself once more. Until the waver in his voice was gone and the tightness in his chest loosened.
Sena was grinning easy and loving up at Shin when his feet touched the ground again. Smaller hands than his own stroked down his biceps, soothing and gentle.
"I love you."
The words hung between them as Sena's eyes widened impossibly large and shining. His lips parted but no breath released.
"You said it, before, but I didn't reply. I mean it, completely, right now. If you don't feel the same, if you-" the choking sensation returned, but Shin pushed past it. "If you said it without meaning to, or meaning it completely, it's okay. But I do. I love you."
"Don't be stupid," Sena blurted. His face burned red as Shin's lips twitched. "Of course I love you, too," he mumbled, looking away as his hands convulsed on Shin's arms. "But now your present beats mine. I really thought I'd found something special, but you saying that-" Sena huffed and shook his head.
"What gift?" Shin asked in confusion.
"It's our six month anniversary. I may have forgotten," he shifted guiltily, "but when you reminded me, of course I was gonna get a gift." He mumbled something under his breath, something that ended with… Riku's name? But he reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small envelope. Shin took it and slipped it open.
"I know it won't work work. That it isn't the same. But I thought, it might help? Even a little? At the very least, if anyone asks, you can just show them instead of trying to remembering something you can't," Sena explained quickly, shuffling his feet.
Shin moved his thumb and he could recognize the collarbones peeking out of the t-shirt and the lines of a familiar throat. He could see the lithe planes and muscles of a familiar body in a familiar crimson uniform. Even the spikes of unruly brown hair were his.
"They're you." Glimpses of brown eyes, the flash of teeth in a smile, fleeting but there for a crystal clear moment while he looked. "I'll have you even when you're not with me."
"Just a little bit," Sena agreed, his hands wrapping around Shin's. "And at home, I cooked dinner. I got my mom to help me cook one of the recipes you gave her a few weeks ago. She said it's as perfect as it's gonna get. So… wanna come eat with me?"
Carefully, gingerly, Shin placed the pictures back in their envelope and slipped it into his back pocket. Just for a moment. They'll be put in his wallet, safe and protected, in just a minute. First, though.
He brought both hands to cup Sena's face and kissed him desperately, like he was the first drink of cool water at the end of a long game. The sweet sounds of surprise and pleasure had Shin's chest- no, his heart tumbling at this young man's feet. He didn't even realize he was whispering those three words against Sena's mouth between every hungry kiss, branding Sena's skin with his heart as well.
Amefuto had given Shin so much. Purpose, direction, friends.
But Sena had given him everything.
...
LONG A/N AHEAD, FEEL FREE TO IGNORE:
(a) Did you spot the moment Shin realized one sleeping bag was a bad idea? I about died laughing as I wrote, imagining what he was thinking.
- I hope you enjoyed all that sex chicken muahahahahahha At least, I hope you kept thinking it was gonna happen, because I did that on purpose.
(b) Mamori warns Sena about getting too wrapped up in insecurities and his relationship with Shin, but this chapter is SOLELY FOCUSED on dates. It was already detailed and long AF for a 5+1 format, even during that part, so while Sena does have problems IT'S NOT AS BAD AS THIS CHAPTER MAKES IT OUT TO BE. He is still very active with his friends and amefuto! She was just WARNING HIM AHEAD OF TIME because she saw it starting to happen (and honestly, his insecurity was more the problem).
(c) When I started this, Riku's maybe/maybe-not one-sided feelings were not implied. It just sorta happened there at the end and I CAN'T HELP IT. I had awesome 3some/polyamory idea for them and it sorta... bled into this chapter a little. I LOVE S/S/R. Not in a triangle-y sorta way, in a POLYAMORY WAY.
(d) Sexuality: First of my notes for this go-
Sena: Gay. So gay im crey lol
Shin: special fucking snowflake I love him- greysexual, demiromantic?, gender is NOT even a variable.
(e) Yes, the yellow ice cream was mango. And yes, Shin's favorite food is actually mangoes. He doesn't really know this though, and would probably always answer 'I eat a lot of rice' when asked. LOOOOOLLLL
(f) The scene with bitchy-woken-up Sena just sorta happened and I thought it was TOO FUCKING FUNNY, so yup. Sena's a dick if he gets woken up too early, but has NO IDEA.
(g) NAME DROOOPPPPP (EVERYONE in the managa was basically there, but I didn't mention EVERYONE because fuck that y'all)
(h) How do they spend time if the other is gone? Original answer in my notes: Doing they own shit. But then the community center thing, so I guess I did answer it, for Shin, so I added it.
(i) *weeps over Shin's last line* Fuck you, Shin. Why?
I can be succinct about nothing in my life. Honestly give me some feedback about Sena please? Or how I handled Shin's voice? I thought Shin's was really good (yes, in his mind he is Shin, not Seijuuro, LOL). While I was writing the rest, though, I kept thinking Sena was being a dick, then I proofread and I was like "no he's not? he's doing a pretty good job even with the insecurity... am I being TOO SENA to write this?"
