A/N: I wrote this, in this specific order, as a setup to the next chapter, so pay particular close attention to the end. muahahahahhaha Also, I don't work for the next two days and I'm going back to my old apartment that has INTERNET, so I'll be able to update as soon as I finish!
What do they hate most about each other?
Shin:
If asked, Shin would vehemently shut down any idea of changing Sena. Sena is Sena. There's no changing him 'for the better'. That's ridiculous. Inane and nonsensical. Sena may not be perfect, no human, no thing, is perfect. Even his timidity and his passivity are just facets of a multi-faceted personality. He didn't even truly hate them. It gave Sena a unique way of seeing the world, of interacting with the people around him. His passivity and timidity actually had helped put him on the gridiron in the first place, where he found so much more of himself buried underneath. His passivity also led to his empathy and his ability to see into others' motivations. His timidity led others to confide in him, to even look up to him for overcoming it and becoming strong and brave, like Chuubou who could relate and be inspired to do the same.
His flaws make him weaker, but they also make him stronger.
Though…
If pressed, perhaps Shin would have to admit he dislikes a particular… aspect. A certain flaw that constantly cracked and chipped at the foundation of Sena's character. Something Shin disliked because it weakened Sena without augmenting anything simultaneously; it gave no benefit, only took away.
His crippling insecurity in himself- even his own skills at times, though, thankfully, that was further and farther between. However, Shin had seen how the younger man's insecurity wreaked havoc on Sena's choices. His insecurity on his own opinions, on his impact on the lives of others (such as his friends' or younger amefuto players), his intelligence (so so often; Sena may not be the… brightest bulb, but he wasn't as stupid as he made himself out to be), his overall worth as a person. He took the blame for so much, took so many responsibilities on his shoulders, and only ever tried to live up to them. If he ever failed, or fell short, as humans are wont to do, the only one at fault would be himself. When Hiruma placed trust on him to win so many games despite being a novice, when he forced himself to survive the Death March without an actual clue as to what he was improving, it was on him. When they finally began to date and their failed outings strained the fledgling relationship, in the end, Sena blamed himself entirely, called himself the mess.
He couldn't even understand his own appeal to others. Shin didn't exactly notice those kinds of things- body language dealing with desire, flirtations, strange notes in his shoe lockers, or even stranger conversations behind school buildings with stammered non-questions- they all meant nothing to Shin. Thus, he never exactly noticed them happening to Sena. But his friends and classmates had. Jokes and whistles and warnings to watch 'his man' before he was 'stolen away', which only served to confused him more. A grown man cannot be 'stolen from him'. He did notice how Sena talked his looks down, calling himself small and skinny, or even plain. Being complimented on his looks, or the seeing the way Shin cherished and took such considerate care of his few photos, confounded and tongue-tied the runningback. Whenever Shin pulled away from certainsituations that had escalated too far, Sena immediately assumed he was the cause and was later terrified of repeating something he thought had been a mistake. He bit down on his lip hard enough to break skin once, convinced the noises he involuntarily made bothered Shin. He constantly asked permission to initiate contact, even just to hold Shin's hand, thinking that perhaps Shin had developed an aversion to Sena's touch. The last time they watched movies together, Sena had held himself so far away, Shin hadn't even been able to reach him when he'd extended his arm fully. Each time, Shin would have to argue Sena out of his mistaken assumptions.
It was exhausting and… painful.
If Shin could spend the rest of his life doing one thing, just the one and only thing, he'd spend it persuading Sena into believing his own worth. Shin would…
Shin would quit amefuto, if he had to.
…
He had faith in Sena, though. In Sena's friends and family and himself. He had faith that with all of them together, Sena would find that worth, completely and without question.
Shin just wished it wouldn't take so long.
Sena:
Dislikes?! About Shin?! Wh-wha- no way! Nothing! Crazy talk. Hate anything about Shin, that's impossible. Okay, so other people think Shin can be rather stern and-and… foreboding. (And he had, too, once upon a time.) But once you get to know him, he's just Shin. He's kind and helpful and honest. It makes his rare smiles, and rarer laughs, all that more special. It's like the first touchdown, or the last winning touchdown- exhilarating. Finding out the little things about him- like his love for mangoes, his wonderful way with children, the desperately sweet way he kisses, the look of betrayal when sugar 'doesn't do its job' right- they're like treasure painstakingly uncovered and just as awe-inspiring when stumbled across unintentionally.
He's strong, dedicated, kind, fast, honest, and good. Just such a good person.
But… well…
If… if pressed… there's maybe one thing… it's not terrible. Oh, no, there could be worse things. And maybe Shin's blunt, unmitigated honesty was rather tactless. Sure. And there are things he considered unessential and just… didn't want to understand. But... whatever. No one's perfect. No one can be perfect. Those things aren't all that bad, and Sena's come to kinda… appreciate them. His holds-nothing-back honesty was something Sena had come to depend on. Those few things Shin refused to care about, well, Sena could do that for him and it felt kinda nice being that person for Shin, for being useful and necessary for silly things like cell phones and cameras and whether or not someone looked superficially different or attractive.
But… that one thing… it wasn't terrible, but it was something Sena couldn't understand and couldn't totally agree with.
That hyper-narrow-focus on football. Not playing it, or training for it, that would make Sena a hypocrite. No, the… the way that Shin could respect someone, excuse behaviors or comments, even completely ignore those things, if that person could play well and made a good, powerful addition to a team, though not a necessarily good comrade to the team. Just because they could be trusted not to drop a ball, or to make a touchdown by the skin of their teeth in the last second of the last quarter… that doesn't mean they should be trusted in general.
If Sena can't trust someone off the field, to do what's right and to support the team above their own petty, selfish goals, Sena could never play on the team with that person. He did it once. He would never do it again.
But Shin? Shin would. Shin doesn't see people as good or bad people, he sees them as good or bad players. Off field, Shin mostly doesn't care what they do or what they say, as long as it doesn't interfere with the rules and regulations of tournaments or games. He would forgive a lot, because, really, there'd be nothing to forgive. Because it has nothing to do with them as a player.
And that? Sena could never agree with that…
Maybe… maybe the more Shin spends off field, getting to know people, learning the differences of character, instead of basing his observations on skills and abilities alone, once he's gotten better at that, maybe he'll start to see people as people, instead of people vs players. Maybe he'll begin to understand that those sorts of distinctions are important.
But, well, it's not exactly an issue right now, so Sena will focus on the good things. He'll help whenever Shin asks for it, and support and encourage and cheer Shin on, because that's what he honestly loves to do. Sena doesn't want to change who Shin is. But it would be kind of nice to see Shin notice more of the world than just what is on the gridiron.