Chapter 5
Sian Pov
I don't know how long we've been sitting on the bench for, his sobs have ceased but I can feel him still shaking slightly, I continue to hold him as it seems to comfort him, the suns gone down and its starting to get really dark, I can feel myself getting tired, I've been tired a lot since we got here as the time zones are mixed up, and I'm not sleeping great, plus I'm not great with sleeping in new places on my own, he sits up and I loosen my grip on him and move my hands so they're holding his, his eyes are red, bloodshot and look really sore, I reach up and wipe the remainder of his tears away, he leans into my hands and closes his eyes, its now I notice he looks exhausted, he doesn't look fit to drive us back into town.
"thank you for telling me, I know it was hard for you to relive that, I don't care how risky or dangerous it is to be with you, I'm in love with you and that's never going to change" I reassure him, I peck his lips, normally he pulls me in to deepen it but he doesn't, I understand he doesn't mean it personally he's just tired and hurt.
"Why do you want me I'm not worth the risk" he chokes out, another tear slips from his eye and I reach up to gently brush it away with my thumb,
"because I love you, I know we just met but I'm incapable of leaving you, and sitting here right now seeing the pain in your eyes is tearing me to shreds because what hurts you hurts me" I tell him
He rubs his eyes and I can tell they are sore and itchy from the tears,
"don't rub baby you'll just make them sorer" I tell him as I reach into my purse that I keep with me for makeup touches, and also money and bank cards, and of course my phone, I pull out some wet wipes and gently rub underneath his eyes, cleaning away the salt from his tears.
"There, hopefully that will take away some of the irritation, are you going to be ok to drive" I ask him
"I don't know my vision keeps going blurry from the tears, I don't want to risk it, but I don't think we have a choice" he replies.
"how about we go back to the car sit in the back seat and cuddle for a bit and see if your eyes get any better with some rest" I ask him
He nods his head and stands up, I grab his hand and lace our fingers, he starts to rub his thumb along my skin and it feels soothing, we reach the car and he unlocks it, like a gentleman he opens my door for me then closes it behind me, he walks round the back and stops to open the boot, I wonder what he's doing, he closes the boot after only a few seconds the opens the door on the other side and climbs in beside me, I notice he has a blanket in his hand, he shuts the door and locks all the doors so we're safer, he unfolds the blanket and covers us both with it, its thick and woolly, it should keep us warm if it starts to get cold, I tuck my legs underneath me so I'm positioned on my side facing him, he does the same and we just stare at each other, I'm enjoying the soft shining of his eyes, they're a deep chocolate brown, and have the ability to melt my heart, as I stare into them I see them flood with love and some sadness.
"You always look so sad, it breaks my heart because its just more proof that you've experienced so much pain in the last few years" a tear slips from my eyes as I imagine what he's gone through.
"and the fact that you think you're not worth someone loving you, that's not true, you're worth every bit of my love, and I know that you're family is looking down on us now and they're probably agreeing with me, and I can see in your eyes that you blame yourself for their death when your wrong to, it wasn't your fault Tong and I also know that when you said you weren't worth my love you didn't just mean mine, you meant your families to didn't you" I ask him
He nods his head and looks away, I tilt his face back to me.
"hey, don't hide your feelings from me, you are worth both mine and your families love, you didn't know the type of man that Freddie Li was, it wasn't your fault" I tell him as more tears escape my eyes, he leans down and kisses them all away, then he buries his head in my neck and mutters "thank you"
"For what" I ask him
"not only did you tell me I'm worthy but you make me feel it to, you make this nightmare of a life worth living, I know my family would love you, and I know they're grateful to you for showing me the one thing I need, love" he also starts to cry again, I push the blanket onto the floor and move to straddle him, once I'm on his lap I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face in his neck, he pulls me close so our bodies are pressed together and I can feel him relaxing, after a few minutes I break the comfortable silence we've been in.
"Mmmmm, this is nice, I've never felt so safe in a man's arms before" I tell him truthfully.
I move my head and press it against his staring into his eyes once again, his hands move down my waist and rest on my bare thigh just below my skirt, it's now that I realise just how far up my skirt is, I look down to make sure my panties aren't showing, and to my horror, they are slightly, I reach down to pull my skirt in an attempt to cover myself, but since I'm on his lap my skirt can't go any further down, I start to get flustered and in my frustration a few tears escape my eyes, Tong looks down to see what I'm doing, when he realises why I'm flustered he cups my face and pulls my head up gently to face him.
"hey baby its ok, I didn't even notice, I would never touch you In a way that made you uncomfortable, I understand that you feel vulnerable having intimate parts of your body exposed and that's ok, do you want to lie back on the seat so you can cover yourself" he offers, but his reassuring words have soothed me and I shake my head telling him no, I can see he's fighting the urge not to look, he loses the battle and his eyes flicker down, his stare is intense and it does make me a bit uncomfortable, without saying a word I hold my skirt down as best I can and slip off his knee back onto the seat, I pull my skirt all the way back down into place and he reaches for the blanket that's still on the floor, he holds it up and say's
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable by looking, its just your so beautiful and I couldn't resist, do you want the blanket back on" he apologises and offers me the blanket
"sure its nice and warm, and its not that you were looking that made me uncomfortable, it was just so intense, and I don't want to ruin what we have by moving too fast and rushing, I want to move slowly and savour every little moment and every little detail we have together, and this is the first I've ever dated before, this is my first, first date ever" I confess, hoping he'll get what I'm trying to tell him
"So you normally just sleep around then" he asks, my face falls as he hasn't got the hidden message, my real confession.
"No that's not it, what I meant is that I haven't been with men in any way, dating or….or" I can't bring myself to say it, but luckily he gets the picture now
"Sexually" he guesses, I nod my head showing he's right, he lifts my head up so I'm facing him
"So you're a virgin" he asks
"Yes" I whisper
"Hey there's no need to be ashamed, I'm actually kind of glad" he say's
"Why, why would you want someone so inexperienced" I ask him
"is that why you were scared to tell me, you thought I would end it because I want someone more experienced, sweetheart, the fact that no other man has had you except me makes me feel very proud, and I couldn't even tell, you seem to know what your doing by the way you kiss me, in the changing room you seemed so experienced, you took complete control and coaxed me out of my shell, I don't mind, your amazing no matter what, this doesn't change how I feel about you" he leans down and kisses me, he breaks away before it gets to heated and I give him a sad face, he chuckles
"I don't want to rush you, and when the time comes that you're ready I would be honoured to be your first, if you decide you want it to be me, if not then I'll be broken hearted because I love you, and the thought of another touching you angers me, but if it's what you wanted and he made you happier than me then I would let you go, just please break up with me first and don't be intimate with him while your with me, I don't think I could handle that" he confesses
"You're afraid I'll cheat on you" I ask shocked
He nods his head and I feel slightly angry that he would think that
"I don't want anyone else, tong I love you so much it hurts, and this is only our first date and I'm terrified of how its going to feel when our bond only grows, I saw my mum go through so many heartbreaks while I grew up that I didn't think happily ever after existed anymore, but now that I've met you I'm starting to be believe in it again, I only want you, please tong, trust me, kiss me" I plead with him, he hesitates and I pull his head down to mine
"Please, don't hold back, just kiss me and pour everything into it" I beg him
"Only if you promise to do the same" he answers
"I promise" I whisper back, and with that he crashes his lips to mine in a deep and passionate kiss it's the most passionate one we've had yet and it feels amazing, I feel him pouring every ounce of love into it and I do the same, I reach up and undo his tie throwing it on the floor, I hope and pray he's going to be ok with what I'm about to do, its not meant as sexual I just want to touch him, I start to unbutton his shirt and he lets me, when there's enough room I slip my hand inside his shirt and let my hand travel across and up his chest I stop when I reach his heart, I hold my hand there and slowly caress his skin with my fingertips, I can feel his heart racing and smile against his lips because its matching mine, I feel his hand rest on top of my dress where my heart is, and he starts to copy my movements with his fingers it doesn't feel the same as its through my dress and not on my skin, I reach behind and unzip my dress slightly so I'm able to move it down so I'm still covered intimately but the area where my heart is exposed, he know what I want and starts to caress my bare skin with his fingers, I shiver at his touch, after a few minutes we have to have to break apart because we need oxygen,
"I want you to be my first, but I also want you to be my only" I confess more of my feelings to him
"I know baby we'll go the pace you want to go ok, and that was amazing, I'm enjoying this" he lifts his hand up and places it over mine to show what he means.
"ditto" I say back and he smiles, I pull my hand out and pull my dress back up as its starting to fall down, he reaches behind me and zips it back up,
"Thanks" I say as he starts to button up his shirt, I can't help but gaze into his eyes, they're so shiny and amazing, oh speaking of
"How are your eyes" I ask him
"they're still a bit sore, my visions cleared now that the tears are gone, but I'm exhausted and slightly paranoid about driving when I can barely keep them open" he replies
"ok crazy thought, how about we just sleep here, its locked so we're safe, the blanket will keep us warm, and I'm not ready to watch you walk down the hotel corridor to go home, leaving me without you until I see you again" I blurt out the last bit and he smiles warmly at me.
"ok, I'm not ready to go home yet either, I'm not ready to spend even a few seconds away from you, so if you want to spend the night here then that's what's going to happen, are you ready to sleep it is pretty late"
"Yeah I'm definitely ready to sleep I'm exhausted, time zones are evil" I say in a playful grumpy voice and he chuckles
"Come here strawberry" he opens his arms and I all but dive head first into him snuggling into his chest
"I love that pet name, I've been thinking of one for me to call you and so far all I have is dragon, because of your tattoo, which I really like by the way" I tell him
"I kind of like dragon" he says
"Well in that case goodnight dragon" I test the name in a playful voice
"Goodnight, my beautiful strawberry" he answers back, and we both fall into a peaceful sleep.
I groggily open my eyes not ready to wake up yet, there's a loud ringing sound and I have no idea where its coming from, my question is soon answered when tong reaches in to his trousers pocket and pulls out his phone, he pushes a button and the ringing stops he must of set an alarm, he puts it back in his pocket and cuddles into me again, sleep claims us both once more.
Tong Pov
I'm woken up by the bright sun beaming through the window, I look down at Sian to see she's still in a deep sleep, I vaguely remember my alarm that I set last night before falling asleep going off this morning, I set it to make sure we didn't sleep to late as I don't know if she's told her parents she was going out, it didn't really work though as when it went off I was so warm and comfy beside her that I switched it off and went back to sleep, I know I should look at the time to see if we should be worried, but I don't want to risk waking her by moving, sighing I reach into my pocket slowly careful not to wake her, I look at the time and I can't help my very loud curse.
"SHIT" I yell out, I feel her shift against me and cringe thinking I've startled her out of her peaceful sleep, I look down to see she's still sleeping and I sigh in relieve that I didn't scare her, I slip my phone back into my pocket and lean down closer to her, I start to nuzzle her neck to gently wake her up, she groans and I smile thinking she's grumpy when she's tired, I start to kiss her neck trying to entice her into waking up but to no avail, so I gently kiss her forehead, both her eyelids, the tip of her nose and then her lips, she sighs in contentment but remains asleep, I sigh in defeat and decide I'll just have to lift her from the back to the front, I gently move her so she's lying against the seat, I open my door and get out of the car, I close it behind me and walk to the other side opening the front passenger door as I pass it, I open the back door and pick my sleeping strawberry up bridal style and gently place her back in the front passenger seat, I secure her seatbelt around her, then shut both the front and back doors, I move round to the drivers side and get in, I watch her for a few seconds hoping she'll wake when I get her back to the hotel, sighing I start the engine and drive away towards town.
Tong pov
I park in a free space just outside her hotel and after taking my seat belt off I lean over and start to nuzzle her again, she groans in protest and I sigh in defeat, I get out of the car and walk round the other side, I lift her out and lock the car, I carry her through the hotel to the elevator , I press her floor number and the doors close, I try to wake her by talking to her and telling her we're back at the hotel but she groans again and cuddles into me, I can't help but smile at the fact that she wants to be close to me, the elevator arrives on her floor and I step out and start walking down the long corridor to her room, as I round the corner just a little away from her room, I notice a couple are standing at her door and knocking on it, the women calls her name, I walk back round the corner so they don't see me and try to think of what I can do, I know its not going to look right if I walk around the corner holding their sleeping daughter in my arms when they don't know me, I breath a sigh of relief when I hear the women say.
"She might be sleeping, the time zones are taking it out of all of us, come on we'll go back to our room and try again later"
I peep round the corner to see them enter the room just next to hers, as quietly as I can I start to make my way down the corridor to her room, when I reach it I place her on the floor and open her purse to find her room key, I find it quickly and slide into the little slot on the door, once the door is open I lift her up and place her on the couch in the front room I then move back to the door and close it, I lift her again and carry her through to the bedroom where I lay her on the bed, remove her shoes and slip her under the covers so she stay's warm, I stand up wandering what to do next, it feels wrong to just leave a note and disappear without saying goodbye, I don't want her to feel used, so I walk to the other end of the bed and hoping she won't freak out when she wakes up slip my socks and shoes off, then slip under the covers and pull her body close to me so I can cuddle her, as my head hit's the pillow and my body relaxes I feel myself drifting to sleep, I join my sleeping beauty in a peaceful sleep once more.
I'm startled awake by the sound of knocking, without thinking I slip out of bed and walk to the front door to open it, I realise my mistake as I come face to face with my strawberries parents who have no idea that I'm dating their daughter and also don't know that I'm not a monster.
"What are you doing in my daughter's hotel room" her father asks me
I don't voice it but all I can think of right now is
SHIT