For all those that wanted more Christian and Sera heart to heart conversations :)... Enjoy! :D
and PLEASE REVIEW! :)...
Christian's POV
This had been the first night without Ana… without the Ana I fell in love with. Since she came back from rehab, I could feel our love become stronger… like when we were both younger and still dating… the love we also had when Jason was around… of a couple that couldn't keep away from each other for the littlest time possible… I missed her, but at least, we had e-mails helping us
From: Christian
Subject: Your beautiful face…
Date: May 8th 2014 00.15am
To: Anastasia
I wish you are right here. I am truly missing you… How was your flight? Everything ok?'
Your loving husband… xxx
From: Anastasia
Subject: Your sensuous touch.
Date: May 8th 2014 00.17am
To: Christian
I wish that too. Am all alone in this hotel with Sawyer outside. Thanks to your treatment, I had a great flight. 1st class seats are the best as always. I'm wishing you are here right now…
How's our daughter? Has she eaten? Is she resting? I can catch the next flight in few hours if you need me.
Your loving wife… xxx
From: Christian
Subject: Your wish is my command…
Date: May 8th 2014 00.20am
To: Anastasia
I trust that you are resting well in the executive suit my lady… If you want I can be there in an instant, but I know, that I wouldn't let you go out to any meeting if Sera and I come. We would be simply going around. Which reminds me… we should have a family vacation.
Our daughter has eaten… she had put up a fight, but don't worry… we did it… she's now resting… like you should be Mrs. Grey… I trust you are ready to bed?
There is no need for you to come back early. I'm glad we have some father and daughter time. We are bonding, and she's finally talking (we're getting somewhere baby :) )…
Now please, switch your blackberry off and sleep Mrs. Grey. You have an early day tomorrow.
Your loving husband. Xxx
From: Anastasia
Subject: You and your commanding :p.
Date: May 8th 2014 00.22am
To: Christian
No need to get bossy Mr. Grey. I will sleep whenever and however I like :p .
Yes we should :) … but let's give Sera some time to get better first. She would be exhausted, and she won't have enough energy to go around. Make reservations for next month. I'd love to visit London (and my daughter has the very same likings as I do, we discussed on visiting London, and she would love to go around.)
I'm glad you are bonding Mr. Grey. Just please don't turn her into you! I love having a girly girl with my tastes. I cannot say she's not mine. Give her a hug and a kiss from me. I'm missing her as much as I'm missing you.
Your loving wife :) xxx
From: Christian
Subject: You should take care of that smart mouth…
Date: May 8th 2014 00.35am
To: Anastasia
Oh Mrs. Grey! You wouldn't know what I would do with that tongue. I'll lick you everywhere and make you orgasm like you have never before.
Reservations done for next month… London it is baby… :). Please, can you start involving me into your plans! I love my daughter being a girly girl… You'd be surprised at how girly I can be! :p.
I'll do so in the morning baby. :)… She's missing you a lot too. (and so am I baby :))
Now please, for once, just listen and go to sleep! My palm is already twitching, and I wouldn't think twice on dropping into your hotel :p .
Your loving husband that can't wait to see you again and be in his arms. Xxxx
From: Anastasia
Subject: You and your twitchy palm :p
Date: May 8th 2014 00.38am
To: Christian
Oh Mr. Grey! You don't realise how much I want you to use that tongue on me… even your twitchy palm for the matter.
Wow! That was fast! Even for you! But I'm glad you liked the idea of going to London :).
I'm missing you both baby… Can't wait to be back into your loving arms.
Now please Mr. Grey, stop e-mailing me! I want to get my beauty sleep. :p
I love you baby :)
Your Ana xxxxx (my dreams will be filled with you)
From: Christian
Subject: Be careful what you wish for
Date: May 8th 2014 00.41am
To: Anastasia
Just say the word Ana, and I will be there… but I have to advise you… you have to forget your work if Sera and I come :p…
Sleep tight my baby… you NEED your beauty sleep! :)…
I love you so very much as well honey.
Your Christian xxxxxx (so will mine :) )… xxxxxxxxx
I pressed send and switched off my data connection. I placed my phone on the bedside table and decided to let sleep take its course, however, some rummaging from, outside took me out of my sleep. I checked the time, and I realized it was 2 in the morning. The first thing I noticed was that beside me Ana wasn't there. It soon came into mind... Damn I missed Ana... I decided to get up and make myself a cup of tea. It always worked with Ana, and I guess we're not that different. However as I went downstairs, I found my daughter on the couch in the living room, with a quilt on top of her, reading a book.
'Sera?' I asked, but there was no response. She was too lost in her thoughts. I moved forward and touched her shoulder gently. She was cold against my fingers, but that did get her attention. 'Sera?' I asked again.
'Dad?' she asked as she closed her book with one hand and looked at me wide-eyed. 'What... What are you doing up at this hour?'
'I should better ask you that very same question...' I replied while she avoided my stare. 'I heard something... Guess it was you…'
'Sorry... I dropped the glass jug... Don't worry... I picked it up... It's there...' she pointed. 'I hope it doesn't have sentimental value...'
'It doesn't... It's the cheapest thing we have here...' I joked. 'I bought that in a garage sale... I wanted to donate money for a family in need, but they didn't want the money unless I chose something... So I chose that jug...'
'That's... Um... Strange?'
'Yeah...' I replied. '...so are you going to tell me why you are up?'
'It's nothing dad...'
'Listen...I'm making some tea... Do you want some? We can talk while we drink it.'
'Um... Can I have some water instead please?'
'Can I ask why you don't want tea?'
'You think I don't want tea because of the calories?'
'Well... I'm still trying to understand how this works peanut...'
'Dad... Stop fussing... It's just I'm not in the mood for tea... That's all...' she smiled.
'Ok... I'll be right back honey...' I replied as I kissed her forehead and made my way to the kitchen.
Few minutes later I returned to her with my cup of tea and her glass of water. She was still there lost in her book, reading... She kept rubbing her eyes, but that didn't seem to affect her. It got me wondered. If she's up at this hour... How many times have she done this?
'Sera?' I got her out of her thoughts again, as I placed the liquids on a nearby table.
'Yeah...'
'Nothing... Just wanted to know if your head is still here...' I replied as I raised her up gently and sat down, while placing her head back onto my lap. She still remained reading. 'Oh, and by the way… Natalie wants to meet tomorrow… she said she needs help with something.' She replied.
'Sera, are you sure that it's the best idea that you help her out? When right now you need to get better yourself?'
'Dad, Taylor had a talk with her… and said she needs to open up to someone… You told me yourself that I can only hang out with her when she really needs me… and I think she does…'
'You are right there… you're following the rules…'
'I know I am… I trust you dad… and I know you tell me to do things for my own good…' she smiled as she went back reading.
'What are you reading?' I asked her. It was an awfully heavy thick book. I could see veins popping out of her left arm trying to hold above her face.
'Nothing adventurous dad... It's an organic chemistry book... The one you bought me...'
'Why don't you rest honey?'
'I am resting...'
'Sera... This is not the first time is it?'
'Reading? Dad you know I read every day!' she said again as she closed the book and I took it from her hands and chuckled at her response.
'No... Not reading peanut...'I laughed as I put it near the liquids. 'I mean this... Waking up in the middle of the night.'
'No dad…' She admitted sadly.
'Why?'
'I don't know...I try to sleep...but it doesn't come easy... I mean I sleep for about an hour or so... And then... When the dreams start getting weird I wake up immediately... And I won't be able to sleep... I find it easy to just read... And here I can look outside the balcony and view the peaceful moon.'
'You're the spitting image of your mother...'I replied as I played with her hair. 'She loves relaxing here... For your very same reason...'
'I had to get it from somewhere didn't I dad?'
'How's your arm?' I asked her.
'It's acting up again...but it's ok...' she smiled. 'I removed the neck thing. It was irritating my neck.'
'Don't move it so much…' I instructed. 'How long have you been coming down here?'
'Since I came back...' she admitted. 'Back at the Flynn's I used to remain in the guest room... I didn't want to wake them up... You'd be surprised at the super hearing powers both John and Rhian have. Here it's easier…' she smiled.
'You know you could have come to us... We would have stayed the night with you...' I tried comforting her.
'Dad, you and mum need some privacy... I'm not taking that away from you.'
'Honey, we have our privacy... But your welfare is of a first priority to us!' I explained. 'What are the dreams about?'
'Nothing special dad... Always the same...' she started. 'You told me that if I ... I talk about it, I would be able to sleep...but I still get the nightmares dad... I don't understand...'
'Peanut... The healing process takes time... I know how tough it is to you...'
'That is it dad... I don't understand why I'm making such a big deal about this... I mean... I should be able to work through it without having to have nightmares... It's not a big deal... I mean it's not like I'm the first one to lose my virginity... I mean married people do so... My friend did so... Why am I making such a big deal about it... Everybody goes through it one day... And I don't understand how I can be this stupid...' she said in one breath almost talking to herself rather to me. 'I mean... It's just a something that I had to do someday... Maybe with someone else... But...' she continued again. It pained me seeing her like that. She tried making sense out of the situation but couldn't quite comprehend what she just went through. I squeezed the plan of her hand gently trying to get her out of her deep world. 'I'm not making any sense... Am I dad?' she asked
'Honey...you are making a lot of sense. You are trying to understand what went wrong and why you are reacting this way.' I explained. 'You lost your virginity in the most brutal ways Sera. You didn't plan on it, and most of all you didn't want to have sex... Hence the rape...' I continued. 'Honey you feel bad on what happened and you are trying to turn things around. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way. Yes, you did talk about it...but deep down you haven't come into terms with it. You wanted to save yourself, but that bastard was coward enough to show his dominance on someone as innocent as you are peanut...' I continued. 'Honey... What happened that night that you haven't told anyone as yet...' I asked her. I knew there was something beneath that she still didn't admit.
'What... What do you mean?' she stuttered.
'Sera... There is something that you are afraid to admit... You can tell me... I won't be angry with you...' I encouraged. 'I only want to help you and be there for you.'
After few minutes of her thinking and me trying to reassure her, she started talking again. 'I... Dad... It's... Ok... Promise me that you won't get angry...'she asked.
'I can't honey... This wasn't your fault.'
'Dad... It's just... Deep down I liked him... He was the first guy that actually caught my eye... Deep down... When he was talking to me... I wished he would kiss me and sweep me off my feet... I thought he was a good guy dad... I thought it was amazing to have that feeling… And...'
'...and?'
'For one minute I wished he would ask me out... You know... For a date...'
'Honey ... It's normal to feel an attraction to the opposite sex. It was your first interaction with the opposite sex in a desirable manner. As you said, he was the first to look at you in a different angle... In a non-friendly way.'
'...but... Dad I wished to have a relationship with him... I wanted him to kiss me... And I feel guilty.., because... What if I gave him the vibes to do so? What if I did led him on?'
'Honey you have to make a distinction between guilt and attraction. Attraction is for example when your mother was attracted to me and vice versa. But I didn't rape her... We dated, loved each other got married, and had you...' I explained.' What he did was beyond cruel... He let his foolishness and vile to make the worst of him and hurt you... That is not your fault... That is his stupidity! And I can assure you that he is paying for his vile... My lawyers took care of that...'
'What do you mean dad?'
'Let's just say that he won't be heard around for a very long time...' I smiled.
'Dad... Don't you feel disgusted by me?'
'Why should I peanut? All, I see is a strong, beautiful, kind hearted, and selfless person in front of me, and I thank God every single day for gifting your mother and I with a daughter like you... I regret everything we did wrong... I regret all the hard things I did and said to you... And I'm sorry if I ever made you feel that I don't love you... But I always had the best interest for you...' I continued as I caught one of her tears. 'Peanut your mother and I love you dearly... Please... Don't give up on us... You are the only person that loves us unconditionally and we need that love from you... It is what keeps us strong...'
'Really? Or are you saying that to make me feel better?' she asked gently, barely audible.
'I'm serious baby girl.'
'Dad...' she asked gently.
'Yes peanut?'
'I love you...'she finally said... I hadn't heard her say it like that in years... I felt my heart beating faster...finally I was getting somewhere with her. She was finally saying it from the heart... And I could feel it. I picked her up gently. She was light as a feather, and I did it with no struggle. I hugged her tightly and didn't want to let go. I was getting the sera I knew back and I didn't want her to vanish.
'I love you too peanut!' I replied back, as I held her tighter paying mostly attention to her broken arm. 'Don't ever leave us again... Please...'
'I won't dad...' she smiled while I lifted her off and she remained holding on to my neck.
'Come... Let's go to sleep...' I smiled. 'You're staying with me tonight... Like when you were younger...'
'Are you sure dad? Besides I think you can put me down... I can walk... My arm is broken not my legs...'
'I don't want to let you go peanut... And yes I'm sure...' I replied as I entered the bedroom. I tucked in bed on Ana's side and kissed her forehead after making sure that every inch of her was covered. 'Goodnight peanut...' I smiled, as I took my side of the bed and pulled her gently close to me. 'Please try to sleep... You need it.' I encouraged. 'Or do you want me to read you a story.' I joked.
'Dad... I'm 17! Not 7 for God's sake.'
'I wish you were still that age... You've grown up so fast...' I smiled. '…but you'll always be my baby girl. Now sleep peanut... I'm here for you. I love you...'
'I do too daddy...' she smiled.
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