I don't know how long I went walking for, I didn't pay attention. When I got home, my entire family was waiting for me in the living room. As soon as I closed the door behind me, my dad ran from his station in the living room doorway.
"Thank god Clary! Where've you been?!" He rushed to me, holding me close to him. "You're freezing." He muttered under his breath, rubbing my arms. Jon appeared next, a look of relief on his face. My mother was the last to appear and she looked livid.
"What are you playing at Clary?" She questioned, rubbing her temples.
"Sorry." I muttered. "I lost track of time."
"Where've you been Clary? Do you even know what time it is?" My mother said, gesturing to the clock. I cast a glance behind me. 1am. No wonder they were furious with me, I'd left the house 5 hours ago.
"I went for a walk around the park." I said honestly. I just felt completely at a loss. Jace was completely right. I should have done something. I should have stopped things from turning out this way. They lectured me for a little bit longer before sending me up to my room. I happily obliged. I fell asleep almost instantly and when I awoke the next morning I wasn't in bed alone. Simon was sitting at the foot of my bed, looking at me concerned.
"What are you doing here?" I asked. It came out a little harsher than I had originally intended.
"Jon came to get me this morning. He said you'd been out until stupid o clock this morning- where were you? Fighting vampires?" Simon tried to make me laugh.
"I went to the park to clear my head and then it all kicked off with Isabelle." I muttered, tucking my duvet under my chin. Simon joined me under the sheets, resting his head on my shoulder.
"What happened?"
"Isabelle and Jace had an argument. She must have thrown the fact her and Sebastian had slept together in Jace's face. She asked me if I would cover for her if she went to Sebastian's. I warned her about him and now she's not talking to me."
"Oh."
"And then Jace turned up and asked where she was so I told him. Then he basically said that I should have kept her away from Sebastian and now he's not talking to me. So overall, quite a successful night." I moaned, rolling onto my back. "I wish I had been fighting vampires. No doubt it would have been easier."
"Everyone needs to realise just how hard this is on you Clary. What are you expected to do, run around and tell everyone your business so that they'll stop making stupid choices? At the end of the day, you told Izzy that he was bad news and she preferred to believe him over you. That was her choice. My opinion is that the more they try and turn her away from Sebastian, the more she's going to run to him. I know I'm the same. Whenever my Mom's like 'Simon! You're having something proper to eat tonight, no takeaway!' I'm suddenly like 'but I really fricking want takeaway!' The more you try and tell someone that something is wrong, the more they want to try it. Sooner Jace realises that and stops acting like a turd the better."
"Did you just call him a 'turd'?"
"What of it?" I laughed at his response. He was right. The decision was in Isabelle's hands now and no one could change what had happened before now. Grabbing my phone, I penned a message to Jace.
Clary: Do you want to talk about yesterday? Did you get Isabelle sorted?
Simon left an hour later, his mother was making him Sunday lunch. I sat amongst my sheets, waiting on a reply from Jace. Waiting on a reply that would never come. He hadn't even responded by the next morning. I got up early and dressed quite plainly. I just couldn't be bothered. Walking down for breakfast, Jon gave me a hesitant look.
"Are you ill, Clary? You look really pale." He asked, eating cheerios.
"I'm fine. Thanks for asking." I smiled lightly before grabbing my bag and heading out for school. Jon tried to bully me into getting a lift but I told him I would prefer to walk. By the time I made it to the school I'd missed form class and had to register at the front desk. The rest of the day passed by in a blur, I don't even remember what lessons I had. Then before I knew it, art. The staple feature of my Mondays. I sat myself down at the table, grabbed a piece of paper, put my head down and started sketching. I heard the chairs scrap out a few moments later, people sitting in them, conversation in the air.
"Your dorm is filthy though, you can tell you're both art students!" Isabelle laughed, Jordan and Sebastian joining in. The giggles were going through me like nails on a chalkboard and part of me just wanted to scream to the classroom who Sebastian was and every single thing that he had done to me.
"Are you wearing your present?" Sebastian questioned Isabelle. Giggles once more. I cast a quick glance from the corner of my eye and caught sight of a thin bracelet entwined around her wrist.
-Flashback-
"I've got you something really nice, close your eyes." Sebastian smiled, rummaging in his drawers. I closed them tight, my heart was racing and my skin was shivering even though it was the middle of summer. My hands were clamped on my knees as I sat on the edge of his bed. I didn't dare move. Not until he told me too. My heart almost stopped when he reached out and grabbed my hand, placing it on top of a box. "Open." He said and I opened my eyes slowly. My hands were holding a jewellery box as Sebastian rested on his knees inches away from me. Inside was a silver necklace which Sebastian immediately took from the case and wrapped it around my neck, standing behind me as he fastened it. He was whispering words of love but all I could think about was how his hands had rested around my throat earlier that day, how his fingers had clamped down and stolen my breath from me. As he turned me to face him with rough hands, all I could recall was the way he had grabbed my waist and dug his fingers in, the bruises that remained there, the pain that filled me every time I sat down. His eyes drank me in as he smiled.
"You look so beautiful Clary." His lips collided with my own as I stood solid, counting down the minutes until I could go home.
"Is everything alright Clary?" Jordan was trying to catch my eye, resting on the table so that our faces were near level. I nodded lightly, before turning my head to face away from the group, sketching once more. A short while passed and everyone was continuing on with the art projects. Isabelle didn't even look in my direction. Sebastian however did more than usual. A sly smirk rested on his lips as he watched me over Isabelle's shoulder the entire time. He knew that Jace and I had fought. Had it been part of his plan? My phone vibrated and I quickly checked it underneath the table.
Jace: Still working on it. Need some time. Sorry.
It wasn't the answer I was looking for. I paid very little attention to what the other three were doing at the table and rose slowly from my seat once the bell to signify the end of the day rang. Isabelle and Sebastian were already walking ahead, her arm linked with his. I gathered my things in silence and made a beeline for the door. Jordan hung back and caught up with me.
"Upset about your fight with Isabelle?" Jordan asked and I was taken aback by his bluntness.
"So you know all about it?" I muttered, rearranging my bag over my shoulder.
"Oh yes, Isabelle spoke at length about it last night. Not really fair of her to make you lie for her like that." Jordan admitted, slowing his pace to walk alongside me.
"So she stayed with you guys then?"
"I uh- stayed with some pals down the hall. They wanted the room. If you catch my drift." Jordan looked uncomfortable. I felt sick to my stomach.
"Delightful." I managed to say. We reached the exit and I just caught sight of Jace walking slightly ahead of me. He didn't turn around, his eyes focussed on Sebastian and Isabelle who were walking just in front of him. Sebastian helped Isabelle into his car as Jace skirted around them and climbed into his own. His eyes caught sight of me as he turned on the ignition, he looked at me questioningly.
"So are you busy tonight?" Jordan asked as I pulled my eyes away from Jace.
"I think so." I said simply as Jace shook his head, driving away after Sebastian and Isabelle.
"Trouble in paradise?" He questioned as I sighed.
"Is it really that obvious?" I moaned, holding onto the strap of my bag.
"Just a little. Are you sure that you're still busy tonight? I'm getting that tattoo tonight and you're more than welcome to come with me. Maybe I can help you out with your issue? Whatever you say will be between me you and my tattooist." He smirked. I looked at him, still undecided. "Come on, it'll be a laugh."
"Fine." I sighed. Sitting in a tattoo parlour was preferable to getting myself lost in a park. Climbing into Jordan's car, we headed over to his dorms first so that he could dump his art supplies.
"Are you sure you don't want to come in?" He asked.
"Are Sebastian and Isabelle in there?"
"Most likely." He responded.
"Then, I'm great here." I smiled, settling into the car. Jordan shrugged, signalling he would be a few minutes before heading into the building. Looking at my hands, I nearly jumped out of my skin when my phone vibrated.
Jace: Jordan then?
Clary: It's not like that Jace, he's a friend.
Jace: Yeah looks like it, that's why you're at his dorms?
I looked around confused until I caught sight of Jace's car parked under the shade of some trees. Hopping out of Jordan's car, I headed over to Jace's. Knocking on the glass, he looked at me unamused before winding it down.
"Are you actually going to talk to me?"
"We messed up Clary. We got ourselves so concerned with what was going on with us, we let Isabelle get into bed, quite literally, with a proven abusive guy. How can you not feel guilty about that?"
"I tried to warn her off him Jace. She wouldn't have it. I've had enough of feeling guilty because of other people. When I was with Sebastian, all I felt was guilt. Guilt for wearing clothes that didn't cover up 90% of skin, guilt for talking to people who weren't approved, guilt for overstepping my mark. Guilt for not telling Jon. Then guilt for telling Jon. Now I feel guilt for letting Isabelle fall for Sebastian. Guilt for not telling someone. Guilt for having not had Sebastian locked up already. Guilt for agreeing to go to a tattoo parlour with Jordan. Guilt for upsetting you. Guilt for ruining this. Can you see why I've had it up to my eyeballs with guilt Jace? I'm done feeling guilty over things I have no control over. Sitting outside of Sebastian's dorms like a stalker is not going to make you feel any less guilty yourself because you have nothing to feel guilty for in the first place. Isabelle is old enough to make her own choices and from what I can tell from their relationship, the worst Isabelle is going to leave with is a broken heart." After my rant, I felt immediately embarrassed and crossed the street back to Jordan's car. Jace didn't attempt to follow me and when Jordan came back five minutes later, Jace's car was gone from the street.
"Everything alright? You look flushed?" Jordan asked, strapping himself in.
"I'm fine thanks." I smiled, as Jordan started the car.
"It's probably a good job you didn't come upstairs."
"How so?"
"They're arguing. Well kind of snapping at each other. Isabelle was on the phone to her brother to come and get her when I left." I nodded in my head. Jace must have just done a lap of the building as he came back around front to collect Isabelle from the doorway. Jordan was backing out of the car park as Isabelle climbed in, hugging Jace in the front seat before strapping herself in. Had she finally realised what he was like? Or had they just argued for some trivial reason?
The tattoo parlour was practically empty when we arrived. The tattooist was a hulking man who was covered from the neck down in art. He readied Jordan on the table, stencilling the image onto his chest. I sat myself down in the chair available and watched on. Once the tattoo started, Jordan didn't even flinch.
"So – do you want to talk about Jace?" Jordan asked, reclining his head on his hands. I shook my head.
"What's to talk about? Whatever was going on with us he clearly doesn't want anymore – too much of a distraction from the things that actually matter in his life."
"I'm not so sure, the guy seems pretty sold on you."
"That's not the impression I'm getting anymore." I shrugged. The door to the shop jingled but I didn't look over.
"Jordan I'm hurt! I thought I was your tattoo buddy!" Sebastian had walked into the parlour and was acting wounded.
"Sorry pal, I got a better offer." He smirked as I kept my eyes firmly trained in on the tattoo gun. Sebastian pulled up a seat next to me and instinctively I moved mine slightly away.
"I thought I'd had a better offer but then I remembered the joys of dating younger girls. Never happy." Sebastian tutted. I rolled my eyes and bit my lip to stop myself making a comment.
"You should have held back on the bedding mate. Always causes problems."
"You're telling me. I may take a vow of celibacy."
"The world shall rejoice." I muttered under my breath. "I think I'm going to go now, seeing as you've got someone else to sit with you." I grabbed my bag, adjusting it over my shoulder.
"Do you need a lift home?" Sebastian offered. I laughed out loud.
"No, I'm fine thank you." I bid Jordan farewell and made my way home. Jon was stressing out in his room when I got back.
"Something the matter?" I questioned as I was on my way to my room. He indicated for me to come inside.
"Jace had to go and pick Isabelle up from Sebastian's earlier."
"Okay?" I said.
"She was upset and she won't tell Jace what happened. He's really worried about her. Do you think Sebastian would hurt her like he uh – hurt you?" Jon asked.
"You'd have to ask Isabelle." I muttered briefly before leaving his room. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I penned a quick message to Isabelle.
Clary: Are you okay?
It took a while for a reply to come through but when it did, it nearly drove me to tears.
Isabelle: Why do you care? It's all your fault.
Thank you for reading! I appreciate each and every one of you. All my love, until the next time. ~Sapph