I shut the door to my chambers and slid down it until my bottom touched the floor. I couldn't believe what I had done. I couldn't believe I had slept with the Commander. I couldn't believe how much I liked it. I couldn't believe how much I wanted to do it again.

I grudgingly got up and fumbled to the kitchen, pouring myself a dazed cup of tea and crawling into bed. I was still in my torn pants and oversized shirt, so I summoned a nightdress and changed without getting out of bed. I pulled the covers up to my chin and turned on a holo vid that I couldn't get two minutes through before falling to sleep.

...

When I got to training the following morning, I was surprised to find an instructor in the place of the dark, hooded figure I was used to seeing. When Kylo Ren didn't come to training it was often because he and I had our private training; his absence today was odd.

I completed training without any issues, but also without any excitement. The training with the instructors was nothing compared to the one with Kylo instructing, but even less so compared to private training.

As I walked back to my quarters I looked out the wide window that stretched across the hallway wall. I approached it and looked upon the snowy cape that blanketed the bottom of the base. I lingered for a moment and continued my walk.

As I turned the corner, I saw Master Ren stalking towards me from the opposite end of the hallway, and I felt my body tense. I felt a flicker of heat in the back of my head, but Ren made no physical indication of recognition. As he passed me, I took a step back and nodded to him, as I was trained to do upon interactions outside of the training room.

He looked at me and continued his stride, and the fire in my skull flickered brighter as his mask turned to me, but dimmed after he left.

...

Upon my return to my quarters, I found a messenger droid waiting for me.

"Rey! Of the Knights of Ren!"

"You have been summoned to the commander's gym for private training with Master Ren!"

"Your presence has been requested immediately!"

"Thank you!"

I looked at the droid, watching as it scooted off. I bit my lip as I tried to decide what state my life was in at that moment. Ren had called me to his room, took what was mine, avoided and ignored me, and now was calling me to private training. I could not determine what was happening at all.

I made my way to the private dojos and when I arrived I found Kylo Ren, already there, meditating. The moment I stepped in the room I could feel heat pulsating from him through the Force. His eyes popped open and another wave of heat hit me.

"We're meditating today." He said, shutting his eyes.

I sat beside him and shut my eyes, trying to focus. When I meditated I typically thought of an ice cube sliding down an endless plane, and the trail of water it left behind despite never melting completely. Today, I could not focus on such things. The only thing I could think about was the fact that the man next to me had ran his hands all over my body not even 24 hours previously. All I could think about was how warm his skin was and how much I wanted to touch his hair. I shook my head and tried not to think of such things.

After awhile, I couldn't handle all the unanswered questions in my head, that I spoke.

"Are you going to pretend last night did not happen?" I asked, keeping my eyes shut. I felt a fire spark as he opened his eyes and flicked them over to me.

"I would be rather upset if it had not happened. I have every intention of acknowledging it." He replied coolly.

"This morning I had a commander meeting I was required to attend. As for right now, despite how much I want to take you right on this meditation mat, we need to train." He added and my cheeks got hot. I shut my eyes and tried to clear my mind again, but all I could think about were the freckles on his face and how defined his arm muscles looked in his clothes. I huffed out a breath.

"I cannot focus." I stated, my eyes popping back open.

"I will think of something else in terms of...training related activities." He replied, embarrassing me yet again. He knew the exact reason I couldn't focus, and he was wallowing in it.

"We'll go into the gym, you can run some. Put your mask on, I'd rather the other officers not look at what isn't theirs." He said as he put his own helmet on his head.

I got to the track and began running. I could feel Kylo's eyes on me as I ran but I tried to focus on running. I had to get myself focused or I wouldn't be able to do my job at all.

After running for about an hour, Ren stopped me. I was panting and I could feel sweat creeping throughout my body.

"That's enough. Hopefully that's exhausted you enough to focus on your meditation."