Jesus the updates are coming fast and thick today! I just can't help myself. Every single time I finish a chapter, I keep immediately starting the next! Anyway I hope you're still enjoying this story. Let me know!
I went to school the next morning practically in a daze. Every single time I saw Lana, I wanted to stop her in the corridor and ask her for the truth. Would she even tell me the truth? Jace hadn't. My head was aching and all I wanted was for people to just be honest with me. By the time the end of the school day rolled around, I was still no closer to getting any answers. Simon was waiting for me at the end of the day, Isabelle waiting at his side.
"Hey, are you alright? You've been looking a bit peaky all day." Isabelle commented.
"She's right, you look like someone's drained the colour out of you with a tap." Simon added. I waited until we were out of earshot of anyone from school.
"I found a mascara in Jace's car last night." I said blankly. "It wasn't one of mine." Isabelle inhaled sharply, Simon just looked at me expressionlessly.
"Is it yours?" Simon turned to Isabelle. She shook her head.
"I haven't been in Jace's car since Magnus' party."
"It's Lana's." I said. "I know that it's hers. I just don't understand why he keeps lying to me. I just want him to be honest with me." I sighed. I pulled out my phone and quickly penned a last ditch message.
Clary: Date night?
I sent the message optimistically.
"Do you want to do something tonight? We were thinking about going to the cinema?" Simon offered, Isabelle nodding in agreement.
"No thank you. It's supposed to be date night. So I'm going to go home and wait to see if my date shows up. If and when he shows up, I'm going to ask him about this mascara and hopefully I'll get some answers." I told them before heading into my house. My phone vibrated in my pocket and I felt nervous looking at it, but it was only Sebastian.
Sebastian: Is everything alright? You didn't seem yourself in art today?
Clary: Fine thank you, just feeling unwell.
Sebastian: Let me know if you need anything.
The way that Sebastian was treating me was driving me crazy. I hated the fact he was being so nice to me, I just couldn't stand it. I didn't hang about waiting for Jace to respond. He took forever these days. Finally he responded.
Jace: I can come after 7?
I looked at the clock. It was 5 o clock now. 2 hours to wait. 2 hours to stew.
Clary: That'll have to do.
I decided to do myself up nice in those 2 hours. I'd been looking sickly and mopey the last couple of days. If I couldn't feel good, I'd make sure I looked good. Once I'd finished with my makeup, I threw on a pair of skinny jeans and a camisole with a bright coloured kimono over the top of it. It was 7.05 and I had a text from Jace.
Jace: I'm outside are you coming?
I quickly grabbed the mascara from my drawer, shoving it into my pocket before I ran out to the car. As soon as I caught sight of Jace's face, I could barely contain the secret. I needed to tell him.
"Jace. I need to talk to you." I said as we driving.
"Sounds important." Jace flashed me a grin but I wasn't having any of it. I waited until he was concerned enough to pull over. "What's the matter?" It was now or never.
"I uh – found this in your car Jace." I mumbled, fumbling with the mascara in my pocket. Jace's face fell instantly and I knew that I'd stumbled on something here. "I want to know why you're lying." Jace immediately got uncomfortable and the energy in the air was making me uncomfortable.
"I wasn't going to tell you until I was sure, Clary." He was running his hands through his hair and I felt sick all of a sudden. I couldn't speak. I nodded for him to go on but he didn't seem to know where he was going with it.
"Is Lana involved?"
"Yes." He said, simply.
"Are you going to elaborate?" I could feel my anger building up inside. No amount of makeup could cover this up.
"I haven't even thought about how to put it into words."
"Try." I grunted.
"Lana came up to me in school the other day, approached me at my locker. Y'know how me and Lana had history? Before me and you?" I nodded, I wasn't liking where this was going. "She thinks she's –" Jace trailed off.
"I'm not sure I want to know." I decided all of a sudden. I had a horrible feeling in my chest. I felt sick all of a sudden. "Please don't say what I think you're going to say. Please Jace." I took a deep breath as he looked down at the floor.
"I knew as soon as I told you, you wouldn't want this anymore. I knew that it would be the end of us. I just wanted a few more days with you, a few more days of us before reality caught up. She says she's pregnant." Jace finally admitted and I slowly released the air that was painfully building up in my chest.
"When were you going to tell me?" I asked, kneading my hands.
"After I'd been to the scan. When I knew it was the truth." Jace informed me.
"Why would she lie?"
"I don't know but I don't know how she can be pregnant. We used protection. Sorry, I know you don't want the details but I've been struggling with it."
"Why didn't you just tell me?"
"I wanted to be sure."
"You lied to me though Jace. Like lied to my face."
"I didn't want to hurt you." He protested, trying to hold my hands. I shrugged him off, looking out of the window.
"You hurt me more by lying to me." I said plainly. I wasn't sure what hurt me more actually. "Have you been for it then? The scan?" I muttered, looking at the world walking past.
"Its next week." Jace said. I nodded lightly, tears rolling down slowly down my cheeks. "Speak to me Clary." He tried to place his hand on top of mine once more but I pulled away once more. "Please." He said at a whisper. I turned to face him, well aware that makeup was running down my cheeks.
"I'm not sure I can handle this." I shook my head.
"The pregnancy? I know." Jace tried to comfort me.
"Not that Jace. The lying. You should have told me when I asked. You should have trusted me." I wiped my eyes dry. "The sneaking around, the making me feel like I'd done something wrong." I took a deep breath. "I got into this car with you today Jace and I could barely contain the fact that I had found a mascara in your car. I told you every single thing that Sebastian put me through, I trusted you with my heart Jace, and I trusted you with everything about me. You had the chance to share something that was troubling you with me and you lied." Jace looked uncomfortable, twitching in his seat. I was starting to feel uncomfortable myself. I just wanted my bed and about 100 hours worth of sleep.
"Do you think it'll make you feel better if we spent some time away from one another?" Jace asked.
"I think that'll make me feel worse." I grumbled, completely and utterly confused.
"I think I want to give you some space. You might not think you need it, but I feel like you do. I think you'll feel better for the time to yourself and a chance to really think things through." I could think of anything worse. We'd broken up for a weeks-vacation at school and here was Jace suggesting that I spend all of this time by myself. Maybe he was right though. Maybe I did need to think this through and think about what I wanted. The way Jace had behaved – could I deal with that after everything I'd already been through with Sebastian? Honestly? I wasn't sure.
"Do you need some space?" I asked him, holding back tears.
"No, but you do. I love you Clary. You know I do. Hence why I'm giving you the space you need. I'll always be a phonecall away, a text away. If you text me and tell me to be there, I'll be there."
Everything I wanted to say, I'd said. Jace was right, I did need some time to myself. He offered to drive me home but I insisted that I would walk. I wasn't really that far away. I promised him before I left that I wouldn't tell anyone about Lana's apparent pregnancy. Lord, I wished I didn't know about it. My walk home led me past Main Street, groups of drunken men and women staggering around the street, looking for their next drink. I skirted around the groups, until I heard my name shrieked loudly.
"CLAAAAAARY!" A voice called. Turning on my heel, I saw Jordan staggering through the crowd, his hand above his head as he manoeuvred through. Sebastian was with him, as well as a couple of other college boys.
"Hi Jordan." I smiled at him. "Sebastian." I said, not wanting to be rude. Sebastian seemed a lot more sober than Jordan. Jordan was informing the other boys who I was before inviting me out with them. I politely declined before wishing them a good night and heading home. Sebastian chased after me.
"Hey, let me walk you."
"I'm alright, go and enjoy your night."
"I don't want you hurting yourself." Sebastian said.
"I think I actually have more chance of doing that with you around." I said bitterly.
"Clary, I'm trying to turn over a new leaf here. Can you stop being so vicious to me all the time?" He said and I realised I had been a bit harsh.
"I'm alright to walk home by myself thank you." I walked slightly ahead. He didn't walk alongside me but I could feel him walking about 3 feet behind me. We walked a couple of blocks before I turned around to face him. "What are you doing? I said I could walk myself home."
"I'm not walking you home. I'm just making sure you get there okay." He said, trailing me still. I grumbled but stopped complaining. I wasn't going to win this battle. Once I'd made it to my house, Sebastian watched me in before turning back and heading towards Main Street. Because I had been so concerned with what Sebastian had been doing, I hadn't noticed Jace's car out front. He was sat with Jon in the kitchen playing some card game. Was this his idea of giving me space? I headed straight up the stairs and out of the way. Now that I was on my own, I allowed myself to totally break down. I wasn't even sure what I was crying about anymore. Was it because he'd lied to me? Was it because she was pregnant? No. It was because I loved him and this whole situation was breaking my heart. How was our relationship going to survive this?
I curled up under my covers but I didn't sleep. I ran through every possible scenario in my head and thought about it thoroughly. My parents were still out of town so I had no one to hassle me, no one to break my chain of thought. I was up thinking until 3am. By that time I was pretty sure I'd made my mind up. I reached for my phone, knowing that it would be a long shot as I had heard Jace leave hours previously.
Clary: I'm ready to talk.
I penned the message and went to place the phone down. It hadn't even touched the counter when a reply came in.
Jace: I'm on my way.
I washed my face while I was waiting and tied my hair back away from my face, trying to make it less obvious that I had been crying so much. Jace must have used the spare key to get into the house because as I was brushing my hair out, I heard creaks on the floorboards before a light knock rang out at my door. He didn't look fantastic. He looked pretty stressed. He walked over to my bed, sitting himself down.
"I'm assuming you have come to a decision." Jace muttered. "I'm not going to lie, I thought you would have been thinking about it for longer." He was talking into his lap, not his usual self at all.
"I have to admit, it was a shock. It took me a while to start thinking rationally about it all. I realised I shouldn't even be thinking about the pregnancy. That has nothing to do with me. It happened before us, before you really even knew me. I ruled that out of my thinking. It came down to the lying Jace. I need you to promise me that you won't lie to me again Jace. I can't stand being lied to ever since –"
"I promise." Jace cut over me, a look of shock taking over his features.
"My previous relationship." I finished. "After thinking about it, I couldn't let this tear us apart Jace. I can't stand to even think about being without you. I know we haven't been together long but it feels like it's been an eternity. It's something that I'm not ready to give up on." I confessed as I moved myself closer to him. "Because I love you. I love you Jace." I could feel myself getting upset again. Jace reached out for me and I dived into the hug, wrapping my arms and legs around him in unison. My lips immediately sought out his, my hands resting on either side of his face. He lifted himself up from the bed, lifting me up with him before laying me down in the middle of it. He rested himself over me, his lips devouring mine as his hands snaked up my waist. My hands ran through his hair as his chest heaved against my own. My fingernails raked up his back, bringing his tshirt with them. In the moment, I started to pull it over his head. He broke the kiss as I removed his shirt, our lips instantly seeking one another again. I felt every inch of his chest with both my palms and the backs of my hands. His lips broke away from mine, his kisses extending down my jaw and my throat. He kissed along my collarbone before his chin fell to the bottom of my shirt. He lifted the material ever so slowly with his hands as his jaw brushed the skin of my stomach, his lips delivering the softest of kisses from my hips to my belly button. I giggled lightly under his touch, his stubble making me ticklish. His thumbs tracing patterns up my sides, and just under my bra. His lips tracing further and further, up to my ribs and then –
"I think that's enough for one night." He smirked, kissing me gently on the forehead and then on the lips once more.
"Wha-?" I muttered, a light blush taking over my face.
"What was it you said? Treat them mean, keep them keen?"
Thank you all for sticking with this story. I appreciate every single one of you and I love reading your reviews!
All of my love, until the next time!
~Sapph