A/N: Here's all that from Peeta's POV.

Annie and I met up when everything was said and done. We were both kind of wrecks, but we dealt with it by me distracting her by making her talk about the wedding and things she wanted for the cake. I couldn't pull a wedding cake out of my ass. Maybe a simple chocolate cake at Cato's house...Cato.

She wanted it to be reminiscent of their time together. Their lives in Four. The sea, mostly. So lots of light, whippy blue frosting. Noted. There was really nothing else that could distract me besides this. But we were only an hour or so in, and I was already missing him a bunch. Almost enough that it hurt. But I ignored it by telling myself that I'd see him tonight. Then I could deal with this on my own.

We have ice cream for dinner.

He was right. I kind of act like a girl.

Then, we make or departure from each other and go into our rooms on our own. I almost check the bottom drawer, but I know I'll probably need it more soon. So I stare at the ceiling for a while, and decide to write a journal to show him when he gets back, keeping track of what I do. I find a notepad in the dresser and start writing in silence.

Day One:

I must be such a sap. I already want to cry and he's only been gone a day. But I'm strong. I spoke to Annie about the wedding today. I already have a sketch for the cake. I can't wait. I ate ice cream for dinner, too. Portia'll be upset.

Peeta ~

I fall asleep wishing he were here. At first, it was a quiet sleep. Nothing special.

Then, there was fire.

Nothing but painful, searing fire. And, in order, I relive every moment of my torture. The tracker jacker venom, even. Hallucinations. Sobbing. Needing death.

And I wake up crying.

I sob myself to sleep.

I miss Cato.

The next morning, I wake up exhausted. I've been up and down all night. I paced the halls for a while, trying to figure out something to do with myself, but to no avail. Eventually I passed out from how tired I was, but I was yawning all day. I get sent to record a few more propos that we can save for when the time's right-in case I can't record. I see Haymitch give me a smile, and I know he's giving me the chance to work on things with Annie. That makes my day worlds better, and helps me stop thinking about Cato. Or at least, thinking about him in a more positive light.

After prepping and the shoot, it's about midday, so I grab two lunches to go and meet Annie up in her room to show her some of the drawings I've done for the cake before we get to work. We don't know how long they're going to be out there, so everyone's working as if it could be any day-Cinna's even making her a dress. It made me smile, how everyone here pulled together for each other.

After about an hour eating with Annie and debating different aspects of the cake, she heads downstairs to HQ with me so I can talk to Coin about getting Cato's mom safe. Especially with the Team about to hit Four, Two could become unstable at any moment. She's expecting me, since I asked to see her last night, and is less than amused at my request. I don't think she likes Cato very much. But when I make a bit of a fit, and agree to help working in the kitchen occasionally for desserts (which I wouldn't object to), she agrees to send out a recon team to get Cato's mother. Plus, I think she thought the idea of me doing things with her, saying she saved my life, would look good to get Districts on our side. Whatever worked, I just wanted her here before he got home.

Then, we headed down into the kitchens to see what we could start with for the cake. The easiest thing to start with would be the actual cakes. Finnick's favorite cake was apparently cinnamon, so that's what we'd make. Then, we'd use Annie's favorite icing-buttercream. It was sweet, how she spoke about him. It reminded me of how Cato would imitate me talking about him. Did I really sound like a lovesick girl?

We got together all of the ingredients and waited for the kitchen staff to get out before we began baking. She watched me closely, and really seemed to have an eye for detail-which was always good when baking.

As I set her on task with the massive amount of batter, I get to work on the other cake I need to be working on. Dark chocolate, with cream cheese frosting. Fairly smaller, obviously... But the design much more personal. I only draw for now. His birthday isn't for another four weeks or so. I have time. I've got to make it count.

We work for a little while before they need to start getting ready for dinner. She has a good amount of the batter done, and I make a mental note that we're on schedule for now. We'd bake tomorrow, and I'd start mixing frostings the next day with colors. We head back upstairs talking about Finnick and Cato, wondering how they're doing and wondering what's happening back over in Four. I once again consider the bottom drawer, but then remember that I don't know how long he'll be there. I'll wait for news, then decide. If they're going to be back soon, then I'll read them sooner. If I have time, then I'll wait. I hope he got my jacket by now.

After a little bit, Annie realizes I'm getting restless for news, so we head over to 1219-the meeting room, because it has the biggest screen in the District. Plus, we knew how to get there...so that was kind of a bonus for the both of us, being geographically challenged. But all that's on tv is a weird static between Capitol TV and my propos, I guess because we're fighting for signal. But I want to see the Capitol TV! Ugh. I sit on the chair with my knees tucked into my chest, waiting for something that doesn't seem monotonous.

Eventually, the television fades directly into Capitol TV, covering a siege in District Four. I look at Annie excitedly, hoping that maybe we'll get glimpses at the team-but then, we realize that if they can get that close, it's probably not a good thing. And as the fighting remains at a zoomed-out perspective, we keep our hopes up. But then, a ticker runs across the bottom of the screen, and my heart stops.

"Rebel Forces Cornered in District Four Justice Building"

There were so many other fights, though, it seemed. What were the chances, right? The cameras fade onto a team of soldiers and Peacekeepers alike, waiting outside what seemed to be a barricaded door. One of them tosses a small bomb..Whoever's in there's a goner. I can't breathe, not knowing if it's friend, stranger, or lover. As the bomb begins to beep, the doors slam open, and I want to puke.

Because all I see is my jacket, and I know it's him. He runs out, but can't even make it a foot before they start shooting. Within seconds, he's dropped to the ground. I have to be having a nightmare. This has to be some terrible dream. I know it. My entire body is convulsing, shaking, and I want to break into sobs right now...but I shut my eyes and try to imagine that it isn't real. That none of this is real. And that when I open my eyes, it'll be some other guy. So I open them.

But now, the headline reads:

"74th Hunger Games Winner-Turned-Rebel Cato Shot Dead In District Four"

"No. No, no, no."

It has to be some other Cato, right? Someone else. Not mine.

But I stare for a long time. I even feel Annie's hand on my shoulder, but I don't respond. Because all I want to do is find something that proves that the dead man on the screen isn't my fiance. I need to find something. Because he promised. I promised. That he'd be back. There had to be some mistake. I feel tears welling in my eyes. But I won't let them fall. To let them fall would be to admit that he's dead.

And he isn't dead. Cato. Isn't. Dead.

We still have so much to be done. It couldn't end here. Like this. Wasn't this supposed to be simple? I don't even blink. I just stare at the screen, barely even registering what was on.

"Slap me." I whisper, continuing to stare at the screen.

"What?"

"Slap me." I repeat.

"I'm not going to slap you, Peeta." Annie's voice is shaking. She has to realize how I feel. What if the same were to happen to Finnick?

"Just hit me, something, anything to wake me up from this goddamn nightmare!" I scream, turning to her. He can't be dead. There's no way. No possible way. But this empty feeling in my gut, like the wind was eternally knocked out of me...it told me otherwise. When Annie shakes her head again, I smack my legs, arms, face, pull at my hair... But I won't wake up.

He's dead.

I begin sobbing into my knees, shaking and holding myself. No. "Love..." My voice releases through sobs. "No, no, love..." It's hard to breathe or process anything at all. I can't believe this. I try to manage his name, but I can't. I can't say his name. "You can't be dead love..." I whisper, running my hands through my hair. "Love, love, love..." Please no. Don't do this to us. He didn't do anything wrong. We didn't deserve this. "Oh god!" I sob, rolling myself into a little ball on the chair. "Cato..."

Through my sobs, I can barely hears the calls for my name from through the door. They had to have heard me scream at Annie, because whoever it was is heading here. Then, I hear the doors opening, and it's Haymitch and Coin.

"Peeta..." I hear a voice. First, Haymitch.

"This can't be happening. Please, someone tell me it isn't happening." I cry. There's only silence.

"Peeta...He's dead."

Coin.

Her. This was her idea. She was the one who wanted to send him out.

"SHUT UP!" I pull my head out of my knees to turn to them quickly, screaming. "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" I point at her, shaking. "You had to send him! HAD TO! NO CHOICES, RIGHT?!" My voice cracks.

"Peeta, calm down..." Annie attempts to reason with me, but I won't have any of it. The love of my life is dead. The only thing that's kept me alive over the past six months or so is dead. Gone.

"I will not calm down!" I shout, getting out of my chair. "Are you happy?! Is everyone happy?!"

"No one's happy about this, Peeta!" Haymitch yells back.

"She is! She hated him all along! You probably planned this from the start when you wouldn't have shit for your rebellion without him!"

"Peeta! You have to stop!" Haymitch shouts.

But she just stands there, staring.

"Aren't you going to say anything?!" I've begun sobbing again.

"I'm...sorry." And she walks out.

"Come back here! Get the hell back here!" I start to run after her, but collapse on the ground. I'm a mess. I can't even explain how I'm feeling. I can't even hold him. I lay there on the cold metal and just cry. "Love..." I say to no one. "My love..." No, no... "Forever...didn't we say that?"

Haymitch and Annie take me back to my room, though I fight them for a while on the way up, where I sob and shake on my bed for a good long while before there's a knock on the door. My father. He doesn't say a thing, just kisses the top of my head, and sits in the big chair in the room while I lay in bed. We don't speak, but we both know why he's here. Not just to console. The look we trade says so.

The good thing about having my dad there is that I had no reservations with him. He knows everything about me, and I know I can sob my eyes out with him here, and he won't say a word. It's nice, having the company, even if I know that he's not here just to be my friend. After all, he's been with me through almost everything. He's seen me at my best, and he's seen me at my worst. And this is pretty close to my worst. I cry non-stop. And he just sits there, watching sadly, knowing I have to get through this on my own...but making sure I don't try to get through it the same way I tried to last time.

"But I love him, dad." I finally say after what feels like hours.

"I know, Peeta."

"He can't be gone." I whisper, tears still falling down my face. I feel as if my insides have been crumpled up by a person wearing metal gloves. I want to throw up, but I haven't eaten enough to puke anything up anyway. "I was going to marry him, dad."

"I know, Peeta." He says sadly as I look up at him. "...I know."

"I would give anything in the world to have him back." I shake.

"I know, Peeta."

He stays until nighttime, when I start yawning and my sobs get less and less frequent. Half of me expects him to come in from training any second now...but Cato never comes. I watch my father leave the room, and from that moment on, all I do is stare at the door. Waiting for it to open, and for that beautiful boy from the training center to come in and smile at me just one more time. Please. It's all I'd need. Then I could go see him again happily.

I can't believe I'll never see him alive again.

I miss him already.

I stare for a long time before my mind finally registers that Cato isn't coming in tonight..or tomorrow night..or the night after that. Then, my mind remembers that I have to write in the journal. I said I'd show him, someday.

Day 2:

Cato still isn't back. I wish they'd all just stop telling me that he's dead. He'll be back. We still have to get married, and spend forever together. I told him I'd wait forever. This starts the wait.

Peeta

I put the pad down, shutting my eyes and trying to get sleep. But then, my mind wanders to the last few hours. Our last times together before he left.

The bottom drawer.

A/N: Well...I'm sorry if I broke anyone's hearts with this chapter. Please tell me what you thought, and keep reading to find out what Peeta finds in the drawer. xx