Christian's POV

She was still in doubt whether to come along or not… but she was determined to do so. Ana decided to sit this one out. She said that we'd better have some time alone to reconcile. She was right. I had to make this right… I never thought I would have to discuss my past or explain it for the matter, to my daughter. I wanted to keep her away from this life… but I guess it didn't have to go like that.

'Why didn't mum come?' She asked as she sipped her water.

'She wanted us to have some time…' I smiled back as I continued my ice cream. 'Do you want some?' I offered, trying to get her at least the temptation to have something.

'No thanks…' She smiled as she looked ahead. 'I love this place…' she smiled again.

'It was always your favourite…' I replied as I placed my now almost empty cup beside me. 'Mine too you know… My parents used to make the best camping every month.'

'You camping?' She asked surprised.

'Yeah… surprised?'

'Well… I never took you for the camping type of guy…'

'Well I am a wild guy…' I teased back as she chuckled. 'We used to have so much fun! Then I started making memories with my family here…'

'Jason used to love here… we used to build sand castles and jump… and run…' She continued.

'You miss him don't you?'

'A lot dad…' She admitted.

'We're moving to Aspen next month…' I finally dropped the bomb.

'Ohh…'

'You don't sound excited…'

'I'm not… it's a new home… new place… no memories…'

'No Jason's nursery…' I continued as she looked at me. 'Sera, I know you sometimes sleep in there… I come to check up on you every single night…' I continued as I pulled her to me. '…but don't worry… your mother and I decided to move Jason's nursery with us. He'll have the same room… and everything… We want to keep his memory alive as well… and your room will remain the same unless you want to change it…'

'No… I love it as it is dad… you don't need to go overboard with renovations.' She smiled.

'…but you're having a bigger room… almost twice the size you have now…' I replied as she laughed.

'Dad… you're going overboard!'

'You're smiling…'

'What?'

'You're smiling Sera! I haven't seen you smile in ages…'

'Well… things happened…' She joked.

'Sera… this is not a joke… what you went through… not many can handle it…' I explained. '…and I know you're still dwelling and blaming yourself for it…'

'I'm trying to work past blame…' She looked straight into my eyes.

'I am too…' I admitted. 'Sera… I need to talk to you… confide in you to put it better…' I started. '…but you have to promise me that you won't feel sorry for me… and that you won't look differently at me… What I'm telling you is about my past, which I think may help you…'

'What is it dad?'

'Promise me Sera…'

'Dad… I'm not making any promises… but I can tell you that I'll try…' She answered back. 'If you feel uncomfortable… you shouldn't…'

'I want to… It's time I'll let you know behind this tough persona… I tell you that you keep a mask… and I have been keeping one with you…'

'You're not gay are you?'

'What?' I asked her surprised. It reminded me of the very same question that Ana had asked me back when we started our relationship. 'No… no… I'm not gay…' I laughed. 'Your mother asked me the very same question when I met her.'

'You don't say!'

'Hey I don't look gayish or anything…'

'That is what you say…' She teased. 'Anyhow… what did you want to tell me?'

'I don't know where to start…' I admitted as I remained in quiet. She placed her hand on my shoulder and rubbed it gently.

'Dad… would it make you feel better if I ask?'

'Yes peanut… I think that would help…' I smiled as I kissed her forehead.

Sera's POV

I could see that he wanted to get rid of something… that he wanted to trust me… the least I could do is hear him out.

'Does it have to do with when you were drinking?'

'Yes…' He answered. 'I… It was a very dark time in my life… I felt that everyone was against me… everyone didn't want me… I just couldn't control it… I was violent… I got into fights at school… your grandparents couldn't control me… nobody could for the matter, because no matter how much they grounded me… no matter how much they locked me in my room… I still kept fighting them… I escaped… I once jumped out of my balcony's room…' He started. 'I was suspended from school for over the three times… They almost expulsed me… if…' He stopped.

'If?' I encouraged.

'One time my mother's friend came over for few days with her husband… their house was being fumigated and my mother offered them a roof for a week… it was then that we kind of made friends…'

'What's wrong with that?'

'Give me a second peanut…' He chuckled. 'I swear you are becoming me the more time it goes…' He smiled again. 'I was 15 at that time… We started talking… and I felt comfortable opening up to her… about my fears… my doubts…' He explained. 'Even after they returned to their home… we still remained into contact… and we became closer and closer.'

'How old was she?'

'36…' He answered back. 'I started going to her home… and I enjoyed her company… we used to talk about everything… sex… love… relationships… money… life in general… until one day… I was at her home whilst her husband was still at work… She started kissing me… and… since then… well she explained to be the kind of relationship she wanted…' He continued as he looked straight into my eyes trying to decide whether to continue or not. 'One day she provided me with a contract… She told me it was for my own good… That she'll help me in straightening out myself… I started to believe that it was in my advantage to do so… It was a time where I needed guidance… and I believed that she could give it to me.' He continued. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. '…guidance…' I thought to myself. The exact same words Eric used with me… that's why dad knew about what the contract meant… that is why he freaked out. 'Peanut…are you ok?' He asked me as he searched for my face.

'Uh… yeah…' I quickly cleared my voice. 'Sorry… continue…'

'It's… um… She was my dominant… I was the submissive…' He continued. At that moment… I felt a huge weight on top of me. I had yelled at him that he doesn't understand… that he doesn't know anything… Yet… He went through this at 15 years of age… younger than me… I always wondered why he is like this… I now knew… I could help but feel guilty for my outbursts. 'Sera…' He said again while I simply nodded.

'What happened then?'

'We started meeting every day after school. I used to go to her house while her husband was at work. She used to control me completely… do anything she wanted… from flogging… to belt…'

'What is flogging?'

'Um… it's… a sort of spanking… but a little different…' He explained gently. 'She used to tie me… burn me… role playing… suspensions…' He continued. I could see he was in pain in recollecting his memories.

'Daddy… you can stop if you want…'

'No peanut… I need to tell you this…' He insisted as he pulled me to his chest. 'We would have sex over and over again… fucking… not sex… Sometimes I would have been too tired to even walk or drive back home…' He continued. 'She mummified me… I tried keeping calm as much as I could during those times… I never knew what I was getting myself into when I signed the contract.'

'How did you feel afterwards?'

'I always thought it was the right thing to do… I never knew anything else… that was the only life I knew… and I didn't want to change it… because I believed it was the good thing…'

'How… how did you stop?'

'Her husband came earlier from work one day…and he found us… having sex…' He explained. 'Since then her marriage went down-hill and we decided to stop seeing each other, so that she'll try to fix things with her husband… so she helped me becoming a dom… until her husband divorced her.'

'Dom?' I asked him again.

'A dominant… The one in control… the one says what goes…'

'Like Eric…' I asked surprised. 'So you hit mum?'

'No… no…it's not like that… she gave herself to me… and she agreed to be mine… I… I owned her… but when she came along… She… she changed me… I never wanted anything more but when your mother came into my life… I wanted something better… I wanted love… I wanted everything a normal couple would want… so I changed… I changed for your mother…' He continued explaining. 'When I told your mother about my past – something I never told anyone – she saw her as a child molester.'

'She is a child molester…' I agreed.

'Yeah… I realized than… when she came home and your mother found us in the bedroom. She was trying to seduce me…' He continued. 'I realized that she did inflict pain on me… she was frustrated at everything in her life… and things started to fall in place… the problems in her marriage… the things she hated… and she wanted… I was the cork that served to hold open holes…' He explained. 'I knew this wasn't right… only that… my past didn't stop there…' He continued. 'Before your mother, I had 15 other submissives. Leila was one of them… However she wanted more than that with me… and I chickened out… which I'm glad I did… I would have lost your mother if anything. Since I rejected her, she went down-hill which is what brought her to kill your brother…' He explained. I didn't know what to think in his explanations.

'…but Leila died that night…'

'We all thought so Sera…'

'What do you mean dad?'

'Remember Jacqueline?' He asked me again while I nodded. 'She was Leila… she was working with Elena, Earl and Bradly to destroy us…' He explained.

'…so… Eric…' I started but I couldn't find the words.

'Eric, Earl and Josh were part of the plot… they knew that by getting to you… they would destroy me…' He admitted. 'I always wanted to keep you safe and I didn't know what to do after I found Eric belting you… I just had this deep need to kill him…' He continued as he closed his eyes. 'And then I found out that Elena is Eric's surrogate mother…'

'Dad… why are you telling me this?' I asked him as I avoided his gaze as I dried my eyes.

'…because I know that if you talk to me I can understand you… but you need to open up to me… you need to tell me what Earl and Eric did to you…' He explained.

'No dad… no…' I rejected quickly.

'Why Sera? Why don't you want to let me help you…'

'It's not that I don't want you to help me…'

'Than what Sera? What's holding you back?'

'…because dad you… you'll be disappointed in me…'

'How can I be when you chose to save my life instead of talking? Sera… I want you to understand that I love you and there is no bigger fear than a father losing his daughter… Sera I want to help you… and I want to build our relationship on trust…' He explained as he pulled me down back beside him. He was right… I couldn't hide it or lie to him anymore. I wanted to tell him…

Christian's POV

I knew she was scared… I knew how it felt… It took me years to talk and I'm asking her to talk in a matter of days. But I truly wanted to help her.

'Sera…' I tried again.

'Where do you want me to start?' She finally agreed.

'From where you're comfortable with…'

'Um… remember that day we came back from London?' She asked.

'Yes…'

'That night we met if you recall correctly… and… since the first date he told me that he had to tell me something about him… but he said that I have to wait… that day I asked to tell me and he came forward with the NDA and with the contract…' She started. 'He wanted to try it that same night… but I said no and that I wasn't ready… and he accepted in a way… then on Wednesday when I came to work with you and had that meeting, we met again in the evening… and he asked me if I trust him and that I can't say anything against the contract because I didn't know what it included…' She explained.

'What happened then?' I asked her gently as I held her hand.

'He… um… he took me to his room… and… started kissing me… he said that this was fine that I was getting cold feet and that it all works that way… I wanted to stop… but I wanted him and so I remained… I didn't push him off…' She continued. 'He… he then tied me… and…' She stopped.

'He forced himself into you…' I said in defeat.

'I asked him to stop… I pulled at the ties… but he only hit... I tried resisting… but it didn't work… he still pushed past it… and he still did whatever he wanted…' She admitted. 'When he was ready… he untied me and I made a run to the bathroom. I told him that I didn't want to sign it… that I didn't want this… That I wasn't ready… but he said he'll give me some more time and that he'll test more waters first. I told him that I didn't want… but he said that we'll take it slow… That was the night you found the contract.'

'What happened that time I found you?' I asked her again.

'After mum told me that you found him with someone else… I… I believed her in a way… there was always something that made me think twice about him… but I chose to not follow my gut…' She started. 'I went to talk to him mainly… but instead I found him beaten up… which is probably part of why I believed that he was saying the truth… I thought maybe you threatened him or something to stay away…' She chuckled lightly. '…but… then I found out he's 25 not 20…' she admitted.

'Weren't you scared?'

'I was… and a lot…' She replied. 'Only he said that if you and mum knew his real age you wouldn't let us date because of the age gap… he convinced me… that…' she stuttered. '…that this was the right thing to do… He said that he wanted me to be his… and that if I trust him I should do it… and without actually saying the word yes… he started ordering… and I complied…'

'What happened then?'

'He… he tied me… he spanked me…' She continued as she closed her eyes in pain. 'He said this was normal… and that he wanted to fuck me… and in a matter of seconds… he…' She stopped as I searched for her eyes. 'Then… after he was ready… he pushed me to the floor… and… he brought a lighter… I wanted him to stop… I really did… but one of the rules was that I could never refuse anything.'

'Why didn't you use the safe word?' I asked her.

'What is a safe word?' She asked confused.

'The word you have to say when you have reached your limit…'

'He didn't tell me about any safe word…' She replied.

'What?' I asked her surprised. He deliberately wanted to hurt her… but I had to keep cool right now.. she was opening up.

'I prayed you'd be there dad… that you'll come for me… or else… I'll just close my eyes and won't wake up again…' She admitted as she cried. '… he… pushed himself again… and when he was ready he started belting me again… At that time you came in… and I thought I was dreaming… but I felt relieved you were there…' She explained. '…then when I thought everything ended… Earl… Earl is Earl… and he had to remind me of everything…' She continued. 'I fought him dad… I swear I did…'

'I know honey…' I hugged her tight to me. 'I know…'

'You watched the DVD?' She asked me barely audible.

'Yes… your mother and I did…' I replied back.

'I just…' She started as she cried. 'I wanted this to end and never to be reminded of again… I could never tell you the truth about everything…' She admitted. '…and when he was in your office… he started reminding me of everything… he started touching my cheek…' She continued as she kept stopping to swallow. I realized she was about to throw up. She quickly got up and I followed her until she abruptly stopped and the only thing she had eaten was in front of me. I rubbed her back gently and held her hair back.

'Are you ready?' I asked her gently as I handed her my handkerchief.

'Sorry…' She replied.

'Hey… this was hard for you…' I replied encouraging her. 'You told me everything without having to force you honey…' I continued as I guided her back to our place. 'How do you feel about everything?'

'I haven't figured out as yet…' She admitted.

'Would you like it if I helped you out?'

'I'd like that a lot…' She smiled weakly.

'Sera… there is something else I'd like to talk to you about…' I continued. 'Sera… I know you lied this morning about breakfast and I let it go because I don't want you to feel pressured...' I explained. 'Why did you lie?'

'I wasn't hungry dad… I knew you wouldn't accept my explanation…' She admitted.

'Let me tell you what…' I started. 'What if… whenever you are not hungry you come to me and you tell me… but you don't stop there… we'll figure out together if you're not going to eat because you're really not hungry, or because you want to restrain… What do you think?'

'Will you get angry?'

'No… no more anger… no more blame game… just understanding… like we used to do… unless of course you'll do something that puts your life in danger. Then I'll have to ground you…'

'Ok…' She agreed.

'Ok what baby?'

'Ok I'll start talking to you…' she smiled as she hugged me. 'Thanks dad…'

'I love you peanut…' I told her back as I held her close to me.

'I love you too daddy!'

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