AN: Sorry this is late but writers block paid me a vicious visit along with health problems and it took me a while to get this chapter good enough. I'm still not completely happy, but I know I'll never get this out if I'm waiting for it to be perfect. I know it's not the most action packed chapter compared with my usual dramatics, but it's important character basis. My tall awkward character can only handle so much at once.
Thanks all of you that have reviewed and favorited. Seriously, you guys are the best. Seeing all of that really made me want to get this out all the faster. Let me know what you all think!
Two people didn't jump. Only thirty of us left had made the final leap—ironically—to make it into Dauntless. That meant there were already nine factionless. Twenty-three percent already failed…
The only thing standing around all of these other initiates really made me realize: I had no idea how deal with people.
Standing off to the side by myself, watching everyone jump down, it suddenly occurred to me this was that dreaded moment every kid hated in their life. This was supposed to be my moment to meet my new friends. It wasn't until the last person jumped and rolled off the net, adding to the growing mass of laughing, shouting, and jeering black swarm around me that I noticed I was quite literally the only person standing by myself. Not only was I that weird loner, but as someone's arm brushed up against mine as they shifted, my stomach physically rolled and I became that claustrophobic loner. And there was nowhere I could go. We were standing on a tiny ass platform off the ground.
Like imbeciles.
Crying out above the crowd, Amar silenced everyone with an authority I never would have guess he had. "Alright ladies! Listen up!" Amar shouted, pulling every eye in the room over towards his tall, broad frame. Immediately, everyone fell silent, all turning to stare at his head sticking out above the crowd. "All you lovely new initiates are going to be under either mine or Lauren's care until you become a full member." I craned my head around everyone else's to get a good look at the woman he had gestured to with his thumb. Her hair was dark and I caught a glimpse of some metal in her eyebrow. Rings maybe? "Now that you all chose Dauntless, you better start acting like it. Transfers, this isn't your old faction. Dauntless born, don't make the mistake that this will be easier for you. With that in mind, Lauren will be leading you. Now, get moving!"
With a murmur the crowd pushed forward and for a second I could breathe again. Sucking in a few deep breaths, I lagged behind, knowing no one would be getting anywhere fast. I needed the space, the distance between us. I needed to breathe.
Over to the side someone had pulled Amar down, their face hidden on the other side of his head as they said something to him. As I held my breath waiting for the crowd to filter down the stairs I stared hard at them as a distraction.
Whoever he was, the man was ripped. Something deep in my gut made me pause looking at him. My eyes trailed over his defined biceps, showcased by his sleeveless shift, and I felt something ease in my temples. The feeling washed over me, relaxing, and I let myself bask in it for a second. For a moment I let my brain completely obsessed about this unknown and unimportant man to keep my mind steady as someone bumped into me as they passed. It wasn't until I looked close that I noticed there was a strange tension—was that even the word for it?—between the two of them. The lax in his posture seemed so different from the tense pull of Amar's shoulders as everyone pushed by, completely oblivious. The man had one arm casually around his shoulder too keep him close. A vice? A friendly gesture? Even from across the platform I could see the hardness in Amar's face. As the mystery man pulled back, I got a good look at his strong jaw and straight nose. His hair was buzzed along the sides, a dirty blonde on the top.
I tensed as his eyes flickered over. Heat rushed to my face at being caught, and I quickly darted my gaze back to the others.
What was that all about?
Shoving the thought aside, I told myself it didn't matter. Realistically, I knew it didn't matter. For all I knew, the two could be friends and just chatting it up over the noise. Because friends talk like that. Even if it was something more, in the end, it wasn't any of my business.
Shaking my head, I rubbed my neck, pushing myself to join the crowd. Apparently not fast enough because Amar's voice called out over everyone, "Hey! Hurry up Newbie."
If that wasn't enough to make me blush, feeling the others man's eyes still on me had me tucking tail and running.
We were all led down a tunnel, the walls stone and the ceiling sloping making it seem like I was walking deep into a dank dungeon. The air was slightly musty, a natural dampness to it that covered everything. I shivered the further down we went. This deep in the ground the air was cold. My wet clothes did little to warm me up; already I could feel my fingers shaking. This was almost as cold as Julie's house—not quite; I don't think anything could actually beat the frigid air Julie breathed—but it was close. There weren't that many lights, only sparsely place blue lanterns that cast an eerie glow on everything. Being in the back with no one else to talk to only made me more aware of Amar following behind me taking up the rear. I could feel him watching me.
I pulled up short as everyone stopped where the tunnel we were in branched off in a few directions. Lauren—I assumed—shouted above everyone. "Now, Dauntless born are with me. All of you transfers will be with Amar. He'll show you around. Come on now."
The crowd broke apart, a majority of people breaking off to follow Lauren off the tunnel to the right. Amar shifted by me without a word. I tensed as I felt him pass. As he stepped more into the light where the other nine people were huddled, a bright smile crossed his face.
"Come on guys. I've got a few places I want to show you before dinner. Keep up!"
Amar took us down the other hallway, towards a shadow. Again I hung towards the back where I could keep an eye on everyone and I noticed everyone seemed to hesitate for a second before following. Only when Amar pushed through double doors and light shines through did everyone eagerly move forward to catch up.
Apparently the Dauntless compound wasn't a good place to be if someone was afraid of the dark. I couldn't help but wonder if Dauntless was built especially for that. After all, they were all about bravery. Maybe it was their way to face their fear.
Who knows?
"This here is the Pit. It's going to be a main common area for all of you so you'd better get used to it. Everything you might need you can find here."
Stepping through the doors, I looked around in a sense of awe. The room was giant. The ceiling stretched up high, showing through what had to be the floor of a building up above and the glass roof separating us from the sky. It was no wonder I didn't notice the compound before. Outside it must look like any other building up on the surface. Light poured down on the uneven rock walls, rising floors above and below my head. Throughout the room there were various nooks and crannies that had been carved in for what looked to be stores. Between all of them ran a series of narrow paths and steps carved from the rock itself. Edgeless.
There was the fear of falling.
People were running around, kids recklessly dodging the uneven floors and sharp walls while others moved and clustered into groups. Their voices drifted up towards us, echoing impossibly loud. Everything here was loud.
Right in the middle was a roaring fire. It had to be at least six feet across if not more and the flames licked high in brilliant reds, yellows, and oranges. No one seemed to mind the heat or the crackling of the wood. I stared, mesmerized for a moment. In Erudite, no one was allowed having open flames. They were dangerous. Pointless. Why have fire when solar generated electricity could do everything just the same? I couldn't remember the last time I'd actually seem an open flame.
"What's up with the fire?" a boy named Hunter asked from near the edge. His voice was deep and harsh, a natural rasp cutting into his words. "Isn't it a little dangerous to have an open flame?"
Amar looked down at him, his eyes passionate. Looking around at all of us, he said, "That's the Eternal Flame. No matter what, it never goes out. It's a reminder of the fire that's inside each and every one of us as well as our power." He looked back at Hunter who shrunk back a little at his intense look. "All Dauntless respect the flames."
Hunter nodded quickly, adverting his gaze. Amar looked over everyone else. Seemingly pleased with what he saw, he nodded and grinned again, his aloof personality back. "Come with me."
Picking one of the paths, Amar lead us down towards the Pit and over towards one of the darker areas off to the side. The area narrowed out into a tunnel, winding slightly. The closer we got the louder it became. I could hear rushing water roaring fiercely over rocks, echoed a thousand fold from bouncing off the rocks. Blinking rapidly, I tried forcing my eyes to adjust to the dark. The floor cut off in an iron barrier and as I weaved closer to the front, I came up to a railing that hung over two sections of the same river. One rushed hard and fast. White foam spat up making the metal slick under my feet. On the other side the water calmed, moving silently down as a dark slithering snake. It had to be at least a dozen feet or so down. Enough someone would probably drown if they slipped and fell.
Fear of drowning: check.
This place really does want everyone to face their fears, I thought with a slight frown. I couldn't help but wonder what I was afraid of.
"This is the Chasm," Amar shouted. "It serves as a reminder of the fine line between bravery and stupidity. If you jump, you die, end of story. Think about that before you go to do something stupid, alright? People have jumped before and I'm sure more will."
I stared down at the churning water. It was hard to image anyone would willingly jump off this place. Drowning seemed like such a bad way to go. Ripped underneath the surface by the current, lungs burning as oxygen deficit made their very cells fill with hydrogen gas and burst as their body weakened and mussels refused to function properly. Then once the brain went into overdrive someone would open their mouth and breath in water in their desperation and flood their body.
No. I would never want to die by drowning. Slow. Painful. Nasty business. I think I would rather jump off a building, make it quick.
"Alright," Amar clapped. Everyone attention snapped back to him. It was disconcerting seeing the smile on his face, as if we weren't standing where he said people killed themselves. "Who's hungry?"
The cafeteria was another gaping hole on the opposite side of the Pit. By the light radiating form it, it looked well lit compared to the rest of the building. As everyone drew closer in I heard it. People shouting. Cheering. Stomping feet and the clang of rails. For a moment I felt slightly blinded walking into the light, but then I saw them too.
Dauntless. They're cheering us. Smiling.
Fear of crowds. Got it.
Despite the chill I felt with everyone's beady eyes staring down at me, I forced myself to smile and look around, even if it was strained. These people were cheering for me. Because I made it. I should be happy. All of these people were family now. Not Julie. Not Erudite. Here. Now. The coil in my chest barely loosened.
"Welcome to Dauntless." Craning my head up, I saw Max standing up above everyone along a catwalk that surrounded the entire room. Even across the room I could see him smiling at us. "Let me be the first to congratulate all of you. By coming here, you've chosen to accept the responsibility and well being of everyone else in the city. In Dauntless we look out for each other. To pass inneciation you will have to be strong. More than that, you will have to be brave."
He paused, looking over everyone again. The room was deathly silent, all eyes trained on him. Shifting, my skin burned feeling him staring down at us, watching. The pressure weighed down on me. Then in a second, it was gone.
Max smiled. "Now that you have made it, eat and enjoy yourselves. Tomorrow you will officially begin your initiate into Dauntless. This is your home now."
Watching everyone else move forward to find a spot to sit, I stood back and stared at everything around me, shocked by just how loud this place was. At the end of Max's speech the crowd roared back to life again, louder if possible. People were shoved along the catwalk up above, waving and grinning down at us. There had to be more seating or something up there, but from what I could tell everyone was packed between the picnic tables that lined the whole room, food was already placed on each table in the middle.
Before anyone else could realize how silly they were grinning there under the glow of the welcoming, I quickly located the nearest empty seat along a table and slid in. Standing up and listening to people shout at me was not something I wanted to do. Two Dauntless were already sitting there at the other end. Their beaming grins were actually terrifying, but I nodded towards them with what I hoped was a friendly smile. I never felt so awkward sliding into a seat away from them.
If they thought I was going to sit over there and talk to them, they had another things coming.
"Hey," a voice chimed over my shoulder. Flinching, I knocked my knee on the table, pain lancing up my leg. By now the roar had calmed. I turned around, coming face-to-face with three other people—two girls and one guy.
The guy I'd saved from earlier.
Wonderful.
"Is it alright if we sit with you?" the same girl asked again. It was the taller girl—Rebecca, I think Amar said her name was. Her voice was surprisingly harsh and deep. Nothing like what I would have expected from someone who looked like her.
Her hair was long and dark, pulled up into a high ponytail that still fell down her back and her skin seemed to shine a golden bronze from all of the rain we'd been in. Even as a girl, I had to admit she was beautiful in the natural way that made me hate her a little bit inside. It wasn't until she flicked her hair over her shoulder that a budding feeling of distaste bloomed in my chest. She was the popular, preppy kind.
Pass.
"Uh, yeah." I answered before I recognized the words coming out of my mouth. "Sure."
The three of them sat down, but the girl who spoke grinned broadest. "Thanks! My name's Rebecca, but you can call me Becca. This is Samantha and Ian." She gestured to each of them in turn, giving me an excuse to look them over. My mind locked on the first jumper out of instinct. Her dark eyes were staring fiercely back.
Samantha was tiny, her soaking wet clothes doing nothing to hide the frail frame underneath. There was no way she was sixteen like the rest of us. Still, her flaming curly red hair made her sharp features bold and strong. She offered me a small smile that didn't reach her eyes.
"Sam," she offered simply, sticking out her hand.
I liked her instantly.
"Ayra," I nodded, clasping her hand in mind. My fingers almost curled all the way around it.
Ian's hand shot out in my vision before I could even turn towards him, and my stomach twisted as I looked over at him. He was average height, his head stopping roughly around my chin if I had to guess, but he was nearly twice as wide as me. There was no other way to say it. He looked like a box: broad and sturdy. If anything it was his eyes that made me shift uncomfortably as I realized he was staring intently with an expression I couldn't name yet.
Still holding out his hand, he offered an awkward lopsided grin. "Hey, uh, thanks for earlier. I wouldn't be here if you hadn't caught me."
Gratitude. That was the look. Something withered in my stomach and I felt sick all over again.
Underneath his intense gaze I could feel the distance closing between us. My collar suddenly felt too tight and my palms were getting clammy. I stared down at his hand, finding the offering so strange despite having done it a million times before. I must have hesitated to long.
"Really," he continued, and I had to look him in the eye. I regretted it the second I did. His bright blue eyes were so pure. There was nothing strong enough to pull me away from that. "Thanks. I owe you."
I slipped on my own mask, falling into the lies I was so good at hiding behind. "Don't worry about it."
As the only Erudite surrounded by nearly all of the Candors I wasn't sure what else I could do but pray none of them caught on.
Rebecca smiled wide, her teeth too bright. "I'm surprised you're not sitting with the other people from Erudite."
My treacherous eyes slipped over towards the other table the transfers had claimed. As I scanned over Luke and Sean, my eyes fell on the vicious tank of a man shoveling into a burger. Aaron. He was by far the largest transfer.
I couldn't tell which table I'd be safer at.
Not wanting to be the person to turn on the other initiates first, I shrugged noncommittally and started loading up my own plate. "It's not like you're sitting with all of the Candors either." I could practically hear the choked silence.
Wrong thing to say, my mind hissed.
Our gazes locked and I held my ground.
Sam snorted and the tension broke. Glancing over at the small girl, I raised an eyebrow. She grinned, "Here I thought you were only so pleasant with people from your own fraction."
Choking awkwardly on my drink, I winced. Well, that was direct. Becca raised an eyebrow. Ian looked slightly concerned. I patted my chest a few times before finally offering a shrug. What else was I supposed to say to that?
"Like you're one to talk," Becca muttered under her breath.
Sam rolled her eyes and I hid my grin by taking a drink, but her eyes told me she saw it all the same.
Thankfully the three of them turned to a much lighter conversation. They were reminiscing about their old faction. Candor was something I would never understand, and honestly I had no desire. Honesty had never been a policy of mine. There was no reason to start now.
All around us people where laughing and practically shouting to each other, a pleasant loud roar always filling the silence. I gazed around noticing all of the smiling faces, each covered in different piercings and tattoos. Every now and then I'd see a splash of color in the midst of the black, sometimes various obnoxious hair and other times pictures and shapes on skin. All together it was overwhelming. Erudite was never this loud, never this carefree. There was no time to sit around and chat at lunch when there was work to do, puzzles to solve, and problems to fix.
The noise was starting to hurt my head again. A slight throb was already forming behind my eye again. The second I finished my food I stood with a slight clatter.
"You okay?" Ian asked, caught mid-bite.
I nodded, giving them a smile. "I'm just going to get some space."
"Where you going?"
Taking a calming breath I stared down at her, easily dwarfing her where she sat. "To look around a bit."
Shifting under my gaze, she nodded, murmuring something about trying not to get lost. Just to be sure none of them would try to follow me, I scanned them again, nodding as I met Sam's eyes and smiling tightly at Ian.
No one else noticed me slip silently out the room.