A/N: Oh god. Endless thanks to sinanna for being the effing best beta ever. Your brilliant ideas, your great writing skills - love everything about working with you, seriously. THANK YOU.
Also: nayleyjun, going to dedicate this one to you. you're one of my most faithful readers and I suppose you're gonna like one particular part in here ;)
4 chapters to go...
xxxx
Chapter 11
It was the 24th of December and Brittany woke up with a smile on her face. She loved Christmas. And she loved Christmas with Santana.
The year before she had spent the holidays alone with her mom, still heartbroken because of their break up. Of course the circumstances this year weren't perfect either and part of Brittany was aware of the fact that this might be the last Christmas she and Santana would spend together - still she wouldn't let this ruin her mood. She was going to make sure that they had a great time, enjoying the Christmas spirit to its fullest.
It was a Monday and Brittany placed a quick kiss on Santana's forehead before jumping out of bed and getting ready. She was waiting for one particular Amazon delivery - their Christmas tree.
While she was waiting for the parcel service, Brittany started preparing breakfast and texted with Quinn. Their friend had gone back to New Haven about a week ago but she had promised to come visit as often as possible. The three of them had spent a few more days together after their trip to Vegas and already now Brittany was missing her. She was more than happy to have Quinn back in their lives and she knew Santana felt the same way.
She put on some cheerful Christmas music and nibbled on one of the snowman shaped cookies Santana and she had baked together the previous night. Then the doorbell finally rang.
The packet was huge and rather heavy and Brittany had trouble carrying the thing upstairs. When she finally managed to free the tree from its cardboard and styrofoam, she looked at the pink branches with a satisfied smile on her face.
"I see we have a tree..." Santana said as she came into the living room, wiping some last bits of sleep out of her tired eyes.
"It looks awesome, San!" Brittany chirped happily, jumping on her feet to walk over to Santana and place a good morning kiss on her girlfriend's lips.
"Wanna help me decorate it?"
"Do you even have to ask?" Santana replied, grinning, before quickly searching for the box with tree decorations.
Brit Brit and Santana's X-Mas Stash was written on it in crayon with a few colorful drawings next to it. It made Santana smirk.
They put the tree in the middle of their living room and started wrapping different light chains and garlands around the branches. Already now the tree looked chaotic, considering that most colors looked rather crazy if you combined them with pink, but they didn't care. It was their tree, and to them it looked more than charming.
Brittany was wearing a reindeer sweater and had to smile at the fact that Santana had put on a pullover with red and white stripes. Her girlfriend had never been a big fan of Christmas outfits but this year Brittany didn't even have to ask for it.
When 'All I Want for Christmas Is You' started playing on the stereo, Santana started singing along and Brittany felt her insides turn warmer. It had been so long since she had last heard her sing and she had missed the sound of her beautiful voice.
Santana hadn't realized that Brittany had stopped decorating and was just sitting there on the floor, hugging her knees in front of her chest to enjoy her girlfriend's singing. Only when she started looking for some purple Christmas tree baubles in the box did she notice Brittany's lack of motion and the blue eyes that were fixed on her. She blushed.
"Hey, you getting lazy?" Santana asked, smiling shyly.
"Don't stop singing..." Brittany replied. "It's beautiful."
"Err... thanks..." Santana mumbled and Brittany quickly joined the chorus to avoid any potential awkwardness.
"Can we put the Christmas duck on top?" she asked grinning and Santana nodded.
"Of course."
When the box was empty, the two of them stared at the result in all its shining glory. Pink, purple, blue, yellow, red... a real rainbow tree. Brittany loved it.
"Should we put the presents underneath?" Santana asked and Brittany bit her lower lip.
"Um... actually... I can't."
"Oh, I see, you didn't get me anything..." Santana replied teasingly, holding back a grin.
"Of course I did!" Brittany pouted. "...but I can't put it there. Not yet."
"Fair enough" Santana said, shrugging. "Mine isn't exactly shaped like a real gift either..."
With that she disappeared in the bedroom, quickly returning with an envelope wrapped in a huge red bow. She put it under the tree anyway and stepped next to Brittany, taking her hand in her own.
"We're gonna have great holidays" Santana stated and Brittany nodded, squeezing her girlfriend's hand.
Santana felt nervous as they were standing in front of the Pierce's house, waiting for Brittany's mother to open the door.
Her father was, as was so often the case, on a business trip in Bangkok. Santana knew Brittany hated it when he was gone over the holidays. Thankfully the first few snowflakes had started falling earlier that day, so at least Brittany was happy about the possibility that she might be able to build a snow woman with Santana later that night.
When the door finally swung open, Santana tried her best not to tear up. She loved Eliza Pierce almost as much as she loved her daughter. The woman had always treated her as if she were part of the family and she had spent countless nights at their place when they were younger. She hadn't seen the woman in over a year, yet Eliza was looking at her with so much warmth in her eyes, Santana felt relieved. It was like coming home.
"Santana... god, it's so good to see you. C'mere!" Brittany's mother exclaimed, happily wrapping her arms around her daughter's girlfriend.
"It's good to see you too," Santana smiled, enjoying the hug while it lasted.
"Oh lord, you're making an old woman cry. Let me just say - I was so mad at you and Brittany for breaking up because it meant I didn't get to see you anymore" Eliza blathered, still squeezing Santana a little harder than necessary. "I made your favorite casserole. You still like my casserole, don't you? I left out the garlic, so you and Brittany can totally kiss and - "
"Thank you!" Santana interrupted the older woman before she could take the explanation any further. "I've been craving that casserole for months, Liz."
"Perfect" the mother replied, ruffling Santana's hair. "Love the new style. Let's go inside. Hi sweetheart!"
"Hi mom" Brittany answered smiling, giving Eliza a peck on her cheek.
The room already smelled like food and Bing Crosby's voice was filling the air with some classic Christmas tunes. The table was set, candles were lit, presents were wrapped. Just as in good old times.
Eliza was filling each of their glasses with a bit of red wine before disappearing in the kitchen to get the food out of the oven.
Santana smiled at Brittany, taking a sip of her drink as she heard the first few words of 'Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas' playing on the stereo. By far her favorite song.
She wished she had appreciated these holidays a little more when she had still had the chance. She wished she had made the past years more magical for both of them.
Now she was running out of time.
Santana swallowed.
What had she done last year? What had she been thinking?
She had been lying on her couch, watching Mission Impossible on DVD without really paying attention to it. There had been no decorations; there had been no food. She had been bitter.
At some point in the late evening her phone had rung, her mother's name showing up on the display. Christmas and her birthday had been the only days Gloria had tried to call her since their big fight, but Santana had never had the strength to pick up. Especially not after getting her diagnosis. The topic had been done for her, once and for all, but now... now things were different.
She had come back to life, had given herself another chance at happiness.
And she was looking at Brittany's mother, watching her hug her daughter, watching them giggle - and as much as she loved both of them, she missed her own family.
"Sweetheart, what's on your mind?" Eliza queried when she realized that Santana hadn't touched her casserole.
"Nothing..." Santana started, picking with her fork at the food. "It's just that... I'm truly happy to be here, but..."
"You're missing your mom" Eliza finished for her as if it were the most obvious conclusion on earth.
"Yes... I mean, no... you've been like a mother to me, Liz..." Santana explained, "I just feel as if... I'm wondering if it's too late for me to... to make things right."
Brittany was squeezing her leg under the table while her mother was shaking her head, smiling.
"Santana... let me tell you this from a mother's perspective..." She put her own fork down and looked Santana straight in the eye. "There is no point in time a mother stops loving her own daughter. If I were in Gloria's position, the whole situation would be killing me. I know you both have said things that you regret and that were hurtful, but I know for sure that she thinks of you every day, hoping you will show up on her doorstep or give her a call."
Santana's gaze dropped as she shook her head, sighing.
"I don't know... I've hurt her... and... how much is it going to hurt her to hear that..."
She couldn't finish the sentence, the big lump in her throat making it hard to swallow.
Brittany was still stroking her thigh and Santana grabbed her hand under the table, needing the touch for comfort.
"It's going to be rough for her, no doubt about that," Eliza started again, pouring some more wine into everyone's glass. "But Santana, she will find out, sooner or later. And in this case, sooner is definitely better than later. Look at me, Sweetie."
Santana swallowed hard, meeting Eliza's eyes again which were as teary as her own.
"Give her another chance. I'm not saying do it right now, I'm not even saying you should do it tomorrow or this week, but at least consider it. Give her a chance to make things right, to be a good mom to you for at least a little while longer. To hug you and comfort you. That's what moms are for, you know? We put our babies into this world for a reason... we want them to be all right. And even if we don't always agree with the choices they make or the things that they do, even if they drive us crazy sometimes - we want nothing more in the world than to be there for them and to know that we've done everything in our power to make them happy."
Santana blushed when she realized a tear was rolling down her cheek.
"It's just that... in the past weeks... things have become so different... I... I think I've changed. Brittany changed me..." Santana looked at her girlfriend, smiling shyly. "Yeah, you did..." she whispered.
"I mean, I've accepted my disease... I've accepted what's going to happen... but somehow I can't accept the thought of leaving this place without having sorted out things with my family first..."
"Santana... that's good, but don't do it with the cancer in the back of your head... don't let that be your only motivation..." Eliza said slowly. "Do it because of your family and because you miss them. It's still your life, Sweetie, it's not just a big to-do list of things that need to be handled... do it because it's what you feel is right for you, and do it when you're ready. Don't pressure yourself. And we're both here for you, you know that."
Yeah, Santana knew where her girlfriend got her big heart from.
"Thank you."
xxxx
Brittany was staring at the Christmas tree in front of them, leaning over to kiss Santana's cheek. Santana had to smile at the gesture, glad to be cuddling up on the couch and ending Christmas Eve with just the two of them.
The way home had been nice. It had snowed a little more, and even if it wasn't enough to build a snow woman, it had still been enough to cover the streets in a pretty sparkling white that looked amazing with all those beautiful Christmas decorations in their neighborhood. Enough to cause that amazing creaking sound under her shoes as she walked. And enough to put a smile on her girlfriend's face.
She was reflecting on the evening and their time with Brittany's mom and it was so weird to think that her time was limited. That she wouldn't be having Christmas dinner at the table in the Pierce's dining room five or six years from now... maybe not even next year. That they would be living their lives without her. That she'd be nothing more than a memory.
Eliza would be a great grandmother, Santana was sure of that. She would love to see the woman take care of her own child, spoil him or her with silly presents and teach the little Pierce-Lopez some of her wise views on life and love. It hurt like hell to think about it, but Santana truly hoped Brittany was going to have children one day, simply because the kid would be more than lucky to grow up around the two most lovable and kind-hearted women she knew.
And maybe they would tell the kid about her. That there was once this girl named Santana Lopez and that she could be a bitch and a pain in the ass, but that they missed her. And that she would have loved to get to know him or her. Maybe they'd tell the little one some funny stories from when she and Brit had been young... and maybe she'd still be a part of their lives, even if it was only sometimes, over dinner or during Scrabble nights.
She squeezed Brittany's hand a little harder.
Part of her hoped that being dead really meant simple darkness. That she'd just be gone. Because she didn't think she'd want her soul to be floating around in space, having to watch people live their lives. She'd miss Brittany too fucking much. Too much for words.
Santana let her mind drift back to earlier in the evening...
"So..." Eliza cleared her throat. "I think I'm gonna put on my favorite Rock Christmas sampler, what do you say?" she said grinning.
Brittany's mother was no fan of sadness or bad mood. And it was truly hard to stay sad around her.
"Brit, honey, will you go into the living room and push the furniture aside? I wanna dance to 'Run, Run, Rudolph' with my two favorite girls. Shake off those bad holiday calories."
"Sure!" Brittany replied, nodding and smiling, before running over to her mother and whispering something into her ear that Santana couldn't understand.
Eliza replied something and gave her daughter a wink before laughing in Santana's direction.
Santana ran her fingertips up and down Brittany's arm before softly nudging her shoulder.
"So what was that whispering about earlier?" she asked her, trying to sound casual and not as curious as she felt.
Brittany shifted nervously in her seat, avoiding her gaze.
"Whispering?" she replied, pretending not to know what Santana meant.
"Oh come on, Britts. First you and your mom whisper and laugh, then Eliza starts distracting me with her joss stick collection and you disappear. By the way, did you know she has joss sticks that smell like weed? Just sayin'..."
Brittany started giggling. "Okay, okay, you got me... well..." she looked at her watch. "It's almost midnight, so we might as well start now."
"Start with what?" Santana queried before realizing it was almost officially time for their gifts.
"I wanna give you your present!" Brittany stated and Santana laughed.
"Okay then, I must say I'm a little curious..."
"Gimme a sec!" Brittany chirped and ran out of the room.
Santana waited patiently, then her eyes widened when she saw Brittany coming into the room, carrying a medium-sized basket with a big bow. She could see that her girlfriend was careful not to drop it, walking over to the couch on tiptoes.
"Merry Christmas, San..." she whispered, putting the basket down between them.
Santana looked inside and frowned before realizing what she was looking at.
"He's asleep..." Brittany added, smiling, and Santana felt her heart beat a little faster.
It was a tiny kitten, snoozing peacefully, wrapped in a fluffy red blanket. Its fur was light brown with some dark brown stripes, it looked almost like …
"I thought we could name him 'Tiger'!"
Santana grinned. Yeah. A tiger.
"I think 'Tigger' might be more fitting, actually..." she replied, carefully petting the small cat's head with her index finger.
"A real tiger was really hard to get" Brittany pouted. "I called a few different zoos but all they offered me was a sponsorship for one of their old Asian tigers or their polar bears..."
"I love him, Brit..." Santana whispered, swallowing. "He's so small..."
"He's only a few weeks old" Brittany said smiling. "He's gonna be our baby."
Santana nodded. "Thank you so much, Brit. Really."
"You're welcome, and I'm so happy you like it. Actually I've got the whole trunk full of equipment. Food, toys, a cat tree..."
"He's gonna have a good life here," Santana told her with a wink. "...but now... I still have something for you."
She got up to grab the envelope that was still lying under the tree, her hand shaking slightly as she handed it over to Brittany.
"Please tell me if you hate it. Really, be honest, it's okay if you don't want to, I mean -"
"San!" Brittany interrupted her. "I haven't even opened it yet."
"Right. Sorry."
Brittany carefully unwrapped the bow and extracted a little piece of paper from the envelope, slowly unfolding it. She read what was written on it and Santana could see the emotions change on Brittany's features.
"San, that's... it's..."
"A coupon for a tattoo, yes." Santana finished for her. "And I understand if you don't wanna do it, I mean, you never said that you wanted a tattoo... I just thought it... it would connect us..."
Santana had spent a long time thinking about what she wanted her tattoo to look like. She knew it was about time that she herself started taking a point on the list into her own hands. Designing her own tattoo was the obvious choice.
But she didn't want anything too simple... She didn't just want something tribal or some ugly tramp stamp. She wanted it to mean something to her. And there was nothing in the world that meant more to her than Brittany.
She had thought about getting Brittany's first name tattooed on her chest, but then decided that this was silly and not very creative. A portrait? No. Definitely not, they usually turned out super creepy.
Then, one afternoon while Brittany had been out running errands, a new thought had hit her. She didn't want a tattoo on her chest, not on her arm... she wanted it to be on her pinky finger. And she wanted the other part to be on Brittany's.
She had taken a piece of paper and tried out a few phrases, a few different designs, but then decided to go for the most personal thing she could think of. Her own handwriting on Brittany's finger, and Brittany's handwriting on hers.
"What do you want the tattoo to say?" Brittany asked, searching Santana's eyes.
Santana cleared her throat, her cheeks turning hot.
"I thought about... 'Love forever … unbroken by distance'." She cleared her throat again. "Do you.. um... do you like it? Please, be honest."
"It's perfect, Santana" Brittany whispered. "I'd be honored."
Santana felt as if a heavy weight had just fallen off her chest and she laughed, quickly wiping away some tears with the back of her sleeve.
"It's the most beautiful Christmas gift you've ever given me..." Brittany added before wrapping her arms around Santana.
"I love you," Santana told her and Brittany placed a kiss on her shoulder, mumbling "I love you too."
Santana carefully put the basket with the sleeping Tigger on the floor before looking at Brittany again. She was so beautiful and somehow she felt silly for having been so distant in the past weeks. She could see it in her eyes, could see that the woman in front of her loved her more than anything in this world and she didn't know why she had been so insecure all this time.
Not once Brittany had acted weird around her or made her feel uncomfortable, in fact she had done everything in her power to be there for her and make her smile every single day.
She didn't know what to say, how to express what she felt in this moment, so she just leaned over to kiss her once more, closing her eyes to enjoy the feeling of her girlfriend's lips against her own.
Brittany's lips parted right away and Santana deepened the kiss, sighing softly.
Her hand was lying on Brittany's thigh, slowly caressing it as she let her fingertips run up and down her girlfriend's leg.
She could feel her heart beating faster in her chest, nervous about what was going to happen. All she knew was that she wanted to be close to her, wanted to touch her, wanted to feel Brit's skin against her own. She wasn't sure when the last time was that she had felt it so strongly, the need to be with her. The need to be one.
"I want to make love to you..." she whispered against Brittany's lips, cupping her cheek with her hand as she let her thumb slowly run along her chin.
Brittany pulled away for a second, her blue eyes searching for some kind of final confirmation.
Santana nodded, smiling shyly, and Brittany smiled back at her before grabbing the hem of her own shirt and pulling it over her head in one fluid movement.
Santana bit her lower lip at the sight in front of her. Her girlfriend in jeans and a purple bra, looking at her with flushed cheeks and pouty lips, chest heaving slightly.
She quickly got rid of her own shirt before moving closer and placing soft kisses along Brittany's cleavage. She took Brittany's hands in hers, entangling their fingers, as she let her tongue run along her collarbone, appreciating every inch of soft porcelain skin.
Santana pushed one purple strap off Brittany's shoulder, caressing the exposed skin with her lips, before slowly reaching around her girlfriend's body to unclasp her bra.
The living room felt hot but all Santana could think was that she felt alive. Truly alive for the first time in months.
Brittany moaned softly when Santana's mouth closed around one of her nipples, nibbling and sucking, and Santana could feel her hand on her neck, grabbing a fistful of brown hair as she was urging her on.
It felt as if nothing had changed, it still felt as if Brittany were her perfect counterpart. The way their bodies moved together so easily had always amazed her and she knew she could let herself go. Completely.
Brittany was stroking Santana's hair, smiling, as she herself opened Santana's bra and pushed her softly against the sofa.
"You're so beautiful..." Brittany whispered. "I love you so much."
If she had thought her heart had been beating fast before, it was nothing compared to the hammering in her chest as she noticed Brittany fumbling with the fly of her pants. She could feel her fingertips against her belly and the excitement was driving her crazy.
"I've missed this..." Santana breathed out. "I hadn't realized how much I truly missed this."
Brittany smiled as she slowly opened the zipper, kissing her way down to Santana's belly button and slowly pulling the jeans down her girlfriend's legs.
She kissed her way up again, caressing the inside of Santana's thighs in the process, before quickly removing her own pants and underwear.
Her blonde hair was falling into her face as she carefully moved on top of Santana, kissing her and parting her legs with her own thigh.
Their kisses had become more passionate and Santana couldn't wait to feel her finally. She took Brittany's hand and slowly led it down between her legs, not once breaking their gaze.
Brittany didn't need more encouragement than that, one of her fingers slowly disappearing into Santana's panties.
"Ohh.." Santana sighed, pressing her eyes shut at the feeling of her girlfriend's fingertip against her clit.
She was stroking her softly, up and down, and Santana knew she must be extremely aroused, considering how easily Brittany's finger caressed her most sensitive spot.
It felt as if her whole body were on fire, all senses on overload. How long had it been? Too fucking long.
Santana kissed her hungrily, bucking her hips, wishing she'd go a little faster, wishing she'd fill her up completely. Already now her fingernails were digging into Brittany's back and they had just started.
She figured Brittany could sense how impatient she was as she finally pushed a finger inside, slowly, going deeper inch by inch. Santana held her close, pressed her body against Brittany's, before dragging her head down to whisper into her ear.
"Brit... don't worry... I'm not gonna break..."
If Brittany was holding back because she thought it might be too much for Santana, then she had to prove her wrong. She didn't feel tired or exhausted; part of her felt like her old self again. Like the Santana she had wanted to be but who had disappeared somewhere into a dark and bitter hole. But not now. Not tonight.
Brittany smiled, nodding, before adding another finger and pushing it all the way in, a little faster, a little harder than before.
"Ohh.. yes. Yes. Like that."
Santana soon started panting, eyes closed again, as she focused on the amazing feeling of being as close to her girlfriend as possible. She wanted this moment to last forever.
She pushed her own leg up, slowly rubbing it against Brittany's wet center as her eyes fluttered open again. She wanted to see her. Wanted to see the look on her face as she moaned, the passionate sparkle in her pretty blue eyes as she rubbed herself against her.
And Brittany did just that, finding her own rhythm as she started riding Santana's leg, her fingers still trying to bring Santana closer to the edge.
Brittany knew her body so well, even after all this time. She knew exactly how to satisfy her, knew exactly what she loved, what would make her eyes roll back into her head.
"You're so hot. Fuck, I love you. I've missed you. Love you so much" she panted against Santana's neck, her breath hot against her skin.
Her thumb was on Santana's clit, her hips moving faster, her moans shorter.
Santana realized she had almost forgotten that this was the best part of having sex with Brittany - watching her getting close, watching her come undone. And the fact that she was the one who brought her there, that she was the cause of that pleasure, it never ceased to amaze her.
"I'm so close... I'm gonna... I..."
"Me too, Brit..." Santana whispered, pulling Brittany in for another kiss. She pressed her lips on hers as hard as she could, muffling a deep groan as her own orgasm washed over her. Oh fuck. Why hadn't they done this sooner? Why?
It felt as if her body were leaving the sofa, every tiny muscle in her body tensing at once, mixed with this one particular indescribable feeling. And she was sharing it with the one person who meant everything to her. What could be better? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Brittany just lay on top of her for several minutes, trying to catch her breath, and Santana enjoyed the feeling of the sweat slowly cooling her skin.
Why couldn't she just stop time? Why couldn't she just stay with her like this, forever, her arms wrapped around Brittany's exhausted body, softly stroking her back, kissing her forehead, listening to her breathing?
Brittany raised her head to look at her, smiling, her eyes a little tired. She kissed her nose.
"That was amazing. So good. If I weren't so tired I'd totally want to do it again."
Santana laughed, kissing her once more.
"I promise we'll do it again tomorrow morning. And tomorrow afternoon. And tomorrow night. And the day after tomorrow."
"I like the sound of that!" Brittany stated, smiling brightly.
"But oh my god, now I'm so hungry... do you mind if I warm up some of the leftovers in the microwave? Do you want some?"
"Let me fix it for you!" Santana suggested, getting up to walk over to the kitchen. She didn't even think about putting on clothes anymore.
Brittany smiled as her eyes ended up on their book. She quickly opened it, grabbing a pen to cross out some more points on the list.
The loud 'ping' of the microwave indicated that the food was done and Santana carried it back into the living room, sitting down next to her girlfriend who was staring at the list in front of her, obviously lost in thought.
"What's on your mind?" she asked, wondering what was putting the frown on Brittany's pretty forehead.
"I wanna ask you something..." Brittany started slowly, taking the plate from Santana and stuffing some of the casserole into her mouth. "Thanks, by the way."
"You're welcome. So... what's up?"
"The last point on the list, San. I... I honestly don't believe you when you say you don't remember what you wanted to say there..."
"Brit..." Santana sighed. "Really, it's... it's nothing. Can't we just forget about it? We have enough points left that we can worry about..."
Brittany shook her head, putting the plate on the table as she came closer to Santana, letting her head rest against her shoulder.
"Honestly, San... if you don't want to tell me... then... can I add something to the list myself? I mean... it's Christmas after all... Can I make a wish?"
Santana frowned, looking at her curiously. Yeah, Brittany had managed to grant her so many wishes already, the least she could do was try to grant her one as well... but what did she want?
She nodded slowly.
"Yeah. Sure. I mean... yeah. Add whatever you'd like."
Brittany sat up, looking Santana straight in the eye as she took the red pen, the list on her lap.
Something told Santana that she wasn't going to wish for a baby duck or an elephant ride. Something told her that this was more serious and she could feel herself getting nervous.
Brittany's pen touched the paper where the 'B' was still written in Santana's handwriting and Santana could see her swallow as she finished the point.
Then she looked up at her, blue eyes searching her own, expectantly, completely vulnerable.
'Be my wife' was written on the list and Santana's heart skipped a beat.
"What do you say...?" Brittany whispered, her voice shaky.
Santana didn't know how much time had passed until she found her voice again. She didn't know if she should tell her that this was exactly what she had wanted to write. 'Being your wife.' She didn't know anything anymore.
"Hm?" Brittany tried again when there was no response, nervously biting her lower lip.
"Brit... I … I don't know what to say."
"Say what's on your mind..." Brittany told her, crossing her arms in front of her still naked chest. "Do you want to marry me...? Or... would you rather not?"
"Brit... of course I want to marry you..." Santana stuttered, her cheeks burning. "But... I ... I can't expect this from you, I mean, it's too much, we won't have much time, we-"
"Santana" Brittany interrupted her, her voice firm. "I love you. You're the love of my life."
She was looking into Santana's eyes with pure honesty, the lights of the Christmas candles reflecting in her shining blue eyes.
"I've loved you my whole life and even when we were still young, I knew I wanted to marry you. It probably sounds stupid, but it's true."
She swallowed.
"I want you to be my wife. I want to be your wife. We don't know how much time we still have, but nobody knows that. No one who gets married knows how much time they're gonna have. One person could suddenly become sick, could get in an unexpected accident... they might get divorced. All I know is that I love you with everything I have and when I look back at my life, I wanna be able to say 'I married the woman of my dreams'. It's not about time, Santana. It's about love. And I have a lot of that to offer..."
Santana's eyes were teary, yet she had to laugh.
"Why are you so much smarter than me?" she asked Brittany, quickly brushing away a tear.
Brittany's smile brightened. "Is that a yes?"
"Yeah... yeah it's a yes, Brit. It's a yes."
Brittany dropped her pen and the list, wrapping her arms around Santana, breathing into her neck. "Thank you. I promise I'll be a good wife, I promise."
She was holding her close, pressing her body against Santana's while placing kisses all over her face and neck.
"But I don't have a ring. I'm sorry, I ... it was so spontaneous now... but I will get you a ring, San. A big one. A shiny one with diamonds and everything..."
"Shh.." Santana whispered, squeezing Brittany's hands. "I don't need a ring. Not now. Just kiss me..."
xxxxxxx
N°10 - Get a pink Christmas tree - Check
N°11 - Own a tiger - Check
N°12 - Design my own tattoo - Check