2. VOICE

Sleep was actually relaxing, although I was surprised I even got to sleep after what had happened last time I fell asleep, but I drifted away, dreamlessly and peacefully.

When I opened my eyes, I had to blink a few times to get used to something I hadn't expected. Light was spilling in through the windows of the Black's house. I sat up, realizing I wasn't where I had been before. And I was alone. Somehow, I had been moved from the couch to Jacob's bed, probably because Jake, in all of his seven foot tall glory, and I, in all my 5'7" glory, wouldn't both fit on the couch. And I was pretty sure he didn't exactly fit on his bed.

I looked around. Jacob's room was almost exactly as I remembered it. It was still incredibly messy, probably because he was barely ever in it anymore.

But there was something different now.

On the wall right above me was a painting.

I stood up from the bed, staring at the painting.

It was a dark painting, using mostly black, blue, grey, and white. It was a painting of wolves. Three wolves stood in different places around the painting, two in the background, pacing the woods, and one in the foreground, perched on a cliff-side, howling at the white full moon, which stretched omnipotently across the top half of the picture.

Before I had time to wonder where Jake had gotten it, I noticed the inscription on the very bottom part of the frame: from Bella, Edward & Renesmee Cullen.

Renesmee.

I sighed. Jake had already imprinted. On Nessie.

I literally felt my heart pull itself away from the bones of my ribcage and the beat of my heart slowing to a tiny tap. Or maybe that's exaggerating a bit. Well, my heart sank. Jacob loved Renesmee, and I was almost certain she felt the same way.

Depression surged through me. It was the strangest feeling. It was almost like numbness. I couldn't even feel my heart anymore. Not a sound, not a single beat did I feel or hear. And it was cold, colder than I'd ever known anything could be. It was even colder than any of the Cullen's skin. Colder than ice, and I doubted that the icy vacuum of space could be any colder than this.

My face was the coldest. Something was dripping from my eyes, slowly and counter-rhythmically. The strange new liquid seeping from my eyes fell in a broken, unnatural rhythm, matching the fault line on my heart. I wondered silently how long it would be till that fault line broke apart, and my heart with it.

Wonder mixed in slowly with this anxiety. If Jacob had already imprinted on Renesmee... how had I imprinted on him? …. Confusion infused itself into the equation when a new question arose within me: could a male imprint on another male? Or was I just a freak?

Because it was quite obvious to me.

I had certainly imprinted on Jacob.

"Oh, good, you're awake!"

It took me too long to realize that Jacob was walking towards his room. Thank God I had my back to him, and he didn't even notice when my hand shot towards my face and wiped off the tears.

I didn't turn towards him, and used the last two seconds to recover myself. I almost gasped when I turned to look at him.

It had been too long since I had seen Jacob in the sun. To me, it was even more beautiful than any of the vampires in the sunlight. His russet skin seemed to glow in the sun, and his muscles looked strong and powerful. I turned towards the painting again, trying my hardest not to stare.

"Morning," I said. My tone was totally emotionless.

"You okay?" Jake asked, stopping about two feet behind me, in the doorway of his room.

His voice had a strange effect on me, no matter how it sounded. I felt the numbness retracting from my mind and body, and the coldness disappeared, letting the blood flow from my heart to every inch of my revitalized body. I was warm, burning up. And my heart began beating again.

I could smile again. It wasn't even a fake smile! Even when Jacob's voice was worried, it still had that same warmth in it that I loved. Fighting the urge to attack him with a hug, I smiled at him and said:

"I'm great!"

He smiled back as he took a step into the room. His smile had just as much effect as his voice, and the same warming feeling swept through me again.

It was impossible not to love Jacob, for me anyway.

Jacob looked around. He obviously hadn't been in his room very much lately. He let a low laugh when he saw what I had been looking at.

"They gave it to me on my birthday," Jake said, and his eyes began to sink into the memory of that day.

I remembered that day too.

Jake's birthday had always been a big thing, no matter how old he was turning. Jacob was born on July 3, 1990, two years before me, and that day, he was turning 18. It was one of my favorite days of the year now, only because of what had happened. We had the party at the Cullen's, for the treaty was mud now anyway. (Leah didn't like this, so we had the party outside, in front of the Cullen's illustrious house. That seemed to be good enough for her.) I remembered the party so well; it was like it was happening again in my memory.

I had gotten Jake a new album, by one of our mutual favorite bands, My Chemical Romance. Bella, Edward, and Nessie got him the wolf portrait, of course. Alice, Jasper, and Emmett (and Rosalie, but she didn't admit it) got him a huge set of state of the art car tools. Carlisle and Esmé spent like a million freaking dollars or more on a pair of jeans that would transform with him when he phased so that when he phased back, they would phase back on him. He tried his hardest to be as gentle with these as possible, and tried to talk them into taking money to pay back for it, but (of course) they already had enough money to give him ten more pairs.

The tribe council and the wolf pack (even me) got together and made Jacob a book of Quileute legends.

The party had been a lot of fun. Somehow, Alice and Edward had picked the perfect music (and I was sure half of it hadn't even been released legally yet) and the party was probably the best that Jacob had ever had.

After the party, Nessie gave Jacob his real gift from her. She had written a song for him. I secretly watched and listened as Renesmee sat on the piano, her hands moving gracefully across the ivory and ebony keys. She was the most beautiful girl in the world. He couldn't keep his eyes off of her hands as she played the piece. I could've sworn that she plays better than Edward, and he has 109 years of experience.

That's when it happened. I don't know what had set it off, or how it had remained dormant this whole time, all these years that Jake and I had been friends. I had frozen in place, crouched silently on the doorstep of the house. Suddenly, Renesmee was gone. The piano was gone, the room, the house, the Cullens, the pack, the party, and the whole world was gone...

Except for him. Jacob Black sat on the edge of the piano seat, his eyes on someone that I couldn't see anymore, wearing a pair of khaki shorts, a red shirt, and no shoes. His sleek black hair was pulled into a pony tail, because someone that I couldn't remember liked it that way, I think her name was Re- Rene- Oh, forget it, it doesn't matter, all that matters is Jake. Jacob. Jacob Black.

It took Leah kicking me in the groin to get me to snap out of it. After destroying any chance for me to have kids, (yes, that was sarcasm, can't you just taste it) she tried to drag me out of the house. I had resisted, trying to pretend I had to refill my cup (which I didn't have with me, what a lame excuse), I realized that Jake and Renesmee weren't even at the piano anymore. They were back outside, laughing at some joke that Emmett made that I hadn't heard.

I didn't sleep that night. I knew I would dream about Jacob. I was up all night, trying not to cry. I knew then that I had imprinted on him. It made absolutely no sense to me whatsoever. I wasn't gay! I was normal, my life made sense, I didn't love Jacob, and I most definitely did NOT imprint on him!

I barely left my room the next day either.

I got really sick, and ended up lying on the bathroom floor with my cheek pressed against the cold tile floor for God knows how long before my mom found me. I guess I had gotten whatever was in my system out that first time, but I lay in bed all day, regardless, sick to my stomach at the very thought of Jake, or Renesmee. I almost had to run to the bathroom once, just because the image of Jacob holding Renesmee had somehow flitted into my mind.

It was a week or so before I saw Jake again. I used my 'sick' excuse for a few days, and I didn't have to fake either. I really was sick. Then, when I started to feel better, then I pretended to have some kind of crap for school to do. When my non-existent book report and my never-had-to-do science essay were "finished", I gave up. I had to see Jacob again.

When I saw him, a week after his birthday, I was all smiles. I couldn't help it. It had always been easy to be happy around Jake, but it was even easier now, and I had begun to wonder if I would be able to control myself if things got a little too close. No, I would never let anything get close to that. Ever.

It only took me moments to recall all of this before I painfully snapped back to the present. I smiled at the memory. Well, the parts that were worthy of being called happy.

I glanced over at Jacob, who was now looking at his bed.

"Wow, Seth," he said, a little confused. "The bed looks almost exactly like it did when I put you in it last night. You must not have had any more nightmares."

He turned and gave me an unreadable smile, before turning to look for a shirt.

"Thanks for doing that," I said.

"You're welcome," he replied, shooting me a quick smiley glance. "You looked cold, and you were shivering like crazy. You were sweating too. Plus, there wasn't enough room on the couch for both of us."

Aw. You are way too nice.

"Thanks, Jake," I repeated, sitting on the edge of the bed. Nervous, as I always was in his presence, I fidgeted with the fringe of my left pants leg.

"So what are we going to do today? It's a Saturday," he added, slipping on the same shirt he had worn to his birthday party. As he put it on, I fought off the urge to risk a glance towards his muscular torso. I was very good at it. I didn't even twitch. I didn't want to give him any hints about my unfortunate imprint.

Stupid, werewolf soulmate-finding instincts.

"Hm..." I thought for a moment, thinking. Anything school related was out of course. Thank God, my mother was planning to homeschool me soon, now that Leah had graduated. (I think the reason for that was because of gas prices, but I don't know.)

Then I knew what I wanted to do.

I spun towards Jacob, my face suddenly bright with real enthusiasm.

"Cliff diving!"

The whole day technically planned itself out after we told Billy about our cliff diving plans. Apparently, Carlisle had called, and Billy, Jacob, my mother, Charlie, and myself were going to have dinner at the Cullen's house after we cliff-dived. Edward and Emmett were going to barbecue. I wondered how long it had been since either of them had used a grill, and blinked back at the thought. Maybe I could get them to let Bella cook the food, since she was much more experienced at it.

I had to get some different clothes to change into after the diving, so Jacob drove me home to get some clothes (even though he knew perfectly well that I could drive, he just wanted to show off).

The front door was unlocked, and my mother was in the kitchen, mopping the linoleum floor.

"Hey, hon," she said, looking up at me and smiling.

"Hey, Mom," I replied. "Me and Jake are gonna go cliff diving, I'll be back later."

"Alright," she answered, scrubbing a tough spot. "Be safe. Oh, and be back in time to go eat with the Cullen's."

I got my clothes: a pair of jeans, torn and abused from being outside all day, and a plain white t-shirt, stained with grease from Jacob's garage. These would do just perfectly.

Jake was outside waiting in the Rabbit, but he had a weird look on his face. The look on his face made me blush unexpectedly. It was the same look that I imagined him having if he ever found out about my imprinting.

But he wasn't looking at me, but past me, beyond the house.

I spun around, trying to see what it was he that he was seeing. I frowned. I didn't see anything at all.

I jogged to the car and hopped in, holding my clothes to my side with my right hand.

Jake turned to look at me, and then smiled, not mentioning whatever he was staring at.

We drove to the cliffside. The plan was that we were going to jump off the very top of the cliff. I was all for that.

I stepped out of the car and through the small crop of trees that separated the cliffside from the road. The cliffs were the same shade of tan I remembered. Almost the same color as my werewolf fur.

Jacob followed me almost silently onto the top of the cliff. The bare rock was bereft of vegetation, the rock clear as bone, jutting out into the 'jumping place', as the pack called it.

"Alright!" Jake yelled, enthusiasm dripping off his lips. "Let's do this!"

His enthusiasm was poisonously contagious, and I couldn't help but smile back.

We walked closer to the edge, and Jacob pulled off his blood-red shirt, now only in his khaki shorts, and no shoes, of course.

I mimicked him, not glancing towards him, making myself seem as nonchalant as possible. I tossed my shirt back closer towards the Rabbit, so that I could pick it up on the way back. Jake followed suit.

Jacob took a wary step towards the edge. He looked down, and I knew what he saw, the open air, stretching downward for only more than a hundred feet. I stepped to the edge more warily than he did.

The mere height made the butterflies in my stomach—no, the barracudas in my stomach—flutter excitedly. The feeling would be like flying, as I knew from previous experience. The sheer rock of the cliff face made the height look even more awe-inspiring. The water below would be like ice to a normal person, but to Jacob and I, it would be normal temperature, maybe even warmer today, for the air was still relatively warm. The mid-September sun was hidden, as always, behind the gray, ominous cover of clouds.

I smiled down at the waves, far below, lapping against the rocks below.

"You ready?" Jacob asked, turning his head carefully to the side, the impending exhilaration already illuminating his brilliant features.

"More than you are," I teased, cocking my head to side letting my light brown hair fall into my eyes. Woops, I thought. Stupid thing to do on the edge of a cliff. I corrected the motion quickly, tossing my medium-length hair to the side, while Jake laughed loudly, his laugh bouncing all around us. My heart burned with the intensity of his laugh. As long as he was happy, then I could be.

"Let's do this!" He said again, before suddenly launching himself off of the side of the cliff. I followed soon after, beginning the plummet towards the dark blue waters below.