A/N: okay so you guys literally blew me away with your reviews on the last chapter - thank you all SO MUCH!

"Wake up, sleepy head," Charlie's voice said, shaking her awake. Opening her eyes, Kate realised she was still on the sofa and the tv was still on, she must have fallen asleep.

"What time is it?" She asked groggily, sitting up into a more comfortable position.

"Nearly 1," Charlie told her, "I've just got home."

Kate eyed her sister. All she really wanted to do was slip into bed and sleep but Charlie had such an excited look on her face that she couldn't bare to deny her. "Okay okay, tell me all about it."

When Charlie spoke, it was as if a dam had been burst and the water was suddenly allowed to flow past. "Oh my god Kate, it was amazing!" She squealed, practically bouncing up and down in her seat. "He'd booked a table at this most amazing restaurant.. Q3 it was called, maybe you've heard of it? Anyway-"

"Q3?" Kate asked as she realised where Charlie was talking about, "yeah I've heard of it. Remember Maddie from school?" Charlie nodded, "she owns the place."

Charlie's eyes widened. "Maddie owns that restaurant? Wow, she did good! How'd you know?"

"Her head chef was murdered a couple of years back, we investigated the case. We keep in touch now, actually, you'll have to come out with us next time," Kate said with a smile, what a coincidence that he'd taken her to Q3. "Though he must be pretty important if he got a table there, Castle said he'd been trying to get a reservation for months when it opened."

"I'm not surprised, oh my goodness Kate, the food was incredible. Seriously, I've never tasted anything like it! So we had this perfect three course meal with candles on the table and flowers and everything and we didn't run out of conversation, not once," Charlie said, a smile threatening for take over her entire face.

"I'm not surprised, you can talk for America, you can," Kate grumbled and Charlie narrowed her eyes at her. "Carry on, sister dearest," Kate smiled sweetly.

"Yes, well after that he insisted on paying the bill, wouldn't hear a word against it despite me saying for at least twenty minutes that I should at least pay for my food. And then, oh my god, we had a horse ride around Central Park! I mean seriously, how amazing is that?!"

"Wow, pretty impressive for a first date!" Kate said, restraining herself from rolling her eyes. Wasn't her kinda thing, but if it made Charlie happy then that was all that mattered. "Guess he's got a lot to live up to if you go on another date!"

"If? Please, we've already arranged it! We're going to watch a movie on Wednesday, get a couple of drinks after..you should come meet us, bring Lanie and the boys if you like."

"Hmm, I'll think about it," Kate said. She wasn't too keen on the idea but it might give her a chance to see what Ethan was like - and Espo and Ryan would be there too, they could give her a hand and they'd be able to figure out if he was any good. "So, you like him then?" She couldn't remember seeing Charlie this crazy over a guy since college.

"I do...too much, I think. I mean, I only met him last night but it feels like so much longer, you get what I mean? We have so much in common and he's drop dead gorgeous..well, you saw him.."

"Yeah, I did - you did good, kid," she teased, punching Charlie playfully on the arm.

"Hey, you're not the only one who can find a good guy you know! So, what did you get up to tonight?"

"Not a lot, ordered pizza and watched crappy romance movies," Kate admitted, stifling a yawn. "And now, I think it's time for bed. Night sis," she said as she got up to make her way to her bedroom.

"Night, Kate, sleep well."

"You okay?" Charlie asked as Kate began pacing around the living room.

"Yes," she snapped, before sinking onto the couch with a sigh. "No," she admitted. "I'm nervous about lunch. I'm almost where I need to be to start something with him and I'm going to ruin it all. It's my fault, I know that..I just wish I hadn't been so damn ridiculous after the shooting and not told him I didn't remember." She had no doubt in her mind that Castle still would have waited,wouldn't have pushed for more than she could given even if she had admitted what she'd heard. And now, now she'd left it way too long and it had just made things worse because when she told him, he was probably going to think it was because she didn't feel the same or something..

"When are you leaving?" Charlie asked.

"I'm meeting him at 1..I'll go in a minute though, I can't sit and wait for much longer." It was only 12.20, but she could get parked and order coffee or something while she waited for him.

"Okay, honey. Well good luck and remember, it'll all be okay, alright? I know he's probably not going to take this very well but if you explain why you didn't tell him, I'm sure he'll understand."

"Thanks, Charlie," Kate said, grabbing her keys, cell and purse. "I'll see you later."

Just as she had suspected, Castle wasn't there when Kate arrived at Remy's. Smiling warmly at a waitress they'd seen in here many times, she took a seat at an empty booth and waited for Castle. Luckily, she didn't have to wait long - she'd just ordered them both a cup of coffee when Castle walked in, smiling when he saw her.

"Hi," he said, sitting down opposite her. "You okay? You don't usually want to see me when you don't have to," he teased.

"Well uh, we need to talk.."

"I wonder, how many conversations starting with the words 'we need to talk' actually end well?" Castle replied ominously. "You ordered already?"

"Just coffee," she said as their waitress brought the drinks over.

"Are you ready to order some food or did you need some more time?" She asked with a polite smile.

"I'm good," Castle said, not even needing to look at the menu, "how about you?" He asked Beckett, he was pretty sure he was speaking to Kate, he just had a feeling, but this would confirm it.

"Yeah, I'm ready," Beckett returned, both of them ordering their usuals - thus confirming Castle's theory that it actually was Kate sat opposite him.

"So," Castle began once the waitress had disappeared to the kitchen with their order, "you wanted to talk?"

"Yeah. I um..look, yesterday when I ran out on you..I shouldn't have done that and I'm sorry," it suddenly dawned on her that Castle had seen 'her' since then. "I mean, I didn't really apologise properly when you came over yesterday. Not that you were there for long, but I um..yeah, I'm sorry."

"Wanna tell me what happened to make you freak out on me like that?" He asked and Kate was grateful he was leaving the ball in her court. He wasn't outright asking why she had done it, he was asking if she wanted to tell him. God, what had she done to deserve him?

"I uh, like I said yesterday," well, like Charlie said yesterday, she added silently, "I got a text from Charlie and I overreacted. And uh, that's kinda why we're here right now, what she said in the text was something I needed to tell you and I'd sort of forgotten about it.."

"You're killing me here," he joked, "are you gonna tell me what it is you haven't told me before christmas or do you just wanna wrap it up and wait until then?"

"Castle," she snapped, "I'm trying to be serious here!"

"Okay, sorry, sorry. Carry on," he said sheepishly.

Beckett was about to come right out and say it when their food arrived. Stupid freaking timing. Both of them were silent for a minute whilst they began eating their burgers.

Come on, Beckett, just spit it out. "Right, so you remember when I was shot?" She began tentatively. Duh, stupid question, she told herself, he's hardly going to have forgotten is he?!

"Yeah, Kate, I remember," he chuckled and Beckett's stomach flipped at the use of her first name. She was almost always Beckett, he saved Kate for when he was particularly happy with her..or when he was trying to get her attention. Dammit, did he have to make it harder for her?

"Okay, so after that..when you came to see me in the hospital?" He nodded, looking at her expectantly. "I um, I told you that I couldn't remember anything from the shooting.."

He frowned at her, the two of them abandoning their half eaten burgers. "Go on," he pressed.

"Well um.." Here goes nothing - "I lied."

"You lied?" Castle asked and Beckett wouldn't meet his gaze, she had suddenly become very interested in her half-eaten burger. "Beckett? What did you lie about?" He had a sinking feeling he already knew but he needed to hear her say it.

"What you said when you pushed me to the ground," she whispered. "I'm sorry, Castle, so so sorry."

"Why? Why did you lie about it?" He asked, anger bubbling up inside.

"Because.."

"Oh no, let me guess - you don't feel the same and you were just trying to spare my feelings?" He thanked the lord that the diner was fairly busy, people were far too engrossed in their own conversations to pay any attention to them. "Well I've got news for you, Beckett, I'm a big boy, I can take care myself. In fact, I think you've made it worse by lying this whole time - if you had just told me in the hospital that you had heard me then it would have been a hell of a lot better than me thinking I had a chance with you for almost a year," he spat out, he couldn't believe she had been keeping it a secret all this time.

"Oh god, Castle, of course that's not why..oh I knew that's what you'd think! Please, just give me a minute to explain.."

"Why should I?" He asked, "give me one good reason why I should listen to anything you have to say?"

Beckett opened and closed her mouth a few times, doing a rather good impersonation of a goldfish, but came up empty.

"Precisely what I thought," Castle said, standing up to leave.

"No, wait!" Beckett called, "please Castle, just give me five minutes. Five minutes to explain and then I promise if you don't want to see me ever again I'll walk out of here and you can forget I ever existed but please, just give me one more chance," she begged, desperate for him to listen to her, despite the fact she knew she didn't deserve it.

He didn't know why he relented, but he did. Well, when had he ever been able to resist Kate Beckett? "You've got 4 minutes and 45 seconds and counting," he said, sitting back down.

"Thank you," she breathed out. This was it, her one and only opportunity to see if her and Castle still had a chance. "I lied about what I'd heard because I was scared. At the time I was still with Josh.." Castle shifted guiltily in his seat, "oh no, I don't blame you. I mean, your timing was pretty crap but I could have died and you made a split second decision. But after that, as you know, Josh and I split up. And it wasn't just because of what you'd said because I'd known for longer than that that we weren't going to work out, but it was partly the reason why. Nobody had ever told me they loved me and actually meant it, besides my parents and probably Charlie, of course..with Will, it was always that he loved the job more than me..Demming, well, that didn't last long enough to even think about love and Josh..well, once again it was the job and not me. But when I was with Josh, I didn't care that he loved the job more than me because it meant I got to spend more time with you and he didn't even notice. I was scared, Castle, like you said - I hid in relationships with men I didn't love and when I realised that my feelings for you ran stronger than that, it scared me. And so I made a split second decision - the wrong one, I'll admit that, - and that was to lie about it, pretend I'd never heard it. And it wasn't because I didn't feel anything for you it was because I was so scared of what I felt for you. I tried everything I could to push you away, Castle but none of it worked, you always managed to worm your way back in and it was annoying at first..but then I realised I actually wanted you there, crazy theories and all. And I know I should have told you this months and months ago but I didn't, so I'm putting it right now..well as right as I can put it.." She broke off, grateful that Castle had refrained from interrupting her during her little monologue.

"So why are you telling me now?" He asked, "why not just carry on pretending you hadn't heard me?"

"You really think I could start a relationship with you knowing I hadn't been completely honest?" She asked, "cause if that's the case then you really don't know me very well at all."

"You..you want to start a relationship with me?" He asked in disbelief.

Oh shit, had she said that? "I um..well not right yet, I'm not quite ready yet but I know I'm almost there. And you've been so amazing this past year or so, not pushing for more than I could give..never pressuring me into anything and I'm so grateful, you will never understand how much I appreciate that but yeah..soon, I guess."

Castle was silent for a few minutes, taking in everyhintg she had just told him. It seemed it was the old head vs heart battle - his head told him to run as fast as he could in the opposite direction and his heart was simply jumping with joy that Kate Beckett had actual romantic feelings for him. "I uh..well I'm not really sure what to say.." He said.

"You don't need to say anything, Castle, honestly I'm just glad you gave me the opportunity to explain myself, I know I didn't deserve it.."

"No, you didn't, but I meant what I said that day you were shot - I love you. And like I said yesterday, I know you're not ready to hear it yet but from what you've just said it's not going to be long, and that's good enough for me."

Beckett frowned and then suppressed a smile at the mention of their conversation 'yesterday,' that had been that the part of the conversation with Charlie that she'd overheard. "So um, are we okay?"

"Not right now..but I think we could be. Just..give me a couple of days, Beckett. I'll call you, okay?" He said as he stood up once again, placing some money on the table and walking away from her.

Well, Beckett thought, that went as well as could be expected, now she just had to hope he called.

A/N: and that makes it four updates in four days! Won't have time tomorrow to update, but I'll aim for Wednesday! Hope you all had a lovely Easter weekend - and another four day week this week, yay! (Another cliffhanger, I know, but I seriously contemplated leaving it "I lied." Which I think would have been worse!)

twitter - holaitsjade | tumblr - stanaabanana