Author's Note: Sorry, I know I've strayed from my original plan for this fanfic...

I swept the broom across the floor again. Life was a lot better here than I thought it could be. I guess, several months ago, I'd thought that all happiness in my life was extinguished forever. I still would have rather been with Nathaniel-

Heck, he don' deserve you...

I'd tried as hard as I could not to let that into my brain, but everytime his name crossed my mind, those two sentences popped into my head, and wouldn't leave.

Nathaniel comes along and causes you all this stress...

But that was ridiculous. He hadn't caused all the stress. I did. Over him, yes, but it was for him... so yeah, because of him, but it was my fault!

Ugh! I was so confused! None of my thoughts could make it make sense.

I set the broom down and closed my eyes. I pressed my fingers to my temples and groaned. There was no point in even thinking about thinking about it.

To comfort myself, I thought I'd think of Nathaniel. Not about my actions concerning him, but just him. I would picture him. Maybe then I could forget about reasonings and sense and everything that had happened. I could pretend that he was with me, and I would feel good. Better. Whole. Complete.

So I let myself imagine him. He had that shaggy brown hair and - and -

Panic gripped me.

I couldn't remember him.

I could remember his his hair, his height, his strength, his personality traits, but I couldn't remember his face. I couldn't remember!

My eyes were burning.

I couldn't forget!

He was my dearest memory, my sweetest dream - and I'd never forget him!

I would make myself remember! I would make myself think of him every day! I would not forget him!

I took a deep breath. I was going to remember every detail of his face.

I started with his feet. I pictured them in the average shoes of an average Kyrrian. I smiled. Then I "zoomed out", so to speak, and viewed his entire person. I could see muscles on his chest through his billowy white shirt, see his strong, manly hands. The one thing I couldn't see clearly was his face. It was blurry, foggy.

Ignoring the ache in my chest, I let my eyes roam over the fuzz. To my surprise and utter delight, wherever my eyes focused suddenly came into brilliant clarity. It was clearer than it would be if he were standing in front of me. My eyes traced every wave of his hair, highlighting every twist, every minute hair on his head.

I wasn't even sad. Actually, I was euphoric.

On his face was a half-delighted, half-amazed look. There was also a touch of I-don't-believe-it present.

With newly found vigor, I started to trace the smallest particles of his face.

Then I heard his amazed and delighted laugh.

I stopped.

I could hear it so perfectly clearly... and I loved it. It made me wish that he looked that amazed because he could see me; he was laughing in the delight of my being near him again.

And that brought me back to the fact that I'd never see him again. He'd never laugh like that over me. He was gone to me. Forever.

And Nathaniel dissolved.

I broke down.

Stop it! I yelled at myself. Seriously! I was so pathetic! Moping, crying, aching, getting hysteric! Pathetic! I was going to stop! Nathaniel was NOT mine! I would have to just learn to DEAL WITH IT!!! I would never get over him, but he was happy! That should be enough for me to be relatively happy! It would have to be enough! I would force myself to remember him, to picture him once a day, to cherish him, but I would NOT be so depressed! I was absolutely pathetic! And, since I couldn't picture him today without giving in to my pathetic-ness, I would just have to picture Kyrria!

So I closed my eyes tightly.

I imagined myself standing in nothingness, in uttter darkness.

A streak of light, like the trail of a shooting star, shot out from my heart and went forward for at least two feet before it instantly expanded. The light became sunlight. I imagined the great, grassy plains separating Frell from the forest.

The picture continued to grow and wrapped itself around me.

The last of the darkness was squashed out.

I opened my eyes. It was all still there, but now the ghost of Myra's kitchen shown through the tall grasses.

All this had happened in less than two seconds.

I imagined myself runnning a few steps through the grass. I dove onto the ground and grabbed at the grass.

I laughed.

It felt so good to laugh.

I dragged a few of the long green blades to my face. I breathed in deeply. I imagined the scent of the grass. It smelled so good!

I rolled around in it and felt better than I have in a long time.

I was even smiling.