"Your - your sister?!?" I asked incredously.

Jemima's face became even more hostile.

"Henceforth the - the - (she doesn't deserve to be called 'fairy') - the witch doesn't exist. Got it? I don't care about any Lucinda and you don't either. Understand?" she asked, before her voice and features softened again, "Why, I don't even know any Lucinda!" She laughed.

"So... what am I here for then?" I asked, "What am I supposed to do?"

Jemima laughed.

"I'm here to train you, of course!"

"Train me? For what?"

She laughed again.

"Well, you are a fairy after all - I'll train you not to hurt yourself, or others, of course! Train you to not use you magic by accident!"

"But this is rediculous! I don't even know if I am a fairy for sure! I mean- I don't - you'd think that's something I would know!"

Jemima stared at me in shock before bursting into a fit of giggles.

"Something you would know?" she choked, "How could anyone not know?"

"I don't!" I snapped, "I. Don't. Know. That. I'm. A. Fairy."

I felt like screaming. Didn't she understand? I was utterly clueless, this was a shock, I wasn't totally ready to believe this yet!

Then again, maybe I didn't seem as shocked as I supposed I should be. Maybe somewhere, deep down, I'd figured it out a while ago, I just hadn't put it into words in my head. Kind of like how I must have been aware - somewhere in my brain - that I'd loved Nathaniel. Only I hadn't figured it out until it was too late...

Jemima laughed, completey unperturbed, "If you're here, you're a fairy. You are in a very special part of fairyland. Only fairies can come to this place. Now sit down."

She motioned toward a fluffy pink chair that had suddenly appeared, and I sat. It was unbelievably comfortable. My body sank and floated at the same time while it caressed the contours of my body. My arm, which had been hurting, suddenly felt as good as new.

She sighed and muttered, "I can't believe Mandy convinced me to do this." She snapped her head in my direction, "First off, never, never, never do any big magic." Her voice was stern.

"'Big magic'? How do figure - I don't - I mean - I don't know how to do any magic, let alone 'big magic'! What even is 'Big Magic'?"

"Big magic is any magic that could have a disastrous result. That has any chance of a disastrous result."

"Wait so - you can do anything? Anything at all?"

Nathaniel's face popped into my head.

If I could do anything, then maybe, just maybe, I could be with him. Maybe I could control my transportation between Kyrria and New York.

Maybe.

Maybe I could avoid hurting him.

Maybe.

Jemima laughed again; somewhere in my subconciousness I realized that this fairy was incredibly unpredictable and.

"Of course - if you stay here. Should you put one toe into the human world, then you are to use no magic. Ah, and humans aren't allowed to know about this place, so you shan't tell any - understand?"

"But even Mandy uses magic - doesn't she?"

She did.

"Yes - small, harmless magic. But you're a new fairy, so your judgement won't be the best. For now, we'll stay with no magic."

"Fine." I didn't mind. I didn't even know how to do any of it, and I didn't want it. The only thing I cared about was being able to not do it. It had lost Myra her job. It had ruined my life. It had ruined Nathaniel's life - if he could possibly love me as much as I loved him. Perhaps it had ruined Ella's and Mandy's lives too. Perhaps, had I done something differently, or not been there, Ella wouldn't have run away from finishing school. Maybe Sir Peter and Dame Olga would have never married; maybe Hattie would not have been so terrible to Ella. The only good thing it had ever done was free my parents of their burden.

It felt as if some sort of whip had lashed across my chest; I gasped.

Jemima looked at me suspiciously.

For a long time I'd successfully driven the pain of my unwanted status away. Then that pain had been shadowed - no - it had disappeared in the shadow of a newer, greater pain. Before I thought that having parents who didn't love me was the worst thing in the world.

But there were people that had worse.

People with abusive parents.

People with no parents at all - or a Myra to take care of them, to love them.

I had been so selfish, so ignorant, so naive - could I really be past that now? Could I really be worthy of Nathaniel? And could I find him? If I was sure that I control whatever I could do, could I at least find him?

Was I strong enough to stay away, though, if that was what he wanted? If he was married to another girl, would I be able to walk away and leave him to his life? If I knew I could transport back to him whenever I wanted, if I knew how, then would he be safe from me, if he wanted nothing to do with me? If he really did love me and I'd broken his heart, he wouldn't want me. Who would?

I sighed.

What to do?

"Just like that?" Jemima asked. I started. I had been so immersed in my own thoughts that I had no idea what she was talking about.

She was eyeing me suspiciously again.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"You're just 'fine' with not doing any magic?" She sounded incredulous.

"Oh. Yes, I'm fine with it."

Her expression shifted into a softer, tender one.

"Oh, dearie, I know it's scary. But there's nothing to be frightened of. You see, as long as you're responsable with your magic, you won't hurt anybody. I..."

I tuned out her voice and let my thought wander again to Nathaniel and the pending choices...

Author's Note: I am SO sorry I took so long to update. I've just been having a really busy summer, so I'm apologizing in advance for the wait for future chapters. I really hope I'll update soon, but starting Monday I've got volleyball and band practice... and it will be hectic... SORRY!!! Please review!!!