Before Boston

by javagenesis

Lorelai and Christopher's marriage is over. Luke loves Lorelai, still. Lorelai never stopped loving Luke. But what does that mean for Luke and Lorelai? Find out in Before Boston.

3. Ping-Ponging

Hello everyone- it really has been a while. Hopefully this was worth the wait. Let me know what you think, JG.

---

Lorelai Gilmore felt like a ping-pong ball, bouncing back and forth between sanity and insanity. It wasn't a particularly enjoyable feeling. The ping-pong feelings had started the moment Luke had left her Boston apartment to drive back to Stars Hollow. She had watched from the window as he got in a taxi to go back to the bar and collect his truck. She had watched the bright yellow car drive down the street, then she had watched the vehicle disappear around a corner and everything had hit her, all at once.

Sanity was getting up in the morning, drinking coffee and having a shower. It was going to her new business- a consulting firm that specialised in the hospitality industry- and working until her brain hurt. She spent her sane days dealing with clients who wanted to know how to improve their inns, their lodges, their hotels, motels and B&Bs. Throughout the day she would get calls from Sookie and Michel, wanting to get her opinion on the day-to-day running of the Dragonfly. She knew they kept her in the loop because they missed her, and they still hoped that one day she would decide to deal with the problems herself, in person. But she continued to deal with the problems over the phone because Stars Hollow was still a gaping hole of depression in her life.

Insanity was waking up and not being able to leave her bed. Not even the coffee machine, which was set up to make her a cup at seven in the morning, could coax her to leave the comfort and security the sheets offered her. The insane days Lorelai spent curled up in a ball, watching old movies, not eating and crying. The insane days happened a few times a season, not often, but often enough to make sure that continuing her therapy sessions with Kate were an absolute necessity.

According to Kate, Lorelai was experiencing a form of depression known as recurrent brief depression. The episodes lasted usually one or two days and would leave Lorelai feeling mentally and physically exhausted. Kate had suggested to Lorelai that it had begun after Luke had left because he had forced her to face the causes of her panic attacks- him and her refusal to find closure in their relationship. The fact that she only faced them for a few hours was the reason she was ping-ponging.

The minute Luke had left, Lorelai had resumed her Cleopatra-like persona, Queen of De-Nile. She had picked up a shovel and had systematically shovelled a mountain of dirt on her recently excavated problems. A 6ft deep grave, however, had not managed to make them disappear as she had hoped. They had somehow seeped into the corners of her mind in the few hours they had been unburied and had latched on. No matter how hard Lorelai tried to shake the unbidden memories from her mind, they seemed determined to never let go.

Lorelai sighed. Today had been one of the sane days but she was sensing a change in the wind. It had started earlier when she had been at the mall, shopping for a new outfit for a meeting with a prospective client. The client was a pretty big one, so she had wanted to make sure she looked good. Looking gorgeous certainly couldn't cause the meeting any calm, that was for sure.

She had been browsing a rack of dresses when a bright and cheery sales assistant had offered to help her look. Lorelai had accepted just for the hell of it. Rory couldn't help her- she was overseas reporting on the Middle Eastern crisis for the New York Times- so the sales clerk was a welcome substitute.

"How about this?" The girl, whose badge indicated her name was Paige, held up a dress for her inspection.

Lorelai shook her head, "A little bit too Paris Hilton."

"Alright, maybe this?" Paige asked, this time holding up a very sophisticated looking dress.

"Sorry, but do I scream "Hillary Clinton" to you?" Lorelai asked, brows raised. She certainly didn't think she looked like a women of society. She was wearing a pantsuit because she had just popped in from work on her way home but she was wearing what she considered a "fun" shirt. It had a cute little pattern that was a little quirky and out there, just like her.

"No, no," Paige had quickly responded, shoving the offending outfit back on the rack.

Lorelai then turned to another rack, thumbing through the available dresses with pursed lips.

"I think you'll like this," Paige had said from behind her.

Lorelai had turned around and had felt her breath hitch in her throat. The dress was gorgeous. But it was blue, the same blue that she associated with the colour of Luke's eyes. She felt her fingers begin to tremble.

"You know what? It's late so I think I'll just come back tomorrow," Lorelai said quickly, turning and exiting the store in an abrupt rush. She felt like she had just been punched in the gut.

She hadn't thought about Luke for weeks, but now he had been called unbidden to the forefront of her mind.

"So, last night," Lorelai began, looking up at him underneath her dark lashes as she sat down on one of the bar stools that were placed beside the kitchen island.

"Last night, right," Luke repeated, continuing to focus on making the coffee. She could say whatever it was she needed to say to him first.

"That was something," Lorelai said finally, "Really something. I mean, that thing that you did, with your tongue…"

"Lorelai," Luke said as a warning. He didn't need a play-by-play of the previous nights activities. He was well aware of them. In fact, he was pretty sure they had been permanently embedded in the recesses of his mind.

"Right, right," Lorelai muttered, a little chastised. "Well, last night. I was upset and you were there, you know that. And I think you understand why I asked you to… Well, let's just leave it at that, right? We don't need to make a big deal out of any of this, right? We are adults. We've slept together before, though admittedly not in similar circumstances. I was in a bad place, and I still am, so I think you understand what I'm trying to say-"

"I do, understand, Lorelai," Luke informed her, cutting her off. She didn't need to ramble. He knew. He pushed her finished cup of coffee across to her, waiting for her to try the brown liquid before he asked the question that was currently on his mind.

Lorelai tried the coffee and shot him another breathtaking smile. "It's perfect," She told him.

Luke nodded, rubbing the back of his neck a little before he just asked her plainly, "Do you think we can just go back to being what we were before last night?"

Lorelai put her coffee cup down on the counter carefully. "No, I don't think we can," Lorelai told him softly. Even if they wanted to go back to being nothing to each other, she knew they couldn't. They had just dredged up all the feelings they had for each other. From past experience, she knew that they couldn't just turn those feelings off.

"So then, what are we?"

"I don't know, Luke. I don't know."

"You aren't coming back to Stars Hollow, are you?"

"I can't, Luke."

"I know, but…"

"Luke, I just don't know, okay? I just don't know."

"Well, I guess I should be going then," Luke told Lorelai. There was nothing left for him here, that much was clear. Whatever had happened between them had happened, that was it.

"Oh, alright," Lorelai had stammered out, surprised by his abrupt desire to leave.

"I have to get back soon, the diner…"

"Of course."

Lorelai had followed him to back to her bedroom and had watched from the doorway as he grabbed his socks and shoes. Luke sat on the edge of her bed to put them on, his brow furrowed in that quiet concentration she loved so much. It was reassuring to know that after four years, he still hadn't changed that much.

"Did you want your flannel back?" Lorelai asked him, as he stood ready to go.

"No, you keep it," Luke told her, adding, "I've got plenty more back at the apartment."

Lorelai laughed a little. Of course he had more. It wasn't as if the one she was wearing was a staple in his wardrobe- he probably had another six that were exactly the same.

"Well, you're not wrong," Lorelai replied, moving aside to let him back through. She followed him out to the foyer, biting her lip a little. It felt weird, him leaving. But she knew it would feel even weirder if he stayed.

Luke turned around to face her and said quietly, "Goodbye Lorelai."

"Goodbye Luke," Lorelai responded, leaning in for one last hug.

"Ring me," Luke murmured against the top of her head, "If you ever need anything. I'll come. I don't want to go back to not speaking ever, or never seeing each other. I like knowing that you're okay. So… Ring me, please. I know we can't go back to being what we were, but we could try being friends, or friend-ish."

"I will, if I need anything," Lorelai had answered, knowing she probably wouldn't call him.

"Okay, good," Luke said, pulling back. He looked her over one last time. He nodded to himself, gave her a smile, and then opened the apartment. He walked out and Lorelai had shut the door behind him.

Lorelai gave herself a couple of minutes to make sure she wasn't going to cry then she went back into the kitchen. She took one look at the cup of coffee he had made her and then poured it down the kitchen sink. She rinsed out the coffee cup and washed out the sink, making sure to wash away any evidence of his presence.

Now that he was gone, it hurt too much to think about him. It hurt too much to remember.

Lorelai then went back into her room and changed into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. She stuffed the flannel at the back of her closet, where she would probably never see it. Then she systematically stripped the sheets from the bed and shoved them in the washing machine. She didn't want to smell him. She didn't want to be wearing his clothes. She just couldn't.

In the final stage of the pretending-Luke-was-never-ever-here mission, Lorelai mixed some dishwashing detergent and cold water together to scrub the blood from the carpet. Her mind was blank as she worked, determined to just not think about him, or William, or Stars Hollow.

Lorelai sat in the Wrangler, her hands clutching the steering wheel in a death grip. Her hands were still shaking, and she could feel the ache growing in her chest. God, she wanted him. God, she hated him. God, she missed him.

"No, you can't think about it," Lorelai told herself harshly, through gritted teeth.

Mind still fuzzy, Lorelai started the jeep and flicked through the radio stations, trying to find something, anything to distract her. Sadly all of the available stations wouldn't know what good music was if it hit them in the face with Phish's Heavy Things.

"Gah!" Lorelai exclaimed in frustration.

She felt the panic build up in the pit of her stomach. "No," She told herself, "Not again."

Lorelai forced herself to focus on breathing in and out, in and out.

Breathe in… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Breathe out… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Breath in… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5….

Lorelai felt herself starting to calm down a little. She let out a deep sigh of relief as the panic receded, no longer quite as tangible as before. She knew she wouldn't be able to avoid it for much longer. It had come on quickly and strongly. However, using her breathing exercises helped her make sure that when the attack actually started, she would be safe in the confines of her home.

She reversed slowly out of the parking lot, her mind a little hazy. She was a little worried about driving in her current state but she knew she had no choice. Having the panic attack in a public parking lot wasn't a good idea. Lorelai was a private person. Sharing her weaknesses in public was definitely not appealing.

Lorelai pulled out into the busy Boston traffic, heading towards home, and safety.

She hadn't rung Luke after he had left. It had been too hard. But he had rung her.

Lorelai had just arrived home from work. It had been two days since she had broken down in front of Luke and had blatantly told him about what she had been going through, but she could still see his presence everywhere. She had avoided sitting on the couch, because he had sat there. She had thrown out the coffee cup he had given her and had thrown out the cup she had given him his tea in.

He was everywhere.

And she hated it.

She hated that he had managed to integrate himself into her apartment, her fresh start, in a matter of moments. She hated that she couldn't sleep in her room anymore because he had slept there. She hated that she had been reduced to a girl walking on eggshells again, all because she wasn't sure when the next attack would begin or what would trigger it or how long it would last.

When she walked through the door she noticed that the answering machine was blinking, indicating that someone had left message. Initially, she had assumed it was Rory or Sookie who had left the message.

A couple of seconds after she hit the play button and was in the midst of hanging up her coat, she knew how wrong she had been. Well, you know what they say about assuming things… She couldn't help but think to herself bitterly as his voice, nervous and awkward, filled the room.

"Uh, hi, Lorelai," Luke stammered, "I, um, just wanted to make sure you were okay and um, that you weren't doing bad after, ah, everything that happened."

He fell silent, clearly struggling with what he should say next. "You haven't called, which means you probably don't need my help, but I just wanted to say that my offer still stands. Always will. I'll help you, with anything you need no matter what… I got your number from Sookie. I had to bribe her with a few details from Boston, but, I, ah, didn't say anything about the, um, bed, thing… I didn't know if you wanted anyone to, ah, know, about what happened… I just told her we saw each other in the bar then I went home… I hope that's, um, okay…"

"Well, anyway, I hope you're alright… Please, call me, and ah, let me know because… Well, because seeing you made me miss you and when I miss you I get kind of worried and I don't want to be worrying about you every second of every day… I know we didn't land anywhere on the whole are-we-friends conversation but I hope we can be, or at least try… Well, good bye Lorelai. I miss you."

Lorelai had stared blankly at the answering machine, hands shaking, threatening her with another episode of weakness and torment. She shifted her gaze down at her hands and knew that she couldn't call him. It would just make dealing with it all again so much harder.

Silently, she reached for the answering machine and deleted the message.

Lorelai let out a sigh as she sank to the floor, hands shaking. She squeezed her eyes shut as the shaking spread from her hands to the rest of her body.

"You're safe," Lorelai whispered to herself, as she rocked herself back and forth in a desperate attempt to calm herself, "You're okay."

He was gone again.

She was alone again.

Lorelai Gilmore was anything but okay.

Lorelai drove the jeep slowly, carefully, not quite taking in her surroundings. She was too busy concentrating on her breathing. If she couldn't breathe, she couldn't drive. If she couldn't drive, she couldn't get home. And if she couldn't get home… Well, it just wasn't an option.

Breathe in… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Breathe out… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Breath in… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5….

Lorelai turned a corner, hearting beating fast and heavy.

Breathe in… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Breathe out… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Breath in… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5….

"No, not yet," She muttered to herself, "I'm not ready."

Breathe in… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Breathe out… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Breath in… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5….

She could feel herself starting to sweat a little.

Breathe in… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Breathe out… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Breath in… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5….

"Not good, not good," She chanted through gritted teeth.

Breathe in… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Breathe out… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Breath in… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5….

Lorelai turned another corner just as she felt the next stage of the attack begin.

Breathe in… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Breathe out… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Breath in… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5….

Her brain felt like it was being compressed between two rocks.

Breathe in… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Breathe out… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Breath in… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5….

"Okay, really not good," Lorelai told herself.

Breathe in… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Breathe out… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Breath in… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5….

Lorelai was struggling with keeping her eyes on the road.

Breathe in… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Breathe out… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5… Breath in… 1… 2… 3… 4… 5….

"Just a little bit longer," She pleaded with herself, "Come on, please…"

Lorelai felt her breathing start to return to normal.

"Oh, thank Jesus, Mary, Joseph and the Camel!" She exclaimed, letting out a sigh of relief at having successfully putting off the attack for a little longer.

As she settled down a little, Lorelai focussed more on the road and her surroundings. Luckily for her, the traffic was pretty busy so she was really only moving at a slow crawl.

That was when Lorelai heard what song was playing on the radio.

"Now that I've worn out, I've worn out the world..." crooned the soft, sweet voice that was implanted eternally in her brain.

"Bloody hell," Lorelai swore, just as she caught sight of something moving towards her at high speed in the corner of her eye.

"I'm on my knees in fascination, looking through the night… And the moon's never seen me before…"

Lorelai felt panic erupt through her in a way she had never felt before. Her body was shaking and her lungs were on fire. She was drowning.

"And the moon's never seen me before…"

A grey Mercedes hurtled towards her. Lorelai stared at the vehicle with wide eyes, frozen.

"But I'm reflecting light…"

With the screeching sound of metal on metal echoing through her mind, Lorelai's felt an excruciating pain rip through her shaking body. Her mind went dark, granting her the relief she had been so desperate to find.

Luke Danes scrubbed at the counter in the diner, wondering for the billionth time why on earth Lorelai had never called him back. It had been weeks- months, in fact, and she hadn't once bothered to give him a call to let him know that she was okay, that she was surviving.

He had been worried sick about her for weeks, but he had stopped leaving her messages on her answering machine because she never deigned to call him back. It was clear she didn't want any contact with him.

Luke knew she must have heard his messages and he knew she must have actually been in the apartment when he had called a few times because he had made sure to call her in the morning, around the time she usually woke up and just before she usually went to bed.

He understood that she was probably hurting, because of William and because of the attacks, but he just wanted to know she was safe. Luke had gotten so worried a couple of weeks after Boston that he had rung Rory, only to find that she wasn't taking his calls either. Why, he wasn't quite sure but he guessed it was because Lorelai had asked her not to. Luke had even asked Sookie and Jackson, two of the only Stars Hollow residents who ever heard from the curly haired women who was ignoring him, but they had just looked at him with sad eyes and walked away.

It had also occurred to him that Lorelai just didn't care about him, that she had just been using him for the sex and that there was nothing between them anymore.

But he had shaken that thought from his mind because he knew that there was still something between them- Boston had only served to prove that theory. Luke knew he still loved her, despite everything she had done to him and he guessed she felt the same, despite everything he had done to her.

As he wiped the counter, he noticed Babette and Patty glancing at him every now and then with concerned looks on their faces. He shot them an angry glare and they quickly looked away.

"Luke?" Asked Kirk from his seat- Lorelai's seat- at the counter.

"Yes, Kirk?" Luke asked with a sigh.

"Do you think you could make me some more of that stuff you made before? The pancakes with the Cajun flavouring? I think Lulu would really like them," Kirk said, his face impassive.

Luke stared at Kirk. The 'Cajun flavoured pancakes' as Kirk so naively called them were burned pieces of toast.

"Please?" Kirk asked again, after he realised that a reply from Luke was not forthcoming.

"Oh, alright," Luke muttered, heading back into the kitchen and throwing his dishrag over his shoulder.

Cooking- bad or not- would help him get his mind of Lorelai.

Just as he popped a couple slices of bread into the toaster, the phone rang.

Luke made a mad dash to the phone, hoping beyond hopes that it was Lorelai.

It wasn't.

"Hello, may I ask who this number belongs to?" A cool, female voice asked. The woman's voice sounded clinical and sterile, like she belonged behind a desk at some mental institution.

"Luke Danes," Luke replied, confused. He didn't get many calls from people who had no clue who they were ringing. He was pretty sure that everyone in Stars Hollow knew the diner's number off by heart.

"Luke Danes, my name is Allison Ross. I'm a nurse at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston," The woman informed him, before asking, "Do you know a woman with dark curly hair, blue eyes, tall, thin and in her late 30's?"

Luke felt his heart stop for a second. That description could only belong to one woman in his life.

"Mr. Danes?"

"Yes, I know her," Luke answered a little bit too casually, sensing that whatever reason the woman had for calling him about Lorelai wasn't a good one. She was a nurse, working at a hospital after all. He didn't think they just called random people giving out a physical description of Lorelai Gilmore for no reason.

"Can you please tell me her name? We haven't been able to find any identification yet, just a cellphone. This number was the first on the programmed speed dial. I was hoping you'd be able to get us in contact with her next of kin, or any family, if you yourself aren't," Allison asked him, sounding out each word slowly.

"What?" Luke asked her. He didn't understand. Well, he understood. He just couldn't process it..

"This woman, she's been in a car accident. She's seriously injured. Can you please tell me her name?"

"Injured? Car accident?" Luke asked in a pained whisper. God, he could imagine it in his eyes. The brown jeep, mangled and in ruins. Lorelai, lying in a odd position, blood staining her beautiful face. In the back of his mind, he realised the diner had suddenly gone dead silent. They were all listening, but he didn't care. This was more important.

"Yes. We aren't sure how badly yet, but she does have several broken ribs, a broken leg and arm," Allison informed him, before asking again, "I know this is hard, but can you tell me her name?"

"Broken ribs. Broken leg. Broken arm," Luke repeated dumbly.

"Her name, Mr. Danes," Allison repeated once again, this time a little forcefully.

"Lorelai, Lorelai Gilmore."

Allison paused on the other end of the phone, probably writing down the name. "And what is your relationship with the victim?"

"I'm her ex-fiance… A friend or acquaintance now, I guess," Luke replied.

"Oh, not family then. Do you have the details of her family members?" Allison asked, a little disappointed.

"Yes. Her parents, Emily and Richard Gilmore. They are the only Gilmores in Hartford. Her daughter, Rory, is a journalist away in the Middle East covering the Syrian crisis. I think she said her grandparents were in Europe for the next few months when I last saw her," Luke informed the woman, suddenly wondering what would happen now. Rory wasn't around. Lorelai's parents weren't. She had no one else.

"Ah. That may make it difficult to contact them," Allison said softly.

"Yes…"

"Does she have any other family in the area?"

"No, not that I know of," Luke told her honestly.

"Well, until we can get in contact with her family, would it be okay if I use this number if I need anymore information?"

"Information?" Luke asked blankly.

"If Miss Gilmore has no family available it would be good for us, as medical staff, to know her medical history. I assume you would know that as her ex-fiance..." Allison trailed off.

Luke stayed silent for a moment. His eyes shifted around the diner quickly and saw all eyes on him, ears focused intently on his end of the conversation

"Could you, ah, give me a moment?" Luke asked Allison.

"Of course."

Luke gripped the phone tightly in his hand, jaw tight.

"Lorelai's been in an accident?" Miss Patty asked softly, brave enough to just ask for confirmation of what she thought had happened.

Luke nodded slowly, feeling like the wind had been knocked out of him.

Caeser chose that moment to walk out of the kitchen. He immediately noted the look on his boss's face. It was not a good face, he knew.

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly, suddenly realising just how silent the diner was.

Luke shook his head. No, he was not okay. Nothing about the situation he was in was okay.

Caeser nodded. He looked around at everyone's shocked faces again. "What happened? Did Taylor tell you about the Old Fashioned Milkshake Shoppe? Or did Kirk set up "Kirk's" again?"

"Caeser, sweetie," Miss Patty said, "Luke's just had a bit of bad news." The older women stood up to physically move Caeser away from Luke, figuring the Mexican's safety might be in jeopardy. Luke had that look on his face, the one one that told everyone to be cautious if they didn't want to be on the receiving end of one of Luke's foul moods.

"Bad news?" Caeser asked. "He looks like someone just told him his dog died, but Luke has never had a dog, not really anyway because Paul Anka was more Lorelai's dog than his…"

Patty winced when Caeser thoughtlessly said Lorelai's name. Everyone watched as Luke closed his hands tightly into fists, obviously trying to control some kind of emotion- pain, or anger, or something else entirely.

"Honey, this is about you-know-who, so let's just leave Luke be for a moment…" Miss Patty said, pulling the man away from Luke then giving him a good shove back towards the kitchen.

The dance teacher turned her gaze back to Luke and asked him, "What are you going to do? You can't just do nothing, Luke. This is Lorelai we're talking about here."

Luke nodded. There was nothing else to say.

Suddenly Zach appeared at his side, saying, "Lane and I will help, Caeser too. Brian might lend a hand too if we get swamped. Don't worry about the diner. Pack and go to her, man, this is your chance."

"Chance?"

"Chance to see her again, dude," Zach elaborated, "And be all Mr. Nice Guy. Chicks dig that."

"Right, right," Luke said. Zach had a point; this was his chance to see her again.

"You should go, doll," Babette chimed in from her seat.

Luke looked around and saw that the rest of his customers- Andrew, Gypsy, Bootsy and half a dozen others- were nodding, agreeing with Babette, Patty and Zach.

Luke raised the phone back up to his ear and told Allison, "Don't worry about ringing me again, I'll come to Boston. She should have someone who knows her there when she wakes up… I should be there in a few hours."

"Oh, you don't have to do that. I'm sure you're very busy," Allison told him politely, wondering what was inspiring him to rush to the side of his ex-fiance. It was an interesting dynamic in their relationship, that was for sure.

"I want to," Luke informed her quickly.

"Alright then… In the meantime, could you give me the contact information for her parents and daughter?"

Luke rattled off the numbers she asked for, then hung up the phone. He looked around at the diner again. Miss Patty and Babette were looking at him with wide eyes, looking a little torn. They had just overheard the scoop of the year- Stars Hollow had been quiet on the gossip front for a few months now- but it wasn't a good thing. The town loved Lorelai Gilmore fiercely. They couldn't be happy about what they had just overheard but they could be happy that Luke had been called.

"It must be a good thing, if they rang Luke first?" Luke heard Babette ask Patty.

"I'm not sure... Did he say Boston?"

"Yeah, Boston..."

Patty paused before asking her fellow broad, "Wasn't Luke in Boston a few months ago? He's been agitated since he came back... Do you think that maybe...?"

Babette's eyes widened as her mind made the connection, "I don't know, maybe... It makes sense..."

Luke cut the diner talk off by saying awkwardly to the room, "I'm going to go, um, pack."

He headed for the stairs. As soon as the curtain swung back across the entrance, he heard the diner erupt in a flurry of conversation. Luke couldn't help but smile a little. He had expected nothing less, and the residents of Stars Hollow had not disappointed. He imagined that they had all pulled out their phones by now to spread the news about Lorelai.

Luke opened the door to the apartment, immediately crossing to the wardrobe in a few quick strides. He pulled out flannel shirts and the few good sweaters he owned. He shoved them into a canvas sack along with a few undershirts and a couple of pairs of jeans.

As he continued to pack a few other necessities, Luke remembered a phone call he had received a few weeks ago which had helped him to make the decision to stop calling Lorelai, in hope that she would pick up eventually.

The diner was packed and Luke was busy balancing a pile of plates in his arms when the phone rang. Luke sighed and quickly placed the plates on the counter before he turned to answer the ringing phone.

"Hello, Luke's Diner," Luke greeted whoever was on the other end of the phone. He suspected at the back of his mind that it was Tom calling to place an order for lunch. The building crew had been especially busy recently, dealing with a load of new builds- much to Taylor's distaste and Luke's delight- in a new subsection of Stars Hollow. Apparently, small town life was all the rage.

"Kate Albright, am I speaking to Luke Danes?" A female asked. Luke frowned. The noise in the diner was making it hard to hear the woman speak.

"Hang on, hang on," Luke said into the phone, pulling the cord behind him as he headed into the storeroom to try and get some privacy. From the tone of the woman on the phone, he guessed this had nothing to do with food. "Okay," Luke said as he took a seat on a crate, "Could you repeat that please?"

"Hello, I'm Kate Albright. I was wondering if I was speaking to Luke Danes? I believe he is the owner of the establishment," The woman named Kate repeated for his benefit.

"That would be me, yes," Luke responded, wondering why the name sounded familiar.

"Good, good. If you have the time, I was hoping I would be able to speak to you about a matter of importance and significant sensitivity," Kate explained loosely.

"I've got time," Luke replied simply.

"Good. As stated before, my name is Kate. I believe you know my client, Lorelai Gilmore, quite well," Kate said, raising her voice at the end to make her statement questioning.

"You could say that," Luke answered, "Are you her shrink?"

"I prefer the term therapist," Kate chastised him quietly.

"Sorry."

"I was just calling because Lorelai informed me a few days ago that you ran into each other in a bar," Kate explained to him. "To be honest, I'm concerned. Lorelai was recovering extremely well considering her condition. However recently she has become increasingly agitated. We were making good progress before and I believe seeing you a few weeks ago has brought back a lot of the painful memories she has of your relationship. Now, I know it may be difficult, but if you care for her at all I would appreciate it if you refrain from making any further contact with Lorelai. She's not going to get better if she has to keep pulling herself together after seeing or hearing from you. She's strong, but not that strong. I know you understand that William has already left her in a delicate state, so I'm sure you understand why I'm asking you to do this."

Luke took a moment to process the shrink's request. "Aren't you supposed to confront your problems instead of running away from them?" He asked Kate, feeling like he had heard that somewhere before.

"Until you've faced your problems, you can't ever truly move on from something. However, what I'm concerned about right now is that instead of Lorelai moving forward, she has moved backwards as a result of your visit... She isn't going to get better if you force her into facing something she isn't ready for, Mr. Danes," Kate informed him.

Luke considered what Kate was telling him. It made sense, and he hated the idea that seeing him had made her worse. God, he never would have left her alone in that apartment or maybe he wouldn't have even said anything to her at the bar at all. "Alright," He agreed finally, "I'll leave Lorelai alone, for her sake."

"Thank you, Mr. Danes," Kate said softly.

"I have a question," Luke told her after a moment of silence. His brain was trying to process everything but he had never been a quick thinker. He just needed to know that she was okay, or that she would be okay.

"Ask away."

"Is she going to get better? Are her treatments, or whatever, working?"

"I can't discuss that with you. You're not Lorelai, or immediate family," Kate old him.

"Oh, okay," Luke said with a sigh, admitting defeat. He knew it had been a long shot. All doctors, including shrinks, were big on the whole patient privacy thing.

"Goodbye Mr. Danes. Have a good day," Kate said before hanging up the phone.

Luke dropped the phone into his lap, letting out another sigh. Thoughts of regret and feelings of guilt swirled around him as he remembered how Kate had basically accused him of making everything worse. He hated feeling so powerless. He couldn't help Lorelai. He couldn't fix her problems for her. If anything, he had only created more problems.

Luke slung the canvas bag over his shoulder when he was done. In it was everything he could possibly need while he was in Boston. He wasn't sure how long he would be gone for, but he figured he should be prepared. If Rory and Lorelai's parents couldn't get back to help her, he wanted to be the one who was there for her when she needed someone… Just like he used to be.

He hurried down the stairs, hoping the traffic wouldn't be too bad. Lorelai was alone in a hospital, broken and bruised. She needed someone and Luke would be that someone whether she wanted him to be or not.

Lorelai's eyes felt like they were sewn shut. She couldn't find the strength to open them. In fact, she couldn't find the strength to move. It felt like she was weighed down by something- an elephant, maybe?- or covered in a tar-like substance that was seriously restricting any movement. Her mouth was dry and tasted like lead.

And God, everything hurt.

She was aching all over. Her right leg hurt in particular- the same leg she had broken that one time she took a yoga class and had discovered she was a little too competitive for yoga. Her right arm felt like it was wrapped in concrete and her right side was stinging.

She couldn't help the small whimper that escaped her lips.

"Lorelai?" She heard a voice ask her. The voice was familiar but it sounded muffled, like she was underwater and the person speaking was somewhere on land, trying to get her attention.

Lorelai couldn't find any words to respond. She couldn't even remember how to respond. Her lips just wouldn't move so she settled on letting out another whimper of pain because it seemed it was all she could manage.

"Lorelai? It's me, Luke… I'll go get the nurses or something, just hold on… It won't hurt for much longer," The voice told her, trailing off. She heard loud thuds and in the back of her mind she connected that sound with someone walking away.

Luke. The name was familiar. The voice was familiar, but still, she couldn't quite place who the person was.

All she could focus on was the pain which was no longer quite as muted as it was.

Then she heard the heavy thudding sound again, the footstep sound, quickly followed by another set of thudding, not quite as heavy or loud as the first set of thudding footsteps.

Lorelai fought to try and open her eyes. She wanted to see the people who had entered the room and insisted on making the annoying elephant sounds that made her brain feel like it was going to pull a Chernobyl. But her eyes refused to cooperate with her.

She let out another whimper, this time more in annoyance than anything else.

She felt something warm, a hand, she guessed, gently move against the side of her face.

"It's okay, Lorelai, you're okay, safe," The reassuring voice that belonged to Luke said softly.

Lorelai let herself relax. The voice was nice and something told her that she could trust the voice. She was safe, she was going to be okay because the voice told her so.

The hand continued to move, this time over her hair. It was comforting and felt right, natural. Lorelai found herself understanding why dogs, why Paul Anka, liked being petted so much. It was just nice. It wouldn't be that bad, to be a dog, even if you were a nutty one and were scared of everything from peas- frozen or unfrozen- to your own shadow.

As the hand continued to reassure her, Lorelai felt something seeping through her veins. Whatever it was, it was nice. It made her feel like she was floating on a cloud somewhere, detached from all the pain that her body was feeling. The voice murmured something, but Lorelai couldn't hear it. She was too far away on her little cloud of happiness.

Lorelai felt herself slipping a little. Darkness was starting to cloud her mind. She started to panic. She didn't like the dark. She liked all the bright, colourful things in life. But the hand continued to move and the voice continued to murmur soothing words, and she just knew that whatever was happening, it was alright.

She was safe. She was okay. There was nothing to worry about.

The voice said so.

She trusted the voice.

Lorelai believed the person named Luke.

Luke spent hours sitting in an uncomfortable hospital chair, in a dimly lit room, eyes fixed on the unmoving form of the woman he loved more than life itself. She had started to wake up a few times but each time she had been in so much pain that he had gone and fetched a nurse.

Every whimper of pain Lorelai let out cut him like a knife. He hated seeing her wrapped up in bandages and plaster like she was, cuts from broken glass covering her face. When he had first walked in and seen her, he had just walked out again. That was how bad it was.

Luke also couldn't help the inexplicable feeling of guilt that weighed heavily in the pit of his stomach. He knew he hadn't caused the crash- no, that honour belonged to the drunken idiot driving the other car- but he had heard the doctors talking. She had stopped driving in the middle of heavy Boston traffic because she was experiencing a panic attack. That was what made him feel guilty because he knew that she only experienced the attacks because of him. He was the dirtbag that had reduced Lorelai Gilmore to an emotional mess. He was the one that had made her feel so bad that seeing someone who looked like him or anything that reminded her of him, could make her feel an overwhelming sense of fear. That was why he felt guilty, and that was one of the reasons why he was continuing his silent vigil. He had barely left her side. The only times he had left was to buy something to eat or drink, or to visit the bathroom, but even then it was only for a few minutes.

Luke wanted to be there when she woke up properly. He wanted to be the one who was there for her, who could explain what had happened. He wanted to be the one to inform her gently that Rory couldn't come home for weeks, because the crisis in Syria was just that bad. He wanted to be the one to inform her that her parents were cutting their Europe trip short and would be home in a few days. He wanted to be the one to give her the baskets of baking and home cooked meals Sookie had sent as an apology for not being able to get away because of her fourth pregnancy, and her responsibilities that were three kids and a husband. Luke just wanted to be the one who was there for her.

"Luke?" Called a soft voice. It was heavy and uncertain, but there was no mistake. The voice belonged to Lorelai Gilmore.

He turned his head to look at her and saw that she had turned her head. She was looking at him with the big blue eyes she shared with Rory and he knew that she was scared.

"Lorelai, you're awake," Luke stated, letting the words slip out of his mouth in a sigh of relief. The darker part of his subconscious had speculated that she might never wake up and he would never get that chance that Zach had talked about.

"I…" Lorelai started, voice still laced with drugs, "I… I can't feel my legs."

Luke stood up quickly and sat on the edge of the bed, careful not to jostle her at all. He knew she probably wouldn't be able to feel it, but he didn't want to risk the chance of causing her anymore pain than he already had.

"Why can't I feel my legs? Or my arms? And why is it so hard to talk?" Lorelai asked him slowly, taking her time as she said the words with difficulty.

"You were in an accident," Luke told her honestly, feeling no need to beat around the bush.

"I was at the mall… The lady held up a blue dress and all I could see was eyes… Then there was a car and it was coming towards me and the song was playing…" Lorelai said, eyes opening even wider as she grew more agitated with every word she spoke. It was all starting to come back to her and she couldn't help but feel the fear start to take over again. Before it took over completely, Luke's hand started to move over her hair again, reassuring her with his touch.

"Shhh, it's okay," Luke told her softly. "Don't think about it just now, alright? The nurses will be in soon and they can talk to you. Just relax, please."

"But the car and the song-"

"Lorelai, don't worry about it, please. It's okay, you're okay. Everything's going to be okay, trust me."

Lorelai looked up at him, eyes moving in and out of focus. "I trust you," She told him with a certainty and conviction he hadn't heard in a very long time, "I trust your voice."

Luke blinked but didn't let her odd comment phase him. He knew the comment would make sense to her and that was all that mattered.

"Where's Rory?"

"In Syria, covering the news story. I talked to her a few hours ago but she can't get home for a few more weeks. She says she's very sorry and she'll ring you later," Luke explained, relaying the information he had been commanded by the younger Gilmore to share.

Lorelai nodded in a way that made him aware that it was taking her a lot of effort to make such a simple and small movement. "Good, she should stay there. She's doesn't need to worry about me," Lorelai said.

"Of course she needs to. She's your daughter and your best friend. Rory loves you," Luke told Lorelai.

"I know but she should focus on her job, not me. I'll be fine. I'm always fine," Lorelai said to herself more than Luke.

"Yeah, you'll be fine," Luke agreed with a small smile.

Lorelai stayed silent for a few minutes, staring up at the ceiling.

"Why are you here?" She asked.

"What do you mean?" Luke questioned, confused.

Lorelai swallowed hard then elaborated, "What are you doing here in a hospital with your ex-fiance who hasn't spoken to you in months? Who hasn't spoken to you since a one night stand and has ignored every voicemail, every text, every letter you've sent?"

"Ah, that," Luke responded, understanding. "I was working and I got a call from a nurse. She said they couldn't find any identification for a woman who had been in a car accident and that the diner number was the first number on the speed dial. I knew it was you from the description. But I also knew your parents were away in Europe and that Rory was in Syria because she told me during her last visit that she was going. I didn't want you to be alone so I packed a bag and got in the truck."

"What about the diner?" Lorelai asked him.

"Lane, Zach and Caesar have it covered."

"And April?" Lorelai asked after hesitating.

Luke hadn't missed her hesitation, but figured that would be a conversation best saved for later so he filed it away in the back of his brain. "April understands the situation. She knows how important you are to me."

Lorelai nodded again, with the same amount of difficulty as before. Thinking about April hurt more than she could deal with, so Lorelai quickly pushed the teenager from her mind.

"That's good," She murmured softly, feeling her eyes close of their own accord. She made an attempt to open them again but found that they were too heavy with sleep to lift without considerable force. "Did you bring your toolbox? I think you'll need that pinch-bar of yours to pry my eyes open," Lorelai informed him, through the last few words came out slurred with drugs and tiredness.

Luke laughed softly and told her, "Go to sleep, Lorelai. I'll be here when you wake up."

"Mmm, okay," Lorelai mumbled, already slipping back under.

Luke watched her until her breathing steadied, indicating she had fallen into a deep slumber. It wasn't easy for him to see her like she was, but it was definitely reassuring to him that she was up to making jokes. Whether or not she was using humour to cover up her thoughts or feelings was a whole different issue for him and he knew he'd have to deal with that idea later.

Luke hesitated a moment before he leant over and gently pressed his lips to her forehead. As he pulled back, he took a moment to just look at her. He didn't focus on any of the bruises or the cuts from the accident. Instead he chose to just look at her. He noticed how sweet and peaceful she looked, lost in her drug induced dreams. Her lips were turned up slightly at the corners in a smile. He liked that. It had been a long time since he had seen her smile and even longer since he has seen a genuine, 'Lorelai' smile on her lips. He had no other way to describe that smile, because in his mind it was just her. It was everything she was and it hadn't been all that long ago that he had lived for those smiles. Here had been days in their friendship where he had tried to see how many of those smiles he could earn in one of her short visits to the diner. His record was twelve and every one of those smiles was imprinted forever in his memory. Luke was of the opinion that he wouldn't be able to forget any of them even if he tried.

He stayed by her side for a moment longer before he stood with a sigh. Luke returned to his chair, prepared to continue his silent vigil until she woke again.

"For the last time, Luke, you are going back to Stars Hollow and I am going back to my apartment," Lorelai informed her self-appointed 'caregiver' as she managed to hop around the hospital room on her crutches. She was looking for a magazine Sookie had given her that had inevitably been thrown across the room in a fit of despair after she had discovered that she was a 'summer'. It was a well known fact that if Lorelai Gilmore was a season, she would be 'winter,' because, snow, duh.

Luke watched her progress around the room. A sigh escaped his lips at her words, mainly because they had been having this very argument for the last week. She was being discharged from the hospital. She could go home. But the problem was that the hospital needed to know that she wouldn't be alone in her apartment because of her injuries and because of the ongoing risk of a head injury making its presence known.

Of course, Luke had volunteered.

And of course, Lorelai had shut him down.

But the truth was, she was running out of options.

Sookie couldn't help. Her fourth pregnancy had subjected the bubbly chef to another period of bed rest much to her own horror.

Lorelai's parents had been sent back to Europe by Lorelai herself. Their presence in her life had just been stressing her out so she had told them to go, continue their holiday, and everything would be fine because she had the best doctors and the best friends known to man. Emily had pursed her lips, glanced at Luke who had been sitting in his hospital chair in his customary silence, then had strode out of the room with a bitter, "Fine," as her parting gift. Richard had quickly followed out after saying a hurried goodbye to his daughter.

And the youngest Gilmore, Rory, was still in Syria. Lorelai and Rory had spoken every day on the phone and grainy video calls on Skype, but it hadn't made the situation any better. Rory was far away and she couldn't get back. It was already a dangerous place for a journalist, let alone a female journalist and with the country in turmoil as it was, Lorelai had informed her daughter that she would be not taking any risks because she wanted her best friend and fruit of her loin back in one piece.

"You need to have someone stay in the apartment, Lorelai. No one else has volunteered but me. So that's what happening. I will stay in the apartment with you until you don't need someone anymore… Now that is final," Luke told her firmly.

Lorelai spun around to face him. She shook her head. "This is not another stupid Final Destination movie where I keep trying to outwit fate but eventually it catches up with me and everyone dies anyway. This,' She gestured between them, "Is not final. Not unless I say. I don't answer to any higher being. A car is not going to plow into a café somewhere if I refuse to let you stay at my apartment."

Luke rolled his eyes. He had no clue what she was on about, once again. "Lorelai, I am staying with you until I don't need to anymore. Stop arguing with me," He replied.

"Well, I don't need you," Lorelai responded bluntly.

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don't."

"Yes."

"No."

"Ye-"

"No!"

Luke raised his brows at her indignant response. "Getting flustered?"

"Shut up," Lorelai answered, a scowl resting in her face.

Luke did as she bid. If she didn't want him to talk, that was fine. That he didn't care about. The only thing he cared about was her safety.

"You really don't have to, you know,"Lorelai told him softly.

Luke looked at her with raised brows. He didn't say anything.

Lorelai let out an annoyed sigh, "You can speak now. I didn't mean you had to shut up forever."

"Really? Good, I wasn't sure how long you wanted me to shut up-"

"Luke." Lorelai looked at him pointedly, her face serious.

Luke nodded slowly, replying, "I know I don't have to, but I want to."

"Okay," Lorelai said softly, biting her lip. She looked at him for a few moments before she turned her head, unable to continue looking into his eyes. There was too much there.

"Okay," Luke agreed, watching her and noticing how uncomfortable she seemed. It wasn't a nice feeling realising that someone you cared about found spending time with you uncomfortable. He turned his head away as well, not wanting to make her feel worse. Luke moved around her to the hospital chair in the back corner, moving it aside to grab the magazine she had been searching for. "Here," he said as he held the magazine out to her.

"Thanks," Lorelai responded, taking the offering, careful not to meet his intense gaze.

An hour or so later, Luke found himself helping Lorelai up the stairs to her Boston apartment. She had only been on crutches for a few days (she would've been in a wheelchair, but Lorelai had thrown things around her hospital room until the hospital staff had conceded that maybe crutches would be a better alternative) and she was still a little shaky. They tired her out quickly, much to Lorelai's annoyance. Every time she stumbled Luke's hands snaked out to quickly steady her then move away again as fast as possible, only because every time he helped her Luke was on the receiving end of a well aimed glare.

"Stop helping me!" Lorelai told him angrily as he stopped her from falling yet again. They were on the fourth flight of stairs, almost at the apartment, but Lorelai was finding it harder and harder to keep going. Her frustration was finding an outlet in yelling at Luke.

"If I don't help you, you'll fall down three full flights of stairs and you'll probably crack your head open and die a painful death which means I have spent the last two weeks in the hospital with you for nothing," Luke told her gruffly.

"I hate feeling like an invalid," Lorelai muttered as she started heading up the stairs again, feeling a little bad for yelling at him. He didn't deserve it.

Luke couldn't help but roll his eyes at her comment. "You are an invalid," He reminded her, readjusting his hold of their bags. Lorelai had tried to carry her bag and use her crutches for twenty minutes before she realised just how futile her attempts were. She was stubborn to say the least.

"Thanks for the encouragement," Lorelai retorted.

"You're welcome," he responded sagely.

Lorelai let out a sigh as she kept hopping up the stairs, taking them one at a time. It was a slow process but Lorelai was determined to walk the whole way up to her apartment. They could have taken the elevator, but again Lorelai had been too stubborn to take the easy option.

It was another twenty minutes before they made it to the apartment. Lorelai fumbled around for a moment in her purse in her search for the key. Luke had to stop himself from commenting on her messy purse. She found the key and unlocked the door.

Lorelai pushed the door open and hopped inside. Luke followed her into the living area and immediately noticed that several major changes had been implemented in the months they had been apart. She had laid down new carpet, had brought a new sofa set and a new rug. He turned his head and saw she had renovated the entire kitchen- right down to new bar stools and a new bench top.

Luke frowned. She had replaced specific things, that much was clear.

Lorelai noticed him taking in all the differences and told him quietly, "I needed to forget."

He nodded slowly as he realised exactly what she meant. She had got rid of everything that had served as a reminder of that night. That hurt, but he understood why she had needed to do it. Lorelai wasn't the type who could move on if reminders were staring her in the face.

"Just make yourself at home, then," Lorelai told him, quickly diffusing the possibility of an argument or an in depth conversation. There was a time and a place to deal with those issues and now was certainly not the right time.

"What room would you like me to stay in?" Luke asked Lorelai, careful to keep his face neutral. She didn't need to know that he was hurting like he was. It wouldn't help her at all.

Lorelai considered a moment before she told him, "The third door on the left."

Luke nodded, then headed straight down the hall to find the room. When he went inside he noted that it was a simple room, but a nice one. It was decorated in true Lorelai fashion, everything a little different and unique. The fact that she had gotten all the pieces to work together was a true testament to her eye for detail. He couldn't help but notice that the lamp on the bedside table was similar to one they had picked out together when they had renovated the Crap Shack.

He dumped his bag of belongings on the ground, turning his eyes away from the lamp. You are not here because you're in love with her, Luke reminded himself internally, you're here because you were friends and you owe her for putting her through all the suffering that she went through.

Luke couldn't help but sigh. He was lying to himself, he knew that. He did love her. He had never been able to stop, regardless of how hard he had tried. He had done everything possible to not love her- he had dated, he had kept his distance, he had even made a list of all the reasons he shouldn't love her. Admittedly it was a rather short list, but still, it was a list.

But he knew that Lorelai would probably never come back to him. Luke had hurt her too much. She was a survivor, so he knew that if anything happened between them, she would see it as a mistake. She would want to protect herself from him. She wouldn't be willing to give them another go unless she was certain she could trust him. If the past was anything to go by, she probably couldn't even trust herself to know if he was really 'all in'. Luke had told her that before and then he'd left her at the first sign of trouble.

You're an asshole, he thought to himself before walking to put Lorelai's bag away in her room.

Upon entry, Luke immediately noticed that she had brought a new bed frame and sheets for her room. She had also replaced the chair in the corner of the room, the night stands and the lounge chair at the end of the bed. He wasn't surprised. He also figured that if he glanced in her ensuite, he would find the room had also been extensively renovated.

Luke let out a sigh as he put her bag down on the chaise at the end of the bed. He couldn't help but think that maybe he shouldn't have forced himself on her like this or maybe he should have searched harder for someone else to stay with her.

"What are you doing in my room?" Lorelai's voice asked from behind him.

Luke jumped at the sudden question. He hadn't heard her approach. Turning around to face her, he saw she was standing in the doorway, looking at him with her brows raised in question. "Jeez, Lorelai," He said, "Don't sneak up on me like that."

"Don't blame me for your inability to hear, Beethoven," Lorelai responded. "And you still haven't answered my question, mister."

Luke rolled his eyes. "I was just putting your bag from the hospital in here so I didn't have to watch you struggle to get it in here for half an hour."

"Oh, well, thanks," Lorelai thanked him softly. Her face looked a little worried, and Luke figured it was because she was wondering if she would have to Extreme Home Make Over the apartment again. "I put some mini pizzas and chicken nuggets on for me. I figured you wouldn't want any but I don't really have any rabbit food in the house besides a bag of lettuce and maybe a tomato, so if you want something I can ring and get a salad delivered?"

Luke watched as she spoke animatedly, covering up any expression of worry. "You thought right. I can't believe you still eat that stuff. It's a wonder you're not dead yet… And, ah, yeah, a salad sounds good. But a salad delivered? I didn't know that they did that."

Lorelai grinned at him and said, "Welcome to Boston, baby!"

Rolling his eyes again, Luke told hers, "Go order my salad."

"Whatever," Lorelai answered, turning on her crutches to go order the salad.

Luke let out a sigh as soon as she was out of hearing distance, before he followed her out to the kitchen area. Lorelai was on the phone already, ordering a salad for him and from the sound of it, a garlic bread and pretzel sticks for herself.

"You're going to have a heart attack," Luke told her bluntly, leaning forward and resting his forearms on the counter.

"But at least I won't die in a car accident," Lorelai replied.

"That isn't funny," Luke told her, "You could've."

"I know."

"And I would've been the first person they would have called," Luke continued.

"I know," Lorelai replied softly. She had thought about that too, late at night in the the hospital when Luke had fallen asleep and she had had a bit of time to herself.

"I would've been the first person to know you had died," He stated.

"I know," Lorelai told him, stressing the 'know' part.

"Do you?" Luke asked.

Lorelai sighed. It seemed they would be discussing the heavy stuff now. "Yes, I do," she informed Luke.

"Because I don't think you do," He told her honestly, "Am I still your first speed dial contact?" He watched as she hesitated to reply, then nodded. He wasn't even surprised. "I told you last time I was here that I miss you and to call me, but you never did. We hadn't talked for months and then I get this phone call, saying that you had been in a car accident while I was working in the diner. Everyone was there- Miss Patty, Babette, Kirk, Andrew, Gypsy- they all heard my end of the conversation which wasn't particularly eloquent if I'm being honest with you. Words and stuff weren't my hottest priority right at that moment... But if they had called to find out the identity of a dead woman- a dead you- I don't know what I would've done, Lorelai. I honestly have no clue if I could have even-"

Lorelai interrupted his rant with a forceful, "I know."

He let out a sigh. Luke couldn't quite believe that she knew that it physically hurt him to imagine what it would have been like to find out like that.

"If you want," Lorelai told him, 'I'll take you off my speed dial."

Luke shook his head. "No, it has to be me, doesn't it? Rory's always away. Your parents are getting older and Sookie has her own family to worry about," Luke explained his reasoning. As much as he would hate to experience a similar phone call to the one he had had about her car accident, it was also potentially the only way he would ever know if something major happened in her life.

"Okay then," Lorelai said, "Look, I know you have a lot of questions, didactic Socrates, and we have a lot of things to talk about but could we talk about all of that really heavy stuff in two weeks? I need some time to gather my thoughts and heal and mope and all those things. I'm just not ready, Luke."

"Heavy stuff?"

Lorelai nodded slowly.

"I'm going to need you to elaborate a little on that," Luke said, eyebrows furrowing.

Lorelai sighed before she muttered, "April, Christopher, our relationship, Andrew and Gypsy's wedding, the Boston Bar Incident... The list goes on, I'm sure."

He looked at her for a while before he just asked, "Two weeks?"

"Two weeks," Lorelai agreed, "We'll take two weeks to clear our heads and figure out what we want to say and then… And then we will talk, all day and the next day if we have to."

"You think that will fix everything?" Luke questioned.

"No, I really don't think it will fix everything, Luke… But I think it'll be a start."

"Alright then."

"Deal?"

"Deal."

Lorelai smiled at Luke before saying, "I think my nuggets and pizza will be ready by now."

"I'll get them out for you," He told her, moving around her to do so. "Go sit down, pick a movie. I'll bring them over on a plate."

"Okay," Lorelai said a little too happily, giving Luke the sneaking suspicion that getting him to do the things he had suggested had been her plan all along, "Can you put some sauce on the plate? Should be some in the fridge."

"Sure," Luke responded, before adding, "Don't choose anything too girly."

"Don't worry, I will," Lorelai answered cheekily as she hopped over into the living room.

Luke sighed, busying himself with putting her meal together. Two weeks seemed like an awfully long time to him. In that time, anything could happen. Who knew if they would even be speaking to each other in two weeks?

"It's only two weeks, then you will have all the answers you need," Luke told himself quietly under his breath, "Just don't screw it up."

"Are you coming, Jeeves?" Lorelai called brightly from the other room, all too happy to treat him like the live-in manservant he had offered to be.

"Yeah, I'm coming, hold your horses," Luke told her, as he carried her plate of death and diabetes through into the lounge.

They sat down together on the couch to watch the movie Lorelai had picked out, "Martha Marcy May Marlene". Lorelai munched her way through her plate of food and Luke ate his salad, which had arrived not too long after the movie had started.

Lorelai made fun of the acting cast, calling them out for their over dramatic portrayals of paranoia and the abusive cult the main character had escaped from. Luke sat and listened to her comments, occasionally joining in with one of his own, creating a light natural banter between the two that was painfully reminiscent of old times.

When the movie ended, Luke took the plates to do the dishes. Lorelai followed behind him on her crutches, asking for his opinion on the movie.

"It was okay I guess. I think I liked that other one better, that Casa-something one, that you made me watch years ago," Luke admitted as he ran water in the sink.

"Really?" Lorelai asked, surprised. "You liked Casablanca more?"

"Yeah. This one was a little bit too nutty. The other one was fruity, not nutty," Luke told her.

"'Fruity, not nutty,'" Lorelai parroted, her lips pursed to hold back laughter at Luke's explanation of the two very different films. "You my friend, are a true connoisseur," She commented.

"Yeah well, let me choose the film tomorrow night and I'll show what a good film looks like," Luke told her, reaching for a tea towel to dry the dishes he had washed.

Lorelai let an indignant snort, "I don't think so, Mr-I-Know-Nothing-About-Good-Films."

"Oh, come on, Lorelai. I'm going to be here for weeks. You can at least let me choose one film," Luke said in an attempt at coercion.

"Ah, no," Lorelai replied, "And weeks? You'll be gone as soon as possible, let me assure you of that. I don't need a babysitter."

"Well, I have at least two weeks," Luke reminded her as he put the plates and their cutlery away,

Lorelai nodded, falling into silence at the mention of their impending 'talk'. She was pretty sure there would be more yelling and crying than actual talking.

"You should go to sleep," Luke told her quietly.

"Yeah, I will," Lorelai replied, glad of the excuse to leave, "Good night, Luke."

"Good night, Lorelai," Luke responded.

Lorelai made her way to her room, trying not to think about what would happen in two weeks. She knew she needed to figure out other things before she even touched that. One of those things was how she felt about Luke. She had spent the last few months ping-ponging between hate and guilt and sadness and longing and something akin to love.

She managed to get changed into an old t-shirt and pyjama shorts by herself, a feat she was very proud of and pleased about. Asking Luke for assistance would have been a little bit too embarrassing for her. Lorelai also successfully brushed her teeth and hair as well before she slipped beneath the covers of her bed.

Then she was lying alone, in the dark, with nothing but her thoughts to keep her company.

Did she still love Luke?

It was a very simple question with an incredibly complicated answer.

She didn't even know where to begin to answer that question.

Yes, she did have feelings for him but it wasn't obvious if they were residual feelings from when they were together. Were they even real feelings? Or were they some weird part of her imagination? She was still full of pain killers after all. Or was it just that she still liked the idea of him? Luke, the diner man, the best friend, the handy man, the protector.

Lorelai had no clue.

The only thing she knew as she lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling, was that she was incredibly lonely. She missed having Luke in her life. She missed Stars Hollow. But she knew that thinking about actually going back would mean seriously confronting the reason behind her recurring panic attacks. It would mean a lot of pain- physical and emotional.

Lorelai lay in her bed for at least another hour before she couldn't handle it anymore. Even if she didn't love him, she missed him. She missed having someone to hold her, friend or otherwise.

She pulled herself up off the bed and fumbled for her crutches in the dark. Lorelai made her way to the door, opened it, then slipped out quietly into a dark hallway. She tiptoed over to Luke's bedroom door and hesitated outside. Did she go in? Was he sleeping?

"You can come in, Lorelai," She heard Luke call from inside the room.

Lorelai couldn't help the sheepish smile that spread over her lips as she opened the door to his room. Luke was sitting up, leaning backwards on the headboard.

"How did you know?" Lorelai asked him.

"Your crutches aren't exactly quiet," Luke explained with a small smile pulling at the corners of his mouth.

"Sorry," Lorelai apologized, "I wasn't sure if you would be awake or not."

"I know," Luke responded, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, I just couldn't sleep," Lorelai told him.

Luke raised his brows. That couldn't be the only reason. She wouldn't have made the effort to cross the hall in the darkness on her crutches otherwise.

"I've missed you," Lorelai admitted softly, honestly.

"I've missed you too," Luke informed her quietly, before patting the empty space beside him on the bed. "Come in, you can stay with me. It might help us both sleep."

Lorelai looked at him before nodding. "I'd like that," She told him, before hopping over to the left side of the bed. She put her crutches down then got in beside him. "Thanks," she murmured softly as he helped her by holding up the covers as she maneuvered her plastered leg in between the sheets.

"No problem," he answered.

"I didn't come here to make anything awkward between us," Lorelai said after a moment of silence, "I know we haven't sorted out what we are to each other, or where we stand."

"It's okay, Lorelai," Luke told her, "Tonight, we're just friends."

"Just friends," Lorelai repeated softly.

"Just friends who are sleeping together entirely platonically because they've missed each other after not seeing each other for a very long time," Luke elaborated.

"Right," Lorelai murmured. She didn't think they could ever be just friends, but tonight, she was willing to be platonic if it meant that she could have him close to her. Luke Danes was her security blanket when he was near her.

"You can use me as a pillow," Luke told her softly.

"Thanks," Lorelai said, shuffling over a little to rest her head on his chest. She could feel the his warm breath in her hair. It was a nice feeling.

"Go to sleep, Lorelai, you need your rest."

"Okay, Luke," Lorelai replied as her mouth opened in an involuntary yawn.

"Good night, Lorelai," Luke whispered into her mop of brown curls.

"Good night, Luke," Lorelai murmured back against the white cotton shirt that covered his upper body.

Luke waited until he was sure she was fast asleep before he whispered softly, "Sweet dreams, Lorelai." He pressed his lips to the top of her head before he let himself fall asleep, feeling more content than he had for a very long time.

"I'm bored," Lorelai announced to the living room, which was empty except for Luke. He was sitting quite comfortably on the couch flicking through a fishing magazine.

"I know," Luke responded, not bothering to look up. Lorelai had been bored since day one of her 'house arrest,' as she so fondly called it.

Lorelai rolled her eyes. "How would you know? You've been reading that useless magazine for the past three hours and you haven't been paying any attention to me at all," She told him.

"You've been flicking through television channels like a madman for the last hour, you keep jiggling your leg up and down like you're on steroids and every half hour you mindlessly say "I'm bored" like I can somehow fix it," Luke answered, turning the pages of his magazine.

Lorelai sighed in defeat. He was right.

"How about you call Rory?" Luke suggested the minute she started humming.

"She's off the grid for the next two days," Lorelai informed him.

"What about Sookie?"

"She's pregnant with three kids and Jackson. Too busy."

"Alright, try Babette or Miss Patty," Luke proposed, desperately trying to think of other people she could annoy to give him another half an hour of peace. Lorelai could be ridiculously annoying when she was bored. The fact that Luke had only left the apartment to get groceries and magazines wasn't helping either. He was cooped up and getting more and more irritable by the second. It was taking everything in him to not just yell at Lorelai to shut up for five minutes. He had forgotten how she could talk incessantly for hours on end, like her life depended on it or something.

"And have them ask me how many times we've bonked on the kitchen counter?" Lorelai retorted.

Luke sighed. "Michel? Your parents?"

"No and um, really no."

"Kirk?"

"Now you're getting desperate," Lorelai commented.

"And you're getting annoying."

"It's what makes me so lovable," Lorelai informed Luke sagely.

Luke looked up at that to give her a pointed look. "Watch a movie, read a book, listen to music. Just do something," He told her, making the decision to not comment on exactly how unlovable he was finding her right then.

"I could talk to you," Lorelai said, as if the idea had only just occurred to her.

"Or you could not," Luke replied.

"I think talking to you till you decide to entertain me will be much more enjoyable."

"To you, not me, right?"

"Right."

"You know when I agreed to watch you I didn't sign on to provide entertainment like some kind of live-in comedian?" Luke asked her.

"It was in the fine print," Lorelai answered him with a grin.

Luke sighed. "Alright, go get changed, I'm taking you out of this stupid apartment. We're going to get you some DVDs, then I'll buy you pizza, ice cream and a milkshake," He said as he stood up, placing his magazine on the coffee table.

"A chocolate milkshake and chunky monkey?" Lorelai asked, her face lighting up like a childs on Christmas morning.

"Whatever you want," Luke informed her.

Lorelai stood up quickly, grabbed her crutches and sped towards her room as fast as her cast leg allowed.

Luke hurried back into the living room, stowing his phone away in his pocket. He stopped in the doorway, letting out a tired sigh at the sight before him.

Lorelai was laid out on the couch, an open bottle of red nail polish beside her on the coffee table, a pile of magazines resting on her stomach supporting the weight of a mini pizza and a bag of Cheetos as she watched- another- Lifetime movie.

"What?" Lorelai asked, barely turning around.

"I told you I was going to make dinner," Luke reminded her.

"So?" Lorelai retorted, placing another Cheeto in her mouth.

Luke rolled his eyes, walking around so he was in front of the television, blocking her view.

"Hey!" Lorelai said indignantly, "That was totally uncalled for."

"It was the only way to get your attention."

"You're blocking The Donna Yaklich Story," Lorelai complained, stretching her neck to try and get a better view of the television.

Luke rolled his eyes. "Donna Yaklich is not good pre-bedtime viewing," He told her.

"What? I have a bedtime now?" Lorelai asked, her voice not hiding her disdain for the concept.

"Last night you went to bed at four in the morning," Luke reminded her, "Now, I don't know about you, but when the doctor says rest, I think he meant for you to get more than a couple of hours of sleep a night."

"Doctor, schmocter," Lorelai muttered, furrowing her brows a little, "And anyway, Reviving Ophelia and Happy Face Killer are unappreciated works of art that demanded my attention."

"They're terrible movies that you've seen at least three times."

Lorelai pouted a little. He was right. He was always right.

"And Donna Yaklich is the worst of them all," Luke continued, crossing his arms over his chest.

Lorelai's mouth fell open in horror. "Excuse me? Donna Yaklich is a masterpiece, a true classic. It follows the harrowing story of a young Donna through a series of flashbacks as she recounts to her son why she murdered her husband. There is violence and tears, steroids and conspiracies, prison and reunited loved ones. What's not to love?" She asked rhetorically, finishing with a dramatic sigh.

"The whole thing."

"You never did appreciate true cinematic masterpieces," Lorelai told him, returning her attention back to the food resting on her stomach.

"Would you stop eating that crap? I'm making you Fettucine Alfredo," Luke asked her. He knew that his request was futile but there was a little bit of hope niggling at the back of his mind, wrongly thinking that Lorelai might actually listen to him for once.

Lorelai looked up at him with disbelieving eyes, informing him, "If I can eat four Thanksgiving dinners in one day, I think I can handle a bag of Cheeto's, a mini pizza and some pasta."

"Fine," Luke sighed in defeat, holding his hands up in surrender. "But if you can't eat the pasta, that's on you."

"Sure, sure," Lorelai replied, gesturing him to move out of the way so she could watch her movie.

Before Luke could respond, Lorelai's cellphone rang. She groaned as she moved her stack of magazines and food off her, swinging her legs around so she was in a sitting position. She answered the ringing phone just as Luke gave up and headed back to the kitchen.

Luke moved around the counter to the stove, grabbing hold of the wooden spoon resting in a saucepan. He stirred the sauce around absentmindedly, as he tried not to wonder who Lorelai was talking to in the other room. Since the accident Lorelai had received many calls from her parents, from Rory, from Sookie and Michel, but Luke had noted that there were also a number of calls she had declined to answer after reading the Caller ID. He had originally thought that the calls were coming from William, but that theory had fallen through when Luke had realised she only answered certain calls if he wasn't in the room.

He checked the pasta to find that it was almost cooked, much to his own relief.

Luke pottered around in the kitchen for a good ten minutes, cleaning up as he went and occasionally adding another sprig of parsley or thyme to his sauce. He eventually worked himself up to head back out into the lounge, to find Lorelai putting her phone back down on the table.

"Who was that?" Luke asked, a little too casually, as he sat down at the other end of the couch.

Lorelai pursed her lips. It was very clear that she didn't want to tell him who she had talking to. Instead, she resumed her previous position on the couch, lying down and placing her stack of magazines, pizza and bag of chips back on her stomach.

Luke pulled her feet so hat they were resting on his lap before he said, warningly, "Lorelai."

"Luke," Lorelai responded in exactly the same tone.

"This whole living in peace for five more days thing isn't going to work if you can't be honest with me," Luke replied.

"This whole living in peace for five more days thing isn't going to work if you keep asking personal and probing questions" Lorelai refuted.

Luke cocked an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Really."

"You don't think I have a right to know who you were talking to?" Luke asked.

"Nope," Lorelai answered.

"And why not?"

"Because it was my private business."

"Okay, if you're not telling me, it must be because you it will make me angry," Luke reasoned out loud.

Lorelai stayed silent, letting Luke know that he was on the right track.

"So who was it? Jason? Max Medina? Christopher?"

"Uh, I haven't spoken to Max in years. Jason isn't speaking to me since Sookie tricked him into thinking his apartment was on fire and Christopher couldn't care less about me right now if he didn't think we'd somehow end up sleeping together again."

"So then who was it?" Luke asked, trying to ignore the spark of pain at the mention of sleeping with Rory's father 'again'.

"I told you, it's none of your business," Lorelai informed him with a roll of her eyes.

Luke sighed, turning his attention to the crappy movie she had been watching. He was seething a little. It was incredibly frustrating for him to not know what was going on in her life, especially when he thought they had made a bit of progress.

"My therapist."

"What?" Luke asked, head snapping around to look at Lorelai, who looked as contrite as much as Lorelai was able.

"My therapist rang," Lorelai admitted, eyes a little downcast.

"Alright," Luke allowed, trying to figure out exactly why she had been trying to keep that from him.

Lorelai must have seen the confusion on his face because she quickly offered an explanation, "She wanted to ask how I was doing considering everything."

"Considering the accident?" Luke asked, wanting clarification.

"Well, that, and you."

"Me?"

"You being here, with me, in the apartment, all the time," Lorelai explained further, her gaze slipping downwards.

"Oh, that," Luke answered.

"Yeah, that," Lorelai agreed.

They fell into a prickly silence.

"What did you tell her?" Luke asked, after a while. He really didn't want therapy to become another issue they would have to fight about when they had their 'talk.'

Lorelai considered what she was going to say before she opened her mouth. It was one of the more interesting differences in her personality Luke had noticed during their time together. She had become more weary of what she was going to say. Lorelai thought things through now, and Luke could only speculate as to why that was. He figured the habit had developed as a result of the therapy, but he suspected it was more than just that. "I told her that we were good," Lorelai informed Luke, rather simply.

"Are we?"

"Good?"

"Yeah."

"We are."

"Did she say anything else?" Luke inquired.

"She asked when I would be able to come into therapy again," Lorelai replied.

"Oh," Luke said, before asking, "What did you say?"

"I said I could probably get a taxi in to see her whenever it worked," Lorelai answered. "It wouldn't be too much of an issue and I wanted to get out of the house anyway."

"I could drive you," Luke offered.

"That would be good," Lorelai agreed.

Silence prevailed yet again. It stretched between them for at least five minutes before Lorelai gathered enough courage to ask what was on her mind.

"And, there was something else Kate wanted," Lorelai admitted.

"What was that?" Luke asked.

"She wanted to know if you would agree to talk to her," Lorelai said, a little too quietly.

Luke paused before he nodded. "I'll talk to Kate."

"Okay," Lorelai said softly, a quiet drifting between them again as they both turned their attention back to the television. She had asked and he had agreed. That was that.