A/N: Hey guys sorry this chapter has taken me so long to update. When I started on this chapter it headed in a direction I didn't want it to go so I took a small break. There is a little more detail on this about Kensi and where she went, I hope it answers a couple questions for you guys.

Kensi sat down on her bed wrapped in her bath robe still trying to decide what to wear when she heard a knock at the door, looking at the clock she realizes she has thirty minutes and he was early. She throws on a pair of shorts and strapless top and runs to the door "you're early" she says opening the door only to find that it's Jack on the other side.. "What do you want?" she asks

"Hey.. wow um I was wondering if we could maybe go out for dinner.. I feel I should explain things" he says

"That won't be happening I have plans tonight" she says coldly

"Maybe some other time?"

"I don't think so" she says shutting the door. She walks to the fridge and grabs a beer taking sip as she sinks into the couch staring at the ceiling trying to figure out why he showed up at this point in her life wanting to explain himself, he left her years ago and pops up expecting things to be normal. Did he really expect her to wait on him all these years? How the hell did he know where she lived? She's brought back to reality by the sound of knocking on her door. She finishes off the beer and grabs another figuring it's Jack again. She pulls the curtain back a little to peak realizing it's Deeks she opens the door with a smile and taking a moment to look for any unfamiliar cars.

"Uh Kens you okay?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"You are checking your surroundings and I'm pretty sure that is at least your second beer because I heard the last bottle land in the garbage. So either you are really nervous about tonight or you're avoiding someone, did your cat pee on Ms. Johnson's Azaleas again?."

Kensi chuckled "No, I'm sorry it's just.. you know what lets not talk about this right now and enjoy our night. You got everything or do we need to make any stops?"

"I got the blankets and the beers are in the cooler with lots of ice I figured we would grab the tacos on the way so they didn't go cold by the time I got you and got to the beach."

"Well then lets go, I'm starving" she said shutting the door behind her

"Of course you are Kens" he laughs

"Hey I didn't have my normal after work twinkie cut me some slack mister"

"Wow that's a first.. trying a new diet?"

"No. I just figured it would take away from the time I had to get ready and then I would have ended up eating the whole box.. and you know" although after Jack showing up that whole box of twinkies and six pack in her fridge sounded really good right now

"yeah I know you would have ate the whole box and then you would mope around because you ate your last twinkie that you could have saved for when they kick your favorite off Top Model." he says with a small chuckle noticing she was some where else in her mind.

"I have a tub of rocky road in my freezer for that." she says

"Our kids are gonna have the worst diet ever with your junk food influences"

"Our kids!?"

"No no I said your kids not our kids..."

"You are totally stuck on mutant assassins."

"They can only be mutant assassins with you though because face it I won't find another girl like you." he says with a smile

"Won't or Can't" she laughs "you know work is gonna suck with out you now"

"What else was I suppose to do Kens? You pretty much blocked me out after the Haven Scott case. Sam and I, we get along better now after I didn't give up Michelle but I could tell he wanted his partner back."

"You know Ray told me you are a sucker for brunettes but you tend to go for blondes."

Arriving at the beach close to Deeks favorite spot and food shack he chuckles to himself I'm gonna kill him if I ever see him again. He turns to her and says "Have you ever had a guy call you by another girls name?"

"Well I do tend to use an alias when I go for my little escapades.. so yes" she doesn't even bother making eye contact because she knows where the conversation is going and it's not really fair for her to make him communicate when she is hiding so much from him. "But I know what you're saying."

"Do you?" he asks getting out to start gathering the blankets and cooler.

"Yes Deeks. For once I won't make you say it." she says taking the blankets

Deeks led the way to his favorite spot and set the cooler down and went to get the food while Kensi laid the blanket out and sat down watching the waves and thinking about her trip and how there was one thing missing.. or rather someone.. and how no matter how hard she tried she couldn't get him off her mind. It really wasn't fair how she treated him when she even had dinner with a guy who was too big headed and could not hold her attention.

Deeks returned with dinner and sat down next to her watching as she looked out at the waves lost in thought. He knew there was so much she was hiding not just the normal stuff he longed to know about her, This was new, something she was afraid of telling him because of his reaction, he had known this after she stepped off the plane but he wasn't going to call her out. He wanted her to be ready on her own.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Deeks inquired drawing her from the reverie she was in.

"I'll take a taco and a beer instead" she replied with a small smile. She hated being so distant with him after everything he had gone through and them getting closer as partner and friends and the fine line between that and something more getting blurred more and more and she couldn't help but be angry with herself. She was no longer mad at him after the Haven Scott case, she no longer cared what happened between him and Rayne because she was the one who hopped on a plane to Costa Rica to get away from everything that happened, to clear her head and heart to make sure this was what she wanted. She met Gage and turned him down but his persistence was too much and she gave in to shut him up, he had an ego that was beyond annoying to her and she actually got up and left before her dinner had arrived. He wasn't him, her partner, her best friend, her something more that she kept at arms length for fear of waking up and finding him gone like she did years ago with Jack. That was the thing though Deeks wasn't Jack and she knew that he would never leave on his own accord. She finally makes eye contact and takes a deep breathe before speaking knowing that what she says could make or break them, there is nothing but patience in his eyes and she takes it as a good sign. "I was more mad at myself than I was at you. I was unfair, I left with out saying much to you and ignored your calls and texts."

"I did the same to you too Kens."

"I know but your reasons were different and understandable. I ran because I was scared and unsure of things. I thought getting away would make it all better."

"And set us back to what we were before Sidorov? That you would forget about the kiss?"

His questions stung. She didn't intend for it to sound that way but maybe he was right. What if that was the real reason she left. "I wanted to make sure that this is what I wanted. That I was ready to take this step."

"Did you meet anyone?" he asks

"Yeah I did but I left before my food arrived. I just couldn't do it." she says

"Why?"

"He wasn't you" she whispered