I'd Rather Kiss a Wookie Chapter 4: The difference between Sith and Jedi
A month had passed since Anastasia pledged herself to be Darth Vader's apprentice. Though only two of those weeks had been spent training, the first two she spent in a Bacta Tank recovering from her condition that she acquired in the time Vader had spent 'persuading' her that being his apprentice was in her best interests. The two following weeks had been spent beginning her training. She soon understood that while she could connect with the force with great ease, manipulating it was a rather different matter and in that her skill lacked. Her skills with the light saber were shockingly inadequate. Vader had even commented on her inability to handle a light saber as one that was far more disturbing than her inability to manipulate the force.
Anastasia sat at her desk of the relatively small quarters she had been granted, she watched a screen that was embedded in the wall that showed symbols and terms of Basic the language that the empire used as the standard form of communication. She was in the process of getting caught up with her new life. She did not realize just how primitive Earth was in comparison to the Empire. It was a wakeup call when she left the Bacta tank. Anastasia had set it upon herself when she was not training with Vader to get caught up knowledge wise with the Empire.
"Excuse me Anastasia, Lord Vader is expecting you." The metallic voice of C4SB the protocol droid that had been assigned to her when she got lost the first time she was allowed to wander the halls of the Death Star sounded from by the door. Anastasia nodded and stood moving quickly to the dresser pulling out an imperial grey coat and put it on over her black turtle neck shirt. She had been provided with the uniform along with her room and a light saber. All 'perks' of being Vader's apprentice. She personally did not care for the imperial uniform but at the same time it was all that was available.
Once she had the jacket on and straightened she walked over to the door clipping her light saber to her belt as she went.
"Alright C4 lets go."
"This way please." C4SB said turning and walked out of the room into the hall. Its movements were stiff and it moved quickly making up for the short distance of its stride. Anastasia followed alongside C4 able to keep up with ease. Over the two weeks of her training she had developed more muscle strength than she ever had before. The ability to keep pace with a droid was a simple task. What she had not expected was what she found when she had C4 take her around the Death Star; there was a city within the station. She had spent hours wandering the lower levels of the Death Star in which the city existed. She had been surprised at the number of shops and bars which she came to know as cantinas she also found that these lower levels housed most of the personnel on the Death Star. Beneath those city levels was the station management levels. It had been rather shocking to find that personnel families living aboard the Death Star was not uncommon. As expected the upper levels of the station were restricted to those in service of the empires military.
Anastasia however was not permitted to the lower levels of the station unless she had the express permission of Darth Vader. She had one of the few rooms that was designated as military barracks. She had never heard of Vader wandering down to the lower levels of the station but she expected that he didn't seek social settings like that.
Upon arriving at the door to room FI4 one of the smaller training rooms for the Troopers that Vader had turned into their training room, the door slid open and C4 stood next to the doorway and waited. Anastasia walked into the room knowing that Vader had not yet arrived. She could sense him moving through the death star towards the training room. While Anastasia was not expected at the training room for another twenty minutes she had always had a habit of being early when she was expected somewhere.
The extra time in the training room also gave her a chance to meditate before Vader arrived. She had not yet used the force much and meditating before training aided her in connecting with the force. She had hopes that she would progress and be able to actually manipulate the force around her. She knew that Vader was quickly becoming frustrated with her lack of ability.
She sat on the floor and closing her eyes let herself drift away from the present and merge with the force. She did not focus on the life that surrounded her but rather sought to connect to the force so that she could bend it to her will. She found no difficulty in connecting to the force but to bend it to her will was a different matter. Each time she attempted to take hold of the force she found it like trying to catch smoke with her bare hands. Still she did not give up and kept trying to grab hold of the force.
She did not surface from her meditations until she felt Vader's presence just outside the door to the training room. She opened her eyes as her master walked in the training room. She stood and greeted Vader with a simple word.
"Master."
"I sense you have questions." He stated simply as he stood before her waiting. Anastasia faltered slightly, it was unsettling to her that he was able to do that; sense her thoughts.
"Ah, yes master. I was wondering about the force, I do not understand why I have been unable to manipulate it as you do."
"You lack focus and trust in the force. That is why you fail."
"Master I meditate at least ten times a day. I could tell where anyone on this station is. I do not lack focus."
"You are untrained in the ways of the force. What you consider focus is a narrow view."
"Narrow or not should I not be able to manipulate the force that I can connect with?" Anastasia had to jump back as Vader activated his light saber and attacked her. She fumbled with her saber and turning it on holding it up in time to block an attack. The force of the blow nearly caused Anastasia to lose grip of her saber and sever her own arm. The next blow caused her to stagger back and trip over a meditation mat, she fell backwards and Vader hit her blade out of her hands. He held the tip of his light saber towards Anastasia's throat and said.
"Your failure to trust in the force leads you to death. Along with your inability to control your emotions." Anastasia glared up at Vader, she listened to his instruction and yet she did not improve.
"I am trying." She said the frustration clear in her voice. Vader lowered his sword and said as he took a half step back.
"Clearly not, now pick up your light saber." Anastasia glared at Vader and picked up her light saber kicking the meditation mat out of the center of the room she hit the button turning it on. She had to duck as Vader turned quickly swinging his saber through the air where her neck would have been. Anastasia stumbled to the side as she blocked Vader's blade again. She knew he was going easy on her, she had no doubt that if he had been fighting for real that she would have been dead twice over by now. Regardless she was still being beaten down.
Vader was more skilled a fighter, not to mention that he was simply stronger physically. Anastasia blocked another strike which hit her saber with such a force that it pushed her own blade back to graze her shoulder burning through the imperial uniform and charring her skin. Anastasia gave a small cry as she was burned by her own blade.
"You must use your anger to give you strength." Vader said as he swung at Anastasia again. She was on the retreat now the burn on her shoulder caused her arm to feel weak. Exactly how much damage she had inflicted upon herself with her poor skills was yet to be determined. She could still move her arm so she hadn't hurt herself terribly bad this time. Indeed she had burnt herself with her light saber before. She had been lucky so far in that all of the damage she had inflicted upon herself was just to her skin.
They sparred for a while longer and the entirety of it was spent with Anastasia trying to block Vader's light saber and not cut off her own arm. When she was unable to block Vader would pull his strike at the last moment and would leave a burn behind. Anastasia blocked again and tried to take a step back but found herself pinned between Vader and the wall. He hit the light saber out of her hands and said.
"You need to be aware of your surroundings. You focus so much on defending yourself against me and you leave yourself open to be pushed into traps and ambushes." Anastasia nodded slightly her breath heavy as she tried to control the shaking in her arms from the burns. Vader studied her for a moment then lowered his blade and took a step back. He had to remind himself that Anastasia had no training before she became his apprentice. While he was impressed by her ability to connect with the force and sense the world around her it was a thin silver lining to her inability with the other skills a padawan would be comfortable with.
"Your training is done for the day. Go treat your burns and work on using the force."
"Master?" Anastasia asked as Vader turned to leave the room. He paused turning his head slightly to look at her over his shoulder he said.
"What is it?"
"I was looking at the database and I found myself confused by the mechanics of droids. Would it be alright if I went down to the mechanics center? It's below the imperial levels."
"Why not have your droid explain it to you?"
"I asked but C4 admitted that his knowledge was lacking with such information."
"Very well. You have my consent to go to the mechanics center in your free time." With that he left. Anastasia grimaced in pain as she picked up her light saber and clipped it to her belt. When Vader left C4 had come into the room and said.
"Goodness! Miss you are injured again." Anastasia sighed as she walked towards the droid and the door.
"Yea lets head back to my room. I have the medicine there."
"I certainly hope that Lord Vader is not being too hard on you. With you spending all of your time training."
"It's not that is he being hard on me C4, I am not improving." C4 did not comment after that but led Anastasia back to her room where she grit her teeth as she removed her now ruined grey jacket and eased her black turtle neck off to reveal near half a dozen light saber burns. C4 walked over to the dresser and picked up a metal tin and brought it to Anastasia. It was filled with an ointment that helped to heal burns.
"Thank you C4." Anastasia said as she took the tin and began to apply it to the fresh burns. She had several other burns that had happened in previous training sessions. She cringed as the ointment began to ease the pain of the burns. Once she had treated her fresh burns she put a smaller amount on some of the older burns that had yet to completely heal. She grimaced at the sight of her own arms covered in burns. They were turning into ugly red scars, they would stay with Anastasia for the most of her life, she knew that if she wanted to prevent further scars she would have to improve with her fighting skills.
Setting aside the ointment she took a fresh turtle neck from the dresser and pulled it over her head. She glanced at the clock that silently kept time for those aboard the Death Star. It was late in the afternoon if she was going to make it down to the mechanics center she would have to go then.
"C4 we are going to the mechanics center."
"The mechanics center? Oh please don't have me dismantled Anastasia. Have I done something wrong?" Anastasia laughed slightly at the droids concern and said.
"No C4 I am not going to have you dismantled. I just want to talk with the mechanics about droid construction. We never had anything like that on my planet so I don't know anything about it."
"This way then!" C4 said leading out of the room and down the hall. Anastasia sighed slightly and followed the droid. She was beginning to wonder if she was ever become accustomed to the sheer vastness of the world.
Anastasia had normally gone around in full imperial uniform; it had helped her blend in with the other personnel of the station. She did not blend well with the personnel mainly because she was a women and it seemed that there was a sever lack of female officers on the Death Star. Now that she had forsaken her grey jacket she was even more noticeable to the other officers as she walked around with her grey pants and black turtle neck.
She suspected that it was also odd for someone to be led around by a droid. Though no one had stopped her yet so she was also under the impression that they had been made aware of her presence on the Death Star. If there had been no formal announcement about her she knew that rumors had spread. What those rumors were she was not sure. She had not yet gotten to know any of the people aboard the Death Star, and she honestly was fearful of venturing out and trying to befriend anyone. Depending of the rumors that had spread she knew that she would be treated very differently. It was clear from her time spent around Darth Vader that people feared him.
Upon arrival at the mechanics center Anastasia entered leaving C4 to follow her. The center looked more like a warehouse than a center for development and construction. A few humans looked up from their work but did not greet Anastasia or question her they simply returned to their work. Anastasia saw several alien races in the room most notable was the tall furry creature that looked a lot like big foot was supposed to. She wondered if that was how the urban legend came about. She did not seek their attention though and instead of getting the attention of anyone at hand she wandered over to a table. Upon which sat a half-finished construct of some sort, parts lay around a base set up that looked infinitely complex with all the wires and pieces on it. A particular gear lying next to the main construct caught her eye for the smooth curves of the thin arms that held the outer and inner ring together. She picked up the gear and turned it over in her hands examining the small details that covered it.
"Oh Hello I am C4SB, human protocol droid…" Was the only warning Anastasia got as a large hand grabbed her shoulder and spun her around. It was one of the large furry creatures and as soon as it had turned Anastasia around and saw that she had touched the contraption on the table it gave a roar at her and snatched the gear from her before shoving her away from the table.
"Hey! Back away miss!" A man in a grey uniform said pointing his gun at the furry creature. He was going to shoot the beast Anastasia realized. The furry creature roared in an angry tone at the man raising its arms up in frustration. It was then that Anastasia saw its hand were cuffed together, this creature was a prisoner aboard the Death Star.
"No. You will not harm it." She said turning on the man who looked quite shocked. The creature was still giving angry roaring sounds.
"That wookiee will rip off your arms!"
"You would kill it!"
"It will die either way. Why risk your life for this beast?"
"All life is to be cherished! It is not for you to decide who has the right to live or not!" She yelled at the man anger surfacing. Everyone aboard this ship had such a disregard for life that angered Anastasia more than anything. At the word of one man did an entire planet die and it was done at the hands of men who did not think twice about it. Now they were going to kill this Wookiee because it had gotten protective of its project that Anastasia had touched. It was that which angered her more, this Wookiee which worked for the empire was going to be so carelessly discarded.
The shelves around the room rattled as if a tremor went through the ship. She didn't seem to notice though, as everyone in the room was looking nervously around the room as tools rattled off the shelves. Even the upset Wookiee had quieted down the man who was holding the blaster gun was shifting nervously.
'Anastasia…'
"You think that because you are with the empire that you can just do whatever the fuck you want! It is not your job to choose who lives or dies! There is only one god who can make those choices and his name is Death! Are you Death?"
'Control your anger…' The voice echoed in Anastasia's mind as she went on her rage fueled rant that was directed at the man. The air was becoming thick with her emotions the man who held the blaster gun swallowed his fear and said.
"Get out of the way or I will shoot you as well as the Wookiee." The comment made Anastasia's rage break free within her and she wanted to crush the man before her.
'Anastasia! Cease your action.' The voice rang through her thoughts far louder than before. She ignored it and said to the man.
"Shoot me? You will shoot me? I will kill you like you and your lot killed my home and family." Anastasia said the blaster that the man held imploded and the man dropped it staggering back away from her and the wookiee. She took a step forward possessed by the silky essence of the force she was guided by her anger.
It guided her to kill this man that dared threaten her, to take her anger and use it to destroy this man which was a symbol of death to her planet and her breed of humans. She held her hand out at the man her palm open and slowly began to close it. She envisioned that her hand was around his throat and she was crushing the life from him. She found the force to respond to her anger it surrounded her and moved through her. Not the light that she sensed that radiated from those she saw through the force, but rather the dark cloud of silk that surrounded only one other.
"Stop." Vader's voice sounded commanding as he entered the center. It was the sight of him that stopped Anastasia. The sight of her master caused her anger to bury itself deep inside her very soul. As she did so her hold on the force vanished and she looked down at the fearful eyes of the man she had nearly killed. His hand was now at his throat as he gasped for air.
"What happened here?" Vader turned on one of the workers who had been watching the events transpire.
"The wookiee disrespected the lady. When the commander here tried to shoot the wookiee as is standard with the slaves. She got angered and the shelves began to shake and the blaster gun crumbled, then she began to choke the commander as you do when someone has disappointed you Lord Vader."
Vader looked from the man to Anastasia. She stood unmoving waiting for Vader to give some command to her. Yet he only watched her expectantly, she did not need to be told that it was time to go. She walked forward as she passed the commander she said looking down at him.
"Do not harm the Wookiee." She strode quickly past the others in the mechanics center and followed Vader out with C4 walking on stiff legs behind them.
For several minutes Vader said nothing as they walked. Anastasia opened her mind to Vader and reached out to him for she felt too much shame in her actions to speak. Though she had left her mind open to Vader he was closed off from her. She could not sense his emotions and could not tell what he might have been thinking. Anastasia was forced to speak if she wanted any hope of a reaction from Vader.
"Master…" She said in a soft voice as she followed him through the hallways. She was not sure where he was leading her all of the hallways looked the same to her. When Vader suddenly stopped walking she ran right into his back. Anastasia took a step back to have Vader turn slightly and say.
"You fear that I am disappointed."
"Yes Master." She said softly. Vader waved his hand and a door slid open then walked through Anastasia followed him. The room was one of the larger suites that were reserved for generals and high ranking officials. The first room consisted of a sitting room and there was a door against the far wall which she assumed led to the rest of the quarters. As soon as she entered the room the door slid shut blocking out C4. Vader walked over to one of the couches and sat giving an audible sigh he gestured for Anastasia to sit on the couch across from him. She awkwardly sat and waited for him to speak. It was strange to see Vader in such a normal setting. Even stranger to see him sitting and relaxed, everywhere else on the ship he had been straight backed and formal with those he was around. Seeing him now made him appear more human, a fact which was easy to forget when looking at the man covered from head to toe in black.
"Why did you want to save the Wookiee?" Vader eventually asked, Anastasia was not sure how to respond to that question. Regardless she was still trying to figure out if she was in trouble or not.
"I was angry…"
"I know how you felt; I could sense your feelings across the Death Star. Your rage was passionate, more so than when your planet was destroyed. That wasn't what I was asking. I want to know why you felt that way for the Wookiee." Anastasia hugged her knees and said.
"Because I could save him. This whole ship has a disturbing disregard for life. No one thought twice about destroying my planet when you gave the order. They were going to kill that Wookiee because it had pushed me away from its work. It disgusts me how natural killing is for everyone on this ship." As Anastasia explained she found it infuriating that Darth Vader hid his face behind the mask, she couldn't get any sort of idea as to what he was thinking. Any hope she had of seeing regret or guilt for destroying Earth was blocked by his stupid mask.
"Control yourself; you will not so foolishly lose control of your actions again. This is a battle station and as such death is a natural part of its functions. Am I understood?" Vader asked Anastasia forced herself to control her anger, giving a sigh once she had successfully buried her anger she said.
"Yes Master."
"You were clouded by your emotions and were unable to hear me through the force, which is what you must never allow to happen. However, you have finally become able to manipulate the force. You must practice letting your emotions free in a controlled manor and manipulate the force to your will not the urgings of your emotions."
"Master, are there different kinds of force one can use? When I was using the force against that man it did not feel like the force I have come to know. It was not luminous but darker almost silky instead of soft. The only person who has had the force around them in that way was you."
"Yes there are multiple sides of the force, the light side and the dark side. We are Sith and as such we embrace the dark side of the force. It give us greater strength allowing us to use our emotions to fuel our power and give us focus."
"What does the light side give?" Anastasia asked wondering what the true difference was. It seemed that the dark side would be the evil side of the force. Or at least on Earth darkness was always something related to evil.
"The light side is weaker than the dark side, it requires emotionlessness and those who follow its path must give up all attachments and are never permitted things like wealth, friendship, or love." Vader said watching his apprentice carefully now. He had suspected several times that she was not using the dark side of the force whenever she was interacting with it. She had a frustrating ability to keep herself calm and passive even when she had more than enough reason for anger or hate. He had destroyed her planet to make her hate him; so that when she used the dark side of the force she could draw upon her hate and find the connection easier. Only this had not been the case when he taught her, she was so still and calm. Unlike when she had been imprisoned and was unwilling to be his apprentice. Each time he had sought her out in the force he would find her calm, collected. He knew her capable of great emotion, her demonstration in the mechanics center was proof of that. He did not understand however why she buried her emotions, for that was the only way she was able to keep calm. For some reason she had buried her hate and anger so deep within herself that it only surfaced when there was a life in danger and she could help it. A trait far to akin to a Jedi for his liking, she had the makings of a strong Sith. Yet at the present state she was equally likely to become a powerful Jedi. He would have to force her to use the dark side far more, have her dive so deep into the power of the dark side that she could never surface to the light. She had to fall like he did.
( here is the next chapter a little longer than the previous two so I hope you enjoy. I will hopefully get the next chapter up within the week but I have a lot to do before next Monday so It may not be a very long chapter.)