Moving Memories

by itabitaboo

Due to unfortunate events, Naruto's life is turned upside down when he moves from his childhood country home to a place in the city. While starting at university, he finds himself connecting with new people in new ways. He turns from sure that his life is ending to wondering if his life is really only just beginning, but what secrets will his new friends be hiding? (multi pairings)

13. He Loves Me Not

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Moving Memories
13: He Loves Me Not

~ (^.^) (^.^) ~

Sasuke lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling. After a few moments of tense silence, he sighed and looked to his left.

"You have to go home," he said.

A shocked Sai, who'd already been staring at him, frowned. "What?" he asked. "I'm offended. You'd throw me out so easily after a night like that?"

"I said, go home," Sasuke said flatly.

Sai snorted. "Yeah right," he said, turning onto his back and staring up at the ceiling with a cocky grin in place.

Sasuke scowled and sat up in his bed. "I mean it, Sai," he said sternly.

"What happened to you, Sasuke?" Sai asked, sitting up as well. "I was pretty understanding when you decided to stop hunting with me. Personal preference. Whatever. But now? Now you're just some little pet, aren't you? Prancing around for your sweet little human."

Sasuke growled at Sai and narrowed his eyes dangerously. "Watch it Sai, or else..."

Sai barked with laughter. "Or else what?" he asked. "Using your daddy's status to threaten people now? That it?"

Sasuke growled and pinned Sai down on the bed violently. "No, I'm saying that if you don't back the fuck up, I'll kill you myself," he snarled.

Sai smirked, letting his own teeth come out to play. He lifted his head slowly, staring into Sasuke's eyes and judging the situation. Sasuke didn't back up, so Sai took that as an invitation to advance further. Sasuke continued to glare at him menacingly, even when their lips finally touched. The contact was too tender for Sai though, and tender just wasn't in his nature. He switched their positions in a flash, and Sasuke didn't fight him. He simply let Sai have his way. Once on top of Sasuke, Sai jerked the man's head back by pulling on his hair and licked up the column of his neck.

"It's so hot when you talk like that," he whispered in Sasuke's ear.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "I wasn't trying to turn you on."

"Too bad," Sai replied, sucking a particularly sensitive spot on Sasuke's neck. "Mission failed," he said, and then he bit into Sasuke's neck harshly.

Immediately, Sasuke bucked his hips and growled, his hands gripping Sai's sides roughly. Sai moaned loudly as he sucked the wound on Sasuke's neck. Sasuke hissed angrily, so Sai obligingly placed his wrist against Sasuke's lips. Without a second thought, Sasuke latched on and began sucking from the wound there too. For a few, blissful minutes, they simply fed on each other that way.

Once Sai decided that he'd had enough, he detached from Sasuke's throat. Sasuke didn't stop, but Sai didn't protest. He let Sasuke continue while he ground down on the man's hips, scratching trails down Sasuke's chest with the nails of his free hand. Sasuke growled and gripped Sai's wrist harder. Just as he was getting lost in ecstasy, Sasuke's entire field of vision blurred heavily before refocusing again. He recognized the sensation immediately and shoved Sai off of him. In less than a second, he was standing in front of a window in his living room, poised to jump out in all his half-naked glory. Sai hissed disapprovingly, but Sasuke ignored him. His vision blurred again and he felt a light pulse in his head. He gripped the window sill tightly, debating on what to do and feeling the situation out. He often overreacted to these things. But if he didn't act at all, then he'd get really restless and irritable. Sai was at his side a moment later, rubbing his shoulders.

"Come back to bed," he whispered in Sasuke's ear, pressing his body against Sasuke's back fully. If Sasuke had been a lesser man, he would've been persuaded.

"No," Sasuke said decidedly as he turned and walked back up into his room to get dressed. "I've gotta go, and so do you."

Sai growled. "What's the fucking deal with that boy?" he ground out. "We're not made to love to them, Sasuke. We're made to kill them."

"You wouldn't understand," Sasuke replied, "and how would you even know where I'm going?"

"It's not rocket science," Sai said, rolling his eyes. "Plus, I still get a little inkling from my blood bond. You haven't quite won him over yet."

Sasuke looked over his shoulder at Sai with dark eyes and bared fangs. "All the better reason for you to leave!" he spat. If Sai had been a lesser man, he would've been intimidated. When Sai didn't move, Sasuke added, "I will fucking kill you, Sai. Get out."

Not wanting to cause unnecessary trouble, Sai sighed. "Fine," he said unhappily as he walked up the steps into the bedroom to gather his things. Despite having vampire speed, he went about his business very slowly.

He knew that he was fairly matched with Sasuke, even though Sasuke was pretty terrifying when he got serious. Sai didn't want to rile him up for no good reason though. Sasuke was still his toy. He enjoyed playing with the man, and he didn't want to lose these little sexcapades. Driving Sasuke away would only put Sai himself in a bad mood. Plus, maybe once Sasuke got his little blond fuck, then they could play with him together. After all, Sasuke was bound to get over this whole domesticated bullshit as soon as he got what he wanted, and he obviously wanted Naruto.

As soon as he felt Sai's presence disappear from the area, Sasuke finished dressing at lightning speed and left too. Moments later, he was crouching on the garden ledge of a familiar window. The window was open though, something that it had never been before. Warily, Sasuke crawled in. He crept to the doorway and quietly listened to Naruto mumble to himself. He didn't need to hear the words to understand what Naruto was saying though, seeing as his head kept pulsing lightly. He stood in the doorway and simply watched Naruto for a few moments, the pulsing in his head never stopping. Eventually, he spoke.

"You really shouldn't leave your window open, dobe," he said. He was displeased when Naruto didn't startle though.

"Hm," Naruto hummed pensively, looking up at Sasuke calmly.

"What?" Sasuke asked.

"You came," Naruto said simply.

Sasuke shrugged. "I thought we were friends," he said. "That means I can come over. Doesn't it?"

Naruto stared at Sasuke intensely for a moment. "Do you always come?" he asked.

"I don't know what you mean," Sasuke said.

"When I call for you," Naruto supplied. "Do you always come?"

Sasuke paused for a moment. "Do you always call for me?" he asked.

"I don't know what exactly 'calling for you' entails," Naruto said. "You'll have to tell me how often I do it so I can figure that out."

"Is that why the window was open?" Sasuke asked. Naruto nodded. "And how did you figure out that you could call on me?" he asked.

"Kankuro told me I could call him," Naruto replied, "so I thought it might work for you. Are there rules?"

"There has to be a bond for it to work," Sasuke informed. "Any vampire who's tasted your blood has a blood bond to you. That forces a connection, whether you want it or not. Other than that, any strong emotional connection is a good enough bond too. Generally, if you're in distress, any vampire who has a bond with you can feel it. If you call for one of them individually, then only that one person will feel it. Pretty much common sense."

"Mhm," Naruto hummed, nodding his head in understanding. "So... how would one get rid of a blood bond?" he asked.

Sasuke shrugged. "Stronger bonds knock out weaker bonds, so just make a stronger bond," he explained. "Emotional bonds won't knock out blood bonds so easily though. It's best to make a stronger blood bond by letting someone you already have a strong connection with taste your blood."

"I see," Naruto said.

"Why are you asking?" Sasuke asked.

"I'm curious," Naruto replied.

"Do you have some blood bonds you need to worry about?"

"I don't know, do I?" Naruto retorted.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Sasuke asked uneasily.

"Since Kankuro doesn't have a blood bond with me, if I get closer to someone else who does, then will he not be able to feel me unless I call for him directly?" Naruto asked, ignoring Sasuke's question.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Yes," he answered.

"How do I know when that's happened?" Naruto asked.

"You won't," Sasuke said. "You just have to know how strong your bonds with the people around you are."

"I feel like my bond with Kankuro is pretty strong," Naruto said.

"I don't disagree," Sasuke replied. "He must feel very responsible for you, or else he wouldn't have come when you called him."

Naruto cocked his head to the side. "How do you know that it ever worked with Kankuro?" he asked.

"You said so," Sasuke answered.

"No, I said Kankuro told me it would work," Naruto replied. He narrowed his eyes with suspicion and nodded at the wall beside the doorway. "Is that your blood?" he asked.

Sasuke tensed up. "No," he said stiffly without even looking.

"Why can you feel me?" Naruto asked. Sasuke's face went blank. "Why can you feel me, Sasuke?" Naruto repeated. "Are we that close and I just don't know about it?"

"That about explains it," a familiar voice interjected.

Naruto wasted no time in being shocked or surprised. He opened his mouth to reprimand Kankuro for his absence, but he stopped abruptly when his eyes shifted to behind Sasuke and landed on the man's face. Kankuro went on easily.

"You and Sasuke have been emotionally bonded for a while. If you hadn't been, he would have sensed me approaching a while ago. He gets so engulfed in you that he forgets what's around him though." Kankuro glanced at the back of Sasuke's head. "He's easy to sneak up on this way. If he isn't careful, someone older and more experienced might be inclined to take advantage of that," he pointed out.

Casually, he sauntered past Sasuke into the room, careful to keep an eye on the other vampire. He strolled up and stopped right before Naruto. Instinctively, Sasuke snarled under his breath. "You see?" Kankuro said. "He's defensive. If I even twitch the wrong way near you, he'll kill me. You're his." Naruto looked between the two vampires questioningly. "That's my blood, Naruto," Kankuro informed, "not Sasuke's." Naruto's eyes widened dramatically. "I'm afraid you've got your suspicions all wrong."

"What?" Naruto asked.

"Step away," Sasuke hissed.

"If it makes you feel better," Kankuro said flatly. He obligingly moved a few paces away from Naruto and turned so that he could face both men at once. Sasuke remained in his spot by the door, but he was obviously poised to attack if need be.

"Sasuke is what happened to my face," Kankuro explained to Naruto. "I got too close to his property, and he mauled me for it."

"Property?" Naruto asked confusedly.

"Yes," Kankuro said. "Didn't you hear me? You're his. I wouldn't be surprised if he monitors nearly every move you make. Us vampires can be obsessive over our possessions."

"I don't possess him," Sasuke snarled. "I just protect him."

"From me?" Kankuro asked. "Was I such a threat?" Sasuke fell silent.

"Wait? So Sasuke was here that night? I'm not completely wrong about that?" Naruto asked.

"He was here," Kankuro reassured.

"And you were here too?" Naruto asked.

Kankuro nodded. "You called me. Just as I said, I will always come when you ask," he replied.

"If you were both here... then... well... someone attacked me," Naruto said, eyeing Sasuke warily.

Sasuke scowled and snorted with offense. "You can't be serious!" he exclaimed.

"Well, you haven't exactly been making any sense to me lately!" Naruto retorted.

"Sasuke saved your life," Kankuro interjected before Sasuke could get any more offended. "He was the one who sucked out the venom. Without him, you might have been changed before I got here, though not killed," he explained.

"So he didn't save my life," Naruto pointed out, "if I wasn't gonna die anyway."

Sasuke scowled.

"Naruto, this isn't a life," Kankuro said. "Being a vampire is something less. So, yes, Sasuke saved your life."

"Whatever," Naruto conceded. "I didn't mean to offend or anything."

"Yes, you did," Sasuke grumbled irritably.

"Aright, fine!" Naruto exclaimed. "I did! I meant to offend you because you offended me!"

"What are you talking about?!" Sasuke asked loudly.

"Kissing me last night and then fucking leaving like that?! What do you think I'm talking about?!" Naruto shouted back, jumping to his feet.

Sasuke felt a huge shift in Kankuro's aura, so he snapped his head to the brunet and hissed. "Keep your trap shut!" he demanded. "It's got nothing to do with you!"

Naruto looked between them confusedly. "What?"

"Nothing!" Sasuke snapped.

"No! What?!" Naruto demanded.

Kankuro opened his mouth to speak, but Sasuke cut him off. "I said, don't!" he snarled.

Kankuro growled at him. "He has a right to the truth," he said.

Sasuke glared daggers at Kankuro in response, silently threatening him with a million painful deaths if he didn't keep his mouth glued shut.

"Why is it that every-fucking-thing that concerns me is always kept a fucking secret from me?!" Naruto exclaimed angrily. "You are the shadiest bunch of assholes I've ever known!"

After a few moments of Sasuke letting Naruto cool down as he continued his attempt at glaring Kankuro into submission, he finally spoke. "Sai attacked you," he said quietly. Naruto looked up at him and slowly raised his brows. "He likes to play games though," Sasuke added, a bit too calmly for Naruto's liking. After all, Sasuke was talking about the guy who had not only attacked Naruto but violated him too. Not to mention all the shit that Sai had done to Sasuke himself, especially that little stunt of kissing Naruto when he was still dating Sasuke. Sasuke's composure didn't wane though, despite who he was referring to. "He would've wanted to keep you as a toy, so he wouldn't have killed you," Sasuke went on. "Maybe he would've even sucked out the venom himself after he was done."

Naruto sat back down on his bed heavily. "This is too much," he said. After a moment of collecting his thoughts, he asked, "So Sai can hear me too? We have a blood bond?" Sasuke nodded. "What if he hears me struggling and thinks it's a good time to come and try to eat me?" Naruto asked worriedly.

"That won't happen," Kankuro assured.

"But how do you know?" Naruto persisted.

"I just do. He won't come unless you call to him directly," Kankuro informed. "That means that you have to say his name with the intent to beckon him. In fact, you have to do that with everyone you have a bond with now. It might even be that way for the rest of your life."

"Why?" Naruto asked. "I thought that you could just hear me when I'm in distress."

"Not anymore. Even just a little while ago when you asked for help, I could only barely feel it. That was only because I was looking out for it though, in case you needed me. I'm sure that little bit of connection that was left is lost by now though. No one bonded to you will hear you anymore, not unless you call to us specifically," Kankuro explained.

"Why did it change?" Naruto asked.

"How many times do I have to say it? Because you're Sasuke's," Kankuro replied. Sasuke scoffed at the words, but Kankuro ignored him. "Your bond with him is overwhelming, Naruto. None of us can compare, it seems."

"But even Sasuke said that you wouldn't know when a bond has been overshadowed," Naruto argued. "He also said that blood bonds were stronger than emotional ones, so even if you couldn't feel me very well when I asked for help, maybe it's different for Sai. He's tasted my blood. Even if you can't feel me, how can you be sure that he won't?"

"Anyone with half a brain can see that your bonds have been overshadowed," Kankuro replied, "whether it be by blood or otherwise. The only person who will be picking up on your stress so easily is Sasuke. Even if we strain to tune into you, it won't work. If last night didn't seal that, then this conversation right now just did."

"Really?" Naruto asked, completely unconvinced. "You think I want to be close to him after this?"

"Doesn't matter," Kankuro replied. "Some part of your subconscious does. Even if it's complicated, Naruto, you two are bound together. Even an intense rivalry can overshadow a friendship. Even if you hated Sasuke to the core, his bond would still outmatch anyone else's. It's just fate, I guess. How do you think he got here before me that night you were attacked, even though you called for me directly? He felt your panic and sprang into action before you could even utter my name. He was so protective of you even then that not even I could come inside your room without being attacked."

Naruto stared at Sasuke in search of some emotional response, anything to tell him what the fuck to do with all of this information. Sasuke was just staring at the floor though. Kankuro sighed as he read the mood in the room.

"I think I should go. You two have a lot to talk about," he decided. "—like why I can smell that nightwalker on you," he added slyly.

Sasuke stiffened like a board. "I told you not to speak of it!" he snapped as he violently slammed Kankuro against the bathroom door.

Kankuro didn't even flinch. He'd intentionally said exactly what Sasuke had warned him not to say, so he was expecting that kind of reaction. "You should've washed him off if you didn't want it out in the open," he began calmly, "instead of coming here with his smell all over your body. That was stupid of you." He easily slipped out of Sasuke's grip. Sasuke didn't attempt to attack again though. He simply stood there looking defeated, palms flat against the door, head bowed, and shoulders slumped. Quietly, Kankuro added, "—and you could stand to cover up that love bite too. It looks a bit promiscuous. Makes you seem unreliable... but then again, I guess you kind of are." He snorted lightly, amused by his quip. "Always have been," he hissed in Sasuke's ear, and then he was gone.

~ (^.^) (^.^) ~

Naruto stared blankly at Sasuke's back. Who was "that nightwalker"? Who did Kankuro smell on Sasuke? How should Naruto feel about this? Why was he so slow to react? Why did he feel like he was watching this from third person? What should he say? What should he do? Should he be angry? He felt that maybe he should. Even if Sasuke didn't really do anything incriminating with "that nightwalker", he'd still left Naruto to go be in that person's company. Why would he do that, especially after kissing Naruto the way he had? Didn't the kiss mean something to Sasuke too? Or was Naruto alone in that sense? Or maybe Sasuke didn't think that it meant anything to Naruto, but wasn't it obvious that it did? Wasn't what Naruto felt for Sasuke the most obvious thing in the world?

No, Sasuke couldn't feign ignorance about that. He couldn't pretend that he wasn't aware, because Naruto knew that he could feel exactly what Naruto felt. Sasuke knew. He had to know. He just had to. Yet, he'd left Naruto to be with someone else. Even if it was an innocent encounter, he'd left. Just like everyone else always left, Sasuke had left. That stance didn't look like the stance of an innocent man either. Just the way that Sasuke was standing alone made him look so guilty.

'Why, Sasuke?' Naruto questioned in his head. 'Why do you have to look so guilty? Stop. Stop standing like that. Please. Stop looking so guilty. It hurts.'

"Say something," Sasuke demanded. It was quiet but powerful. It felt like the blast from a canon to Naruto. Why did such a soft voice—the kind of softness that Sasuke rarely used with Naruto—feel like a crashing clap of thunder?

Sasuke wanted Naruto to say something. Say something. But what could he say? "I hate you"? No. That was a bit too rash too quickly. "Why did you leave me"? No. That was expecting too much of a man who hadn't expressed much more than a mild interest in Naruto. Shit. That was right. All Sasuke felt was just a mild interest, if that. Naruto was the one with overwhelming feelings, not Sasuke. Sasuke by no means at all belonged to Naruto. Naruto had absolutely no claim at all on the man. He had no stake in Sasuke's heart. Sasuke could do whatever he wanted with whomever he wanted, and Naruto didn't even have the right to be angry about it.

Sure, Naruto was positive that he himself would never share a kiss like that with someone and then run off to spend the rest of the night with a whole other person—because, no matter how innocent said night may have been, it just seemed indecent to Naruto. Naruto truly believed in only pursuing those that you truly had feelings for. For him, deciding to like someone was committing. He was committing to care for that person and only that person in the romantic sense. Maybe he was old-fashioned, but a kiss was nothing to scoff at. He would never be able to kiss someone and then treat it in such a fickle manner. Sasuke wasn't Naruto though. He didn't have to abide by Naruto's standards. His morals were probably a lot looser than Naruto's. Hell, Naruto hadn't even had a chance to really get into Sasuke's head yet, so he actually had no idea what he was dealing with here.

"Say something to me," Sasuke repeated a bit more loudly.

No, Naruto really couldn't even justify being angry if he were to get angry. Sasuke was free to do whatever he wanted to do. Naruto couldn't tie him down just because he liked the guy. A kiss was probably petty to Sasuke, even if was life-altering to Naruto. And, yes, that particular kiss had been life-altering to Naruto. He wasn't aware of its gravity right at the moment, but things had drastically changed for him over the night. He'd been confused after Sasuke had left him, so he jumped to a lot of weird, half-baked conclusions about the night when he was attacked and how Sasuke was involved. Kankuro had cleared that whole night up for Naruto though.

In truth, he'd never actually doubted Sasuke. He was just desperate for answers. To him, it seemed easier to accuse Sasuke of something ludicrous and gauge his reaction to get those answers. In truth, after seeing such a soft side of Sasuke lately, it was really hard for Naruto to imagine that there was any darkness in that heart at all. In the end, though, that kiss had been a huge thing to Naruto because that was when he knew that he was in deep. He was in so deep. Realizing just how deep he had fallen, he became a bit confused, a bit intimidated, and a bit scared. Looking for answers in the night he was attacked was just his need for some concrete knowledge. After all, whatever was between him and Sasuke didn't feel concrete at all, not since Sasuke decided to kiss and leave. So, here Naruto was, all shook up and hungry for something solid.

He'd never been in this deep with anyone before in his life. He'd never felt so closely tied to anyone other than his father or Jiraiya. This thing with Sasuke was a whole new dynamic for Naruto though. Even if things had started out rough, Sasuke was a whole different kind of relationship that Naruto had never known before, the kind of relationship that Naruto now knew he would cherish. Well, he would've cherished it. Hm, maybe he still could. Really, he didn't know because he had no idea how Sasuke felt. For fuck's sake, Sasuke had left to be with someone else! What did that mean? What did that say about Sasuke? What did that say about what Naruto meant to Sasuke? Just... what?

Yes, Sasuke was completely unlike anyone else. The magnitude of Naruto's connection to him was intense. It was possible that Sasuke was just as confused as Naruto too. It was possible that Sasuke hadn't known what to do with his feelings, so his first instinct was to run. Should Naruto have chased? He wasn't sure at all. Sasuke didn't seem like the type who liked to be chased. He was definitely one to cherish his space and solitude... but now Naruto was even more confused. Sasuke was sometimes one way and then sometimes another. Just as Kankuro had said, even if it was sometimes a hateful relationship, Sasuke and Naruto were bound together by some strong thread of fate. Naruto could feel that. He felt it so strongly. So, he felt like the confusion of their relationship was suddenly so tiny now, because all he could think about was how predetermined this all really was. In the end, it felt like he would have no choice but to fall in love with the bastard.

"Naruto!" Sasuke exclaimed softly, looking over his shoulder at the man. Naruto was staring right through him, completely spaced out. "Say something!" Sasuke demanded again, much more desperately than he would ever have liked to admit. He just needed a reaction though.

Love. Shit. Love. That was the worst fucking part. Naruto felt... love. Love. It was still just in the beginning stages, but it would definitely be getting there soon enough. Of that, Naruto was positive. Isn't it funny how such a tiny bud of an emotion can be planted in one's heart and that bud can somehow manage to blossom fully, even after being trampled all over as it's sprouting? If Naruto chose to distance himself from Sasuke after this, he knew that he would still feel those emotions growing inside of him anyway. He could feel himself loving Sasuke more intensely every second that passed by, even now. Though plagued by anger, hatred, betrayal, and misery, that bud refused to give up. It was blossoming, but it was kind of painful... too painful. It was too painful to care for Sasuke. Naruto was now feeling a mixture of too many conflicting things. In the end, it was being overwhelmed that pushed his tears to spill down his cheeks.

"I don't even know why I'm crying," he said quietly, more to himself than to Sasuke, as he was still looking right through Sasuke. He was just so overwhelmed though. His brain was taking him on a roller coaster ride. His heart was constricting with so any different emotions. He couldn't even manage himself, let alone Sasuke as well.

"I don't know what to say," Sasuke admitted quietly, more to himself than to Naruto, for Sasuke could feel Naruto's absence. He could tell that those eyes weren't on him. Naruto was completely absent right now, completely unfazed by Sasuke's presence. Sasuke had disappeared from Naruto's world for the time being. Was he even worthy of being gazed upon by that man? Should he just stay invisible?

Just barely hearing Sasuke's voice cut through the haze that was his brain, Naruto managed to travel back to reality. "Just tell me why," he said quietly.

Sasuke turned around to completely face Naruto slowly. He glanced into those blue eyes and was forced to look away. Whatever was swirling within them was inexplicable. It was a cacophony of multiple things, things that Sasuke didn't really want to see swirling in Naruto's gaze. He didn't feel fit to stare back, to accept the beauty of those eyes, of that man. Naruto could see that on Sasuke's face though. He didn't need to be a vampire to feel the shame radiating from Sasuke. That only served to hurt and confuse him more. Why did Sasuke have to keep looking so fucking guilty?

Sasuke sighed heavily. How could he word his response without completely losing whatever he'd managed to ignite between Naruto and himself already? Truthfully, being close to Naruto was dangerous. He'd almost murdered the guy on the spot last night three times. Once out of dismay for someone else having kissed him; once out of anger for someone else having touched and threatened him; and once out of his own sexual desire. Most of the time that Naruto's life was in danger was because of a ripple effect from what someone else made Sasuke feel too. Naruto just happened to be in the line of fire. That was life with a vampire. You didn't have to do anything wrong yourself to be in danger. Just crossing one at a bad time was enough.

Despite the constant danger though, Sasuke subconsciously kept edging closer to Naruto inch by inch. Even though he'd always known this type of relationship wouldn't work out, he kept doing things and saying things that pushed the two toward that kiss. He'd wanted it—not even just the kiss, but what could have bloomed from it. He had wanted the prospect of a relationship with Naruto, even if he couldn't admit it consciously. No, even if he was too afraid to admit it consciously. Subconsciously, he'd pushed toward it, and Naruto had followed along too. Now, he'd ruined that. And what was the reason? Why had Sasuke gone to Sai? He knew the answer in his heart, but why couldn't he just tell Naruto the whole truth? Why was that so difficult?

"I was suffering," Sasuke said simply.

"Suffering," Naruto repeated vacantly.

"I was uncertain," Sasuke added.

"Uncertain," Naruto repeated absently.

"I was seeking consolation, and I don't know anyone that I can really rely on," Sasuke finished quietly. "He was the only option, the only choice for me."

Naruto snapped out of his stupor. It was probably the confirmation that Sasuke had been with another man that did it for Naruto. It wasn't like Sasuke had made any solid indication that he was gay, and there was that time that Naruto had walked in on Sasuke with a girl. It was just that Naruto felt so strongly connected to Sasuke on so many different levels that he couldn't help but be arrogant enough to think that Sasuke really wanted him, and not just for his body either. If that was the case, then Naruto naturally felt intimidated by other men, especially men that earned the company of Sasuke late at night, especially men that Sasuke felt were the only people he could turn to at a vulnerable time. It wouldn't have been any better if it was a woman, but hearing that it was a man just really ticked Naruto off. What ticked him off even more, though, was that Sasuke had gone to this man for fucking consolation.

"What?" he asked with the most emotion he'd shown since Kankuro left. "You went to a nightwalker for comfort?" he asked.

"Yes, but—"

"I'm confused," Naruto interrupted. "Of all people to go to, you chose someone with that kinda lifestyle, someone who probably tried to convince you that the answer was to go out and murder innocent human beings. How could someone from that part of your past comfort you?" Naruto asked hotly. "Unless it's not quite your past yet," he added accusingly.

"No!" Sasuke exclaimed quickly. "It is! I'm not hunting with them. I haven't been," he assured. "I won't ever again. It is my past. I just... I didn't know anyone else to turn to in that state."

Naruto snorted derisively. "Gimme a break," he said, rolling his eyes. "Were you so pained? You were the one who left me standing in the street after that kiss all alone. Yet, you want me to buy into your sob story about being the poor victim of despair?"

"It wasn't a one-sided kiss, Naruto!" Sasuke argued angrily, balling his fists at his side. "I... I was emotionally invested too! I wanted it. That's why I initiated it... but... I... I couldn't..." He swallowed hard. "I couldn't contain myself. I almost..." He trailed off and averted his eyes.

"Almost what?" Naruto asked impatiently.

"—killed you," Sasuke supplied in a whisper. The shame was back tenfold.

"That's why you ran away?" Naruto asked.

"Yes," Sasuke answered quietly, looking resolutely down at the ground.

"And that's what you sought comfort for?" Naruto asked.

"Yes," Sasuke confirmed, sounding something near regretful of his actions.

Naruto tsked loudly. "Bullshit," he said flatly. Nope. He wasn't buying such a shitty excuse.

Sasuke snapped his head up. "What?"

Naruto stood from his bed. "I said, bullshit," he repeated daringly, narrowing his eyes in a challenge. "You've battled thirst before Sasuke. You've been a vampire your entire life. One little kiss from me and you're suddenly driven mad with the need for consolation? I'm not buying it. You wouldn't give up your pride and seek comfort so easily, especially not from one of them. Do you have any idea how stupid this sounds? You, Sasuke Uchiha, got so upset over how tempting a kiss was that you sought out a nightwalker from your past and asked him to comfort you." Naruto raised a brow as if to ask 'get it yet'.

"You're not understanding me, Naruto," Sasuke said exasperatedly.

"You're right, I'm not," Naruto agreed. "You're story is bullshit. I don't get that at all."

That was it. "Naruto!" Sasuke shouted suddenly, appearing a mere inch in front of the blond in a flash. "It was traumatizing!" he exclaimed, practically foaming at the mouth. "I thought I was going to kill you! You, Naruto, the one person I could never stand to fucking hurt!" He paused and panted heavily as he put some much needed space between them again. "I wasn't having a fucking pity party," he went on. "I was fucking terrified of myself, you idiot. I was terrified of the people I would murder. I was terrified of the mem—"

He broke off abruptly, and his eyes took on a wild quality that really freaked Naruto out. He flashed to the other side of the room and leaned heavily against the wall in the corner with his back to Naruto, holding his aching head in one hand and fighting the urge to scream.

"Terrified of the what, Sasuke?" Naruto asked, trying not to sound so judgmental anymore. Sasuke was really opening up here, and it didn't look easy.

"I needed to release some tension!" Sasuke said loudly.

"Okay," Naruto responded softly. "I can believe that."

"I couldn't do it with anyone else!" Sasuke added even louder.

"Alright," Naruto replied, moving forward slowly—so as not to startle Sasuke, for it seemed like he was in a very rare, very fragile state right now. "I can understand that. So... a nightwalker was the only person you could trust to handle you. Okay."

"I needed it!" Sasuke insisted, sounding more like he was trying to convince himself rather than Naruto.

"I believe you," Naruto assured softly. "I just don't understand why last night was so different from any other night. Don't you always feel thirsty?"

"Naruto," Sasuke growled. "You're different! Don't you get it?! You're different!"

Naruto stopped just behind Sasuke. "Okay," he whispered, trying to sound as soothing as possible.

"I... I would've gone mad!" Sasuke shouted suddenly, startling Naruto again. "I would've... again... I would've..." He trailed off momentarily. "I would have, Naruto! I would have!"

"Sasuke, okay," Naruto said worriedly. "You're freaking me out though, so just calm down. I'm only trying to understand what happened." Naruto leaned a little closer to Sasuke. "—to understand you," he added softly.

"You can't!" Sasuke screamed, startling Naruto so badly that he stumbled backward.

"Sasuke," Naruto said worriedly, grabbing the man's shoulder. Sasuke shrugged it off and disappeared to the other side of the room though, despite how badly he wanted to be close to Naruto at the moment.

"Don't touch me!" he shouted at Naruto, his eyes absolutely wild. "Why don't you get it yet?!"

Naruto began to panic. He'd never seen this side to Sasuke yet. "Sasuke," he began again, his voice beginning to tremble, "please just calm down and talk to me more easily."

Sasuke was panting heavily by this point.

~xXxXxXx~

"Sasuke, you have to calm down. Please," Ren says quietly, reaching out and grabbing her brother's hand. "We have to go help."

"Ren, I can't. We have to go home," Sasuke grinds out, squeezing her hand and attempting to pull her along.

"Please, Sasuke. Please," Ren says, tugging back. "Please."

~xXxXxXx~

Sasuke started shaking his head, trying to shake out the invading thoughts. He hadn't had these thoughts in a long, long time.

"Sasuke," Naruto said again softly, almost as if it were the start of a lullaby.

~xXxXxXx~

"Sasuke," Ren says in that soft, innocent voice of hers. "Please," she insists, tugging on his hand again.
"You can do it. Calm down. You can. I know you can. We have to help. We have to."

"Ren! I can't!" Sasuke shouts, digging the palm of his free hand into one of his eyes in his frustration.

"Please," Ren begs, her big eyes filling with tears. "Sasuke, please!"

~xXxXxXx~

Sasuke shook his head more violently. "You sound just like her, just like how she used to..." He trailed off, shaking his head even more vigorously.

"Who?" Naruto asked.

"No. Stop," Sasuke said, crouching down and holding his head once more.

Naruto was getting really worried. "Ren?" he asked softly, wanting to approach the name gently because he knew what kind of effect it could have on Sasuke.

"Stop!" Sasuke yelled.

Naruto startled again, but tears began welling up in his eyes this time. "I'm getting really scared, Sasuke," he admitted.

~xXxXxXx~

"Sasuke," Ren whispers, fear in her eyes. "I'm scared."

~xXxXxXx~

"STOP!" Sasuke repeated angrily, though he wasn't sure exactly who he was yelling at anymore. It must have just been everyone, he figured. The whole world. Just stop.

His head was still bent down and his body was still hunched over, but even in that vulnerable position he gave off a dangerous aura. Naruto was getting a sickening feeling in his stomach. He figured that it must have been his gut instinct telling him to avoid this dangerous creature. Sasuke's intent to kill must have been rising, and it was terrifying to Naruto. It was far scarier than any image of red eyes and sharp fangs. Sasuke looked like a rabid animal at this point, like there would be no warning as to when he would snap. This had turned into a very serious situation, Naruto could tell. What could he do though?

"I'm really scared, Sasuke," Naruto repeated, hoping to appeal to Sasuke's humanity. After all, Sasuke wouldn't hurt Naruto if he could help it.

~xXxXxXx~

"I'm scared, Sasuke," Ren whispers, her voice trembling furiously. "I'm so scared."

~xXxXxXx~

"S-S-Stop," Sasuke pleaded in a broken voice so pained that not even a terrified Naruto could stand to ignore it. The need to embrace and to comfort was too great, so Naruto began to cross the small room. Even if it got him killed, he couldn't stand that kind of pain in Sasuke's voice. He just couldn't.

"S-Stop!" Sasuke repeated in that same broken tone. Naruto continued his advance anyway.

"Please!" Sasuke exclaimed desperately.

"Stop, Naruto!" he commanded, raising his head and locking eyes with Naruto. Fear was what stopped Naruto in his tracks.

Naruto wanted to push through, to continue on to Sasuke, to show Sasuke that he would do whatever it took to be there for him. When those wild eyes met his, though, he was paralyzed. Sasuke's behavior was scary, but those eyes were truly terrifying. They didn't seem to echo Sasuke at all. Naruto had to wonder where the part of Sasuke that was telling him to stay back was, because all that Naruto could see in those eyes was an animal ready to pounce. Even as it called out to him and begged for him to stay away, Naruto couldn't see even a sliver of Sasuke's humanity. And that was terrifying. Sasuke appeared so feral before him. Whatever humanity that actually was left within him must have been tiny, almost nonexistent. At any moment, Sasuke could close the distance left between them in a flash and have Naruto any way that he wanted him.

"I-I-I don't know what to do, Sasuke," Naruto whispered. Sasuke stood abruptly and composed himself quickly, glaring down at a fearful Naruto. "T-Tell me what to do, Sasuke," Naruto pleaded.

Sasuke tensed as if he was going to advance on Naruto. Instead, he turned his back on the blond. When he glanced over his shoulder at Naruto, his eyes were dead. Just as they'd always used to be. "Leave me alone," he said flatly.

"What?" Naruto asked, dumbfounded. "After everything, you want me to leave you alone?"

Sasuke turned forward again and stared out of the doorway into the rest of Naruto's apartment. "If you value your life," he supplied.

"Not more than I value—" Before Naruto could even complete that thought, though, Sasuke was gone. "—you," Naruto finished quietly to himself, gazing solemnly at the spot where Sasuke had just been. He sighed heavily. What the fuck just happened?

To be continued...