If you read (or were included in) that last bit, thanks for caring about what I have to say. If you didn't, I don't blame you, because you're reading the fourth confession, so I can't really hold anything against you. In Japan, 4 is an unlucky number because the word for it sounds similar to the word for death, and I am now ill with a cold and have more homework than time. But it isn't really me you want to hear about, is it? ;) Enjoy!
'Aijima! Hurry up, we'll be late!'
Camus shook his head, sighing in irritation, and his breath blew his dark blonde hair about. Jeez, that kid was so slow all the time. He'd given up on banging on his door a while ago, now the only other option was to break it down if his pupil didn't get out of the dorm.
Cecil was probably still packing his things, knowing him he was doing long 'dances of worship' before putting each pair of pants in his suitcase. He had known that they had to hurry today, STARISH were flying out to a concert in Europe, their first ever. But no, he wasn't going to rush. Not for Camus, or anyone. The senior massaged his temples, holding back the urge to claw at his watch as it ticked past their expected departure time.
Their fame had quickly spread across the world, after their second single, Maji Love 2000%, had gone viral online, with thousands of screaming comments from fangirls of every nationality. ('I don't know what it means, but it's so sexy!')
Even though the other seniors were worried about their pupils getting swollen heads, Camus knew that that was the one thing he didn't have to be on the lookout for. Cecil had already gotten rid of his self-centred nature a short while after he'd been introduced to STARISH, (although Camus had a theory that the teasing wasn't the only reason for that) and he was quite used to the media and how to deal with them, being a prince. He was sensible and refined...
'I'm go-ing to Eur-ope to-daaaaaaaaay!'
In front of the cameras at least.
'Aijima! What time do you call this?' Camus snapped, holding up a hand to keep Cecil from answering. 'We're going to be late, do you realise that? You are not the professional I hoped you'd be, Aijima.'
Shaking his head and sighing, he shepherded his dazed pupil down the stairs and into the waiting bus, where the other members of STARISH and Quartet Night were already deep in conversation, asleep, listening to music, or (in Masato's case) doing sudoku.
Cecil couldn't understand it. Why was his senpai so tense all the time when there was so much to be happy about? So much to be grateful for. He sat in his seat by the window and stared out at the early morning sunrise.
He'd always loved nature and the outdoors, because there were no confusing rules there that one had to follow, and no one could shout at you or say you were doing something wrong by being there, whereas inside was where the complex web of society and manners mattered.
Suddenly a tiny flicker of movement disturbed his thoughts. Cecil blinked and tried to see past his own reflection in the window, peering into the greyish surroundings. They were driving along a road, just a normal motorway, with sparse greenery on banks either side of it in a futile attempt to look natural. There was no movement but for the cars beside them.
He sighed and began to settle back into his mind, when the movement caught his eye again. A flash of something bright. But it can't have been outside...There it was again! Cecil almost kicked himself for not realising beforehand. It was in the bus' reflection, of course! He had noticed it properly now. The shine was an eye, blinking back at him, but it wasn't his own.
Cecil would have known that eye anywhere. Large, golden-yellow, almost green on the outside, and darkening to orange around the pupil. He gazed helplessly at the reflection of the girl sitting in front of him, staring out of the window just as he had been.
Nanami Haruka. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever met. She was the only one as full of emotion as he was. She had broken his curse with her music and her compassion. Being her cat had been wonderful. Being her friend was even better. And yet...
He watched her thinking, silently praising her every breath, until he had a small brainwave. Tap tap tap! Cecil made sure the sound was only just loud enough for her to hear, but not noticeable to any of the other passengers. Tap tap tap!
This time Haruka noticed him, and smiled in recognition. She waved, and then let out a yawn. He laughed softly, returning the wave, and then mouthed the words,
'Is it too early for you?'
She screwed up her face in misunderstanding.
'What?' she mouthed back.
'Is...it...too...early?' He went through each word as slowly and clearly as he could, but the girl in the window still didn't understand.
Cecil bit his lip and wondered what he could do. He sifted through his backpack, beside him on the seat, and eventually found something useful: a notepad and pen. His basic Japanese characters weren't very good, and his kanji were shaky at best, but he managed to scrawl out on the top line of the next blank page in the pad,
Is it too early for you? You look tired.
He passed the paper through the small gap between Haruka's seat and the window, and waited while she read and (hopefully) answered it. She'd understand the game. Haruka was the only one who had really understood Cecil from the start, the other members of STARISH had taken alot of convincing before accepting him. He treasured their friendship above many things, but Haruka...
I stayed up way too late... Sorry, I know I look terrible this morning.
Cecil frowned and looked back at the reflection again. She hid her face in her hands, with only her eyes peeping out, comically worried about her appearance now.
He didn't know what she was talking about. Haruka was perfect. She looked a little sleep-tousled, but then so did everyone on early journeys. No one had been expected to dress up for this; it was just a necessary thing to have to get up early.
I was talking about your yawn, Haruka, he wrote back, There's nothing wrong with how you look.
This time the reply came back very quickly. Cecil took the notepad from her delicate hand, feeling very aware of the body-heat from her fingers.
Yes there is! You're very kind, Cecil-san, but I can see for myself that I'm a mess today! I'm never pretty, but today's particularly bad.
How could she write this? It was all complete nonsense, as if she'd decided to put his thoughts in complete disregard. Hadn't he ever told her she was beautiful? Hadn't he said that she was his love? Never pretty... As if that were true! He felt irritated, but wasn't sure if he should be annoyed with himself or her. The only option was to try and express that in the Japanese script that he did know how to write...
I hope you don't think that. You are absolutely flawless whenever I see you, so please don't insult yourself.
Cecil could see her reading his message, and judging by her expression, either he'd said something incredibly rude, or she felt heartbroken after reading that, for whatever reason. She may have understood him better than anyone else, but when it came to Haruka, he was never quite sure what to make of her answers. So he usually just acted on impulse.
The sun outside the bus came out from behind a cloud, and pale, clear morning light spilled over Haruka's features, making her reflection harder to see. Cecil had to move forward to make it out clearly. There was no one watching him, everyone else was asleep by now. The only voices he could vaguely hear above the engine were Ranmaru and Reiji, arguing playfully over something.
Haruka's reflection was now almost right next to his own. The golden eyes and the deep green eyes, the pale and dark skin tones, the straight orange locks, so easily ruffled in the wind, and the muddy-brown hair atop Cecil's own head.
They sat, side by side in the window, and Cecil could imagine the real Nanami being that close. She had been near to him before, but this was different. It was that same feeling he got when he thought about being her friend. He wanted to be closer than anyone else, and his own selfishness scared him a little.
How could anyone need someone else so much? He could feel himself sinking into his own emotions, drinking them in and lusting after more memories and music that she could give him.
Finally, Haruka's hand reached back through the gap, and passed him the pad and the biro.
Thank you, Cecil-san. But I still don't believe you.
Cecil nearly gasped at what he saw below those few words. It was a list. A whole list of things, parts, that Haruka thought weren't good about her body. It was actually quite detailed, a couple of parts of it were more personal than he'd expected from her, but he read on. If she'd wanted him to see this, then he had to.
Lips, neck, arms, thighs, feet, knees, eyes, cheeks, shoulders, stomach, waist, ears.
In his mind, Cecil was trying not to picture too closely each part that he knew about, and struggling not to imagine what the unknown parts could look like. He couldn't picture a more perfect Haruka than the one he knew. There was only one, and he couldn't understand how she didn't see that she was who he would devote his life to.
She was who he'd devote his life to. There was no better way of putting it. He'd tried, 'You're my goddess,' and he'd had a go at, 'Thank you, my princess, for rescuing me.' Cecil didn't even want to think about what had happened when he'd said, 'I love you, Haruka.' Of course, he'd say it all again, and gladly, but it hadn't been right.
When he eventually pushed his reply through the gap, and her hand pulled at the paper, Cecil suddenly grasped it. He had seen her gasp, and she looked straight at him in the reflection, very confused and even a little afraid.
He closed her hand around the pieces of paper, and, holding her gaze, pressed his lips to it, as though she were a lady from a far off country he had met at an Agnapolis ball. They stayed that way for a while, and it felt still, like a stopped clock or an empty glass.
As she unfurled the song, her eyes widened. Cecil saw her lips form the words,
'My song!' even though she said nothing aloud. He watched her eyes flick through the lyrics, nodding her head almost imperceptibly to the imaginary beat, and smiled. She'd understand now. Not him, but herself. He wanted her to understand herself.
You believe you cannot be what you truly are,
Feel the world move, the world move,
You believe you can't just talk to anyone that asks,
Feel the earth move, sing when we move.
Each and every part I see breaks the sky in pieces, to me
You are a skyline that'll never grow old.
Counterparts and melodies, each a lasting memory,
Yours is a story being told.
In you I see a starlit sun,
Feel us move, the earth will move,
You think your future's impossible to win,
Feel the earth move, sing when we move.
Each and every part I see breaks the sky in pieces, to me
You are a skyline that'll never grow old.
Counterparts and melodies, each a lasting memory,
Yours is a story being told.
And all the dances you will dance with me make the world seem distantly
Waiting for a time when we never shall part,
So let me show you, melody, every future memory,
Your beauty in the beauty of your heart.
You cannot choose but love yourself,
Feel your life move, let the sky move,
Every day is danced for someone else,
I feel our lives move, sing when we move.
Each and every part I see breaks the sky in pieces, to me
You are a skyline that'll never grow old.
Counterparts and melodies, each a lasting memory,
Yours is a story being told.
And all the dances you will dance with me make the world seem distantly
Waiting for a time when we never shall part,
So let me show you, melody, every future memory,
Your beauty in the beauty of your heart.
She looked up from the paper, tears streaming silently down her face. Cecil could only smile and offer his hand, ready to take hers in his own through the tiny, awkward gap.
But she didn't let him. Instead of giving Cecil her hand, Haruka kissed it, just like he had done, as the aristocracy would do. It was so unexpected that he laughed out loud. She began to smile into the kiss, and somehow to Cecil it seemed that this made her cry still more.
'You know what you said about the earth moving? The refrain, in each verse?' she asked softly. He was leant in so close to her chair that he could hear her whispers fairly clearly. 'When you first sang to me, that's how it felt. Like... like a turning point. A change.'
He nodded.
'That's what I wanted you to see. You changed me, Haruka.' Cecil smiled wryly at the window. 'I know I've said it before, but if I didn't mean it then, or understand it, I do now. I love you.'
'Cecil-san...?' The tears had started again, and the words came between very quiet sobs this time. 'I...I love you...too...'
Cecil's heart was beating at a thousand miles an hour. This love he'd suddenly found, on a tour-bus to the airport, at 8am on a Tuesday morning, was so much better than whatever his feelings had been.
His rude, untimely devotion was gone.
What remained in his heart was her.
That one felt harder to write than the others, I hope it doesn't read that way. The situation was...weird, to say the least, but I started it with Camus, and pictured something happening on the bus. I didn't realise the whole story was going to be on the bus, though. :/ Anyway, please tell me what you thought, who you want to see next and if you read this and hated it, let me know why so I can try and improve it. Once again, thank you for reading!