Warnings:
—Blood & self-harm.
—Drug abuse.
—MURDER D:

Moving Memories
16: Severance

~ (^.^) (^.^) ~

Naruto sighed lightly, tapping idly on the wood of the bartop as he awaited Itachi's return. He knew that Itachi had been going to see Sasuke every morning for the past couple of weeks. He wanted to intercept Itachi and beg to be taken along, but he never did. No, he couldn't. He couldn't work up the nerve. What he was afraid of, he wasn't entirely sure. Perhaps it was just the prospect of Itachi saying no. If he got his hopes up again just to be torn down, he wasn't sure how he'd handle that. Perhaps it was Sasuke though. Perhaps Naruto was afraid of what Sasuke had become.

He couldn't even hope to understand what was happening with Sasuke, as he hadn't earned the luxury of understanding. He hadn't earned Sasuke's trust or his love, two things that he needed in order to be let into his closely guarded life and, in return, heart. Naruto wasn't allowed knowledge though. He was constantly left in the dark. Whatever Sasuke was going through was something that Naruto could not yet understand.

He could understand those eyes though. He could understand the look that Sasuke got when he was going feral. He could understand the moments when his life was in danger. Sure, he tried to deny it right to Itachi's face, but he understood. He couldn't lie to himself. He'd felt the fear and apprehension when Sasuke tried to bring him closer. His deepest instincts were telling him to get away, that he was getting closer and closer to not a man... but a monster.

He hated that word with all of his might. Monster. It was a sick and degrading term. Yet, he had to use it. There was no sugar-coating this situation. Sasuke had tried to kill him. He'd cleverly used Naruto's own feelings against him in order to pull him in. Itachi was right. Naruto was just prey. He couldn't keep avoiding these terms. Monster. Prey. He had to face it, to embrace it, and to understand that it only covered half of what Sasuke truly was. If he couldn't do that, then he couldn't have any sort of future with the man. He couldn't very well live beside Sasuke if he refused to face the fact that he could very possibly become Sasuke's dinner if he wasn't careful. He couldn't afford to be careless, not if he wanted to be back at Sasuke's side.

He didn't understand much, but he understood that Sasuke had a bitter past. There was something that terrorized him every day of his life, something that Naruto had some kind of connection to. Ren. Naruto was like Ren. He gleaned that much. But who was Ren? What was she? What was she to Sasuke? How was Naruto like her? What had happened with her? Why did her name make Sasuke so scared and so quick to clamp up? And why did she influence Naruto and Sasuke's relationship too?

If Naruto had been a stronger man, or perhaps just stupider, he would've begged Itachi to take him along to Sasuke's days ago. He couldn't though because, yes, he was afraid. He was afraid of Sasuke. All the courage he could muster up only afforded him the leisure of walking to Akatsake and simply waiting for Itachi to return this morning. Then, he could just ask about Sasuke. That would be enough. He just needed to know that Sasuke was okay, that he was getting better. He needed to hear that he would soon be able to be beside him again, that he would be able to get closer to the man. He needed to be able to earn the right to some answers. Or maybe answers didn't matter as much as just being near Sasuke again.

Lost in thought, Naruto didn't even hear Itachi enter. The man strolled up to the bar and vaulted over it silently. Naruto continued to stare at his fingers as they nervously drummed on the bartop. Itachi simply watched in silence for a few long moments before setting about his morning duties. Itachi's movement caught Naruto's eye. Surprisingly, he didn't startle though. He was somewhat over the sudden appearances of his vampire friends by this point. There was something more important on his mind too. He had no time for shock and awe.

"How is Sasuke?" he asked eagerly and, yet, so hesitantly.

Itachi sighed and glanced up from his work of wiping off the last remnants of water from a group of nearly dry glasses. "You're not supposed to be wandering around alone," he said evenly.

"I'm not," Naruto ensured. "Deidara is around here somewhere."

"Yes, and he's been around here ever since I left. Meaning he wasn't with you when you came over," Itachi retorted.

"How do you know that?" Naruto asked meekly.

"I know where he is and who he's with at all times," Itachi answered.

"That's a little over-protective, don't you think?" Naruto commented.

"It's like that with all vampire couples," Itachi replied. "If you were a vampire, it'd be like that with Sasuke too." Naruto bushed lightly at the implication that he and Sasuke were a couple. Itachi ignored it though. "Because of my bond to Dei, I can sense him at all times without thinking about it. Therefore, I know exactly where he is and what he's doing naturally. Therefore, you wandered over here all alone, didn't you?"

Naruto flushed at having been caught in a lie and downcast his eyes. "I was just worried," he mumbled.

"Yes, I know," Itachi said. "You've been worried enough for every vampire in the city to notice, but you can be worried and have an escort at the same time, Naruto." He spared a reprimanding glance up from his work. "Sasuke won't forgive me if you end up dead."

"Fine," Naruto said. "I'll be more responsible. So how is he?"

Naruto was awarded nothing but a long pause. He was just about to speak again when Itachi finally answered. "He's alive."

Naruto sighed a sigh of annoyance. "Itachi," he said firmly, "that's not enough for me. What's going on?" Itachi glanced up at Naruto momentarily before returning to his task. After a few long moments, Naruto decided that he was being ignored. "Fucking tell me!" he demanded.

Itachi set the glass he was working on back down and planted his hands firmly on the bar, his hard gaze fixed on Naruto's equally unwavering stare. They simply stared at each other intensely for a few moments. "He's alive," Itachi finally repeated before returning to his work again.

Naruto scowled at the man. "I don't understand why I'm always the one left in the dark!" he snapped. "You do realize that I'm the one who cares about Sasuke the most, right?"

Itachi snorted. "Is that so?"

"Yeah!" Naruto assured loudly.

"Hmm," Itachi hummed. "You're probably right because you've known each other for so long," he said mockingly.

Naruto huffed. "So what? Doesn't mean I don't care about him," he retorted.

"Never said you didn't," Itachi said easily.

"You know what?" Naruto began angrily. "I can't get any closer if you all keep pushing me the fuck out!" he hollered, slamming his fists down on the bar. "Just fucking tell me how he's doing!"

Itachi held Naruto's furious gaze for a few seconds before saying simply, "He's alive."

"Just tell him," Deidara said from behind Naruto before the latter could get any angrier. He strolled up and placed a hand on Naruto's back, a gesture of solidarity. "He's worried, Ita. Is that so bad?"

Naruto knew that, after one glance at Deidara, Itachi was done for. He sighed in defeat. "He goes to the underground market a lot, so I've heard, but he still hasn't stocked his apartment," he began, "so I don't know what he's going there for. Now that he's strong enough to deny, he won't accept my blood. He only ever took just enough from me to get stable again. The fact that he doesn't look any weaker tells me that he's not starving himself anymore. The fact that he doesn't look any stronger either after two weeks tells me that he's feeding only on vampires. Our blood isn't nourishing in any respect. It can keep us going, but it doesn't help or hinder us. In short, he's just surviving."

Naruto thought the information over quietly for a moment. "So he needs blood?" he eventually asked.

"There's nothing you can do, Naruto," Itachi quickly assured, "so just let him work this out however he wants." Naruto didn't seem moved by the words, so Itachi went on, "He doesn't want help." And, because Naruto still didn't seem fazed, he added, perhaps a bit more harshly than necessary, "—especially not yours."

"I know," Naruto said in a suspiciously calm manner. "I'm just curious. That's his issue, right? Blood."

Itachi glared but hesitantly answered, "More or less."

Naruto grinned. "That wasn't so hard, was it?"

Itachi eyed him warily. "Why are you so happy?" he asked.

Naruto snorted with laughter. "Because, Itachi, I love your brother," he said cheerfully. It took a second for him to realize what he'd said, but he blushed crimson when he did. "I-I mean," he began stammering. "I-I just... u-uh..."

Itachi simply smirked at him. Even Deidara couldn't hide his grin.

"Don't be embarrassed," Deidara urged. "It's cute."

Naruto's eyes widened and he stammered more unintelligible things before simply turning and walking briskly away. "S-Someone escort me home!" he demanded loudly, his face the brightest red it'd ever been. A chuckling Deidara hurried after him, eager to tease.

~ (^.^) (^.^) ~

Naruto went over his provisions mentally for the millionth time. Three syringes full of anti-venom in his backpack. Two full bars of specially laced chocolate in his pants pocket. It was a good thing that Kankuro was thoughtful enough to give him these things. They would finally prove useful. Although, they would've been especially useful the night that he'd gotten attacked, but he was in no position to utilize them at all at the time. Plus, Sasuke was there to save his ass. In any case, he hoped that they would do their job now. Actually, he hoped that they wouldn't be necessary at all.

He glanced nervously at his surroundings. He was already in sketchy territory. In fact, he had been for about two blocks now. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary though. He didn't have that feeling of being watched from all angles this time. He reassured himself that he'd be fine. He remembered a time when Kankuro assured him that no one would touch him simply because he was Sasuke's. That wasn't true at all at the time but it was almost definitely true now, so he should be protected by that status... right?

Although, Kankuro did also say that it would only take one brave vampire to toss all caution to the wind and take a stab at one of the Uchiha family's soft spots. People would want to hurt him just because he was claimed by Sasuke too... but that was where Sai came in. He'd also claimed Naruto. As far as this city's vampires were concerned, two very intolerant vampires had a stake on Naruto. He would be fine. No one would attack him... right?

He glanced around himself nervously again, but the coast was still clear. He was approaching the spot where he'd last been attacked by a vampire. This time, though, he wanted someone to approach him. As insane as that sounded, he needed a guide. Thankfully, or maybe unfortunately, one was revealed.

"Back again?" a voice called out to him from the shadows, not daring to actually approach. Everyone had gotten Sai's memo loud and clear. Add that to the rumor that he was also Sasuke's pet and everyone was convinced to stay a fair distance away.

Naruto tensed. "Don't come close," he warned.

The man didn't step out from the shadows, but Naruto could feel the leer on him anyway.

"What're you wandering around here for? Have you not learned your lesson?" the man asked patronizingly.

"Just tell me where the entrance to the market is," Naruto demanded firmly, trying to sound courageous and unmoved, even if he really felt like neither of those things.

The faceless man snorted. "Why the hell would you wanna go down there?" he asked.

"Just tell me," Naruto replied.

There was a long pause and Naruto felt his uneasiness rise as he felt more and more eyes resting upon his form. He would be fine... right? Suddenly, a small silhouette formed from the shadows. Naruto tensed, ready to slip his hand into his bag at any moment. He was frozen solid when a child began to approach him though.

"She'll show you the way," the man said flatly.

The little girl walked up and grabbed Naruto's hand. She smiled kindly up at him and started pulling him along. He followed her in astonishment. He knew that they must exist, but... well... he guessed he'd never really thought about it. A vampire child. This little girl couldn't have been any older than six. She hummed pleasantly as she led him around a corner into an alley. His eyes were transfixed on her golden hair loosely flowing behind her as she gracefully walked along. She peeked back at him with one bright, blue eye and giggled. Her voice was soft and innocent. If she attacked him, what could he do? How could he ever touch this innocent little girl roughly or any child at all, for that matter?

He continued along behind her absently as she led him down some steps and through a door. Finally, she stopped and let him go. She pointed to a door at the end of the hall that they now stood within. "It's through there," she said softly. She looked up at his face and smiled weakly. It was clear to Naruto that she feared this place. Naruto nodded and slowly began walking forward. "Be careful, mister," the little girl added from behind him. He spared one last glance back at her small face before she disappeared.

He gulped hard as he faced the door again and took slow steps forward. He hadn't really prepared for this as well as he thought he had. This was the vampire market for fuck's sake... and he was relying on a fucking reputation to keep his ass safe. How could he walk through that door and expect to survive? He supposed that whoever was beyond that door had sensed him and smelt his blood already anyway though. He'd come this far, so he might as well just go on. For Sasuke. Courageously, he pulled on the handle of the door and pushed it inward.

For an underground market, the place was immaculate. It wasn't dark or dank in any respect at all. There were what seemed to be little shops lining what was like an avenue. He could see that the format was relatively the same in any direction. It was like a small town, if anything, within the building, and there were vampires everywhere. They were stopped frozen at every shop, all silently staring at him. Slowly, he entered and let the door swing shut behind himself.

"Umm," he began, his mouth bone dry. He cleared his throat. "Can anyone tell me... where to... get blood?" he asked meekly.

Not a single person stirred. They simply stared. For a short, tense while, Naruto simply stared back, unsure of what the hell else he could do. He was in the thick of seriously questioning his sanity when someone finally spoke up.

"Oh, dear. This won't do."

Naruto was instantly put off, but he found it difficult to react in his current position. He sought out the source of the voice. He found the man leaning leisurely against a shop to his immediate left, grinning at him in amusement.

"Not you," Naruto said. It was intended to be a snarl, but his nerves were weak under the scrutiny of so many dangerous eyes.

Sai barked with laughter. "Don't be so cold," he said. "After all, I'm the only one here who isn't thinking about killing you." Naruto spared another glance around the crowd of people. He looked back at Sai uneasily, but tried to scowl nonetheless. "Don't worry," Sai said, kicking off the shop and strolling toward Naruto. "I'll take care of you." He winked at Naruto as he came to a stop beside him. From one of his glares around the room, everyone slowly went back about their business. Sai looked back at Naruto and smiled. "Shall we?" he offered, nodding for Naruto to follow him. Reluctantly, Naruto did as expected of him. He didn't really have much of a choice though. "Humans don't come to this place," Sai began, "obviously." Naruto rolled his eyes. Yes, that was obvious. "But I guess you're here for Sasuke," Sai added.

Naruto tensed a bit. "What would you know about it?"

"A lot more than you think," Sai said easily. "Sasu and I are so close, you see."

Naruto snorted. "Yeah right," he muttered.

"I'm hurt by that reaction," Sai said dramatically. "I know you're here to get him blood so he doesn't starve himself," he informed, glancing over his shoulder at Naruto, who was one step behind with his eyes narrowed into a glare. "See? I know things," Sai gloated.

"Doesn't mean anything," Naruto said harshly.

Sai shrugged. "I also know that he doesn't really need any blood," he went on, "so you're risking your life for nothing at all."

"You don't really know anything at all then," Naruto said.

Sai only smirked smugly. "Feeding on vampires is enough to keep him going," he informed. "He doesn't need supplements."

Naruto downright scowled. "Why do you know so much about his situation?"

"How could I not?" Sai said back easily. "He's only been attached to me like a leech."

Naruto's heart stuttered and so did his footing, but he recovered quickly. "You're lying."

"Why would I do that?" Sai asked innocently. "Ever since Halloween, I've had to feed double just to please his insatiable appetite." He smirked devilishly. "In and out of the bedroom."

Naruto's mouth went dry. Was Sai telling the truth, or was he just taunting? Was Sai the one that Sasuke had gone to see on Halloween? Had Sasuke truly been with Sai all along?

"What else do you know?" Naruto asked quietly.

"Hmm... well... I wouldn't wanna give his secrets away," Sai replied. Naruto glared at him, so Sai added, "—but I guess you could just find out for yourself."

He stopped and glanced at the shabby structure they now stood in front of, prompting Naruto to follow his example.

"Apparently," Sai began, "my skills in the bedroom aren't euphoric enough for him..." Naruto tensed. "—so he often comes here for a little something extra. Who can blame him though?" Sai shrugged. "Everyone needs an escape. Although, I did advise him against needles. Why mar that beautiful skin of his, right?"

Naruto snapped his eyes back to Sai's smug face. "What?"

"Oops," Sai said, covering his mouth in mock innocence. "I've said too much, but since we're already here and I can't exactly stop you from finding him in room 5B..." He trailed off, shrugging.

Naruto rushed heedlessly past the curtain and down the hall beyond, scanning the doors for 5B. As soon as he found it, he burst in without reservation. The room was small and it had a shabby bed in the far corner with nothing but a ragged blanket on it. What he saw on the bed was what had his knees wobbling instantaneously though. There Sasuke was, tube wrapped around his arm, head leaning back against the wall, and needle still stuck in his vein.

"Sasuke!" Naruto shouted, rushing over and ripping the needle out of the raven's arm. He didn't pause to worry about ripping Sasuke's veins, although that was a very real possibility with acting so brashly. The emotions coursing throughout him were so intense that all sense left him completely.

Sasuke quickly came to life once the needle was snatched away. He'd already taken his dose... well... fifth dose... but the needle was still precious to him. He didn't care who it was, what they were doing, or why. He simply needed his needle back. The drugs must have made him sluggish, though, because he went about trying to snatch his needle back from Naruto at surprisingly normal speed, despite how dire the situation was to him. Naruto, however, began to play an expert game of keep away. In a fit of frustration, Sasuke slammed Naruto up against the wall hard and snatched back his prize. Without even realizing who it was that he had just confronted, Sasuke scrutinized his needle to check it closely for any damage. If it was cracked... oh... if it was cracked, then he would murder that piece of shit right then and there.

"S-Sasuke!" Naruto hollered indignantly.

Sasuke didn't response to his name. He was still very oblivious of the fact that Naruto was Naruto. So Naruto did the only thing that he felt equipped to do other than yell or perhaps cry. He balled his fist and punched Sasuke clear across the face. That snapped him right into vampire mode. He staggered back a couple of steps before hissing wildly and slamming Naruto back against the wall in the blink of an eye. His fangs were bared for a fight—a murder, to be more accurate. Naruto whimpered breathlessly in pain as all the air rushed out of his lungs, but he refused to shut his eyes. He wanted Sasuke to see him, to really see him.

In that moment when Sasuke finally met Naruto's gaze, a little piece of himself came crawling back into his skin. In a fashion that was not at all befitting of his attitude as of late, his fangs snapped back to a much less threatening state and his eyes cleared. They even began to water. For once, Sasuke was in complete control. Slowly, he backed away, letting Naruto drop back down to stand on his own two feet. He swallowed thickly and shook his head in slight denial. He hadn't... He hadn't just done such a thing to Naruto... to...

"Naruto...?" he choked out hoarsely.

"How touching," Sai commented, leaning casually against the door frame.

Sasuke snapped his attention to the other vampire. "What did you bring him here for?" he snarled, his fangs once again bared.

Sai feigned hurt. "What? Little ol' me?" he said, batting his eye lashes innocently.

Sasuke, having no patience for these games at all, advanced on Sai quickly. His hand was already halfway through a downward motion to slash at Sai when Sasuke appeared before the man, but Sai caught Sasuke's wrist tightly and stopped him dead in his tracks.

Sai tsked disapprovingly. "I don't like being touched that way," he said, suddenly very serious. "Back off," he commanded. Sasuke's lip twitched momentarily into a defiant snarl, but he was begrudgingly glared into submission anyway.

"You must be confused, Naruto," Sai commented, taking note of the blond's bewildered expression. "Let me explain." He released Sasuke's wrist and ran his fingers through the man's hair. Sasuke scowled but did nothing else. "You see, Sasuke is quite compliant when he's had his poison. He's especially obedient when you're the one supplying him with it." Eyes still trained on Naruto, Sai moved his hand from Sasuke's dark locks to, instead, caress his cheek gently. "He's like puddy in the palm of my hand."

Naruto felt the urge to puke. But, then again, Sai always had that effect on him. "D-Don't touch him," he demanded weakly. "S-Sasuke..." Sasuke refused to look at Naruto. "Don't... Don't let him touch you," Naruto said, though it was more of a plea. Sasuke clenched his fists and turned his head down and away from Naruto's eyes, which flashed with hurt at the gesture. "I don't believe this," he muttered quietly.

Sai chuckled. "No?" he said, clearly very amused with the whole situation.

Suddenly, he was in the narrow space between Naruto and the wall. One of his hands was clamped under Naruto's chin, pulling up to expose his throat, while his other arm was slung tightly across Naruto's mid-section, holding their bodies together and keeping Naruto's arms from getting in the way.

"Then let's see what he does if I touch you like this," Sai suggested, hissing in Naruto's ear.

Naruto began to squirm. "Let me go!" he demanded.

Sai rumbled with chuckles. "Hah! Look at that! He won't even look at you!" he exclaimed gleefully. "You see, Naruto? He's not yours." He placed his lips right up against Naruto's ear and whispered, "He's mine."

Naruto struggled more fervently. "S-Sasuke!" he called out angrily, demanding the man's attention.

Sasuke only turned further away. If he interfered, then Sai would stop supplying him with drugs, along with the other more illicit things that they did together. He hissed at himself quietly, despising himself for how easily he was controlled by Sai. The drugs were already affecting him though, and it was hard to focus on much of anything at all. Even if drugs affected vampires a bit differently than humans, five syringes of heroine was enough to throw him significantly off kilter.

"Sasuke!" Naruto called out more desperately, but he still received no reply.

"Sasuke~" Sai sang so pleasantly that it was unpleasant. "Haven't you been dying to taste his blood again? I'll hold him for you." He forced Naruto's chin up even further, causing Naruto to grimace slightly and labor harder to breathe. "He's ready~"

Sasuke tensed incredibly and turned away completely, bracing himself against the wall with both hands to keep his temptation at bay. Although, the high he was getting made that quite difficult. Bloodlust and drugs did not mix well. Sasuke didn't usually have to worry about that little issue though, because this was around the time when Sai would usually let Sasuke feed on him... among other things.

"No?" Sai chirped. "Well, I know I've been dying to get another taste," he commented.

Naruto truly began to panic then. He tried to thrash wildly against Sai but to no avail. He couldn't move even an inch away from the man. "S-Sasuke!" he hollered. "D-Don't just stand there!" His eyes began to water when he felt Sai's lips on his skin and the terror intensified. Naruto's emotional output had Sasuke trembling. The situation was overwhelming for him and he began to pant heavily. "S-S-Sasuke!" Naruto cried out desperately. He let out a sharp cry of pain when Sai finally plunged his teeth harshly into his neck. After a moment, Sai bit down even more firmly just for fun, causing Naruto to release a loud sob.

And then Sasuke snapped. He was unaware of what he was doing really, for he hadn't commanded his body to move at all. Some basic part of his being made him move though. The smell of Naruto's skin being broken, the imagery of his blood on Sai's lips, it was maddening to Sasuke in so many different ways. By the good grace of god, though, Sasuke chose Naruto's well-being over both drugs and blood. The part of him that still felt connected to Naruto, the part that was still sane, acted out.

He timed the moment perfectly. When Sai finally retracted his teeth in order to suck out the blood, he removed his lips from the skin for just a fraction of a second, and that was all that Sasuke had needed. He appeared before Naruto, gathered both of Sai's wrists in one of his hand, placed his other hand on Sai's forehead, and then slammed his head back into the wall. And he did it all in one fluid movement. There was a split second where Sai tried to counter, but Sasuke was too quick and Sai was caught off guard. With Naruto still sandwiched between them, Sasuke heedlessly bit into Sai's throat. He pushed his body against Naruto's heavily in order to pin Sai where stood against the wall. Sai hissed vehemently and desperately tried to release his hands from Sasuke's grip while bucking violently to get the men off of him. Sasuke only pressed into Naruto more firmly, refusing to let Sai move even an inch.

Naruto tried to reach up and cover his wound, but Sasuke was in the way. He began to feel extremely woozy, and he knew that he needed anti-venom right away. He couldn't move though.

"S-Sas'ke," he slurred as his eyes began to droop.

Sasuke paid Naruto absolutely no mind at all. Naruto's head started to feel very heavy, but he wasn't too out of it to recognize when Sai began to grow weak. It suddenly occurred to him that Sai was dying. Sasuke was killing him.

"S-Stop," Naruto muttered. "Sas'ke, stop."

When Sai stopped moving altogether, Naruto's eyes began to water. The man was an asshole and a nightwalker and just plain awful... but Sasuke... Sasuke didn't have to kill him. Naruto didn't want to believe that his Sasuke had killed a man so easily. He wanted Sasuke to stop, to return to himself, but he didn't. He continued to suck at Sai's neck, extracting every drop of blood that he could get. That scared Naruto, as he was bleeding openly and Sasuke was completely out of it. He remembered Itachi's warnings, and he knew that he wasn't safe. That fact hurt him deeply, but it was true. Sasuke would probably kill him too as soon he was done with Sai.

The tears that were welling in his eyes fell. He couldn't even hold his head up anymore, so it thudded down onto Sasuke's shoulder. His arms were completely useless at his side. His eyes were closing. He was so weak, so close to blacking out. Somehow, though, he managed to mutter Itachi's name. Somehow.

A few long moments later, Naruto heard Sasuke hiss viciously as his body was moved off of Naruto's. Unable to support himself at all, Naruto began to fall forward. He was thankful, so thankful, that someone caught him. "S'ke," he murmured weakly, but it was lost beneath more violent hissing. Then, he felt a sharp pain in his neck that caused him to whimper. Almost instantly, he started to feel better, and he knew that it'd been anti-venom. He listened, waiting for someone to speak and clue him in on what was happening now, but the room went eerily silent.

"Are you okay?" he heard Deidara's soft voice ask after a moment. He felt a hand smoothing over his forehead into his hair.

"Y-Yeah," he replied, finding it gradually becoming easier to speak.

"Here," he heard Deidara say as something gently prodded at his lips. "Eat this."

He opened his mouth obligingly and accepted the chocolate. He chewed on it weakly and peeked open his eyes. Deidara's face slowly came into focus. He tried to smile, and he figured that it must have been alright because Deidara smiled back.

"Do you think it's alright if I move you?" Deidara asked.

Naruto nodded, so Deidara guided his arms to his neck. "Hold on tightly," he said, scooping Naruto up bridal-style. Naruto did as he was told, and feeling his arms actually react to his commands gave him relief. He could feel strength returning to his muscles steadily.

Deidara began to move, but not as quickly as Naruto had come to be used to. He suspected that Deidara was only trying to be considerate by not going too fast. "I should take you home," Deidara said softly.

"N-No," Naruto began to protest.

"I know," Deidara assured before Naruto could say anything more. "You wanna see Sasuke." He paused. "I shouldn't," he said, "but Itachi needs me." They came to stop and Naruto removed his head from where it rested in the crook of Deidara's neck to see the front of Sasuke's door. Deidara lowered Naruto down gently onto his feet but kept an arm around his waist for support. He took a slow breath. "Brace yourself," he warned before the door swung open.

"What were you thinking?!" Itachi shouted at Naruto, grabbing him by the shirt and yanking him away from Deidara.

"Ita!" Deidara exclaimed immediately. The rest was said through a simple gaze. Itachi stared back at Deidara furiously for a moment before letting Naruto go.

Naruto's strength had returned to the point of being able to at least keep from collapsing, but he was still grateful when Deidara grabbed him by the elbow for extra support. Gently, Deidara guided him into the apartment past Itachi's reprimanding glare. All was silent in the room, and that confused Naruto greatly. Once inside, he began to ask, "Where's—"

"In the bathroom," Itachi interjected, his gaze hardening significantly, "mutilating himself."

Naruto's eyes widened. "Wh-What?" he asked.

Just then, they heard the soft click of the bathroom door handle being twisted. Everyone turned expectantly toward the sound. Itachi, thinking it best to trap Sasuke in the apartment, closed the front door and locked it. At least Sasuke having to unlock it would give him an extra moment to interfere if Sasuke should try to leave, as he was in a completely crazed state for what Itachi could tell. Maybe he was even so out of his mind that he'd forgotten what locks were, let alone how to undo them.

Slowly, the bathroom door opened and Sasuke emerged with blood dripping heavily down his forearm. Naruto's first instinct was to approach. Deidara's grip on his elbow wasn't budging though, so he simply stumbled where he stood. Sasuke refused to meet anyone's eyes or move any further than the doorway of the bathroom. He didn't know why he came out. It was just... Naruto. His presence... it called to Sasuke.

"S-Sasuke?" Naruto murmured, his voice trembling at the sight of him.

His shirt was cut through in various places, causing blood-soaked strips of fabric to hang off of it randomly. There were deep gauges along the side of his neck and down his left forearm, all dripping blood. In short, he looked gruesome. As Naruto called out to him softly, Sasuke twitched and turned his face away.

"Is he... feral?" Deidara asked uncertainly, his grip tightening on Naruto's arm.

He'd tried to read Sasuke upon approaching, but Sasuke was sealed off expertly. Deidara could only tell how dire the situation was because he could feel Itachi fretting frantically. He hadn't the time to take Naruto home. The need to be near his mate at such a moment was too powerful. Sasuke wasn't letting a single emotion slip through his defense though. Deidara had no idea what he was feeling. It was just wishful thinking that Itachi would be able to figure out.

"I don't know anymore," Itachi replied. He took a step toward Sasuke, which earned him a hiss. It was quiet but telling, at least to Itachi. "He's not feral," Itachi supplied confidently. "He's Sasuke, but there's something off about him still. I don't know what it is though."

Slowly, Naruto began to understand the situation. Sasuke wasn't feral because he'd just drained Sai dry, so his bloodlust would be at bay for the time being. As for the fact that his behavior was still so strange, as if he was feral... well... that could only be attributed to one thing.

"Drugs," Naruto said quietly. Everyone, including Sasuke, turned to look at him. He averted his eyes from them all. "He's on drugs."

Itachi turned back to regard his brother. His jaw clenched tensely. "Sasuke... Drugs...?"

"Fuck off," Sasuke interjected. "I'm already coming down."

Itachi began to breathe a bit more heavily as the weight of his emotions crushed down on his chest. "What's become of you?" he asked softly, tears welling in his eyes. "Why... Why are you... doing this?" He paused for an answer, but Sasuke simply turned his face away again. Itachi's chest constricted. He could understand what Sasuke was seeking, and so he felt empathy for his brother. "There was a time when I too—" he began.

"Don't talk to me like you understand," Sasuke interjected. His voice was soft, but the words were harsh. They cut through Itachi's like a hot knife through butter. He remained frozen to the spot, his head resolutely turned away, but his chest began to move more rapidly as he began to breathe slightly heavier. Containing his emotions was becoming a task the more the drugs twisted his mind.

"You have no right to talk to me at all," he went on. Itachi's expression grew more concerned, but he didn't have the chance to speak before Sasuke continued. "I've been fine on my own without you, Itachi, for years. I am fine." He ground his teeth together and clenched his fists tightly. "So just leave," he demanded, pointing a shaky finger at the doorway. "All of you," he added. "Leave."

For a few moments, Itachi was silent. He spent a few seconds simply sorting out his feelings. "No," he eventually said softly, earning himself the attention of Sasuke's eyes once more.

"You don't understand," Sasuke growled.

"So explain it to me," Itachi offered.

"I don't..." Sasuke trailed off and swallowed thickly. He turned his back and leaned heavily against the wall, staining it with blood. "I don't want to," he said quietly. Now that he'd turned away from the judgement that would manifest in those eyes, his anger was fading into something more dangerous. He began to feel deeper, darker emotions struggle to take a hold of him. They were almost impossible to restrain. "I want to... suffer," he added hesitantly.

"Why?" Itachi asked softly, keeping his voice gentle and quiet. He didn't want to shatter this vulnerable moment of Sasuke's by acting too harshly.

Sasuke paused for a moment before decidedly going on. "Because this is all I deserve," he finally said, his voice soft and bleak. He leaned off of the wall and gently touched his wounded arm. "Because I don't deserve help," he went on. "I don't deserve to be looked upon kindly, not after the things that I've done. I... I hate myself, Itachi..." he nearly whispered, "and I want to suffer for my sins." He paused and swallowed the lump in his throat. "Can't you all just let me do that and leave me be?"

"How could we?" Itachi replied, moving toward Sasuke. Sasuke didn't react violently, so he continued to advance slowly. "We're here to help you."

Something about the soft quality of his voice was niggling at the back of Sasuke's brain. He couldn't accept it. He didn't want it. It made him angry, but he welcomed the anger. He preferred it to misery.

"I don't need your help," Sasuke ground out, clutching to his anger like a lifeline.

"Sasuke—" Itachi began gently.

"I don't need your help!" Sasuke shouted suddenly, whipping around in fury and causing everyone to startle. "I needed your help years ago! Now you're too late!" he snapped.

Itachi staggered back a step from shock. Taken aback, his eyes widened. For a long moment, he was completely dumbstruck. When Deidara, having left Naruto to support himself, approached and gently touched his back, though, Itachi was able to recover. "Sasuke... I... I'm sorry," he said softly.

Sasuke barked with manic laughter. "Sorry?!" he repeated. "It's too late for sorry!"

His head pulsed.

He advanced and grabbed Itachi by the shirt, shaking him in fury. "Sorry won't change anything!"

Another pulse and a flash of a memory he had suppressed.

"Sorry won't bring her back! Sorry won't save our sister! Sorry won't forgive me for my sins!" he shouted.

Images of Ren's lifeless body plagued him.

"Sorry doesn't change a goddamn thing, Itachi! NOT A FUCKING THING!" he screamed, rattling Itachi frantically.

Itachi didn't even try to stop his tears from falling. "I know," he croaked out, "but I am sorry. I... I don't know what else to do, Sasuke," he said, grabbing the other's wrists to stop from being thrown around like a rag doll.

"FUCK YOU!" Sasuke screamed as much as he sobbed, his chest heaving heavily.

Deidara tried to gently peel Sasuke's fingers from his mate before the situation got out of hand. Sasuke kept an anguished gaze on Itachi for a moment longer before turning on the blond and swiping at him furiously. Deidara managed to avoid getting scratched in the face, but he ended up with a deep mark across his chest instead. Sasuke was instantly thrown to the floor when Itachi's fist slammed across his face.

"Don't touch him!" Itachi boomed, throwing his arm across Deidara protectively. His voiced cracked from tears that were equally angry as they were guilty.

Without hesitation, Sasuke counterattacked. He jumped up and slammed Itachi against the wall across the apartment. He sank his teeth into Itachi's shoulder, intending to rip the skin out savagely, but he was forced to let go when Itachi's fist slammed into his gut. Itachi shoved him hard across the room and was about to jump atop of him when Deidara appeared before him and brought him to a halt. Deidara pulled Itachi into a tight hug, shushing him quietly. Instantly, Itachi was subdued. Sasuke, however, was another story. He, apparently, had no problem attacking the both of them ruthlessly, even in such a vulnerable position. And, had Naruto not stepped in, he probably would've caused them both irreparable damage too.

Bravely, though, Naruto placed himself between Sasuke and his goal. And, much to Naruto's relief, Sasuke came to a sudden stop. He stood huffing heavily only inches away from Naruto's face. It took Naruto a good few moments to get his breath back, and he was only able to manage a whisper when he did.

"Don't," he said quietly.

It was not a command. It was not a plea. It was but a tiny word with no conviction at all, but it didn't even matter. What got through to Sasuke's brain was not the word at all but, rather, the blue eyes sparkling before him. Slowly, Sasuke backed away from Naruto.

"Listen to your brother," Naruto said quietly.

"But... he... abandoned me," Sasuke replied just as quietly, his eyes almost vacant.

Naruto took a step forward but was stopped when Itachi grabbed his wrist. "Sasuke, no one here wants to hurt you," he assured softly. "Itachi, especially, wants to help." After a moment, he added, "I'm here." That only seemed to infuriate Sasuke though.

Sasuke snapped back to life. "I never wanted this," he said aggressively, his expression growing sour. "I never wanted you! You just showed up out of nowhere and fucked my whole life up! I was fine before! I was happy with Sai! Because of you, I killed the only fucking person who understood me!" he hollered. "You fucked my whole life up, dobe! You ruined everything!"

Naruto's mouth was glued shut. He simply stared on in astonishment. Was that so? He swallowed thickly and released a shaky breath. No... Sasuke was just upset. He was... high... really high. He was just off his rocker. That was all. He didn't mean that... he didn't...

Or did he?

Truthfully, Naruto had been living in a fantasy, hadn't he? He'd fabricated Sasuke's feelings simply because his own were so inevitable. At most, Sasuke had expressed a mild interest. By no means at all should Naruto have been led to believe that Sasuke truly care for him... and... yet... he had. He'd believed it so pathetically wholeheartedly that he couldn't even find the strength to breathe under the weight of Sasuke's words. That was the truth... the cold, hard truth... the truth that Sasuke had never divulged. Naruto was just a burden.

"I love you," Naruto eventually breathed out.

Speaking the words was like an anvil to his chest, not at all as liberating as he'd imagined they would be. He'd finally embraced those words and these feelings. It'd blossomed from a seedling into a full-fledged emotion in his heart. It was love. It was passionate love. He needed Sasuke so completely that it was painful... but that would never happen. For a few moments, Naruto was speechless to his own confession. Everyone else fell completely silent too, all looking at the blond expectantly.

"—but..."

Tears welled up in his eyes, tears that burned his heart. He should have been used to this though. He was often abandoned. Sasuke was no different. He knew this feeling well. Still, it was hard to get the next words off of his tongue. It was hard to seal this encounter with such finality. After everything, could he walk away from Sasuke easily? But did he have a choice? It was all thrown into perspective for him. Sasuke had illuminated everything. This was never meant to be. It was a fool's wish. That was it.

"—b-but... I... I never wanna see you again," he finished, his voice breaking slightly.

Sasuke stared back at Naruto, his eyes wide. He seemed to finally realize what he'd said. He swiftly appeared before Naruto, cradling the blond's face in his hands. And, for once, he looked like Sasuke again. That only crushed Naruto even more.

"Naruto—" Sasuke began softly.

"Sasuke," Naruto interjected quickly, cutting Sasuke off before he could progress.

~xXxXxXx~

"Sasu," Ren whispers pleadingly.

~xXxXxXx~

Sasuke closed his eyes and shook his head lightly, trying to dispel the image in his head. Naruto took that moment to step out of Sasuke's reach. Sasuke quickly grappled for him again, but Naruto stepped further away and shook his head solemnly.

~xXxXxXx~

"Ren..." Sasuke whispers softly in response, his senses slowly coming back to him.

Her voice finally did its work. He was tethered back to earth, but it was too late.

"Ren!" he cries out, cradling her face in his hands.

"Oh, God! Ren!" he sobs as he begins to hyperventilate.

~xXxXxXx~

When Sasuke's vision refocused again, it was on the back of Naruto's head as it walked out the door. And, suddenly, his legs couldn't handle his weight anymore. It was all that blood he'd lost. That's what he'd blame it on... but he wouldn't lie to himself. There was an ache in his chest, a hole in the shape of a certain man, a hole that sucked him of life itself. In the wake of Naruto's pain, Sasuke couldn't even barely breathe... and it was all his fault.

Everything was always his fault.

To be continued...

Author Note: I found this song to match this chapter super fucking well, so I'll just put it here for you guys :) It's Swans by Unkle Bob.