The Willing and the Ungrateful

by TheBarberTodd-IAmMrsLovett

This is based off of my roleplay with another rper. Mr. Todd decides that warming Mrs. Lovett's bed by night would be alright. What will happen though when more comes of it than he had planned?

13. Three Words

Chapter Thirteen: Three Words

The month managed to pass peacefully between the two of them. Mrs. Lovett kept her own promise and did not mention Lucy again and Mr. Todd had made a habit of making meals for Nellie whenever he could as well as set up the furniture for her baby. Now six months pregnant, it was almost impossible for them to comfortably make love without him having to take her from behind but they kept up their active sex life. How could she say no when he was being so kind to her? However, the day did come when he would have to leave and whether Nellie liked it or not, an hour after the sun set he would be going after the Judge.

That morning, as the sun rose and the light crept in through her bedroom window and across his face, he woke from the warmth. She had slept with her back pressed against his chest and he had had his arm wrapped tightly around her between her breasts and abdomen with nothing between them but skin. Sighing, he tightened his grip around the baker and pressed a kiss against her shoulder. She moaned softly in her sleep and opened her eyes at his touch, smiling as she often did when she was woken by him.

"Good morning, pet," he spoke softly, his breath tingling the skin of her neck.

"Morning, love..." Her own voice was soft from the lingering exhaustion still clinging to her. She hadn't wanted to go to sleep last night and had trouble sleeping the night before. Anxiety and fear kept her awake from the thought of him leaving.

"Do you want breakfast?" Sweeney began to kiss at her neck and shoulders as the sun's light revealed the pale scars he had left for her. Little love bites mixed in with territorial warnings.

Nellie sighed at his touch, her tired smile growing a bit as she felt his lips on her neck and his child coming to life in her womb, pressing against the side of her stomach. She closed her eyes and hummed softly. "Mmmh... yes."

"Come with me..."

His hand trailed over her side, never touching her stomach despite the reaching pressure she felt against her side. It almost felt like the baby was trying to get his attention when it did that; followed his movements from inside of her. His hand reached her thigh and caressed the naked skin there gently, his fingers light as feathers against her skin.

Nellie smiled more and pushed the thought of her child away, turning to face the father and giving him a quick kiss before sitting up. Sweeney stood up and closed the curtains on the window as the London streets began to come alive with the morning before starting to search for a pair of pants. He didn't bother to try to hide his morning erection, he was so used to waking up with her that there was no point.

Nellie smirked a bit as she noticed and stood up, slapping his ass as she walked past him to the wardrobe. Not giving her the satisfaction of a reaction, he ignored her and took his shirt from the floor, pulling it on as he still searched for last night's lost pants. Nellie rolled her eyes and put on her bloomers and stockings.

"You're no fun, love."

Finding his pants under the bed he pulled them on and growled softly at the pressure over his erection, tucking in his shirt as he watched her dress. Nellie's smirk widened as she noticed him looking and began to put her dress on slowly.

"Poor love..." She teased, glancing at his crotch where she could see the noticeable bulge in his pants. He felt his dissolve not to ask her to take care of him crumbling as she bit her lip.

"Haven't I already told you that you're a... very attractive woman?" As he spoke he walked behind her slowly and put his hands on her hips, pulling her lightly towards him. She turned her head, smirking, and kissed him softly.

"Mmmh... you told me." She could feel his erection through his pants, pressing against her lower back and felt a bit of pride that she could still turn him on even in this condition.

He kissed her again deeper and trailed his hand back along her side, causing her to shiver at the sensation. She gave a soft moan of encouragement into their kiss as his hands began to pull away at her dress.

"Are you sure you want breakfast?" His voice was a whisper against her lips and his hands were cold against the skin of her back.

"I could wait." Nellie smirked and he took her hand, pressing it against the bulge of his pants and smirking back at her. Nellie bit her lip and began to undo his pants. "Oh, love..."

He watched as her hand worked on his pants for a moment, kissing her again and placing a hand on the back of her neck. Nellie shivered again. His hands were so cold but she loved when he touched her neck like that. She moaned into their kiss and pushed his pants past his hips and to the floor. He put his hands on her hips and stepped out of his pants. Guiding her with him he walked back to the bed and sat on the edge, turning her around and pushing her down to her knees in front of him.

Nellie licked her lips slowly, looking at his erection. "What am I gonna do with that?" She asked teasingly, taking him into her hand and beginning to kiss here and there along his member and over his balls. He growled low in his throat as her lips pressed along him lightly.

"Don't be such a tease, pet." He moved slightly closer on the edge of the bed, causing the tip of his erection to brush against her cheek. Nellie smirked widely at his need for her.

"Alright, alright." She ran her tongue up the length of his cock slowly before taking him into her mouth. He groaned at the feeling of her mouth surrounding him and pushed against the back of her head, forcing her to take him in further. Nellie responded quickly and began to suck on him harder, moving her head faster as his hand kept a firm pressure on the back of her head. His growls deepened.

"Nellie..." She felt her heart flutter in her chest. It still excited her when he did that.

"Mmh..." She took him deeper and began to stroke his balls with her fingers softly.

He groaned deeply and released into her mouth. He let her pull off of him slowly and moved his hand from her hair to her shoulder as she swallowed. "My little Nellie..."

Nellie smiled softly and looked up into his eyes. He smirked and pulled her up into his lap gently. She could feel her thigh getting wet from his member pressing against it and she closed her eyes as he began to kiss at her neck. Her hands found their place on his shoulders.

"Are you still hungry, pet?"

"I could still wait..." She moaned softly and opened her eyes to watch as he began to peel away her stockings and bloomers. Honestly she didn't know why she thought he wouldn't give in. He took one of her breasts into his mouth and bit playfully, his tongue running soft, wet circles around her nipple. Even though they were getting tender it still felt good when he was being gentle with her.

"Oh, love..." Nellie arched her back, holding herself from putting a hand in his hair and preventing him from moving his kisses elsewhere. As good as his tongue felt on her chest, it felt much better between her lips. He moved his mouth to her other breast and sucked, putting a hand over the abandoned one and running circles over her nipple with his thumb. "Love..." she sighed and her eyes closed again.

He laid back on the bed and pulled her down beside him. Nellie opened her eyes as he began to kiss his way from her neck to her chest and up over her stomach. She bit her lip and was thankful when the baby stayed still inside of her, not wanting the mood or the rare touch to be ruined if his lips were met by a small hand or an elbow. Nellie propped herself up on her elbows to watch him over the curve of her stomach and moaned softly as he bit her thighs.

He pushed her legs apart further and placed his head between her thighs. She bit her lip and shut her eyes as he licked across her entrance and ran his thumb over her clit. "A-aah..." She shivered as the cold sensation left on her breasts from the ghost of his tongue joined the pleasure that came as he began to suck on her clit. Two of his fingers slid into her entrance, moving slowly within her. "Aaahh... God, Sweeney..." Her breath came in shaky bursts as he worked.

He moved his fingers faster in response, slowing only to add a third into the tight mix. "Are you a naughty girl, Mrs. Lovett?" He asked between licks. Nellie breathed faster and moaned.

"Oh, yes..." she managed to get out without breaking the words. Smirking at her answer, he sucked on her clit before standing and walking to the dresser. She opened her eyes, frowning a bit that he had not finished her and raised an eyebrow as she watched him pick up a new candle from the box she had bought at the market. They were meant for the candle holders on the dining room table but she had a feeling he wanted to use them for something else.

Sweeney walked back towards her and sat next to her on the bed, placing the candle between her thighs. "Are you really a naughty girl?" He asked again, watching her face as she still breathed quickly, the frown disappearing. Although it wasn't exactly what she had in mind when she bought them, it was exciting and she parted her lips, letting out an encouraging moan as she felt the tip of the candle brush against her entrance. "Ya..."

As soon as she said it he thrust the candle into her six inches deep, earning a gasp, and began to move it quickly. It was thinner than he was and the wax felt odd against her insides, but it still felt good. "Sweeney!"

"You said you were a naughty girl, pet," he smirked watching her face as he thrust the candle another two inches and made his movements faster. Nellie moaned loudly and arched her back.

"Ugh!"

He kept moving the candle faster, watching her squirm from the pleasure and smirking as her face glowed with her climax. He gave her a moment to recover and pulled the candle out of her slowly, earning a shiver and a whimper. "Tell me, pet, do you prefer the wick over the flesh?" Nellie smirked a bit, her breath still coming out quickly.

"I still prefer your wonderful fingers."

"Just my fingers?" He smirked and put the candle down, holding up the three that had entered her and were still glistening with her un-dried juices from when he had been pleasuring her.

"And your skillful tongue," she smirked and tried to calm her breathing, succeeding just a little. "And your amazing cock..."

Smirking, he leaned over her and kissed her, biting down softly on her lower lip. Nellie smiled a bit and sighed against his lips. He broke the kiss and looked at her softly.

"Are you still hungry?" The question was real this time and she nodded, biting her lip.

"Mmh..."

He nodded and stood up, putting his pants back on and tucking in his shirt before helping her stand. Sweeney picked up her dress and underclothes from the floor so she wouldn't have to squat awkwardly to retrieve them. Nellie took them and began to dress herself, smiling as he laced her dress for her.

"Thank you, love."

He didn't respond but he took her hand. It didn't bother Nellie as much as it used to when he fell silent like this. He really was treating her better and she wouldn't make a big deal about him not nodding his head or saying something in response. It wasn't worth it.

Sweeney led her down to the pie shop, warning Toby to leave them be as he passed the boy cleaning a table and ushering Mrs. Lovett into the kitchen, locking the door behind them.

Nellie sighed and watched as he walked to the cupboards and began taking out what he wanted to cook. "You don't have to be that cold with him, love."

Sweeney counted four eggs and took them to the stove. "I don't trust the boy and he doesn't trust me." He started the fire and lined the skillet with butter.

Nellie rolled her eyes and sat at the table as he cracked the eggs into the pan. "Mmh."

He gave his own sigh and began to scramble the eggs over the fire. "Don't concern yourself, pet. I won't harm the boy so long as he's never foolish enough to get in the way."

Nellie bit her lip and looked down. It was foolish of her to ever expect that Sweeney would mold to fit her life in everything and even more foolish if she let herself believe that Toby would come around to him just because she told him to. It made her nervous to think about the two of them and the tension that existed between them.

"If you hurt him, you hurt me too, you know..." She spoke softly, not even daring to look at him. He may have been treating her well but he still had a temper. Especially when it came to subjects she could challenge him on.

"Then keep him in line, pet," he said firmly and doused the fire as the eggs finished their course.

"Alright," Nellie looked up and bit her lip as he came back to the table and served her a plate of eggs. He sighed again as he saw her expression.

"Talk to the boy. Try to convince him I don't mean you any harm. That should keep him safe and out of my way."

But I already do and he still wants to rescue me from you, she thought to herself. She raised an eyebrow and met his gaze. "You scare him."

Sweeney ran a hand over his face, starting to feel a bit frustrated, and leaned back in his chair. "Then explain to him that he has nothing to fear. Tell him I got you pregnant out of your own free will. Tell him I've apologized for the scars, that you've wanted it every time I fuck you."

Nellie rolled her eyes and couldn't help smirking a bit as he mentioned the sex. "Of course."

"While I'm away try to get the boy to come around to the idea." He leaned forward in his chair and began to eat. After a bite he looked back at her, his face serious and glaring slightly. "And don't attempt to create some father-son relationship between us."

Nellie inhaled a sharp breath, suddenly reminded that he was supposed to leave today. He had been so attentive this morning that she had completely forgotten that today was the day he had to go. "When... you have to leave today, right?" Suddenly the eggs didn't seem so appetizing and the hunger dissipated to be replaced by a nauseous feeling.

Sighing, he pushed his plate away from him. He had ruined a peaceful day with one order to that boy; he had been hoping that she would forget until he actually had to leave. "Yes, today."

Nellie looked at him and couldn't stop herself from frowning softly as she took a deep, shaky breath.

"Pet..." He stood and walked towards her, trying to stem the tears before they began. He kneeled in front of her and took her hands in his own. "Don't be so upset..."

Nellie tried to stop herself from looking upset but she couldn't. She met his gaze with soft, saddened eyes and he felt an unwanted pang of guilt in his heart.

"It will be alright... Remember, I could only be gone for a week... two weeks... it might not even be a month..."

Nellie swallowed and kept his gaze, nodding a bit. The baby sat still in her stomach and she was grateful as her gut began to twist itself in knots. She couldn't help but feel the anxiety bursting in her heart. He might only be gone for a week... but he might never come back. As much as she wanted to trust him... there was nothing anchoring him to her and everything holding her down against him.

Sighing, he stood and pulled her up with him, holding onto her as closely as he could and trying to ward off the growing guilt. "Don't start to cry..."

She snuggled against his chest and held onto his shirt, letting out a small sob as the tears came before she could stop them. "I don't want you to go." Her voice was high pitched as she tried to fight off the shaking sobs that were coming up. He couldn't go. He couldn't go. She would never see him again, he couldn't go.

"I know, lamb, I know," he began to rub circles into her back, trying to calm her down. He couldn't blame her for feeling this way but as much as he wanted to tear his heart out and stop it, he couldn't stand to see her like this. He was coming back... he had to.

Nellie sighed shakily against his shirt and shook her head. "I need you so much..."

When his shirt began to feel damp from her tears, he held onto her tighter, stroking her curls. "It's alright, love... I'll be back." He tried to sound as sincere as he could for her, his heart becoming a well of guilt and fear about what she might do if she really didn't believe that he was coming back for her. Her crying softened but she still clung to him tightly, her knuckles white and her palms reddened from the digging of her nails as she clenched his shirt in her fists.

"Come now, dove... stop the tears. You're only making this worse for yourself..." He spoke softly, stroking her hair and her back in turns. Nellie sniffed a bit and wiped the tears away from her cheeks, looking down. Her heart felt like a heavy drum in her chest and her stomach felt like a lead weight filled with water.

Sweeney pulled away slightly and lifted her chin to look up at him. Her cheeks were red and her eyes were glistening, his own heart felt like a strangled rabbit; beating fast in his guilt and anxiety. "Let the last day be a good one..."

The last day... Nellie nodded and gave him a small pout as she met his gaze.

"Now... There has to be a way to make you smile again, hmm?" He held her closer again and kept her gaze, calming his heart beat slowly.

Nellie sighed a bit and gave him a small smile even though she still felt like drowning.

"What is it then, lamb?" He cupped her cheek with his hand and searched her gaze.

Nellie shrugged and gave him another pout. "I'm gonna miss you..." She bit her lip. "Are you going to miss me?"

"Of course, pet." He gave her a smirk and ran his thumb over her lips. The faster he could take her mind off of his leaving, the better. Nellie gave him a small smirk and kept his gaze, the skin of her lips tingling as his thumb moved over them. "There we go... That's better, dove."

Nellie sighed and smiled a bit more, genuinely relaxing. Maybe he would come back... maybe.

"That's my girl," he said softly, letting go of her. Nellie felt her heart start to warm again as he called her his girl.

"Alright... what do you want to do today?" She asked him, knowing the likely answer would be to fuck until he had to leave. At least if he was inside of her she wouldn't be tempted to think about the house without him.

"I leave at sunset. We have the rest of the morning and the day to wither away. What would you like to do, pet?"

That answer took her a bit by surprise. Normally after their fights or after moments like this, he liked to control what happened... She bit her lip and hoped that what she was going to ask for wouldn't be too much. She just... she wanted to feel like they were real.

"Dance..." Her voice was soft and she kept her gaze beneath his eyes, examining the hollow of his cheeks.

"At the dance hall?" He raised an eyebrow, looking at her stomach momentarily. "In your condition?"

That wasn't a no... She gave him a small smirk and kissed his cheek. "Please?" Nellie pouted cutely, looking into his eyes softly and hoping that her cleavage was showing just enough.

He gave a sigh and nodded. "We can go later in the day on the condition that you nap beforehand this afternoon. I doubt if the hall is open this early in the day."

Nellie rolled her eyes at his conditional answer but still smiled and felt a spark of excitement. "Okay..." He would take her dancing... He would take her dancing and for just one night she could be watched and be seen with him, be held by him in front of others... For just one night they could be real.

Seeing the spark in her eyes he smirked again before looking at her untouched breakfast and frowning slightly. He hadn't even realized she didn't take a single bite. "You need to eat, pet."

"I'm not hungry..."

"If you don't eat, we don't go dancing." Sweeney walked back to his seat and sat down, continuing his own breakfast despite the fact that it had grown cold.

Nellie rolled her eyes and sat down. "I'm not a child..." She began to eat anyway, not wanting to risk him actually canceling their plans. He smirked a bit looking up at her.

"If you say so, pet."

Nellie smirked a bit and ate her breakfast quickly. When he finished his own, he stood and took the plates to the sink. She got up and straightened her dress, watching him.

"You want me to take that damn nap now or...?" The clock chimed after she spoke and he listened to it, counting out eleven chimes.

"It's only eleven, you have time. Did you want to talk to the boy while I go out and run a few errands?" Before he left he had to get a few things settled for his trip.

Nellie sighed. "Sure." What choice did she have?

"I'll be gone two hours, pet," he turned back to her and placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Alright..." She was reluctant to let him leave. For all she knew he would just leave London early so he wouldn't have to deal with her for the rest of the day.

He gave her another kiss before walking out and putting on his jacket. She heard the front door close after him and sighed before going to find Toby.

In town, Sweeney bought extra food for the days he would be traveling and a set of clothing that could be destroyed if he were able to get to the judge. He kept her out of his thoughts as he shopped, already numbing himself of the crowd around him as he bought a new notebook for his diary entries and an extra cape that could also be destroyed after he shaved the judge.

At home Nellie sat with Toby in her parlor and had him read to her from a book of fairy tales for a small while. When he finished the story of "The Fisherman and his Wife," he stopped and looked up at his mistress.

"Mum?"

Nellie looked up from the shirt she had been mending for Sweeney while Toby was reading. "What is it, love?"

"Where is he really going?" Toby was young but he wasn't stupid. The barber didn't have any family or at least not any that he talked to. The story that he was going to Edinburgh to visit them was far-fetched and ridiculous. He was twelve not two.

Nellie sighed and set the shirt beside her on the couch. "Don't start, Toby... I told you, Mr. T is off to Edinburgh to visit 'is sister. He hasn't seen her since he got back and they've got some catching up to do. He'll be back."

Toby bit the inside of his cheek and looked down. "Would it be bad if he didn't come back?"

"Very." Nellie made her voice firm and cupped Toby's chin beneath her hand, making him look up at her. "I know you don't like him and he knows it too. Give him a chance, love. Keep on his good side." She placed a kiss to his forehead and took her hand from beneath his chin. "You'll see, darling. He'll come back and you'll get a new little sibling to chase after. It'll be a pretty picture. All four of us."

Sighing, Toby opened the book again and began to read the next fairy tale to his mistress. Nellie felt guilty that she was telling him this when she knew she couldn't be certain. Still... she was going to give him a chance and Toby needed to, too if she was going to be able to keep them both. As he began to read she took the shirt in her hands again and continued to mend the small tear on his sleeve.

By the time that Sweeney returned home, Toby had grown bored of the book and gone to see if there were any boys around outside and Nellie had finished fixing his shirt, folding it and placing it with his others. Now she paced the bedroom by herself, waiting for him to come back. He went to his shop first, placing the supplies on his chair before going downstairs to her bedroom.

Nellie sighed heavily as the clock let her know that two full hours had passed since he left and sat on the bed pouting. He walked in, raised an eyebrow, having heard her sigh in the hallway, and took his jacket off.

"I was only gone for two hours, pet."

Nellie smiled when she heard his voice and looked up immediately. "Sweeney..."

"Did you think I wasn't coming back?" He walked to her and studied her expression for hints that she might have been crying and was relieved when he found none.

"No... I trust you..." She gave him a soft smile. "I was just bored."

"Well then, you had best take your nap now so that you don't waste your time later." As he spoke he hung his jacket on the back of a chair and took off his boots.

"Why do you want me to take that damn nap..." She sighed and looked away from him. "I'm not tired."

"I'm not taking you dancing in your condition otherwise." His voice was firm but not unkind and Nellie rolled her eyes.

"You didn't answer!"

"You're with child, you need to conserve your energy." He looked back at her sternly. Nellie bit her lip and looked down. She knew if she pressed it would start a fight.

"Okay then..." She sighed and stood up, taking off her dress slowly. He watched as she undressed, ignoring the tension building in his groin as she slipped out of her undergarments. Nellie didn't look back at him and laid down under the blankets, turning onto her side. He watched her until she fell asleep and sat in a chair by the bed, deciding to take care of himself while she slept rather than deal with the tension.

He undid his pants and slipped them down over his hips just enough for his erection to come out and began to stroke himself quietly. Nellie moaned a bit in her sleep and he sighed in pleasure, imagining that the moan was because of him. As he continued he let out a small growl by mistake but kept going, not noticing that Nellie had frowned in her sleep at the noise and begun to wake up slowly. He growled again softly and she raised an eyebrow, her back turned to him.

He whispered her name softly and she smirked, understanding what was going on and turned to look at him slowly. "You know, love... you could have told me."

Sweeney jumped when he heard her and quickly covered himself. "Eleanor!" He was so flustered at getting caught that her full name slipped past his lips and he could feel a slight blush on his cheeks. "I thought you were sleeping." He spoke firmly, trying to erase the red from his face and get a little of his dignity back.

"Well, I was." Nellie raised an eyebrow, amused at his reaction and the fact that he could get embarrassed at all.

"Go back to sleep." It was an order as he fixed his pants. Nellie bit her lip and sat up on the bed.

"Come here."

Sighing, Sweeney looked back at her and hesitated before going to the bed and sitting on the edge. Nellie gave him her cutest pout and softened her gaze, trying to take away his embarrassment.

"Why didn't you tell me? I can take care of that."

"You need rest, pet." His voice was still firm but it had gone softer again and she could pick a bit of concern out of his tone. He raised a hand and tucked a curl back behind her ear, keeping his gaze away from her breasts despite the tension in his groin pulling him to look.

"Shh... I slept enough..." Nellie leaned forward and kissed him, starting to undo his pants again.

"You slept ten minutes at the most," he stopped her hand with his own, "that's not nearly enough."

Nellie smirked a bit at his persistence and bit her lip. "You don't want me to finish you?"

"It's not a matter of wanting."

"No need to wait, love..." She kissed him again deeply, stroking the fabric over his erection softly. He broke the kiss to look at her.

"If we do this, you finish your nap. Understood?"

Nellie rolled her eyes. "Of course, of course." She kissed him again, squeezing his erection through his pants gently. He let go of her hand and deepened the kiss, relaxing at her touch. Nellie smirked into the kiss and removed his pants quickly. Kissing down his neck softly, she slid from the bed and got down onto her knees, looking up at him. He smirked watching her.

"What would you do without my skills, mmh?" She smirked and looked at his erection.

Sweeney raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you already witness that?"

"I like to remind ya..." Nellie took him into her hands and stroked her fingers along his length slowly. He growled and smirked down at her.

"Pretentious as always, aren't we, pet?"

Nellie laughed a bit. She loved it when he was playful with her. "Course." She moved him into her mouth gradually, watching his face as he groaned. "Mmh..." She sucked on him slowly and he put a hand in her hair, pulling softly at her curls.

"Nellie..."

She smirked and took him from her mouth, licking along his length playfully and stroking his balls lightly with the tips of her fingers. When she brought him back into her mouth he pushed on the back of her head and forced her to take him in deeper. She put a hand on his shaft and stroked him hard where her mouth couldn't reach.

"Fuck..." He groaned feeling close to his climax as she continued to pump him hardly, moaning against his length. He let go of her hair as he came into her mouth. He growled deeply and fixed his pants as she swallowed and looked up at him, licking her lips slowly. As she licked her lips a thought came into his mind and he motioned for her to come join him on the bed.

Nellie smiled and stood up slowly, sitting down next to him on the bed.

"Lay down."

She didn't question him but did as he asked her, laying down on her back and looking up at him intensely.

"Spread your legs."

Nellie raised an eyebrow but didn't object, spreading her legs slowly for him. He stared at her for a moment, looking over her body from her breasts to her sex before looking back at her and smirking wickedly.

"Touch yourself."

"W-what?" Nellie looked at him in disbelief before smirking widely. She never expected any man that began as Benjamin to become so dirty but Sweeney was surprising her at every turn. "You're so dirty..."

"Go on then, pet," he smirked as he watched her. "Touch yourself."

Nellie bit her lips and started to caress her breasts softly with one hand and stroking her clit with the other. Sweeney could already feel his erection coming back and loosened his pants again, watching her.

"Enter yourself, pet..."

Nellie moaned quietly and slowly added a finger to her entrance, pumping it slowly. "Aaahh..." He took his erection in his hand and began to pump himself as he watched her.

"Go on, pet... Pleasure yourself... Keep going," he encouraged her, feeling more and more turned on by the sight as she added a second finger, moving them deeper and arching her back as she moaned. He pumped himself faster. "Say your name pet..."

Nellie frowned a bit hearing him but did as he asked. "N-Nellie?" She moaned louder and moved her fingers faster.

"Say it again." Sweeney pumped himself harder watching her fingers move fluidly in and out.

Nellie added a third finger and arched her back as far it would go, moaning loudly. "N-Nellie!"

Feeling close to climax again he moved her hand away from her entrance, quickly pinning it down to the bed with her other hand as he entered her and began to pump harshly. Nellie's eyes widened and she she moaned louder as he thrusted harder against her. After a moment of heavy thrusting he emptied himself inside of her, pinning her hands down tightly under his.

Nellie's breath quickened and she felt close to her own climax but she didn't complain when he stopped. He pulled out of her and when he noticed she hadn't finished, he placed a hand between her thighs and began to pump her hard with three of his fingers, watching her face. Nellie moaned loudly and squirmed, climaxing around his fingers in a matter of moments. He pulled his fingers out when she finished and tangled them into her hair as he looked down at her.

"I know you don't want to... but now would be the time for your nap to be finished, pet." He spoke softly and caressed her cheek with his thumb, leaning forward to place small kisses along her shoulder. Nellie was breathing hard, overcome by how rough he had been with her and how gentle he was being now. Smirking at her, he kissed her lips. "Time for sleep, pet." He laid down under the blankets and pulled her next to him, letting her use his chest as her pillow.

She snuggled against his chest, still breathing quickly, and closed her eyes. "Love you..."

"I know, pet." He stroked her shoulders lightly as she calmed down. "I know. Rest. We'll go dancing soon enough." He felt her breathing slow and become steady against him. When he could tell that she was truly asleep, he kissed her hair and sighed. He himself wasn't sure where that burst of naughtiness had come from. It was naughty enough that she would take him into her mouth or allow him to take her from any position that he wanted. Why he wanted to fuck her with a candle or watch as she touched herself, he wasn't sure. Still... it had been exciting to watch her and even more exciting that she had let him. Her breath on his chest and her gentle movements in her sleep calmed him and he stopped thinking about it, closing his eyes.

After they had napped for about an hour, Mr. Todd woke up slowly and quietly, carefully disentangled himself from the sleeping baker. He wanted her to sleep for as long as she could before he took her out. Gathering his clothes from the floor, he pulled on his pants and found his belt. Once he had himself fully clothed, he strapped on his boots and waited an extra five minutes before walking back to the baker. He shook her shoulder gently.

"Pet," he spoke softly as she began to stir at his touch, giving a soft moan, and opened her eyes slowly, "I believe you wanted to go dancing?"

"O-oh... yeah..." She yawned, suddenly wishing she had had more time to sleep.

"If you're still tired, we can always stay home." He sat on the edge of the bed next to her and studied her expression softly.

"No!" Nellie sat up as quickly as she could. It didn't matter if she still wanted to sleep, she had to go dancing with him before he left. "No..." She gave him a soft pout and tried to clear the exhaustion from her face.

He smirked a bit at her sudden burst and placed the back of his hand against her forehead, feigning concentration as he checked her temperature. "Oh, Mrs. Lovett," he sighed and took his hand away as she frowned at him. "You really should stay, you're very warm."

Nellie gasped and got up from the bed. "I'm perfectly fine!"

Sweeney grabbed her arm and pulled her down into his lap. "You're sure you don't feel sick in the slightest?"

Nellie raised her eyebrow, half amused and half annoyed that he was choosing now to tease her. "Really, Sweeney. Really."

"I thought you liked it when I held you," he spoke softly and kissed along her jawline from her chin to just beneath her ear. Nellie bit her lip and smiled a bit.

"Of course I do..." She sighed in content as his lips pressed against her skin lightly. It wouldn't take much time if she let him have her just one more time before they went out... Instead however, she heard him sigh and he pushed her gently from his lap and to her feet.

"Go on, then. Get dressed if you still want to go dancing after all." While it was fun to tease her and watch her get all worked up, he couldn't deny the time and it was getting to the later part of the afternoon. Soon it would be evening and he would have to go. If she wanted to dance they had to do it now.

Nellie gave him a small smile, a bit surprised that he didn't want to try to fool around for a while before they left, but relieved that he was at least going to take her. She kissed his cheek, her lips warm against his skin. "Good."

She walked to the closet and he laid back on the bed, waiting for her to get ready. Nellie sifted through her dresses. She only had so many to choose from but she wanted to look as good as she could while she was with him public. Since he had destroyed one dress and since she hadn't had the time to indulge herself in shopping, her choices were limited. Biting her lip she chose the finest, more loosely fitted, dress she had.

Looking back at him, she sighed noticing that he wasn't even watching her as he normally did. Still, she set the dress on the chair and slipped her discarded underwear back on. Her thighs were a bit sticky where she had gotten wet after he pulled out and she licked her thumb, wiping the area clean. She pulled the dress over her head and tied the laces as tightly as she could, adjusting her bust so that her breasts were more supported. Without the added benefit of a tight corset it had been harder to keep them where she wanted them.

When she looked in the mirror she sighed. Her stomach wasn't too big yet, but it was big enough to where it added an extra four inches to her width. Her breasts were definitely growing or at least they looked bigger with the stomach and her dress pushing them up. For all the world, at least to her, she looked twice as big as she normally was and it wasn't very attractive. How Sweeney could still look at her and still find it in him to fuck her blind most nights, she had no idea. Just the thought of how big she was going to get while he was gone made her feel nauseous.

Rolling her eyes, she re-pinned her hair into place and added a light layer of powder to her cheeks. Turning back to him she walked to the bed and put a hand on his knee. "I'm ready."

Sweeney had heard her approaching footsteps and closed his eyes, pretending to be asleep and hoping that perhaps she might change her mind and want to stay home. Nellie rolled her eyes and sighed heavily. "You're unbelievable!" She punched his chest lightly, sitting next to him on the bed. He ignored her and turned onto his side, nuzzling his face against the bedspread. Nellie pouted watching him. He could really be adorable when he wanted to be. "Sweeney..."

He took one of the pillows and snuggled his face against it, sighing in his 'sleep.' Nellie let out a frustrated sigh at his antics and punched him again softly. "Sweeney Todd!" Sweeney pretended to wake up slowly, opening his eyes and blinking a bit as he stretched his arms out.

"What was that? I thought we had already gone out and come back, pet? Don't you remember?" He smirked a bit looking at her face. She was adorable when she was upset with him like this. Not angry, just half amused and half frustrated with him. The frustration he knew from experience never lasted very long, whether Nellie ended up with her way or not.

Nellie rolled her eyes and bit the inside of her cheek, feeling the frustration already dissipating quickly. He was being so playful today... and God, he was handsome when he smirked like that. How was she going to make it an entire month without him? Or even more if he decided she wasn't worth coming back to? He was so amazing when he was like this... sweet and caring and seemingly devoted to her even though she knew he wasn't. She wondered if this is how Lucy felt when she looked at him. Like her heart was soft and light and like she could just melt against him when his eyes softened and his lips curled into that smirk. That beautiful smirk.

"We had a nice time," he spoke in that soft, gentle tone he used when he was playing with her. Sometimes it was manipulative, but most of the time, at least she hoped most of the time, he was using it to make her smile. "We danced for hours. You were very happy. It's too bad you can't remember, pet." He turned onto his back and put his arms behind his head and Nellie could see the tone of his muscles under his shirt as the fabric stretched. She gave her own small smirk and took his hands, pulling him to sit up.

"Well then... I want to live this moment again." He sighed and rubbed the back of her hands with his thumbs.

"Must we really go out dancing, pet?" She could hear the hesitation in his voice. Nellie knew when she asked him that he wouldn't really want to. He didn't like crowds, he didn't like being romantic in public, and he didn't like public drinking. Still... she rarely asked him to go outside of his comfort zone. A bit disappointed that he had let her get all dressed up for nothing, she sighed.

"Alright... We don't have to go." What use was going out dancing on their last night anyway? She didn't want Sweeney's last thought of life with her to be one of discomfort. She wanted him to leave thinking about her, not all that he had to do to keep her calm and content. He had already done so much for her this month... maybe it had been a little selfish to even ask. Still... all she had wanted was to be seen with him one last time.

"We can still dance, pet..." Sweeney stood up from the bed and drew her closer against him. He knew she wanted to go out with him and he was certain it had more to do with than dancing. Still... he didn't want to go into a crowd tonight. He already would have to walk for at least two hours before he could hire a horse or a traveling carriage to take him towards Edinburgh; not to mention that he didn't care for other people in general and the idea that he would be brushing against or in close proximity to a sea of them made him uneasy. But he needed Nellie to be happy before he left.

Nellie smiled softly and looked at the hands on her waist before looking back at him. He really was trying for her for once, wasn't he? "Okay..." It came out as a whisper and she frowned a bit when his hands left her waist and he pulled away from her.

"I'll be back in just a moment." His voice was still soft and she relaxed knowing she hadn't somehow disrupted his good mood. Sweeney left the room and went into the parlor, taking a dust cover off of a large music box he remembered being in the parlor. In the bedroom, Nellie sighed and waited for him, trying not to let doubt come into her mind now that he wasn't in the room; giving her those soft eyes and that calm, reassuring touch. She wasn't sure how long after he left it would take her to completely convince herself that he wasn't coming back and whether she would even be able to function without thinking about him constantly.

Sweeney tested the music box and satisfied that it still worked, he put the sheet back over it and lifted it from the end table it sat on. It was heavy, but nothing he couldn't manage. When he came back into the room carrying something in his arms covered by a sheet, Nellie raised her eyebrow and cleared her head of any negative thought.

"What's that?"
Sweeney set the music box on the dresser and took the sheet from it once more. "We can't very well dance without music, can we, pet?"
Nellie smiled as she recognized the music box from her parlor. She hadn't touched it, or rather hadn't had a chance to touch it, in years. It had been priced low enough for her to buy it with the limited funds that Albert gave her to get by with every month. She barely had enough to keep herself clothed, but she loved music... In the end it cost her nearly the entirety of that month's spending and with Albert's bad temper and love of quiet afternoon naps, she never got to use it before his death and after... she almost never had time to relax. "Mmh... course."

Sweeney turned the crank as far as it would go before turning back to Mrs. Lovett. Music began to play softly from the box and he held out his arms for her to come to him. Nellie's smile grew and she walked to him, taking his hand in hers. He put his free hand on her waist and pulled her against him, his hand sliding to the small of her back as they began to move to the music softly. Nellie met his gaze and let all the love she felt for him radiate from her gaze as she moved slowly with him.

He ignored the look in her eyes, it worsened the guilt he felt whenever she gave him that look, and his own eyes grew a little colder. He wanted her to be happy when he left, but he didn't want her to expect too much from him. There was no doubt, even if he chose to ignore it, that he had begun to care for her more deeply than he thought he could, but he didn't want to come back and have her filled with false assumptions that he would be over Lucy or willing to fully commit to a husband and wife relationship with his landlord.
"I hate to remind you, pet," his voice was a bit firm but he kept it from being unkind, "but there are only a few hours left until sunset and I simply must leave once it's dark enough."

Nellie swallowed, sensing the slight change in his mood, and looked away from his hardened eyes. "I know that..."

"It will be alright, pet." He pulled her as closely against him as he could and traced her back along the track of her scars with his fingers. "As long as you have these, there is no doubt on it." Even if Nellie doubted him and tried to move on... no man would want a woman scarred and marked by another man the way that Nellie was. It was selfish... but it kept her for him.

Nellie bit her lip and put her head on his chest, shivering as his fingers ran along her back, and stared at an empty space on the wall. She could feel his heart beating beneath her cheek and gave her a soft reminder that even when he was cold and a bit threatening... he was human. He placed a soft kiss on the top of her head and moved his hand from her scars to the back of her head.

"I... promise." His voice had grown soft again. Nellie sighed shakily and closed her eyes as he stroked her hair.
"I'm going to miss you so much..." Her voice shook but she couldn't help it. She needed him to stay or she would never get him back. He stopped moving and held onto her tighter as she began to shake. Nellie swallowed and her own arms wrapped around him tightly. He began to rub her back gently and grimaced a bit at how tightly she was holding onto him.

"There, there, pet... Cry if you must." Sweeney kept his voice even and soft, his hand continuing to rub the small circles into her back as she clung to him. Nellie began to cry and her hands clutched his shirt in tight fistfuls as she tried to calm herself. She couldn't help it.

"I don't- want you to- leave me..." she managed to get out in shaking breaths. "Not now... I know you- have to... but..." Her voice trailed off and she couldn't continue, her shaking breaths were becoming too close to each other for anything she said to be coherent. She felt like such an idiot. A weak, impulsive idiot.

"I know, pet, I know." The guilt was blooming in his heart as she shook and he tried to suppress it. He should have just let her say she loved him and left it at that. Now all of the hard days work was ruined and she was a mess. "You will still be with child when I return." Sweeney hoped the reminder of the child she had always wanted would help clear her mind. While he was gone she could spend her free time bonding or reading or whatever it is she did when he wasn't around. Maybe that thought would be enough...

Nellie calmed a bit as he spoke to her and sniffled against his chest, frowning. "You can't miss it..." Her voice was as small as she felt and her grip around him loosened to a more comfortable embrace as her physical strength dissipated with her emotional.

"I won't. You'll still have plenty of time before the child arrives by the time that I return." Sweeney relaxed a bit as he felt her calm. He was coming back... she needed to know that. Nellie let out a small sigh and nodded a bit. His own grip around her loosened as he felt her head moving against his chest. "Are you better now, pet?"

Nellie hesitated a moment before she answered him. He may have calmed her down but she still knew that he was never going to come back. When he looked at her like that and gave her that cruel reminder... she knew. He managed to fool her again and now he just wanted one last easy night. "No, but it's fine."

He tightened his grip around her again and she feared for a moment that he might just kill her and be done with it all. His hands, however, were soft on her back and she swallowed a bit as she realized he was still trying to comfort her.

"Then I shall hold you until it is." Sweeney placed a kiss on top of her head and Nellie reluctantly relaxed again and let a small smile come onto her lips.

"You're cute, love..."

"No, I'm not." His voice hardened a bit but he caught himself and attempted to turn it into something teasing. "I'm merely trying to get you back into bed. That's all."

Nellie raised an eyebrow, not catching the hint of teasing he tried to put into it and pulled out of his embrace. "Well then, at least your sincere."

"You can't tell when I'm joking, can you?" Sweeney held back from rolling his eyes. He knew he made another mistake and he had to cover it up before Mrs. Lovett became too angry or upset with him. It wouldn't do if she made him leave too early.

Nellie frowned still detecting a hint of hostility in his voice and crossed her arms over her chest. "No..."

Mr. Todd couldn't help but let out a small, rough laugh at the woman. She was definitely more work than he ever thought she would be when he started this and it was ridiculous and he had been back for nearly a year and he still couldn't keep her happy for one full day when it mattered. "You're angry at me and you don't even have a real reason to be."

Nellie gasped at the open way that he was mocking her and she felt a mixture of embarrassment, shame, frustration, and anger mixing into her desperation. "I do have a reason!"

"For making a joke? Come on, pet." Sweeney tried to become serious again but he couldn't help it and as much as he didn't want to, he let out another small laugh. They were a ridiculous thought, the baker and the barber. He couldn't keep a woman utterly devoted and in love with him happy and no matter what he did he couldn't stop himself from feeling something for her despite the love he had for his first wife.

"You're not being clear!" Nellie raised her voice and the anger burned a bit brighter. She was certain that he was mocking her and a part of her, granted a very small, minute part of her, wanted him to leave now instead.

"I wasn't trying to get you in bed." Sweeney calmed himself down and let out an exhausted sigh.

Mrs. Lovett searched his gaze. His voice didn't sound manipulating but the better way to tell had always been his eyes. They seemed... soft and tired. The anger dimmed to a small match and she let herself smirk just a little bit. Maybe he had just been teasing her... "You so were."

"I was not!" Sweeney's sudden bursts of laughter, now gone, were refocused on what she had called him before he had tried to tease her and he could feel the guilt being ignited by a small flame of his own anger. Anger at himself more than Nellie, but anger still. "I was trying to comfort you and I do not want to be called "cute" again. Murderers are not cute. Men who rape the women they love are not cute. Men who scar are not cute." His voice grew louder with each word and Nellie shrunk back a bit, a hand going instinctively to her stomach. He never yelled like that... even when they were fighting.

"Sorry, sorry..." Her eyes widened a bit as she saw the anger reflected in his eye. It seemed that no matter what she said tonight she couldn't get it the right way and now she would pay the price for it.

Sweeney caught his temper as she backed away from him and he saw the hand protecting the child. He took a slow breath and looked down, pinching the bridge of his nose and trying to calm the fire. "You did nothing wrong."

Nellie gave a small sigh of relief as she watched him, still wary that he might recant. "I know..."

Sweeney gave a final sigh before looking back up at her. She had relaxed a bit but he could still sense her guard. Opening his arms, he beckoned her to him once again. "Come here."

Nellie walked to him slowly, keeping her gaze locked onto his. The fire seemed to be gone... but she didn't trust him entirely. When she was close enough, he took her back into his arms and held her head softly against his chest. Nellie stayed silent for a moment, her cheek pressed against his shirt.

"Love?" She kept her voice small.

"Pet?" Sweeney answered her with a sigh. He had been hoping they wouldn't have to talk about his outburst.

"I love you." It was a risk and she knew it could make him angry again... but even if it didn't matter to him... she wanted him to know that she still loved him as much as she did, more than she did, when he first came back to her.

"I... know, pet." He tightened his grip again and she swallowed waiting to see whether it was in anger or distraction. When he didn't move again she closed her eyes and began to cry softly. When Sweeney heard the sniffling, any bit of the flame that was left was doused by the torrent of guilt. He placed a kiss on top of her head and began to rub her back, loosening his grip. "Don't cry... it'll be okay..."

"N-No... it won't be okay... I..." Her shaking returned and she bit her lip before continuing. "Why would you- come back? You don't want- this child, you don't- love me, you don't like Toby, you- hate London..." No more hoping. It wasn't worth it.

"Pet..." He paused, not exactly sure how to handle the situation. He certainly couldn't tell her the truth and explain all of the... guilt and tension and growing affection that he felt towards her. In a way she was right. He did hate London, the thought of coming back to it and a home where half of the population didn't want him there was the last thing that he wanted to do. Still... he didn't have an answer about the child and he certainly... he didn't want to leave Nellie behind. He couldn't. He would come back...

Suddenly a thought had occurred to him. Though he might not be able to convince Nellie on his word alone and he certainly could not expose himself to her, he could at least give her the assurance that she would see him again. "If I did not intend to return, would I entrust you with this?" Sweeney slipped a hand into his pocket and took out two of his razor blades. He would never part the set, she had to know if he gave her one or any amount, he would reunite them. Nellie looked up from his chest, her cheeks wet, red-tinged, and puffy from her crying. As she looked at the razors he tossed them onto the bed.

Nellie sighed shakily and shook her head. "You won't be back, right?"

"I wouldn't leave a razor with you if I didn't intend to come back, would I?" As he spoke he cupped her face in his hands gently and smoothed the tears from her cheeks. Nellie frowned and kept her gaze low. It was a trick... he still had four other razors... what difference would it make if he was missing two?

"I will come back, pet..." Sweeney leaned towards her slowly until their lips met and gave her a soft kiss. Nellie didn't move and when he pulled his face away she locked her eyes onto his.

"Tell me you love me."

"Why?" He felt the tension in his chest.

"Please, Sweeney..." She swallowed and forced herself to continue. "Just say it... You don't have to mean it... but say it..." Just once... just once and the whole of his time with her would be worth it. That's all she ever wanted from him.

"Do you really need this, pet?" Sweeney could feel the tension building and it was becoming harder for him to breathe. He couldn't expose that... it was supposed to be enough that he cared.

"Y-Yes." Her voice broke but her intent remained clear. He had to tell her.

"Fine." Sweeney swallowed and looked away from her. She just wanted him to say "I love you," that didn't mean he had to actually explain how he felt... Yet as he went to speak he could feel his courage wavering and an image of Lucy's sudden appearance in his mind took it away entirely. "I... care for you." His eyes locked onto the floor, he couldn't look at her. Nellie looked at him for a moment before her own gaze met the floor and she began to cry again. "I... apologize."

Nellie raised her hand to silence him and shook her head before walking out of the room. He let her go and walked to the bed, sitting down and taking one of his discarded razors into his hands. He flicked the razor open and examined the blade, running his thumb along the edge lightly before pressing just a bit until a thin line of blood emerged from the skin. It was bright and red and the small sting of pain was a minute price to pay for the evidence that he was alive.

Rolling up his sleeves he pressed the blade against his skin. His legs had plenty of scars on them from prison life and so Nellie hadn't, or at least he assumed she hadn't, noticed the deliberate thin incisions on his calves and knees. Now it didn't matter if she noticed or not. He had managed to ruin everything he had set up. He pulled the blade horizontally along his skin and the thin line appeared again.

He set the razor just below it and pressed harder as he pulled and a slower, thicker line appeared and a stronger pain came with it. "So am I alive," he whispered to himself, running the blade deeper until his forearm glowed red. He turned to his right forearm and ran the blade vertically from just beneath his wrist down to the crook of his elbow. Blood poured from the wound and he felt a little lightheaded. He had made upwards of two hundred and fifty cuts into his left arm and the guilt had been suppressed to a dull thrumming in his heart. Now he could feel his stomach churning. He made a second vertical cut before the razor slipped from his hand.

He ran his hand slowly over the carnage and the blood smeared. The room began to spin and the dizziness he felt increased. He fell back on the bed heavily and within moments he lost the majority of his consciousness. A deep... senseless semi-consciousness overtook him. In the bathroom, Nellie sat on the floor with her back to the door and sobbed. She put her face in her hands and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself as she looked at the ceiling.

"He will never be mine..." She let out a shaky sigh and wiped her cheeks. When she calmed she forced herself to stand and decided she would ask him to leave early. There was no point in him staying another few hours and she couldn't take much more of this. She cleaned her face and walked back to the bedroom. When she opened the door she thought he was gone but as her eyes found the bed she gasped at the dark stains forming on her sheets and the bright red glowing of his arms. "Sweeney!" Nellie quickly forgot her decision and ran to his side, afraid he was already dead.

"Nell... Nellie?" Her voice was blurry and he wasn't sure whether it was real or a part of the dizzying, twisting sensation in his skull. He lost all of his consciousness then; as if the effort to even speak had been too much.

"Oh, God..." Relief and panic flooded Nellie as she looked frantically from his arms to his chest to his face. "Alright... Alright, Nellie. Don't panic." She swallowed and got up quickly, running to the bathroom and getting two towels. Returning to the bedroom as quickly as she could, she wrapped the towels around his arms tightly. "Oh, Sweeney... what have you done to yourself, love..."

Sweeney groaned a bit in his unconsciousness and Nellie relaxed a little. "He will... wake up." He grimaced and she got up to get a wet washcloth to clean the blood from his hands. "Awe, love..." she whispered to herself as she cleaned the blood from his fingers gently. Starting to slowly come back to semi-consciousness, he managed to hear her muffled voice and twitched his hand in an attempt to reach for her. She sighed and kissed his fingers softly.

"Nell..." His voice was soft and small as he began to wake up, his head swimming and his stomach twisting. Nellie looked back into his eyes as they opened slowly and squeezed his hand softly.

"Don't do this again."

Sweeney tried to push himself up on his elbows but the sheets were still soaked in his blood and he slipped back, groaning softly. "What are you talking about?" His head was pounding and he couldn't remember what happened right before he passed out, just that Nellie had left.

"Shhh... Nothing..." Nellie kissed his cheek and helped him position himself on the clean side of the bed so that he could lay properly on his back. "You need to rest."

"Don't lie to me, Nellie." He watched her as he spoke, his vision a bit hazy as the nauseous feeling in his stomach remained. Looking down at himself he noticed the mass amounts of blood on his shirt and pants and the small amount that was seeping through the towels around his arms. "Who did I kill? The boy?"

Nellie frowned sadly watching him. "You did this to yourself..."

"I did?" He could vaguely recall the blades in his hands and he closed his eyes for a moment trying to remember clearly. "Were you... present?"

Nellie shook her head slowly. "I wouldn't have let you do it."

"What happened before this?" He reached out his hand to her slowly, opening his eyes.

She took his hand and helped him sit up. It was useless arguing with him fully conscious, arguing with him to rest when he's barely conscious wasn't an option. He'd hurt himself trying to prove a point. "It doesn't matter."

"It does. You seem upset." He pulled weakly at her hand, trying to get her to sit next to him.

Nellie didn't move and took a shaky breath. "I asked you to say you loved me but you didn't, even though you didn't have to mean it. It's fine." She bit her inner cheek hoping he would accept her answer and just lay down.

His head pounded and he wondered if maybe this were all some terrible dream. Nothing felt real. "But I do."

Nellie's eyes widened and her heart skipped a beat as she held her breath. He couldn't be lying... he didn't have the energy to lie. "W-What?"

Sweeney grimaced as a bit of pain emerged in his arms. What a terrible nightmare. "I do. Isn't that obvious?"

Nellie could feel tears threatening to come out of her eyes as he spoke and she sat on the bed slowly. "I... I..."

He placed his hand in her lap softly, anchoring himself as a dizzy spell took over for a moment. "You couldn't tell? The scars... holding you at night... you couldn't tell?"

The tears built to a near breaking point and she put a hand over the one in her lap softly. "You really mean it?"

"I only scarred you... to prevent him from wanting... you." The words were spilling out of him now that he didn't have the strength to ebb them back into the corners of his mind and reality seemed to bend around him. "I guess... sometimes I still fear it... that's why I hold you so tightly... at night when we sleep."

Nellie smiled sadly listening to him. She had wondered if his tight embrace had to do with how he lost Lucy... everything was becoming clearer. "I love you, Sweeney..." She laid down beside him slowly, looking into his eyes, trying to encourage him to lay with her. Sweeney slid down onto his back slowly and attempted to pull Nellie closer to himself as he normally did.

"I know you do..."

She moved closer for him and snuggled into his embrace slowly, wary of both her stomach and his arms. "Say it..."

"The blood will stain your dress..." His voice was soft as he looked down at her.

"I don't care, I love you." Nellie snuggled closer against him, waiting to hear him say it.

"What did you want me to say?" Sweeney's confusion was genuine and Nellie put a hand on his chest softly. He really did a number on himself.

"That you love me..."

"It's a bit obvious... but alright... I love you..." It came out slowly but effortlessly in his dazed state and Nellie couldn't help but smile widely, the tears finally spilling over onto her cheeks. She moved her hand to his own cheek and stroked his face softly with her thumb. He turned his face towards her hand and kissed her palm. "I can't believe you couldn't tell..."

Nellie bit her lip. "You weren't so clear."

"The scars... holding you tightly... cooking... I wouldn't have done any of that if I didn't." He attempted to kiss her hair but stopped short as a painful dizzying overtook him. Nellie felt her heart skip another beat at the sincerity in his voice.

"Shh... it's okay. Just... you need to rest." She pushed him onto his back gently and kissed his forehead, trying to keep herself calm.

"Rest? I am resting." Sweeney protested against her hands on his shoulders but the dizziness and the pain was too much. Grudgingly he stayed on his back. Nellie smiled a bit watching him.

"Sweeney..." She sighed and lay her head down on his chest, draping her arm over his stomach like an anchor. He moved his own arm around her waist and tried to pull her closer to him.

"You care for me far too much, pet."

Nellie moved herself as close as she could be against him. "I care because I love you. I can't help it."

"I apologize if I hurt you more than I should have... I needed to ensure he could never take you from me... I won't lose the only woman and child I love twice..." Sweeney wondered when the maddening dream would end. He just wanted to wake up and leave the headache behind him.

Nellie looked back up at him and met his gaze lovingly. "You want the child?" Her voice was barely above a whisper and she felt a small twisting sensation in her womb, almost as if the baby understood what he said as well.

"Why wouldn't I by now?" It was true that as the months passed he had thought about that child more. He had never hated it... it was just unexpected and threw him off course. Sweeney blamed himself more than he blamed the baby. Still... as much as he tried to stem it, the affection he felt for it had grown. "You are terrible at picking up social cues."

Nellie gave a slight smirk and kissed his nose. She was grateful she hadn't had the chance to make him leave. She wished it had been a different way, but at least now he was here and he was being honest and he loved her.

"I mean really, really terrible. Absolutely horrible at it." Sweeney managed to land a kiss on her forehead at the cost of small pang of pain in his own head. Whatever sort of unconsciousness he was in, he wanted it to end, regardless of the pleasant undertones that came with talking to her in his dreams. Nellie laughed a bit and sighed happily as he kissed her forehead. When he was feeling better she would make him something to eat and clean his wounds again, for now she was just enjoying his unguarded affection.

"What's so funny? It's the truth." He coughed slightly as saliva caught in his throat and felt a hot sting come from the open slits in his arms. Grimacing, he looked at the blood soaking through his bandages. "Are you sure I did this to myself?"

Nellie nodded slowly, trying not to move too quickly for the sake of his headache. "Yes... you did..." She bit her lip, studying his confused expression and hoped that just his short term memory was going to be affected until he got the rest he needed. "Poor love... you know you scared me."

"You had tears on your cheeks." He looked back at her and noticed that her eyes were still puffy and a little red from the crying. "Were those from my cutting or something else?" Sweeney couldn't remember whether he had already asked her or not, his head was swimming and pounding and everything felt surreal.

Nellie bit her lip and looked away from his gaze. She didn't want to lie to him in case he remembered what had happened later but she wasn't thrilled to bring up the argument they had had. Especially when it didn't matter anymore. "You didn't want to say you love me... That made me upset, that's all..." She looked up and gave him a soft smile. "But it's okay now 'cause you love me, don't you?"

"Haven't I already said that?" He gave her his own soft smirk. "Your memory is as bad as my own."

Nellie smirked. "No... I just love hearing it from you."

"If it'll please you, pet... I love you." He sighed as he said it. Sweeney didn't particularly like to repeat himself, even in dreams, but he didn't have the strength or the desire to ruin the good mood she was in while he felt this way.

Nellie bit her lower lip, smiling widely, and kissed him. "Again."

"Has anyone ever told you you're very demanding?" Nellie giggled and he sighed again as the higher pitch of her laugh made the swirling in his head intensify. "Must I?"

"Is it that painful to say?" Her voice took on a teasing lilt. As much as she hated that he was in pain, it was a bit funny to see him this way; a bit childish and confused instead of strong and hard-headed.

"If I weren't dreaming, I wouldn't even say it in the first place," he reminded her. Even though they got along better in his lucid dreams, he could only repeat himself so much when he was aware of the pounding in his head. Nellie raised an eyebrow.

"It's not." As far as she was aware, he was confused but fully conscious... not dreaming.

"Don't be ridiculous."

She frowned, slowly starting to understand that he wasn't as aware as she was that he was fully conscious. "W-What?" It dawned on her that he didn't want her to know or possibly didn't even mean it when he had said that he loved her.

"I'm only dreaming... Whenever I'll wake up, you'll be gone again. The usual."

Nellie swallowed and sat up.

"What?" He frowned in confusion as she left his arms.

"Nothing." Nellie quickly recomposed herself and gave him a smile even though she could feel her heart dying.

"Don't lie." His voice took on a stern edge despite his condition and he kept his gaze on her as firmly as he could.

Nellie sighed and got out of bed, immediately compartmentalizing his condition and everything that happened as she tried to keep herself calm. "You need rest. You're leaving in a few hours to get the bloody judge." She walked out before her will resolved or he could protest.

Sweeney attempted to get up after her, still believing himself to be in a semiconscious state, and failed, falling to the floor heavily and successfully making himself completely unconscious. Nellie heard the crash and quickly came back into the room. When she saw him on the floor she felt a mixture of frustration, worry, hurt, love, and loneliness. Sighing, she walked over to him and tried to wake him up. When her efforts failed but she was reassured by his steady breathing and pulse, she called Toby to help her lift him back in to bed.

When he was settled, she sat on the edge of the bed and watched him for about half an hour. When he didn't wake she bit her lip and held back the tidal wave of worry she could already feel seeping through the barricade. She ran a gentle hand through his hair and kissed his forehead before leaving the room, starting to cry again softly as she thought about the mess she let herself get into because of love.