It was hours of only agony as Cragen held his phone shaking in his hands. He sat inside, trying to make his fingers type the number, the one number he needed to be connected to New York. His heart wanted to know, but his brain couldn't bring movement to his immobile fingers. The moment he heard a panicked voice on the other end, that of Nick's, it would become real. Everything would come down in a painful reality that it really was happening.
Every minute that passed, Cragen felt himself getting farther and farther from the place he needed to be. Eileen saw him when she tried to get him to eat something. She felt his lack of presence around her. He was somewhere else.
The ship docked in Spain at 1:30 that afternoon, announcing its arrival loudly with a burst of noise. Cragen had already packed his things as Eileen had. They couldn't take it all, but they took what they needed. They were the first at the doors of the exit ramp to get back on solid ground.
"Our flight leaves at 3:00." She whispered in his ear calmly.
The doors opened, letting them out to where they eventually walked into the bright day. Eileen took his arm and led him away from the group immediately. She hailed a cab at the first busy street they came across. Only five minutes after docking, they were close to arriving at the airport.
Nick carried the little girl quickly, but smoothly. He felt the cool object in her hand against his back - Olivia's badge. The nurse led them back through various hallways, weaving until they were out of the emergency wing. Then she opened a door for them.
"Are her parents here?" Nick asked quietly, holding Emily's head with his hand comfortingly.
The woman nodded. "I'll have them brought in. A nurse will check if she's ok and then CSU will be in for evidence collection."
She disappeared out the door as Nick set Emily gently down on the table in the room. Emily breathed fast, holding the badge in her right hand so hard her fingers turned a ghastly white.
"When your mom and dad get here, you think you can tell me everything that happened?" Nick asked her.
He didn't want to ask her. He wished she didn't have to relive everything that she'd gone through, everything she'd seen. Yet, in order to know, he had to ask. Emily swallowed. She nodded as she felt Olivia's presence on the badge.
Be brave.
The door opened again and Emily's eyes lit up.
"Mommy!" She reached her arms out as her mother and father entered the room looking disheveled, but relieved. Nick stepped back as they reunited.
"Oh Emily, baby, we were so worried about you." Lacy cried as she hugged her daughter.
"I'm so sorry, Emily." Greg stroked her cheek as tears ran down his own.
The door opened again, and a nurse came in. "I'm Jade." She introduced herself softly.
"I'm just going to take a look at Emily to see if she's ok. Alright?"
Emily let go of her mother and sat back as the nurse instructed her to. Lacy stepped back with Greg's arm around her. Nick made his move to begin digging up the truth.
"Emily. Did he take you straight to the big building after he left the school?" He sat down at her side.
"Please. Can't this wait." Lacy seemed distraught.
Nick looked up. "Ma'am, it's procedure. It will only take a minute." He replied.
Emily gave a nod to her parents.
"You can wait outside if you'd like." Nick suggested. Lacy looked at Greg, who stood uneasily. She watched him leave before she went to Emily's side, opposite Nick's place.
Brian was in the waiting room with Fin and Amanda, unable to do anything but breathe unsteadily.
In and out, he reminded himself as he took the breaths. His mind was collapsing. He was so tired he was about to fall over. Amanda noticed it. Fin did as well. Both paced nervously in the room. Amanda bit her nail shakily as she crossed her arm over her stomach. Fin bit his lip as they waited for any news.
"Brian. Brian why don't you go lie down." Amanda said as she found his gaze, unseeing.
He snapped back to look at her. "I can't."
His eyes were closing. No matter how fast his mind was going, he was able to sleep out of pure exhaustion.
"Come on." Fin extended a hand to Brian as he slumped against the back of his chair. Brian took it reluctantly and stood up, thankful he wasn't alone.
"Ma'am. Excuse me." Amanda caught a nurse's attention. "Is there anywhere he can lie down?" She finished.
Fin held Brian's arm firmly, helping him to stand. Brian couldn't hear what Amanda was saying. Everything in the world had been sucked into a vacuum of nothingness. The noises were spun and stretched and distorted as they reached his ears. The terror he felt could not outweigh the pure tiredness of his body and mind. He didn't feel his feet moving until they stopped again in a room dimly lit.
"Take a break. We'll come get you if anything happens." Fin patted his shoulder as Brian sat down weakly on the bed in the room. Amanda gave him a reassuring nod before letting him out of her sight and leaving him alone.
Munch sped all the way to Bellevue Emergency. When he arrived, he couldn't miss seeing the squad car and patrol car in the parking lot. It was becoming real. He parked a short jog from the doors that he was very familiar with, maybe even too familiar with. But all of the other times he'd been there, it hadn't been one of his own that had been injured. It felt different as he ran in through the automatic doors and scanned the place for a face he'd recognize.
Just as his eyes caught the door that went to the back area, the area no one waiting in the room could go, he saw the people he knew. Amanda and Fin, both looking horribly distraught and exhaust-stricken, exited the doorway. Amanda's hand was on the bridge of her nose, seemingly relieving a headache that pounded within her entire body. Fin had both hands in his pockets as his face radiated a look of worry. Munch picked up his feet again, meeting them in the middle of the floor.
"Is she -" he couldn't say it. The way they looked coming out of that door, he couldn't help but assume the worst.
"No." Fin shook his head. "She's in surgery."
Munch put his own hand to his mouth. "How bad?" Like everyone else was thinking, he didn't want to ask, but he had to know.
Amanda breathed deeply. "He stabbed her - twice." It hurt to say it. Maybe if they didn't it would all go away.
Munch couldn't move. He was surprised he was still standing.
"We don't know anything more."
They moved to one of the walls in the room. Munch's heart hurt as it beat in his chest. Olivia was always ok. That couldn't change, could it?
"And Lewis?" He gritted his teeth as he said the vile name.
Fin was proud to hear the words leave Amanda's mouth.
"Dead. Nick shot him down as he went for Liv." She set her jaw. "He'll never hurt her again."
Eileen and Cragen both were moving quickly. They got to the airport an hour and twenty minutes before their flight was slated to leave. The winding baggage check and security clearance only prolonged the great fear Cragen held in the pit of his stomach. When they had passed security, Eileen and Cragen both sat next to one another at the gate. She reached over slowly and took his hand in hers, only offering a sad smile.
"There's nothing we can do." She whispered. He had to hear those words. He had to know.
"What happens will happen - whether or not you're there." She lowered her voice even more. "None of this is your fault, Don. None of it."
Cragen's ears heard a small epiphany as Eileen's words broke through the barrier he held. It settled his stomach for a long moment as he sat staring into her eyes. He nodded to make sure she knew he'd heard. As hard as it felt, Cragen had to admit she was right. Lewis would have escaped whether or not he had been there. The police, the paramedics, the doctors and nurses had to be doing everything they normally would.
As the flights around them boarded, time seemed so slow down. They'd never get back in the time they wished. Cragen took out his phone, finally drawing up the courage to make the call.
Nick asked Emily what had happened when Olivia showed up. To his great fear, Emily had heard everything that had happened. She explained how Olivia had screamed after Lewis had left with the blowtorch. She had told him in maybe too great of detail how Olivia had been shaking when Lewis asked her to pick what kind of torture came next.
"He told her she had to pick. But she wouldn't say anything." Emily's voice trembled as she recalled the worst night of her life.
"When he told me to pick, I couldn't." She said.
Lacy held Emily's hand, hearing everything in horrifying detail. She had heard when Emily said she'd asked Olivia why she had come. She had heard when Emily said how Olivia replied with an answer that showed her heroism. She had come to save Emily. And she had succeeded at the cost of everything she had.
Nick tried not to let any of it in as he took the statement objectively. It was impossible. "What happened after that?"
Emily shook, even as her mother comforted her. The nurse continued to check Emily for any bodily injury. "He tied her to a pole and laid her down on a bed."
Nick's throat swelled up, preparing to hear it. It couldn't have happened. But even he had seen evidence of it. He had seen the way her belt wasn't in tact.
"But she stopped moving and he left her there. We waited for a long time for her to wake up." Emily seemed to be removing herself from the situation to avoid self destruction.
"It's ok, Emily." Lacy gave Emily's small hand a reassuring squeeze, prompting her to continue.
"Then, he made her drink stuff. But his phone rang, and he left." Emily remembered the darkness of the room when Olivia had asked her about the pins in her hair.
"Mommy, you helped us. You put pins in my hair."
Nick caught on as Lacy seemed confused. "Did she ask you for a pin?"
Emily nodded again. "She got free and then got me free, but she told me to hold still until she told me to run."
The pause only lasted long enough for Nick's shivering to return. What a heroic thing Olivia had done. She had to live to see what she'd achieved. She was the one who saved the little girl.
"When he came back-" Emily remembered the sounds coming from across the room with a wince. "- she hit him and I ran."
Those were the last words Nick drew out. "Emily. You're so brave."
Emily reached out for Nick's hand and dropped the badge into it. Nick wanted to cry. He couldn't say anything as he got up.
"I'll give it back to her." He managed to tell Emily. "You go home and rest."
The body lay on the operating table, the monitor blinking in a frenzy. The line that signified the amount of life within her was sporadic. She'd lost so much blood. Her lung was completely collapsed, filling with her source of life - the little amount of precious blood she had left. Her breathing was being done by someone else, filtering oxygen into the other lung that expanded lethargically.
The operation was going slowly as the complications continued to grow larger. Repairing her lung was taking too long. They were wasting time they didn't have. The line on the monitor slowed dramatically. Then, before a minute had passed, it stopped its moving. Her life was gone. The life within her had ceased.
"Paddles - now!" They abandoned their other task and focused on bringing life back into the heart that had stopped its beating.
The blood still streaked on Olivia's pale face. She didn't know she had died. She never would.