Ana's POV

To say that the last two weeks were stressful would have been an understatement. My Mom, Grace, Mia and Kate are helping me to organize everything for the wedding, but I feel like they have completely taken over and I'm merely saying yes or no to their ideas.

We went from 60 guests to 200 guests and finally at that point Christian called my mother and his mother and told them that this was enough and we would fly to Vegas if they would invite any more people. On the plus side, I have my dress, we have a color theme, we could get the best caterer in town and we worked out a menu. The invitations are out and so far the media has no idea that we are going to marry.

That's mostly due to the fact that Christian and his security team let anyone other than family who knows about the wedding sign an NDA. We will release a statement after the wedding, but we don't want the media haunting us on our wedding day. Though actually I don't think even with all the NDA's that this will work out.

My biggest fear is that Jenny will talk to the media. After what happened when Christian and I came to see my parents, my parents had a long talk with her. They said she was sorry. I don't believe it. She has them wrapped around her finger and I know at some point I will have to deal with her, but if I can help it, I want to do that after my honeymoon.

I also started to make plans for the kids' center I still want to open. At first I thought this would be an easy task. Now I know that it will most likely take a year or two to get all the permits I need, find a place that I can remodel to make it fit, for what I want to do and find enough staff.

Also, my lawyers told me that I couldn't pay it all on my own and should look out for sponsors. I told them that I would use all my money and wouldn't care how much I would have to pay, but they insist that this is not a good idea and Christian agreed that I should find some sponsors. So, this will be something I will do once we are back from our honeymoon.

Today, I had another fitting for my dress, I love it. Kate's mom had designed it for me and it is all I could wish for. Jeez, I remember last week, when Mia, Kate and I tried to find a dress in some boutiques.

Mia wanted me to buy this princess dress and I looked like the dress was trying to swallow me completely. Kate however wanted me to go for a tight white silk dress. I'm still blushing even thinking about it. It was so tight, that you could actually see the crack of my butt. There was no way I would have bought this dress. So, after I couldn't find anything, Kate's Mom offered to design a dress for me and I could tell her exactly what I want.

So, now after the fitting, physical therapy and deciding on the flower arrangements for the weddings I'm glad to be home. It's after 6 in the evening and I'm glad to find Christian in the great room. "Hi baby" he gives me a kiss and I lean against him. "Shoot me, please!" I whine and he laughs. "What happened?"

"Mia called me. She went on for an hour about us doing one of those crazy wedding dances. You know the ones where you start with a slow waltz and then change into dancing the gangnam style or thriller."

"What the fuck? Baby, there is no way in hell I'm doing that!" Christian sounds alarmed which makes me giggle. "That's what I told her, but she insisted that I would ask you."

"So, we agree we will do it the traditional way?"

"Yes, though we still need to pick a song. Have you made up your mind about the vows. If we want to write our own, we should probably have some time to think about what we really want to say."

"I looked through the list of vows your Mom compiled for us, but none of those really summed up everything I want to say to you. So, if you are ok with it, I want us to write our own vows."

"Yes, I like the idea. Do you want me to promise you to obey you?" I tease and he laughs.

"Baby, we both know you won't and I don't want you to lie in front of our family and friends."

I laugh. "Good. When will dinner be ready?"

"In about 30 minutes, are you hungry?"

"Yes, but I want to take a shower first and I thought, maybe you would like to join me."

"Now that is an offer I can't decline." and with that he throws me over his shoulder and starts to work towards our bedroom. I have to admit, I'm starting to like his caveman tendencies when it comes to him carrying me like this.

In the bathroom we undress quickly and he starts the shower. Yes, this is just what I needed. A hot shower and Christian's hands all over my body.

He is standing behind me, nibbling on my neck and massaging my breasts. That feels so good. I grind my behind into his growing erection and he groans.

"Damn baby, you have a perfect ass. One day soon, I'm going to fuck it." I freeze. Did he just say he wants to fuck my ass? Do I want this? And why would he want it?

"Hey relax." Christian turns me around so we are facing each other. "Ana, you don't have to do it, if you really don't want to. You know I would never do anything you don't want me to."

"I know, you just took me by surprise. I thought ... you know ... that you wouldn't want to do that." And I know the second those words are out of my mouth that I just made a huge mistake.

"Why would you say that?" his voice is so cold that I take a step back. Shit, what am I going to do? In the end I decide it is best to go for the truth.

"Because I know what happened to you, back when you still lived with your birth mother." He stares at me for a second, taking in what I've just told him and then he storms out of the shower, takes a towel and is out of the bathroom before I can even react.

Oh no, why didn't I think before I said that? I promised myself I wouldn't say anything about what that old bitch told me. I switch the shower off, grab a towel and leave the bathroom too. Christian is in the walk in closet, getting dressed and I can tell he is boiling with anger.

"Christian?"

"Leave me the fuck alone!"

"Christian please, I'm sorry. I didn't think and..."

"I said leave me the fuck alone!" he shouts so loud that I flinch. "Please, talk to me."

"You want to talk? Really Ana? I trusted you. I told you I would tell you what happened before I was adopted once I'm ready, but you couldn't wait, now could you? Instead, you had to go behind my back and get the information you wanted from one of my family members. You know what? I'm done with this shit!" and with that he grabs his jacket and storms out of the walk in.

Oh my god, is he breaking up with me? I follow him, but he is so fast that he is already in the elevator when I finally catch up with him.

"Christian, please don't go. It is not what you think." He just stares at me until the doors close and there is nothing but fury in his eyes. It's like he just morphed back into the man he was when we first. When the doors are fully closed I sink to the floor and start to cry.

"Ana, what happened?" I look up and see Luke standing next to me. "Christian is really mad at me Luke. Could you please ask Taylor to follow him, I'm afraid he is going to get drunk and he is too angry to drive" I manage to tell him through my sobs and he nods and leaves.

"Ana, you should get dressed, your hair is wet and you are going to catch a cold like this." I hear Gail's soft voice and turn around. "Do you think he will leave me Gail?" She crouches down next to me and takes my hand. "Ana, Mister Grey loves you very much, but he is a hot head. Give him some time to calm down. He will be back in a while and then you can talk to him. Now, come get dressed, dinner is ready do you want to eat?"

"No, sorry Gail, but I can't face food right now. Maybe a glass of wine."

"Good, I'll get you a glass of wine, white?"

"Yes, please." She gives me a hand so I can get up and I walk into the bedroom. It's like even after her death, Elena is still evil and has the power to come between us. I sit down on the bed for a while and just stare out of the floor to ceiling windows. I hope Taylor found Christian. He was so angry, I fear he will have an accident if he drives like this.

If I would just have kept my mouth shut, we would have had sex in the shower, had dinner together and maybe started to write our vows. Now I'm not even sure if we still need them. He said he was done with this shit. Was he talking about us? Is he going to kick me out?

Oh God, please no. I can't imagine my life without Christian. I know we only know each other for almost five months, but its like I finally found my soul mate. He is more than just my fiancé, he is my best friend and the one person I can trust completely. I can tell him every thing that is going through in my mind, without having the fear that he thinks I'm crazy. I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

No, I can't think like this. He can't just throw everything we have away. He has to listen to me. I will wait until he is home and then I'm going to tell him how I found out about his past.

I get up from the bed, towel dry my hair and dress in one of his t-shirts and yoga pants. Once I'm ready I head back into the great room, take the glass of wine Gail has fixed for me and sit down on the sofa.

Maybe I should call him, but what if that only makes him angrier than he already is? No, I need to give him time to cool off. So, I just sit and wait. After my second glass of wine I feel a little light-headed and switch to water. I can't get drunk now, I need a clear head when Christian returns, so we can talk this out.

After 2 hours my phone rings and I pick it up without looking, hoping that it is Christian.

"Christian?"

"Ana, it's Grace. Christian was here, he was so angry, asked us who told you and left when we told him we didn't. Ana who told you about his past?"

"It's was Elena. When she held me hostage in that cabin I asked her if his birth mother was lurking somewhere and she told me that she is dead, and how it was for the best because of what she did to him. She realized that I had no idea and told me what happened to him."
"Oh dear, why didn't you tell him?"

"When he told me what Elena did to him, he told me he wasn't ready to talk about his life before he became a Grey. I just wanted to wait until he was ready and today I just didn't think before I started to talk. Grace, he was so angry, I think he is breaking up with me." and that's my undoing and I start to cry again.

"Darling, don't cry, please. Christian is angry, but he loves you. He told us over and over again that you are the best thing that ever happened to him, other than us adopting him. He is not going to lose you over this Ana. Just give him some time and then explain to him what happened. You two can work this out."

"I don't know. I'm just so scared Grace, I can't live without him. I wish I would have said nothing."

"What did you say Ana?"

"I umm..." oh that's just to awkward. I can't tell her. "Umm, it doesn't matter."

"Ana, you can tell me." Grace insists and I sigh. "Umm, we were having a shower and umm ... he and I ... were making out and ..."

"Ok, ok, I get it. You don't have to tell me. Just send me a text when he is home safe."

"Of course. Grace are you sure he will calm down?"

"Yes, darling don't worry. Christian gets angry very easy, but most of the times he calms down just as easy. Now stop to cry Ana, you don't have to fear anything. You two will be just fine. If you need me call me. I will wait for your text."

"Ok, bye Grace and thanks." I hang up and cry a little more. I would love to talk to Jose or Kate, but Kate would only get mad and Jose is in L.A. to audition as pro for the next season of 'Dancing With The Stars' and I don't won't him to worry about me when he is thousands of miles away.

So, I just wait ... and wait ... and wait. I'm just about to call Taylor to find out where Christian is when I hear the ping of the elevator. I have to stop myself from running to the elevator and walk there in a normal pace, but when I finally see him I'm shocked. He is completely drunk and Taylor is trying to maneuver him somehow out of the elevator.

"Christian?"

"Ahhhh you! Annnnnaaaaaaa" he slurs and starts to snicker. "Where were you?"

"Bar with Lelliot. We had whisky ... a lot ... whisky."

"Ok, let's get you into bed. Taylor, would you mind bringing him to the bedroom, I don't think I will be able to get him there alo...EWWWWW!" I try to jump out of the way when Christian starts to gag, but he starts to vomit with such force that it not only splatters all over the marble floor of the vestibule, but also on my bare feet.

"Sorry" he mumbles and I sigh. "It's ok, come you need to go to bed and we need to get you out of your clothes."

"Only if you get naked too" he gives me a drunken grin that makes me snort. "Bed, now!"

Taylor helps me to get Christian into the bathroom and stays with him while I go quickly into the bathroom to wash my feet. Once I'm back I thank Taylor and tell him that I will clean the vestibule once Christian is asleep, but he assures me that Gail will do it and leaves.

"Ok, let's get you out of your clothes." I mutter and walk over to Christian who is sitting on the edge of the bed trying to balance himself.

"I want to undress you!"

"Christian, you are drunk, you need to sleep and we need to talk about what happened tonight, but not now." I get him out of his jacket and remove his shirt, belt and socks, while he is just watching me.

"Good, you can lie down now." he does and I open his pants. "Can you lift your butt a little?" again he does and I pull his pants down and put all his clothes in the hamper in the bathroom.

"I'm going to get you a glass of water and some advil. If you take them now you won't feel so shitty tomorrow."

"Do you still love me Ana?" I'm startled by his question and look at him. "Christian, I will always love you. Just don't walk out on me like that again, I thought you would break up with me."

"Never" his answer makes me smile and I hurry to get him the water and the advil, because I don't think he can stay awake much longer and I really want him to take those pills now.

As predicted not even two minutes after I returned with the advil and water Christian is sound asleep and I sigh. I hope we can talk this out tomorrow. I don't want to fight with Christian, I just want us to be happy.

While he is sleeping, I change into my pj's and send a quick text to Grace that Christian is home before I go to bed as well. Let's hope that tomorrow is a better day.

The next morning I wake up at 7 am. Christian is still asleep and I decide to let him sleep. It's saturday so he can sleep in. I take a shower, get ready for the day and make my breakfast, since Gail and Taylor have their day of today.

After breakfast I take a glass of orange juice and two more advils and place them on the nightstand for Christian, so he can take them right after he is awake and return to the great room where I call Kate to go over some of the details for the wedding.

An hour later we hang up and I'm just about to check on Christian when he comes out of the bedroom. His hair is still wet from a shower, but he is completely dressed.

"Good morning. How are you feeling today?" he walks straight past me and doesn't even look at me. Great he is still pissed. I watch him go into his study and think about what to do. Oh hell, let's just get over with it.

So, I walk over to his study knock and open the door. "Christian we need to talk."

He looks up at me in the most chilling way and I actually take a step back when he walks over to me. "Hey, what are you doing?" I squeal when he grabs me by the hips, lifts me up and puts me down outside of his study, but I don't get an answer, because he goes back, shuts the door and locks it.

Did he really just do that? Fuck, now I'm mad too, but I stop myself from banging against the door until he unlocks it and instead decide to take a walk to calm down. Prescott and O'Donnell are following me like always, but Luke is staying at Escala, since he has to fill in for Taylor on his day off.

After 30 minutes my knee starts to hurt so I get into a coffee shop and sit down in one of the huge armchairs with my vanilla latte. O'Donnell is standing outside the shop watching the street while Prescott is sitting in an armchair facing me.

"Prescott, why are man so damn complicated?" I ask in frustration. "Not sure Miss Steele, most them should come with a manual so you can beat them with it if they act like dicks." she says and looks completely embarrassed that she just talked completely out of her character and for the first time today I have to smile.

"That would be great, though I suspect a manual for Christian would be to thick to even lift that damn thing, if I wanted to beat him with it."

"Umm, well..."

"It's ok Prescott, I won't tell anyone that we had a little girls time. Please I need someone to talk." I beg and she sighs.

"I really don't know Mister Grey. He hasn't said more than three words to me. So I can only talk about man in general. Most of them, even if the think the are grown up, they are not. So, if you think he behaves in a way that is not acceptable, it is your job to tell him."

"Yeah, provided he wouldn't give me a silent treatment" I mutter under my breath.

"Maybe he just needs time to cool off. Give him a day. After that I would do something about it. I know it's annoying, but if you force him to talk now, it most likely will make things just worse."

"Ok, I'll try."

Back home Christian has left to go to Grey House and when he hasn't come back at 10 in the evening I decide to text him.

*Are you coming home tonight? I miss you. Ana.*

I wait for an answer and just when I'm about to give up I receive a text from Christian.

*Still at Grey House. Working late. C.*

Well, at least he answered my text. I decide to wait in bed. Maybe he will listen to me when he is back home. I really try to stay awake once I'm in bed, but doze off after a couple of minute.

I wake up, when I hear the bathroom door close and look up. Christian has clothes and his toiletry bag and is about to leave the bedroom. Great now he doesn't even want to share a bed with me.

"I can sleep upstairs in the guest room, after all this is your bedroom." I mutter bleakly. He stops at the door for a second, but doesn't turn around and then he leaves the bedroom. I just stare at the door for a couple of seconds and fight the tears that are running down my cheeks.

Why can't he just talk about this? I don't know how to deal with this. I'll take anger over this behavior any day. And so, I cry myself to sleep, hoping that on sunday he will talk to me.

It is Tuesday and I haven't seen Christian since Saturday evening. He leaves before I wake up and returns before when I'm already in bed. I tried to wait for him yesterday, but after midnight I gave up. I suspect he calls Luke to ask if I'm still awake and only returns once he has the all clear that I'm in bed. I can't do this anymore. I thought about going to Grey House and demanding to see him, but making a scene at his office might be not a good idea.

I can't believe this is happening. We are supposed to marry saturday after next and we are not even talking. This all doesn't make any sense. Maybe he is just waiting for me to leave, because he doesn't want to be the one who ended it. I hope not, but with every passing minute that he doesn't talk to me it seems more and more likely.

I have cried so much over the last couple of days, I feel drained. I need to know if we are still going to get married, but now I don't even get answers to my texts and if I call him he doesn't answer his phone. I decide I will give him one more day and then I have to do something. So I wait for him to come home again and again he doesn't come as long as I am awake. I want to stay up all night just to see what will happen then, but I am too tired to do so.

On Wednesday I give up. This is getting us nowhere. I think about this for a long while, but if this is what he wants then I have to do this.

I walk to the security office and find Luke. "Hi Luke, I need somethings from my apartment. I just have to get the keys, I will be back in 30 minutes."

"Ok, do you need help Ana?"

"No, I'll be fine. I'm just going through all my dance dresses, I want to sell them online and give the money to charity." he nods and I get back into the bedroom, take my little notepad and a pen from my nightstand and write a quick note for Christian.

I'm sorry, I can't live like this any longer.

Forgive me, I love you.

Ana

I leave the note on his pillow, take my engagement ring of and place it on the note. Next I get my keys, phone and wallet and leave the penthouse. In the elevator I call Grace to tell her that the wedding is off and then I switch my phone off, this is it. I really did it, I have left the person I love the most.

Next chapter will be up on Tuesday. Until then, please leave me a review :)

Sunny