Chapter Eighteen: Together Again
Three weeks had passed since the night of the birth and both baker and barber found themselves stretched thin. Caring for an infant and two businesses was more work than either had imagined it to be and a light tension held throughout the household. For the most part, Sweeney had managed to keep Toby away from the baby as Helena spent her days in the quiet atmosphere of his shop. Having Helena in his shop was also an advantage to Nellie as it offered her more privacy when Helena needed to be fed. Though she knew that he had originally suggested the idea to keep Toby away, she let it slide to keep the peace.
To both of their reliefs, Helena had seemed to thrive in the time since she had been born. Her cries were stronger now and Nellie could even hear her down in the pie shop from his parlor. Between the two lovers, things had even seemed to mend somewhat. Sweeney had returned to sleeping in her bed every night and he made no advances towards her. Instead he would come into bed exhausted and hold her back to his chest until she slept. How much he himself managed to sleep, she didn't really know. The rings beneath his eyes had deepened and if he could care for Helena during the night, he would. His appetite, though as poor as it always had been, had at least returned to normal and she could see that he regained the weight lost from his travel. She speculated that he spent most of the night actually out of bed pacing the room or strengthening his muscles as his former definition returned.
At the end of a particularly long day for the both of them, Sweeney had carried the baby down to their bedroom. He placed her in her cradle before stripping himself of his shirt and stretching his sore muscles. Nellie had been weak from the birth and though after the first week she was able to return to work, she was in no fit condition to dispose of the bodies from his shop. During his breaks as she fed the baby, he would go into the basement and do what he could to dismember them and clean the mess. Once he he finished relaxing his muscles as best as he could, he sat on the bed and took off his boots. With a sigh, he lay back on the sheets and waited for her to finish cleaning up the pie shop and feeding the boy.
Nellie herself felt exhausted at the end of the day. Her back had taken on a permanent soreness after she went back to work and her hips burned by the end of the day. Her wounds from the birth had healed for the most part, but long hours of movement still caused her to feel as though the birth itself had happened on a day or so ago. Still, her heart fluttered at the reminder that she would be alone with him again soon. He had stayed so calm for her and though there was still an unresolved tension surrounding the situation with Toby, she had really appreciated the gentle nature that he kept with her.
When she finished her duties in the shop, she kissed Toby goodnight and entered their bedroom with a sigh. "I'm so tired…" She gave him a soft pout as he turned his head to look at her and made her way to the bed.
He sat up in the bed as she spoke and pulled her down into his lap when she reached him, pressing a quick kiss to her lips. "You work yourself too hard, pet."
Nellie could feel the sweat on the skin of his chest and knew that he had been in the basement after his shop had closed. She had appreciated the help he gave her, and she knew that he meant it when he told her she worked too much, but a part of her always felt guilty that he had to take on so much extra work for an idea that was originally her own. She gave him a soft smile and returned the fleeting kiss before gazing into his eyes. The circles beneath them were deep and the hardness in his gaze had softened with the pure exhaustion that she could see beneath them. "I've got a surprise for you…" She spoke softly, raising an eyebrow as she finished and giving him a soft smirk.
Sweeney raised an eyebrow back at her, not expecting a gift with the limited money that they had after the birth. "And what would that be?"
Nellie got up from his lap, smiling softly. "Turn."
Sweeney rolled his eyes and turned away from her. Nellie knew that he wasn't truly annoyed with her but she still felt a twinge of uncertainty about what she was going to do. Shaking it off, she began to take off her dress slowly so that he would not hear the fabric moving. As it fell to the ground she took one last look over her body. Her stomach had lost a lot of the swelling though it still puffed slightly more than her old figure. The pregnancy had drawn light, white stretch marks on the edges of her hips, though the red and black lace of her lingerie covered most of the damage. Still, she was close to where she had been and she felt ready now for him to try again.
"Alright!" Nellie called out to him, nerves and excitement tingling throughout her body.
Sweeney pretended not to hear her, not expecting much from her but a trinket of some sort. He crossed his arms and glanced around at the side of the room that he was facing. Nellie sighed heavily, feeling the momentum of the moment passing.
"Sweeney!"
"Did you say something? I couldn't hear you." He spoke without turning and cupped his ear with his hand.
Disappointed that he couldn't play along for once, Nellie bit her inner cheek. "Alright." She hesitated before walking around the room to stand in front of him. "Nevermind then." Nellie let him look at her for a moment before walking back around the bed and taking her dressing gown from the back of her vanity chair as she made her way to the door.
Sighing, Sweeney stood and walked after her, taking her hand gently. "I was only teasing. I didn't know that you had dressed up… I thought that you had gotten me a present or something…" As he spoke he stole glances at her body. He hadn't seen her undressed since their failed attempt to be intimate three weeks ago. He could tell that a lot of the weight had dropped from her figure and he could see the edges of her stretchmarks on her hips. Her skin had remained smooth, however, where the marks were not present and he felt a strong desire to strip the rest of the clothes away to see every last inch of her that he had missed.
"Well…" Nellie took his hands in her own and moved them to rest over her ass, looking up into his eyes. "I think this is a beautiful present… just for you. And maybe a bit for me." Nellie shrugged softly, smirking as she saw the desire in his eyes and feeling her confidence start to return.
"It is a very beautiful present." He returned her smirk and gave her a soft kiss, squeezing her ass in his hands and pulling her closer towards him.
Nellie met the kiss eagerly, feeling her body tingle with excitement as he touched her. Her arms wrapped themselves around his neck and she felt a strong sense of contentment fill her as her body pressed against his. Sweeney pulled himself away from her and she felt a twinge disappointment until his hands found her waist.
"Are you quite sure that you're ready, darling?" As he spoke, he pushed a curl away from her face gently. Nellie could hear the concern in his voice and she felt a surge of love for him fill her heart.
Nellie bit her lip and pushed her own fear of the coming moments aside, giving him a soft nod. "Yeah…"
Without another word, Sweeney took her by the waist and carried her in his arms over to the bed, laying her down on her back gently before moving himself over her. Nellie gave him a soft smile, her heart pounding against her chest as she met his gaze once more. She watched as his lips turned upwards into a smirk before he pressed them against her neck, kissing the soft skin. Nellie could feel an intense longing forming between her legs for the first time in months and she felt the desperate need to move her hips or touch herself, holding back from doing so in anticipation of his exploration of her body. His hand made its way to her cleavage and Nellie felt herself shiver with desire at his touch.
Nellie closed her eyes and let out a soft sigh, wanting to encourage him to continue. His hand trailed down her side leaving a tingling sensation everywhere his fingertips met her skin. When they reached her hips she felt him pull at the waistband of her bloomers and her hips rose against his touch automatically. His kisses made their way from her neck to her ear, his teeth nibbling softly at her earlobe.
"I love you…" She felt his whisper caress her skin and another spine tingling chill ran the length of her body, ending in the pulsing excitement between her thighs. She gave him an encouraging moan, smiling at him as her eyes remained closed.
"I love you too…" Her words were soft and he could hear a hint of breathlessness in them.
His hand reached beneath the waistband of her bloomers, feeling that she had already begun to soak through the fabric. His fingertips found her clit and Nellie's body jolted at the cold touch before eagerly letting them meet again. He began to rub her clit gently, watching her face for hints of pain.
"Tell me if it hurts…"
Nellie moaned as he caressed her clit and thought of the long nights where he had pleasured her with his fingers so well that she had actually rocked her hips against his hands as her orgasms came down hard on her. A part of her was worried that he would be too intense on her, but for now, all she felt was a tingling, indescribable pleasure at his touch.
"Well, for now it doesn't hurt at all…" She smirked as she spoke, remembering how much she had missed him sexually while he was away.
Sweeney kissed her lips lightly when she finished speaking, feeling himself grow hard from her moans and the wetness he could feel covering his fingertips. He moved a finger into her gently and slowly, pumping it softly as he watched her features.
Nellie felt his finger enter her and she moaned louder for him, not wanting him to be afraid, and arched her back to allow it in deeper.
"Shhh…" She felt his breath on her lips. "You'll wake her…" As he spoke he added a second finger into her, moving both slightly faster though still remaining gentle. Nellie bit her lip as he added a second finger, surprised that she felt no pain, and held in a genuine moan. If Helena woke up, it might be a complete end to everything and her body ached with desire for him.
Sweeney added a third and final finger into her, watching her face closer as he did. Nellie clutched the sheets, moaning softly for him. She could feel a slight sensitivity but it wasn't painful or unbearable. Her hands clutched the sheets at her sides and she focused on the smooth, incredible feeling of his fingers inside of her, sliding against her skin. Smirking, Sweeney pulled his fingers out slowly and Nellie felt her thighs twitch at the withdrawal. His hands pulled her bloomers down completely and the rush of air against her skin and her wetness made her shiver. She opened her eyes to watch as he moved himself between her thighs, moving back on the bed so that his head rested right in front of her. Her heart stammered in quick beats as she felt a strong excitement fill her. She remembered the smooth feeling of tongue on her clit and in her body and she felt a fresh gush of wetness reach her thighs.
His tongue licked across her opening and Nellie's back arched without her control and her hips lifted to meet his tongue. She let out a soft gasp as his tongue began to circle around her clit and she let out a load, untethered moan as he licked her with his smooth, wet tongue.
"Shh…" He reminded her and his breath on her clit made her shiver with anticipation. Before she could answer, his tongue had delved into her and her hands clutched at the sheets tightly. Her breath hitched in her throat and her eyes rolled as he began to stroke her clit with his thumb as his tongue explored her, lapping at her wetness. In all honesty she had forgotten just how skilled he was at pleasuring her and she worried for a moment that he might play with her all night without giving her what she really wanted: him.
"Yes…" She moaned breathlessly for him, wanting to push on his head to get as much of him as she could inside of her.
Sweeney pulled away from her again and she felt a desperation pour inside of her as she watched him begin to quickly fumble with his laces. The pressure in his pants had built up as his erection grew and the restraint was beginning to make him uncomfortable.
"Don't stop." Nellie bit her lip as she watched him. She had begun to feel as though he was bringing her close to her climax and her body trembled with his absence.
Sweeney leaned forward and kissed her as he worked on his pants. When he managed to get his erection loose he moved back between her legs quickly and began to guide himself into her slowly and gently, sighing in pleasure as he felt her wet, warm pussy close around him. He felt himself shudder in pleasure at the sensation and he looked back into her eyes with lust as she moaned. Nellie herself felt a twinge of pain as he entered her, the thickness of his cock nothing compared to his fingers. For a second, she worried that she might tear but an overwhelming wave of pleasure hit her as the tip of his cock brushed against the sensitive spot inside of her. Her eyes closed from the sensation of it all.
Sweeney began to thrust against her gently, keeping his pace slow and stable for her as he placed a stream of kisses by her ear. Nellie felt herself fill with contentment and pleasure as she felt him pressed against her, his cock completely inside of her and his body rubbing against her clit. Sweeney himself was overcome with forgotten pleasure, his body urging to go faster as he felt her tight around him.
"God, Nell…" His words were husky and full of desire as he spoke into her ear softly, sending shivers down Nellie's spine. "I'd forgotten how good this felt with you…" All pain had faded as he kept up his gentle pace and Nellie gave him a soft smirk, resting a hand in his hair as her other arm held onto him, wanting him as close as possible. Sweeney began to thrust his hips faster and harder in small increments with each pump, whispering to her softly. "Fuck, Eleanor… I love you…"
Nellie ignored his name choice and held him closer, moaning loudly as her pleasure intensified, though a little pain had returned. She turned his head towards her and kissed him, needing to feel his lips on hers. "I love you too…"
Sweeney kissed her again, deepening it and biting her lower lip gently as he picked up the pace, the pleasure building inside of him as the tightness of her pussy rubbed against his cock. Nellie arched her back completely, her stomach pressing against his abs, feeling herself reaching closer towards her climax. Sweeney began to thrust as quickly as he could, his own climax eminent as he felt her tighten around him. With one final, hard thrust, he released his cum inside of her as she climaxed around him. Nellie let out a loud, carnal moan as she felt his cum pool inside of her.
"Sweeney…" She looked into his eyes, her heart pounding. He had moaned her name when he came and Nellie felt her love for him flooding her chest. She gave a soft sigh as she felt him pull out of her slowly and she could feel every inch of his cock as it left. He kissed her softly as he pulled out, hearing the baby begin to cry. He gave her a soft smirk as he finished.
"I told you…" He teased her softly, his breath evening as he watched the aftermath of pleasure on her features. Her breath was still ragged and short and he could see the total relaxation on her face.
"Get your ass up and calm her. You killed me." Nellie closed her eyes, trying to calm her breath.
Sweeney smirked and put a hand in her hair gently. "You woke her up with your moaning." He took a moment to look at her, feeling a strong sense of love for her that he would normally be trying to suppress. He kissed her nose before pulling away from her softly and pulling up his pants. Lacing them back into place, he got up from the bed and walked to the cradle, taking Helena into his arms. He smirked at the infant softly, kissing her forehead. "Besides, I can't exactly care for her in this situation, anyway. Regardless of how tired mummy is."
Nellie rolled her eyes and sit up slowly, her breath still hitched and her body still recovering from him. She could feel some of his cum mixed with her own drip onto her thighs and she smirked at the sight of him with their child. This was everything that she had wanted for so long, all other problems aside. Sweeney sat next to her on the bed with the baby and unlaced her corset with his free hand for her, pulling it away from her body and handing her the baby.
"It's not my fault that she's hungry. You woke her up in the first place. She would have slept another hour." Sweeney kissed her shoulder and watched as Helena began to suckle at Nellie's breasts, calming in her arms.
Nellie watched Helena lovingly as she began to eat and stroked her cheek gently. "You wanted to fuck me - I just said that I was ready. You made me moan and now I'm tired. It's your fault, love, really." Sweeney smirked as she teased him.
"Ah, but you're the one who came in, undressed herself and presented herself to me as a gift." His words were playful and Nellie smirked softly, feeling content and secure. When she didn't answer him he smirked again. "Does that mean I've won?" He kissed her neck and Nellie smirked, rolling her eyes.
"Mhmm… maybe…"
"Just maybe?" He began to suck lightly on her neck and Nellie let out a soft sigh.
"You're such a tease…"
"Is she finished eating? Perhaps I haven't finished with you yet, pet…" His words were a whisper against the skin of her neck and Nellie felt herself shiver again. She smirked and turned her gaze back to Helena whose eyes had already closed again though her mouth still sucked.
"Are you done, love?" She asked her softly, watching as Helena began to slowly stop suckling. "Mummy and daddy would like to fuck again." Sweeney laughed against her shoulder as she said that and Nellie felt her heart jump. He never laughed and it melted her when he did.
"You'll never be one of those mothers who gossips with the other ones. They're all cringing in fear of you." He kissed her cheek when he finished and Nellie smirked softly.
"Ah, well… I take that as a compliment." Nellie got up slowly and carried Helena, still on her breast, to the cradle, detaching her slowly so as not to wake her, and letting her suck on her finger until she could place the cloth in her mouth. Sweeney watched as she put the baby down.
"Perhaps we should let her sleep and go up to my parlor. You can moan all you like there." He smirked and stood up from the bed, walking to her and wrapping his arms around her waist from behind, holding her against him.
"Mmmm… so mummy and daddy can fuck in peace…" Nellie turned her head up to face him, smiling at him sweetly and innocently. "Alright. Let's do this." She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. Sweeney smirked at her softly and let go of her waist to take her hand.
Exiting the bedroom, they crept past a sleeping Toby in the parlor and headed up the stairs to his tonsorial parlor. Nellie followed him the whole way with a smile on her face, feeling the most secure and happy that she had been in months. Sweeney locked the door behind them and unlaced his pants again before pulling her close against him. Nellie could already feel his erection against her stomach and she felt a mixture of pride and excitement.
Nellie smirked and wrapped her arms around him. "Our poor neighbors…"
"Fuck them." As he spoke he began to walk them towards the chair, sitting down and pulling her onto his lap.
Nellie pouted and shook her head. "No, no, no… fuck me…" She smirked and kissed him again, feeling her wetness return. Sweeney raised an eyebrow and scoffed at her offhandedness.
"I believe that I've been pretty giving tonight, pet." He smirked and brought her hand to his erection. Nellie rolled her eyes and gave him a gentle squeeze with her hand.
"Daddy needs love too." Sweeney kept up his smirk, looking in her eyes as her small hand squeezed his cock. Nellie laughed, loving how open he was being with her, and got on her knees slowly. "You're a very naughty woman." Sweeney gave a soft groan as she squeezed him again softly.
Nellie smirked and gave him a wink. "I know."
Sweeney watched her with a smirk. "I want to see that pretty little face all covered in white…"
Nellie's smirk widened and she felt herself get wetter as he got more playful. "It would be a pleasure."
"Then get going, love."
Nellie took him into her mouth deeply at his command and Sweeney growled harshly, his eyes closing as her little tongue moved over his shaft and her lips surrounded him. She began to pump him with her hands beneath her mouth slowly, moaning against his cock as she sucked. As he growled she moved her hands harder, sucking with more strength. Her eyes raised to meet his as they opened again and he smirked down at her, feeling more pleasure as his tip rubbed against the roof of her mouth.
Nellie continued to go harder on him, taking him as deep into her mouth as she could and holding him in as long as possible without gagging. Sweeney groaned freely, making Nellie feel wetter and more desperate to have him come so she could sit on his thick, aching cock. She began to stroke his balls gently as she sucked and she knew he was close to climax when he began to thrust as she caressed him. A sense of relief came over her as he pulled her by the hair away from his cock and she closed her eyes as he came, his cum covering her face.
"Fuck, Nell…" She heard him groan as he let his cum go onto her face and she smirked, feeling proud of herself, and she pulled away from him gently when he was finished, opening her eyes and licking the drops of cum away that had landed on her lips.
Sweeney smirked looking down at her, his cum on her pale skin and the satisfied smirk on her lips. He pulled her up from her knees and back into his lap and Nellie could feel herself pulsing with desire as she was within reach of his fingers and cock. Sweeney couldn't help but laugh as he noticed a bit of his cum in her hair. "You've got it in your hair."
Nellie laughed with him and looked down at his chest, admiring his muscles as they began to get a little sheen from the activity. Smirking, Sweeney kissed her lips and held her close against his chest. "I've missed this."
Nellie smiled and snuggled against his embrace. "Me too…" She whispered softly, content in his arms to wait until his erection returned.
He cupped her cheek with his hand and began to rub the semen away gently, wiping it onto the cloth nearby. "Lucy would never have allowed me."
Nellie bit her inner cheek as he mentioned Lucy's name, feeling anxiety bubble inside of her and instant hurt permeate the mood. "Well… You should be happy that I'm really different from her then."
Sweeney frowned before brushing off her comment. "I do love you more than the sex, pet."
Nellie looked up, sighing heavily, waiting to hear the rest of his excuse for mentioning Lucy,
"You don't believe me?" As he spoke, he rubbed her cheek with his thumb and Nellie felt genuinely annoyed, rolling her eyes at him.
"'Course I do."
"I'm sorry…" Sweeney gave a soft sigh, realizing that it had been a mistake even if he had meant it jokingly. He traced her lips with his thumb, trying to bring her good mood back.
Nellie sighed, knowing she was taking it too personally. "I know." He kissed her softly and held her close against him. Nellie sighed heavily against his chest. "Just stop with… Lucy…"
Sweeney sighed and stroked the hair from her face. "Lucy is dead… why does speaking of her bother you so much? I can't leave her for you, can I?"
Nellie bit her inner cheek and looked away from him, her heart starting to race again as she thought about Lucy somewhere out in the alley. He could leave Nellie for her… if he knew. "Mmm…" She hummed to him softly, regretting ever opening her mouth.
"Nellie… Talk with me…" Sweeney tilted her head to look at him, confused as to why she was so upset.
Nellie gave an annoyed sigh, wanting to leave. "She's not even here and she still annoys me."
Sweeney sighed and moved his hand to her waist. "You can't expect me never to mention her, pet… She was my wife and I loved her very much. It's the same as never asking you to think of Benjamin."
"That's not the same thing. At all."
Sweeney closed his eyes and held back his growing annoyance with her. "Is it not enough that I love you? Is it not enough that she is dead? You're jealous of a ghost!"
Nellie bit her inner cheek, trying to brush away the thoughts of Lucy living a life that Nellie herself knew all too well. "I loved Benjamin. I'm in love with Sweeney. That's the difference. I won't mention Benjamin again; you're not him."
"Pet… I'm not saying that I'm in love with her ghost, I'm saying that I will always love her in a way. Not more than you, not equal to you, but you can't ask me to fall out of love with her memory." He spoke quietly, trying to remain calm for her.
Nellie frowned sadly, thinking about what would happen if he realized the truth. "That's not fair."
"She gave me a child… You can't expect me to stop loving her after that. What would you have done had I died? Stop loving me and forget where Helena came from?"
"Alright, I'm tired." Nellie got up, refusing to look at him, biting her inner cheek.
"Nellie…" Sweeney spoke quietly, standing up and pulling his pants back into place. "Come here."
Nellie sighed, trying to clear her guilty conscience. "No. It's okay. No need to 'talk.'"
"Just come here you stubborn woman." Sweeney finished lacing his pants and held his arms out to her.
Nellie sighed and looked at him for a moment, hesitating before snuggling into his embrace, feeling guilty as she heard his heartbeat. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and kissed the top of her head.
"What's important is that I love you now. Remember that." Nellie sighed against his chest and gave a soft nod. "I didn't mean to upset you…" He kissed her cheek and Nellie felt nothing but guilt flood into her heart. She rolled her eyes and forced a soft smile.
"I know…"
"You're terrible at hiding how you feel, you know that right?" He gave her a slight smirk, tilting her head up to look at him. "What do you need me to do to right this, hmmm?"
Nellie sighed heavily. "Well, 'sorry.'"
"I'm sorry that I mentioned Lucy." Sweeney placed a kiss on the top of her head, not comforting Nellie at all. Nellie raised an eyebrow, trying to maintain her composure.
"Yeah. You better be sorry."
Sweeney sighed and rested his forehead against her head. "You're such a sensitive thing, you know that?"
Nellie smirked softly. "Mhmm…"
"Are you cold?"
Nellie gave him a soft pout and nodded.
"Well, then… We may need to find a way to warm you… Any ideas?" He gave her a soft smirk, wanting her to feel better.
Nellie smirked, though she didn't feel much better, and kissed him softly. "You could use all of your sexy body on me."
Smirking, Sweeney pushed her back against the wall softly, kissing her neck and running his hands along her sides softly.
Nellie kept her smirk slightly and kissed him again, pulling his head gently from her neck. Sweeney unlaced his pants as he kissed her, letting them fall to the floor around his ankles before lifting her up in his arms and holding her up against the wall. Nellie wrapped her legs around his waist, trying to let go of her guilt and enjoy the moment. He was never so sweet or as understanding as he was being now and she wanted to go back into the moment before he ever said that woman's name.
Sweeney took his erection in hand and guided himself into her slowly, his cock rubbing against clit as he began to thrust. Nellie moaned loudly as he entered her without warning, ignoring the slight pain from it. She threw her head back against the wall, trying to melt into the moment as he cock filled her repeatedly. His lips pressed against her own and she could feel genuine love and desire in the kiss. She could feel his hands gripping onto her thighs and she tried to focus on his touch, the pleasure of his cock sliding over her clit and filling her entirely. She kissed him hungrily, moaning.
Sweeney began to thrust faster and harder, her back pressed hard against the wall as he pounded into her. His kiss deepened and Nellie felt her thighs begin to shake as the pleasure took over her completely.
"Nell…" He muttered against her lips and she could feel her heart melt for him again.
"A-ahhh… Yes…" Nellie moaned, closing her eyes as his cock rammed into her harder.
Sweeney could feel himself getting closer and he began to push harder with every thrust, beginning to shake the wall behind her. Nellie arched her back against him as he did, her own climax pending as he kept going harder and harder. Nellie moaned loudly, calling his name as her climax came and she felt herself cum on his cock in a gush of fluid that dripped over him and onto the floor. Feeling her pulse around him, Sweeney's own end came and with a deep grunt he released inside of her and held her tight against the wall, pressing against her. He placed feather-light kisses over her neck as his own breath quickened from the effort and pleasure.
Nellie's breath had gone ragged again and her legs were wrapped tightly around him even though they felt like jelly. She nestled her head in the crook of his neck, shivering as his cock slid out of her. After a moment, Sweeney gently let go of her legs, letting her slide from his waist to the floor, his arms wrapping around her waist.
"We should get back downstairs soon… in case the baby wakes…" Sweeney's breathing calmed and he held her tightly against him. Nellie gave a soft nod and kissed his cheek. "I hope the boy hasn't woken." Sweeney smirked at her softly as he pulled his pants back up around his waist, lacing them shut. Nellie sighed in contentment and watched him lovingly. "What?" He asked as he noticed her staring. As he looked back at her he noticed some of his semen still clinging to her face and he gave a soft snicker before taking one of his many cloths. "You never cleaned your face off…"
Nellie laughed softly and shrugged. "Oops…"
He walked to her and wiped her face off gently with the cloth and Nellie ignored the guilt trying to creep its way back into her heart. When he finished he kissed her again softly, throwing the rag into the laundry bin.
Nellie gave him a soft smile, returning the kiss, and pulled away softly. "Carry me…"
Sighing. Sweeney lifted her into his arms, holding her beneath her knees and shoulders. "You're very demanding."
"Shh…" Nellie wrapped her arms around his neck and snuggled against him softly.
Sweeney carried her down the stairs and through the parlor softly, bringing her into the bedroom and laying her on the bed gently as the baby began to cry. Nellie sighed heavily, hearing her, just wanting to sleep. Sweeney sighed as well and threw Nellie a night dress before walking to the cradle and taking the baby. Carrying her to the bed, he changed her cloth diaper and wrapped her in a blanket before sitting next to Nellie with Helena in his arms.
As he cared for the baby, Nellie put the gown on and pulled the blanket over herself. She smiled at the baby sweetly as Sweeney sat next to her. Laying next her, he placed the baby between them, allowing her small hand to wrap around his pinkie. He looked over her softly to meet Nellie's gaze, content to see that she seemed happy again. Nellie's smile widened as Helena cooed.
"I can't believe that she's ours." Nellie spoke softly, placing a hand on her hard won prize's stomach. Sweeney thought of a moment almost identical between him and Lucy and kissed Helena's cheek, putting his arm around Nellie's waist, drawing her closer to him. Nellie sighed, smiling, and looked up at him. "She's beautiful…"
"That she is, pet… You did very well…" Nellie smiled at him softly, allowing herself to feel content. "You know that we can't have another one, right?"
Nellie frowned, not expecting that comment from him during such a nice moment. Though it made her sad, she didn't respond, returning her focus to Helena.
"We can't…" He spoke softly, rubbing circles on her hip with his thumb.
"Why? Because you decided that we couldn't?"
"Yes." His tone was strict. "Do you even realize the situation that we put the child we already have in?" Nellie swallowed and looked down. "If that boy you took in, or anyone else for that matter, including our daughter, find out about us and word gets out about what we're doing, about my missing customers and your famous ingredients, we'll be tried and hanged. What do you think happens to her afterwards? Or any others?"
Nellie looked up, biting her lips. "You… you could stop…"
"It's not that easy…" Sweeney looked away from her as he spoke, already feeling tense at the idea of losing the ability to kill.
Nellie frowned sadly. "For our daughter…"
Sweeney sighed and sat up in the bed, taking the baby in his arms. Getting up from the bed, he put her down in her cradle and looked down at her. "If we quit… we have to leave London. I'll have to leave her." Nellie bit her inner cheek, knowing who he was talking about. "You can't ask me to leave one child for another…"
Nellie sighed shakily, the guilt coming back over her. "We could plan something, then."
"What? Kidnap her? Just because the judge is gone does not mean that Johanna will longer be a ward of the house." He turned to face her softly.
Nellie sighed heavily. "Do you want her back, yes or no?"
"Of bloody course I do!"
"Well then! Do something about it for fuck's sake!" Nellie swallowed, not believing what she was about to say. "Stop mumbling about your bloody past! Stop waiting, stop accepting that she's not with you right now! Do something!"
"And how do I suggest that I do it, pet? Walk right in, take her by the arm and drag her off?" He was nearly shouting and Nellie swallowed, holding her ground. "How do I get her to go with me? "Yes, I am your father, your mother had yellow hair too if you need proof!"
"Yes!" Nellie felt herself shouting. "Be radical! Bring her here! And then we will leave! But stop acting like you can't do something about it!"
Sweeney stared at her for a moment and sighed. "What about after? Don't pretend that you will like it. I can't even mention Lucy without a bitter remark on your behalf. What will you do when her spitting image, her daughter, is in the home?"
"I'll get used to it." Her voice held stern, though she found herself looking down with a raised eyebrow.
Sweeney sighed again and walked back towards her. "If I do this… I want you to promise me that you will treat Johanna well. I don't want any remarks about Lucy."
Nellie sighed deeply, looking at the bed sheets. "I won't be mean with her."
Sweeney tilted her chin up to look at him and kissed her gently. "Then I shall get it done one way or another." Nellie nodded and looked away from him. "Look at me…" His hands moved to her waist as he looked at her lovingly. Nellie met his gaze, sighing. "I love you… but I love my children as well. Just because Helena was born, it doesn't mean that she has replaced Johanna." Sweeney pulled her close to him gently.
"I don't want her to replace Johanna. She's not her. And she's not related to Lucy. At all."
"I never said that she was." Sweeney's hands moved up her sides slowly. "I simply said that I loved them both."
"And I never said that it wasn't okay. You think that I don't like Johanna… and… it's not true. I just don't particularly want to know her."
"Why not?" Sweeney pressed his forehead against hers softly. "Because she looks like Lucy? Is it my fault that my daughters take after their mothers? I thought that that was a good thing."
Nellie looked away from him. "If she's like her mother, I just don't think that we would get along very well."
Sweeney sighed and kissed her forehead. "Lucy liked you. She thought that you were very sweet. Until she found out that you loved me. Then she debated moving us but she knew I would never have done anything. She still liked you though."
Nellie sighed, feeling even guiltier. "Well, it's easy to say "I liked her," "she's sweet," when you're not the one married with a fucking annoying husband that you don't even love, living just underneath the man that you want but can't have."
"Well, as far as I know, Johanna isn't in Lucy's situation. She's sixteen… a child…" Sweeney kissed her cheek softly.
Nellie sighed heavily as he dismissed her point. "Whatever. You will never understand."
"Make me understand…" Sweeney brushed her hair aside gently.
Nellie sighed again, biting her lip. "I want you to be happy, Sweeney… and I know you need your daughter back…" Nellie looked down, frowning sadly. "But it hurts…"
"Why does it hurt?" He began to rub her back soothingly with his hands.
"You'll look at her and you'll see Lucy's eyes…" Nellie swallowed, brushing aside the thought of Lucy.
"She isn't Lucy… She has her blue eyes… her yellow hair… but she is not the same woman. You're forgetting that she grew up away from her mother, pet." Nellie frowned and looked up at him. "Johanna won't have the same loving home that Lucy did. She was caged as I've heard it. I would scarcely think that she would even speak very much at all. You have nothing to fear from her." He kissed her when he finished and Nellie felt her heart weighing in her chest.
"Fine…"
Sweeney held her closer and kissed the top of her head. "I want you to pretend that you've left me. Take the boy, the baby, and whatever money and personal effects from the shop that you want and find a home by the sea. Change your last name."
Nellie felt her heart skip a beat as he mentioned the sea and her guilt grew ten-fold. He had listened to her. "By… the sea?"
"Isn't that where you said that you wanted to go?" Sweeney smirked softly. "I'm not deaf, I just pretend not to hear you."
"Sweeney…" Nellie bit her lip, giving him a soft smile, feeling herself close to tears.
He kissed her again before pulling away from her. "You have to make it believable. For the next few nights we can be happy but next week I want you to seem very upset, as if we've just had a terrible row."
Nellie bit her lip and nodded softly. "Okay…"
"Are you sure that you're alright with this? You told me to never leave you again but I'll need time here when you're gone."
Nellie sighed shakily, not answering him.
"Nellie…" He kept his tone soft as he took her back into his arms, holding her tightly. "Write to me when you get there… I'll find you…"
Nellie met his gaze sadly. "Don't take too much time…"
"I won't…" He kissed her again softly. "I'll wait a week after you've gone… I'll find my way to Johanna, though it may take a week or two more… and then I'll find my way to you…"
Nellie sighed shakily, holding back tears. "Again…"
"I promise…" Sweeney kissed her again.
Nellie met his kiss weakly and looked up at him with saddened eyes. "I don't know if I can make it again…"
"I will be quick… There's nothing holding me away this time…"
Nellie let out a shaky sigh. "Well, I guess it's worth it… for the love of a daughter…" She flashed him a weak smile.
Sweeney kissed her hair and held her close to him. "I promise, pet. Within three weeks of your departure I will find my way to you with Johanna. Three weeks, pet…"
Nellie nodded slowly, placing her head on his chest and blocking out the memory of the two months he was gone for before. "Will you miss me? Say you will miss me…"
"Of course I will miss you, pet…" His grip on her tightened soothingly.
"I love you so much Sweeney, you don't even know…" Nellie could feel the tears threatening to spill from the corners of her eyes.
"Yes, I do…" He pulled away slightly and cupped her face in his hands, stroking her cheeks lightly as he kissed her. Nellie returned his kiss lovingly, not wanting it to ever break. He pulled away from her again lightly and rested his forehead on hers softly, closing his eyes. "I do love you, Eleanor… I mean that…" Nellie frowned sadly and looked down. Hearing no response from her, he lifted his head and looked into her eyes. "What did I do, now?"
"Nothing…" Nellie sighed, leaning back on the bed.
Sweeney leaned over her and brushed the hair from her face. "Then what is it?"
"I just hope… I hope you won't forget me…"
Sweeney smirked despite himself and kneeled before her on the floor. "Why would I forget you?"
Nellie bit her lip, pouting. "I don't know…"
"You gave me a child… and your heart… I could never forget you." Sweeney took her hands in her lap softly, looking into her eyes. Nellie sighed heavily, looking away from his gaze.
"Well, I won't have to fake being really upset… Gonna make this 'believable.'"
"I'm sorry, pet…" He kissed her hands gently. "If there were any other way…"
Nellie shook her head smiling sadly. "There's no other way."
"We have tonight and a few more days to be happy together." He moved onto the bed to sit beside her, crossing his legs beneath him.
"Why does it always have to be so hard?" Nellie sighed again softly.
"It will get easier… one day…" Sweeney pulled her gently by the shoulders so that she would lay her head in his lap and began to stroke her hair once she did. Nellie nodded slightly and closed her eyes as he stroked her hair. "I do suppose that if this all works out… you may have another child if you truly want it…" His voice was barely above a whisper and his gaze drifted towards the window.
Nellie turned her head to look up at him. "Really?"
"I would rather you not but if you really want one, then I will do my part."
"Well then, never fucking mind." Nellie turned her head back to face the wall.
Sighing, he looked back at her head in his lap. "Can you blame me? You nearly died delivering this one…"
Nellie bit her lip. "I know… but…" She paused, sighing. "It doesn't mean that it will go wrong next time."
"I don't want to lose you." He spoke quietly, looking away from her.
Nellie sighed sadly and sat up in the bed. "You won't…"
"You can't know that, Nellie…" He refused to look at her, his voice calm and soft.
Nellie tilted her head and sighed after a moment. "Okay."
"It's not that I want to control you. I want to protect you… is that so bad?" He watched her reflection in the window as he spoke.
Nellie gave him a sad smile and kissed his cheek. "I love you…"
He turned back to face her and kissed her lips. "I love you too… You have to know that everything I do, I do because I love you…"
Nellie bit her lip and looked at him intensely. "I feel the same way…"
Sweeney put his hands on her waist as they both lay down and nestled his face into her chest gently. "These are a lot softer since you've had the baby, you know…"
Nellie sighed and smiled a bit. "You're cu-... sweet."
He pressed a kiss to the center of her chest gently, before putting his arms around her tightly. He pulled her over him gently, holding her close. Nellie smiled and kissed his lips gently. He returned the kiss and deepened it, running his hands up her back and pulling on her hair lightly. Nellie closed her eyes in response, kissing him more passionately. Sweeney pulled away from her after a moment, feeling a strong sense of contentment unfamiliar to him, and looked into her eyes, kissing her nose.
"You can't afford to be exhausted in the morning." He teased her, smirking softly. Nellie rolled her eyes and moved herself next to him in bed. Sweeney put his arms around her again, but didn't draw her nearer. "You are… so very beautiful, pet…"
Nellie looked at him for a moment, taking in the gentleness in his eyes. "You think so?" She hadn't meant to whisper but she felt a sudden vulnerability as he looked at her.
"I took you twice tonight, pet… what do you think?" He smirked at her softly and Nellie felt her heart pick up a pace. Nellie smirked softly and sighed in contentment.
"I know, I'm "naughty," and "sexy," but beautiful… it's new…"
"I can't have been the only one to point it out, pet." Sweeney raised an eyebrow, watching her. "Did Albert never call you beautiful?"
Nellie sighed heavily. "You don't want to know what men have called me."
Sweeney took one of her hands and held it to his lips, kissing her fingers gently. "Tell me...
I'll be honest with you…"
Nellie sighed heavily as he didn't let it go and propped herself up on her elbow. "I didn't really care about the women in my past… I never really had friends anyway… They were gossiping about me all the time and I could always hear one of them shouting something like "did your man take you from the street, whore?" It didn't bother me much but when Albert died... " Nellie bit her lip and sighed. "'You dirty little slut,' 'you're a beautiful little whore, love, you are…' 'What a sexy lady, how much do you charge?'" Nellie frowned, pausing. "'Worthless little bitch…'" Nellie whispered the last sentiment, looking down.
Sweeney sat up next to her and put his hand lightly on her stomach. "You are most certainly not worthless… nor a bitch. I've never met a kinder woman than you other than Lucy."
Nellie rolled her eyes and looked down, biting her inner cheek.
"You're not worthless… Not to me…" Sweeney lay back next to her and nuzzled his face against her shoulder softly.
"Good to know." Nellie faked a smile and looked away from him.
"Nellie…" He called her name softly, kissing her shoulder. "It doesn't matter what other men or anyone else think of you. If you were not worth anything, I wouldn't have bed you in the first place."
"Goodnight." Nellie lay down, facing away from him.
"Eleanor…" He called her again gently. "Why are you so upset? I've killed every man I could find that touched you… No one will say those words again…"
"I said fucking good night." Nellie closed her eyes.
Sweeney sighed in frustration as she ignored him and ran a hand through her hair. "Just talk with me! I'm trying to help you!" Nellie refused to answer, biting her cheek. "I know you can hear me, Nell." His tone was audibly annoyed and Nellie felt the guilt come again. "What is it that I always do to fuck over your mood?"
"You always say her name. Everything you fucking say is related to her. I don't want you to compare me to her. I don't want you to love me as much as you loved her. I don't want this equality. Now," she turned to face him as she spoke, "sleep."
Sweeney bit back his rising anger and looked away from her. "How can you ask me to love you more than her? You know very well that I loved her with everything that I had."
"Goodnight." Nellie closed her eyes again.
Sighing, Sweeney pulled her close to him again, ignoring how annoyed he felt, and kissed the top of her head. "Goodnight."