Simon covered his other ear as he took a couple steps backward, unsure if he'd heard correctly. His heart pumped faster than it had been only moments before.
"The ICU?" He asked, knowing what he'd heard was true.
"Why? What happened?" The questions came out so easily. He didn't want to stop after just two.
"Sir, I just work with the doctor who treated her. From my knowledge, she was stabbed in an attack."
Simon found it difficult to stand in the room that was suddenly moving. The nurse felt terrible, like she did whenever she delivered news like this.
"I'm sorry for the lateness of the call. Sir, if I may offer you one more thing: I would suggest you stay close. She's in critical condition."
That was all her job entitled her to do. She'd given him all the information she had to.
Simon leaned heavily on the wall on the opposite side of the kitchen. He was unable to form sensible words, so he didn't even try. With no sound coming from the other line, the nurse said she was sorry, and then hung up. Simon couldn't remove the phone from his ear. His eyes were wide.
Had that really just happened? He hadn't seen Olivia in three weeks. They'd just had so much going on that their schedules to get together never matched.
It must be a mistake, he reasoned. It's not her. It's someone else.
He was yanked back into the real world when he felt a tug at his jacket. Ty was standing down below him, concern in his young eyes.
"Is Olivia ok?" He asked.
Simon knew his son was reading his expression. He knelt down and spoke at Ty's level, trying to find words. "No."
His voice was trembling under the pressures of oncoming tears. "She's hurt."
Ty widened his eyes. "A lot?"
Simon felt his tears beginning to surface. His vision blurred as he touched Ty's face and nodded. Ty saw the tears as soon as they began, and they scared him more than anything. His dad was always so strong. He wasn't afraid of anything.
"We can go home now." Ty said simply, walking into Simon's arms. "She's going to be ok. Olivia's always ok."
The little arms around Simon were just enough to open the flood gates of emotion. "I hope so, Buddy."
Tracy, throwing away her plate, took notice of Simon and Ty.
"Simon." She said cautiously. "Simon, what's wrong?"
Simon let go of Ty, still holding his hand as he stood up straight.
"Liv's at Bellevue ICU. I have to get back." He said, showing his panic.
Tracy looked at him in disbelief. "What happened?" Her exasperation matched her expression.
"She was attacked - that's all the nurse said." Simon choked on his words as he forced them out.
Tracy put a tender hand on his arm. "I'll get packed up." She squeezed his arm.
"I'm sorry." He said softly. He didn't want them to have to leave the place they'd only been for a few days. Tracy needed to spend time with her family too.
Tracy shook her head. "We need to be there."
Addressing Ty, she took his hand. "Let's go get ready to go home, huh?"
Simon watched them disappear down the stairs. Tracy's brother, James, approached him.
"You guys have to go?" He didn't question it. He saw the looks in their faces.
"My sister - she's in the hospital." Simon replied robotically.
"I'll look for an early flight back." James put a hand on Simon's shoulder.
"Thank you." He was so grateful for a family like the one he had.
James only gave his wife, Leah, one look, and she knew something was wrong. She kept the children playing while Simon joined his wife to pack his things. He had to get back.
He had to be there.
Munch, after an hour of serious talk, finally made the first playfully sarcastic remark. Cragen had been asked where he had been on his long voyage around the world. After answering, naming a few cities and countries, Munch piped up. He knew he had to do something. It was all just too heavy.
"You getting grays out there on that boat?" Munch reached out toward Cragen's head before pulling it back.
"Oh, right." He joked as the shine came off of his friend's head.
Cragen couldn't hold in a smile. He had missed that wit. He had missed all of what his former squad had to offer.
"Alright, John. But if I did have hair, it couldn't ever be as gray as yours." He fired back, forgetting for a pleasant moment what had brought them all together. It didn't matter where they came together. Wherever they all were was home.
They all had the short laugh they were in great need of.
"Aright. Alright." Munch surrendered with a small grin.
The laughs died off into a reflective silence. Remnants of happiness showered every face in the room. The knock on the door brought them all out of their deep thoughts.
Eileen entered the room cautiously. "I'm not interrupting, am I?" She poked her head around the corner, still feeling like a bit of an outsider to the group.
"If you mean Munch and Cragen catching up." Amanda smiled at her, glad to see her again.
"Come in, Eileen. Please." Brian motioned her in.
His mind was going a thousand miles per minute. He knew what he was feeling. It was confusing, hurting him. Was it right for him to stay? Was it right for him to go? They'd spoken about it, he and Olivia. But it had only made it harder. Were they together for support? They'd been alone for so long. Maybe it was just comfort they sought. He couldn't hear anything going on in the room as he thought about it.
Eileen sat down next to Cragen, not knowing whether or not to smile.
"She's got no grays, does she Munch?" Fin said with his own sarcastic smile.
Eileen glanced over at Cragen with a quizzical gaze. Cragen smiled and shook his head.
"It was Munch. Don't worry, he doesn't make sense most of the time." He assured her.
"Now we need to hear about this trip - from the both of you. I want to know how traveling the world is." Fin leaned back as he spoke and awaited the stories to begin.
The hospital room was quiet, a nurse coming and going to record what her monitors read. The life on the bed continued on, her body repairing itself as best it could. The breaths taken by machine were delivered in hopes of a full and complete recovery. Every cell, every fiber she had in her was working endlessly to ensure life could go on. It had to.
The nurse left the room, finding the doctor coming around the corner to enter the room.
"Jen." He stopped in front of her with his clipboard. She clutched her own against her chest.
"Anything change?" He asked.
Jen glanced down at her recordings. "Her blood pressure is back up to near normal now." She began. "But she's showing no signs that she's able to breathe on her own."
The doctor shook his head.
"The other lung seems pretty stable, though." She finished.
He nodded. "I'll take a look. Hopefully by tomorrow it'll be in no danger of collapsing."
Jen sighed as she looked into the room.
"She's a police officer." She commented softly. "Some others were here with her earlier."
The doctor watched his patient's steady breathing. "It's ok with me if they're in here, as long as they can get out of the way quickly if something happens." He replied.
"I'll give them a call." Jen left as the doctor headed in to check on Olivia.
Simon threw his clothes and everything else into his suitcase with trembling hands. Tracy didn't say anything while she packed her own things in her suitcase next to him. She knew there would be time for him to tell her. He just seemed so overwhelmed. As he threw his last item into his suitcase and leaned on it heavily, she reached her hand out and touched his. He looked into the solace he held in her eyes.
"She's going to be ok, right?" He asked the question he knew she couldn't answer.
Tracy gave him a look of pure empathy. Her heart hurt. "I don't know, Simon."
She paused as she interpreted the pain in his face. "But we're going to be there for whatever happens."
He took a deep breath as he held her gaze. "Together."
Simon nodded. "Thank you." He whispered. She could never know what her love meant to him.
James entered after pausing in the doorway.
"There's a flight that leaves Portland tonight at 5:00."
Simon checked his watch. It was hardly 1:00. He cursed the time change for the first time since arriving.
"Book it." Tracy nodded. "We can head to the airport early to see if we can get on an earlier flight." She suggested.
James nodded. "I'll take you. You packed up?" He lifted Tracy's suitcase as it laid on the bed.
"I'll check on Ty and Olivia's things." She left the room. James turned his look of concern to Simon.
"If there's anything I can do, Simon." He started, not really sure what it could be. Still, he wanted to offer.
Simon, thankful for the offer, took his weight off his aching arms and leaned up off of his arms.
"Thanks for booking us that flight." He paused. "And thanks for letting us spend some time here. I've really loved getting to know the rest of my family."
He managed a smile. It was hard to leave when they'd had such a wonderful time together. But the other side of his family needed him now, and he had to be there.
James put a hand on his shoulder. "I hope you guys can come back soon. It's been fun."
He brought Simon into a quick hug, showing him the growing bond between them. Then he picked up Tracy's suitcase again. "Let's get you home."
Tracy and Simon hugged Leah, and Tracy's parents goodbye. They both got tight hugs from their niece, Alicia, and nephew, Michael. James grabbed the keys as Simon lifted Olivia into his arms. Tracy held Ty's hand as they left the house, waving back to their relatives.
The conversations kept their minds from everything for only moments. Something always brought them back. But talking about it made it easier. It helped them distribute the weight they carried, making it less for every single person.
The rain kept its pattering against the hotel room windows far into the afternoon. At 4:00, another storm ripped the skies wide open with rolling thunder, blinding lightning, and torrential downpours. Nick's phone rang again, halting everyone's tongues in their mouths.
That feeling sank in again. When Nick had read the number on his phone, one he didn't recognize, he tried to hide his fear. He couldn't, not from the people who were trained investigators. He said nothing as he stepped into the other room. It left the others in an excruciating state of anxious anticipation. Was it the call? Not yet. No.
Amanda shared her terrified glance with Brian. His face said it all. Cragen put his hand on Eileen's, his heart beating irregularly. Fin looked over at his former partner, just staring at the stability that he sought. Brian put his head in his hands as he sat on the opposite edge of the bed from Cragen and Eileen. He leaned over, hoping it would all go away.
Nick came back into the room, his face white. His eyes were hard to read. Had he just received the news that his partner was dead? Or was it something else? Amanda swallowed hard, tears already springing to her eyes as she held her mouth with her hand.
Nick couldn't move. What he was feeling was too real for words.
They remained in silence as they awaited his words to confirm or deny what their minds were relentlessly telling them.