This chapter starts off light, I didn't want this story to be to dark.
This scene takes place three days after Bella's meltdown.
I sat in the Cullen living room with Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper the t.v. was turned down that way it was only a hum in the background. Emmett was sat on the couch by me, we were both turned facing each other Rosalie was sitting behind Emmett looking through a car part catalog. Alice has her legs tucked under her on the loveseat sewing a pair of pants, her hands moving to fast for me to keep track what she was doing. Jasper sat still beside her, his eyes on Emmett also a small smiled danced upon his face.
"We should have code names for each other, that way we can go by something beside our names" Emmett carried on smiling, using his large hands to talk with.
"Like nicknames?" Rosalie spoke from behind her husband.
Alice rolled her eyes but she smiled at Rosalie's comment.
"That doesn't sound as cool" Emmett argued.
"What is my codename then?" Rosalie asked looking up from her book to watch the back of her husbands head. Emmett seemed like he was focusing for a second.
"TimTam" Emmett finally spoke smiling wide, he looked over his shoulder at her, she smiled at him, her eyes were soft.
"I hate you" She told him half heartedly.
Jasper was laughing, which caused me to giggle and Alice roll her eyes again.
"Keep laughing Toni Tony Macaroni!" Emmett called to his blonde brother.
Jasper's face fell, me, Alice and Rosalie busted into a fit of giggles.
"That is not my codename" Jasper argued.
"Hmm, wanna bet?" Emmett asked then wiggled his eyebrows.
"Why are the nicknames- sorry codenames, dealing with food?" I asked Emmett, he just shrugged.
"Do you not like Toni Tony Macaroni?" Rosalie asked, a smile still on her face. I think this is the first time she was ever nice to me, it caused me to flush.
"I love it" I told her.
"Yeah Soul Sister knows what she is talking about" Emmett said pointing his thumb in my direction, I couldn't fight my smile.
"Not funny" I told him.
"Edward will rip your arm off" Alice spoke giggling a little.
"Okay a little distasteful. I will only call you that when Edward is not around... sometimes. We need a better codename" Emmett said stroking his invisible beard.
Carlisle, Esme and Edward came down the stairs, Esme was smiling she must've been listening to our conversation. Edward looked stressed, I gave him a small smile, the corners of his lips turned up slightly.
"Can I pick yours?" I asked him, looking away from Edward.
"Sure" Emmett said, I noticed Alice has stopped sewing.
"Okay I was think steamer pack" Emmett smiled "But I think Beef Cake is better" I laughed. Rosalie barked out a laugh.
"Don't fill his ego, Bella" Jasper told me.
"It might get as big as Rose's" Alice giggled.
"Leave TimTam alone" Emmett argued with Alice.
"Esme is Angel Dust" Emmett continued.
"Emmett that's a dr-"
"I know this, it's cause she's irresistible" Emmett spoke trying to earn Esme's acceptance for her codename.
Esme just rolled her eyes and grabbed Carlisle hand.
"Emmett that one is stupid" Alice told him.
"Keep talking Sassy Potato" Emmett laughed.
"I am not going to be called Sassy Potato!" Alice cried, Emmett just shrugged.
"Edward is Sour Dough Bread" Emmett declared, earning a laugh from Jasper. I didn't smile at this one.
"Emmett, that isn't nice" Esme said.
"What is Carlisle then?" Jasper said changing the subject, I didn't need to be a mind reader to know Jasper liked Edward's codename.
"Grocery bag" Emmett stated looking thoughtful.
We all just gave him a look.
"You know he's always full of what you need, like advice... Or in Bella's case a medical degree" Emmett laughed, I heard Edward make a sound of protest but this didn't stop Emmett's joy.
"Bella can I talk to you upstairs?" Edward asked. I nodded and stood up.
"Good luck Lean Cuisine" Emmett told me.
I groaned. I was happy though Emmett thought enough of me to give me a nickname like his family. I bit my lip as Edward took my hand and walked Bella speed with me up the stairs. His bedroom door was open when we reached it, he shut it behind us.
"I don't know why you do that" I told him honestly.
"Do what?" Edward asked confused, I felt bad for snapping at him.
"Shut the door" I told him, I could practically see the light blub above his head turn on.
"They won't listen" Edward told me, leading me to his couch. I played with the loose string on my shirt biting my lip.
"I will listen" Edward whispered, I could feel his cold breath fan over me.
Past memories danced in my brain like a cut skit in fantasia. I have everything I could want, a perfect boyfriend, a healthy body... Edward. I could tell him, yes. He has told me he loves me no matter what numerous of time, why would he not love me after I spilled my guts? Because this was life, no matter how much I felt like I was a living breathing fairytale, the snow white of Forks, Washington- I wasn't, what happens when the Prince finds out about Snow White's past, does he still marry her? Does he wake her with true loves first kiss? Maybe, probably. I could throw me and Edward's future away for the sake of a maybe. I wasn't Renee, I wasn't selfish and I made mature decisions. I was not flighty and I put a hundred percent into my relationships.
"If you don't let it out, it'll eat you alive" Edward told me, I forgot where I was for a moment.
I looked up at him, his coal eyes looking back at me. I loved him very much.
"I'm scared" I told him in a whisper.
Panic filled his eyes, then self-loathing then back to worry, he leaned back a little.
"Not of you Edward... well necessarily" I told him honestly.
He scooted closer to me, tracing my jawline with his fingertips.
"I'm supposed to be the cryptic one, remember?" He asked.
Memories of irritated lunch dates with Edward swirled in my mind.
"What if I'm a bad person, Edward?" I asked him, I felt like I said to much but not enough. His head fell to the side as he studied me.
"Bella, you could've killed a thousand people I would still love you, you could have totaled my Volvo and the only anger I would have is that you put yourself in danger" Edward told me humor danced off his tongue.
I started crying then, I covered my face with my hands as my shoulders rock. I think this is the second time I've cried in front of him.. Once in his Volvo coming home from Port Angeles and now. I could feel Edward grow stiff next to me. He ran his fingers through my hair kissing the hands that were covering my face. He took his free hand and lightly pulled on my hand.
"Tell me what hurts you, I'll take the pain away" Edward promised with pain in his voice.
I cried for a few minutes until I was able to control myself again, my breathing was just labored. I finally uncovered my face.
"Promise you won't leave" My voice cracked as I grabbed a fist full of his t-shirt.
Panic filled his eyes and features "I swear" Edward told me.
"When I was younger.. well I guess kind of always, I used to get these anxiety attacks. At first the doctors thought it was asthma, which I did have but, I don't know. Then when I was around fifteen I started checking out. I would have memory of what I had done for the last few hours. Then when the attacks would get really bad I would black out or get sick. It was scary. I used to see a therapist... I'm broken Edward.. how could-" I cut myself off and took a few deep breaths
"I thought they went away, but I guess I was wrong" I told him, he watched me closely then pulled me into a hug.
"My sweet, sweet Bella. I love you, I'm sorry you have that happen" He whispered rocking me softly.
A few moments of silence passed.
"What.. what else?" Edward spoke, I guess I was becoming easier to read.
"Edward?" I asked him my voice cracking.
"Yes?" He asked me curiosity filling his tone.
"I h- I was.. It.. I wassexuallyassaulted" I spoke quickly fumbling over my words, I held my breath as I waited.
The whole house was silent, eerily silent.
Then Edward did the last thing I expected but somehow the most thing I expected.