46

My mom's car is parked outside the house when I arrive home after dropping Izzy off. She has a key and often calls in to make sure I'm taking care of myself, and even though I'm generally pretty clean and tidy, she can usually find something to busy herself with to make her feel better. I try to let it go as much as I can because I'm all she has left now, and I've recognized she drops by more when she's having a bad day.

I close the front door behind me and head for the kitchen, knowing I'd left a pan to soak and a few other bits out after dinner that she wouldn't be able to resist tidying away.

She's standing motionless beside the phone, with a plate and a cloth in her hands.

"Hi," I say, dropping my keys onto the table and removing my jacket. There's nothing from her, no move toward me for a hug or a kiss.

"You just missed a call," she says. I look down to the blinking light that tells me I have a new message. Mom turns away without a word and crosses back to the sink as I hit the button to play the message back.

"Hi, it's Izzy." Her voice fills the room, as it clearly had just before I walked in. With my back to my mom, I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "I know you won't be home yet and I didn't want to call your cell while you're driving, but I wanted to say thanks for tonight, I had a really nice time. Maybe we can do it again sometime…if you want to, I mean." There's a pause and then, "Bye."

I turn around. Mom's drying the pots roughly, her eyes down, not even offering to meet mine.

"Mom…"

She doesn't stop so I move over to her and place my hands over hers.

"Mom. Stop."

When she finally raises her head to look up at me, there are tears in her eyes.

"That girl," she croaks. "After everything she did to you. You and your brother."

"That was a long time ago, Mom. She's been raising her little brother since her mother died, she's completely different."

"She was always out for what she could get. She probably sees you as an easy target to help raise the child," she spits out, her face heavy with revulsion.

"That's not fair," I insist, fighting to stay calm.

"Isn't it? You never could say no to her, you silly boy. She knows that."

The anger that has been balling up in my chest, begins to spark as her words hit home. How dare she call me a silly boy? Everybody's quick to judge and insinuate I'm naive, but I seem to be the only one with the maturity to give Izzy a chance.

"Enough, Mom," I demand. "I can understand your concerns, but I won't be spoken to like that."

As I step away from her, she grabs my arm and turns me back around.

"Why can't you just make things work with Kate? You could be a proper mom and dad for Sasha," she pleads.

Ah. This again.

"Because Kate and I don't love each other like that. We're no worse parents because we live apart. You know all this, we've been over and over it. We're never going to be together and the sooner you can accept that, the better for everyone."

Letting go of my arm, she aims a glare at me, turns and leaves.

As the front door slams shut behind her, I sigh and lean back against the counter. I guess that's another apology I'll be expected to make.

~S~