Emily was in her arms as they heard the footsteps returning. Olivia's voice shook as she reminded the little girl of what she was to do, all while she was mentally preparing for the pain that awaited her. The only comforting thought was that she was going to end it all - him. She could take the agonizing torture as long as she kept in her mind what she'd come to do.

Living in fear was not living at all, and Olivia was tired of struggling to get out of bed every morning only to be pushed into the world where Lewis was coming back. If she had to lose her life to rid himself of his, it was a sacrifice she was willing to make. What good was struggling to hold on with her life if he still had his? This way, one or both of them would be able to alleviate that feeling.

Olivia reasoned with herself as bravely as she could, hearing Lewis' footsteps approaching quickly. If she was gone, she'd no longer have to fear for the life she didn't have. And when Lewis was gone, there would be no way for him to reach into her world to hurt her again. His face greeted her. Evil was all she saw.

:::

Olivia opened her eyes, glad that her nightmare had been quiet. She could see Nick looking out the window to her right. He was unaware she was awake.

"You didn't have to stay." She was pleasantly surprised that her voice had the capability of being more than a hoarse whisper. Now it was raspy, one that sounded almost nothing like what her usual voice was. But still, it was a voice.

Nick spun around quickly, relieved to see her eyes again.

"I know. But that's what partners do." He stared at her for a long moment as she stared back.

She read his expression easily. He was still worried, but it was deeper than just the wounds he could see. Something had happened that she didn't know.

"How bad was it really?" Her voice was softer than before.

Nick swallowed hard. It hit him hard that she didn't even know how close she'd been to death. She didn't know that there had been a great possibility that she might never wake up.

He was rooted to the spot as he told her. "Your lung collapsed."

She nodded. She knew that, but there was more. She could tell on his face.

"You went into a coma, Liv. The doctor was afraid you wouldn't wake up."

The pain resurfaced. What a blessing it was to be able to tell her all of it instead of watch it come true.

She could see it when he went back there.

"We were scared you wouldn't."

Olivia let the lump in her throat grow. There was nothing she could do to stop it. "I'm sorry."

When she'd gone into that granary and prepared for her own death, she hadn't been thinking about how the outcome would have affected the people around her. She'd only been thinking about ending the fear. She voiced that confession to her partner standing at the foot of her bed.

"When I decided to go in there, I didn't think about what it could do to you guys."

The words slammed into Nick with a force only previously known when he first saw his partner in the aftermath of both attacks. He couldn't find anything to say.

"I went in to end it, and I didn't expect to come out." She fell quiet again before whispering. "Maybe it's that I didn't want to."

It hadn't occurred to her that maybe that was it. She was so tired of having to fight. Lewis' first attack had put her on the journey every survivor had to take. Then the trial, the assault that the court and the law as a whole permitted, had only thrown her backwards. She had been fighting for her life back, fighting to keep up her strong appearance. Maybe part of the reason she'd went in expecting to lose her life was simply that she didn't want to fight it anymore.

"Liv you did something so brave -" Nick didn't have a chance to finish his sentence when a little knock on the door interrupted. He turned.

Olivia's heart hurt when the face of that poor child peered in at her again. Lacy stood behind her daughter Emily as they waited for permission to enter. Nick waved them in.

He left after a silent, reassuring glance to his partner. She knew he wasn't leaving her.

Olivia gave a smile as they neared her bedside. Lacy returned the smallest smile she could. She saw the bruises and the burns that Olivia had endured to save the life of a stranger, her little girl. Olivia reached out slowly for Emily's hand.

"It's ok, Emily. It's me." She saw Emily's terror at her appearance. Nonetheless, the girl took her hand, noticing the bandages.

"She wanted to see you." Lacy explained softly.

Olivia let her smile grow as she nodded. "I wanted to see you too. How you holding up?"

Emily was conflicted. The voice was such a comfort, as it had been. But her appearance was so painful. The bruises and cuts had not been visible in that dark room where Olivia had saved her life. It became real again.

Lacy took a seat behind her daughter, content in watching the exchange.

"I'm ok." Emily's voice shook as she replied. Her face had fallen.

"Me too." Olivia ignored the pain she felt with every smile she had to give. Every bruise protested.

Emily was speaking like a zombie, tired from the flashbacks she suffered. "I keep seeing him."

Olivia swallowed even harder than she thought she could. For such a young girl to experience flashbacks was a thought enough to make Olivia's lung burst into flames of discomfort and unrest. They were hard enough to handle for her, a grown woman.

"I know. But those nightmares will go away. I see him too." She paused. "He won't ever hurt anyone again. He's gone, Emily."

The words coming from her hero were enough for Emily to believe it was true. Olivia saw her eyes still scanning the injuries Lewis had inflicted. She had to do something to alleviate that pain she saw in her young face.

"I'm going to get better."

Emily watched and listened to the woman who had saved her life. Her voice was different than she'd remembered.

"I'm sorry." Emily felt her tears begin their journey down her face as she apologized. She didn't even know what for. She'd done what Olivia had told her to, but still Olivia was hurt so badly. Emily felt she should've stopped that man. He was just too big and strong.

Olivia shook her head as tears sprung to her own eyes. The shame was something they both shared, as unfair as it was.

"Emily, listen to me. There is nothing you have to be sorry for. You were so brave in there, and you did everything I told you too. Look at us. We're both going to be ok. It's going to be ok."

Lacy felt pressure in her throat just listening. Emily nodded a little to make sure Olivia knew she understood. The exchange ended in a painful hug, but a hug all the same.

"Emily. Could you wait outside for a minute. Detective Amaro is right around the corner." Her mother stood up after Emily turned toward her.

"I'll be right here if you want to come visit again." Olivia offered quietly. Emily leaned in and wrapped her arms gingerly around Olivia. The minimal discomfort was nothing compared to the relief the detective felt. Only hours before when they'd hugged, neither of them had known what the next hours would bring. They hadn't known if they were going to make it out together.

Emily felt safe again, and Olivia felt like she'd done everything right for a moment. She'd saved Emily's life. They'd saved one another.

Emily followed her mother's directions and stepped into the hallway. Lacy addressed Olivia directly, saying what she thought she'd never have a chance to say as much as she wished.

"I can't ever thank you enough for saving my little girl." Her voice wavered as she clasped her hands in front of her.

Olivia again witnessed the unexpected gratitude she received for running head-on into Lewis' again. It was surreal to be alive to accept it all.

"I'm sorry he dragged her into all of this." Liv's breath hitched regretfully. Her battle had been between her and Lewis only, until he apathetically dragged a child into it to lure Olivia back. She couldn't have expected anything less. Like he'd told to her before, he knew what he wanted, and he always got it.

Lacy nodded sadly. She heard the deep regret in the detective's voice.

"Me too. But you got her out of it - and it took a lot." She glanced at the injuries again. It didn't seem real, even plausible that a complete stranger would suffer so much to save Emily. But she had. It was bravery beyond human capacity so it seemed.

"Thank you." Lacy's voice dropped to a consistency just above a whisper.

Olivia couldn't say anything as she stared into the eyes of the woman.

She'd done her job right. Emily was still alive. She was still alive. Lewis was not. She nodded, still unable to speak. Lacy left her alone then, taking Emily home with her.

What a life.

Cragen, Eileen, Amanda, Fin, and Munch all came through the door at the same time that evening, each holding bags of Olive Garden take-out. Olivia held the smile on her face that had seemed impossible to retrieve. It shone in the darkness of the evening that was upon them all.

"Hey, Liv." Fin smiled back at her as he took out a plastic plate and set it on the table beside her.

"You know, Fin. I'm not really hungry." She spoke in the loudest voice she could, though it only reached a volume just above a whisper.

"But thank you. The thought counts." She smiled weakly again.

Fin nodded, offering her a smile back.

"It ok if we stay and eat?" Cragen asked her cautiously.

"Please." Olivia replied simply.

They sat around her, taking out their food as they did.

"Eileen, it's good to see you again." She spoke before the older woman could.

Eileen smiled graciously. "Same for you, Olivia."

The laughs they shared that night, though physically painful for Olivia, were enough to ease a bit of peace back to her heart, however small. The people who surrounded her eased the deepest pain she had trapped within her. It was a miracle.

It was five more days she was stuck in that hospital, feeling trapped. Her lung got stronger as her injuries began to heal. Even so, the healing was slow. The internal scars remained. The bruises on her body and face had faded only a little. The cuts and burns still glowed red, but in a more forgiving shade.

Olivia was alone in her room when she moved her feet to the side of the bed and stood up alone for the first time since her stay began. Either the nurses or Nick had been there to help her into the bathroom and back, down the hallways, and everywhere else.

Nick was collecting the rest of her release papers as she changed in her room. Now, wearing a loose blue sweater and khaki capris, Olivia stood up alone. It was a blow to her steady healing every time she felt the lasting effects of Lewis' worst attack. Soreness radiated from between her legs all the way down them. It spread to her abdomen and settled deep inside her. The shower she'd had the night before left her feeling cleaner than before, but the feeling remained that she had yet to wash away everything.

The burns and cuts gave her the command of standing and walking stiffly. They hurt worse than before. Olivia shook her head a little, disregarding the thoughts the discomfort provoked. She took the steps slowly to the table near the bed. The missing puzzle piece, the only time she didn't know what had happened to her, was taunting her with every wave of agony shot upward into her stomach.

Olivia took a deep breath and hooked her watch onto her wrist before pocketing her new phone and apartment keys. Nick stood at the doorway when she turned around.

"You ok?" He asked quietly. It wasn't simply a question for her physical condition, but for the whole situation in general.

Olivia had been told that others knew about her release that day. Everyone did. Nick had been scrolling through the channels on the TV to find a headline announcing her hospital release. It came from one of the largest news stations in the county. There was press outside every entrance and exit of the whole building. She had to face it all today - the judgement, the invasion of privacy. As if that wasn't enough, she'd have to do it in front of the entire city.