Olivia held eye contact with her partner for a long moment.
"Let's just go." She let her arms fall to her side as Nick watched.
He couldn't believe it. She was standing there in front of him, alone, without any help when only days ago they weren't sure if she'd ever open her eyes or breathe on her own again.
Olivia could tell what he was thinking, and she mustered up a small grin. She almost lost her life, but she had it. She was going home. Lewis was dead. Emily was safe. She'd done her job. She'd succeeded, and nothing Lewis had done to her could change that. Still, that didn't make it hurt any less.
Soundlessly, Olivia took the few steps to where Nick was standing and slipped her arm into his. It was the way she'd been able to give him her weight those nights she had to get to and from the bathroom. With him supporting and taking her weight, the world felt safe. The night had seemed less threatening.
Nick let her lean into him as he began to move at her pace. They walked out of the hospital room into the hallway. Olivia kept her eyes straight ahead. It was every step she had to concentrate on taking. The doctor had given her an exam - a full exam. He knew about the damage Lewis had done everywhere, but he wasn't able to tell anyone else. He had, however, been able to tell Olivia that she would be sore for a little while. She didn't think it'd be this long.
She had medication to take for the pain, but it didn't seem to take it all. Nick knew about the stiffness she held, but he said nothing. Ultimately, that was what she was most thankful for. He knew she would tell him when she was ready. In the elevator, Olivia gripped the side rail with a deep sigh and a grimace.
"We can take a break." He suggested lightly.
She shook her head. "I'm alright." She replied almost too quickly.
"I know you are." The words came out by mistake from beneath his breath. But it was too late to take them back. She'd already heard them. Olivia snapped her eyes to his.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Her tone was suddenly provoked, confused.
Nick shook his head, aware now was not the time. "Nothing." He whispered, lowering his eyes.
Olivia swallowed hard. "Please. Nick, tell me." The voice that came from her changed again. She was pleading him.
"If you said you weren't ok, that wouldn't make you less of the hero that you are. You can ask for help. That's what I'm here to do: help you." He finished, gazing deeply into her eyes.
Olivia bit her lip. She knew he was right, but it still felt so degrading to be asking for help to do the things she had been able to her whole life. She'd known how to walk since being a small child, and now she needed help doing it.
Nick added to it. "We already know you can take care of yourself. You went into that grain terminal, saved a little girl's life, killed a sociopath, and came out alive."
The silence was impenetrable around them. Every word that left his mouth had her mind reeling, finally beginning to think the way she should.
"And still he got that chance he needed - to rape me." As low as her voice was, Olivia didn't know she had spoken.
Nick heard it the moment she said it. It was done. She couldn't take it back. He knew. Suddenly, Nick's airway closed. He struggled to swallow as his eyes settled on her, unable to move.
Olivia could feel them looking at her. She didn't care that he knew. One day he would have to find out. Partners didn't have secrets. It was too exhausting to keep secrets anyway.
Lewis had raped her. It hurt Nick's heart like it had never hurt before. The one thing Lewis hadn't been able to do, had been done.
Olivia met his eyes as she felt them on her. He found the tears glistening in them. It was something she hadn't been able to do in the days she'd been trapped in the hospital - open up. And it was coming out like a flood. There was nothing she could do about it. She trusted Nick.
"He knocked me out and then - I knew it when I woke up." One of the stray tears dropped down her face.
"But Emily -" her breath hitched painfully "- she didn't have to see it. She was already gone."
Nick took her hand softly as the doors opened to the ground floor. Olivia squeezed it and moved up to clutch his arm again.
"I'm so sorry." Nick held in his emotions as best he could, knowing they'd be facing press as soon as they left the door.
Liv wiped the tear from her bruised cheek and turned her face to unreadable stone. Then she remembered to hold her chin up. She was walking into a city, a world forever free of William Lewis. The sound from her lips was like an assurance to herself that what she said was true.
The whisper made Nick's heart full again. "I'm alive."
"Thank god." Nick replied.
They closed the distance to the front door, stepping out to find cameras, microphones, and police crowded about. Olivia clutched his arm tightly as they faced the crowd. She said nothing, but she did something. As she was helped down the steps, Olivia smiled. It was a small one, but everyone standing there witnessed it clearly.
Let them know you're still the Sergeant Benson you always were. Let Lewis know how you have the chance to save your life when he has no chance at all. Smile at him in hell. Say goodbye.
Nick let Olivia get into the vehicle awaiting them first. He slid in after her, finding her hands clasped in her lap as she sat, her face positioned straight ahead. When the chaos ended with the shutting of the door, he glanced over at her again. The car began to move.
"Tucker called Murphy last night." He said.
Olivia snapped her head toward him. It could mean only one thing. "About what?"
Nick could tell what she was thinking. He had been thinking the same thing when their commanding officer had called him to say Lieutenant Tucker had rang. "You."
Olivia rolled her eyes. Of course IAB would make its case.
"He wanted to know how you were doing." Nick added with a small grin.
Olivia's eyes softened as she took in his words. She thought about them for a while before giving a smile of her own. "He must not be feeling so good either."
He would never call in his right mind - not about that anyway. Concern was something Lieutenant Edward Tucker just didn't seem to have.
Nick allowed a laugh, however small, to escape him. It was more of a comfort to Olivia than he knew.
The rest of the ride was spent merely coexisting in the silence between them. It was serene, both of them sitting there together, as it had always been. Though they hadn't known each other forever, it felt that way. Nothing like that mattered. Nick was at peace - as at peace as he could possibly be given the circumstances. Olivia was feeling the same. The existence of their presence next to one another was a comfort in itself, working mysteriously in an invisible way.
The world shrank until it was only the atmosphere inside the car that existed. Everything else melted away.
Simon and Tracy packed their bags again, headed for their New York City home after Olivia had been released from the hospital. It was a relief that neither of the adults could put into words.
The kids were smiling again. The life they had took on a whole new luster, some sparkle that they took hold of to live the best they could every day. It came to them through an experience yielding a new chance at life for not just one, but all.
Simon watched that life unfold as his wife took the children to the living room and got out the toys that they cherished so. His daughter's smile was nothing new, but it seemed brighter than it had ever been. Ty's laugh was as clear as a crisp melody on a chilled winter's morning. It was something he'd heard every day, and yet today it meant so much more.
How tedious life was. How quickly it went. How abruptly it changed.
Brian moved his luggage into the new apartment he'd managed to snagged. The room was emptier than what he felt inside. It was hallow and lifeless. It was too late to change his mind. Though it stung like a thousand knives, Brian could not will a way to go back to Olivia. She didn't want that. She had made the same decision he had. Even so, it was painful.
Brian sat alone in his new life. Those two years he'd spent with her were a godsend. They'd kept one another on their feet through every nosedive their lives had taken. Without that relationship, one or both of them might have given up, given in. It was a time through which they gave it another try between them, and neither regretted it.
What a blessing to have been separated for 13 years only to come back together and discover what had changed within them. Olivia had grown in wisdom and strength, not to mention beauty. Brian sighed as he remembered the time he'd never get back. His new life was beginning in a new city, a new apartment, a new job.
It couldn't keep him from thinking about her.
Discouraged when they reached the building, Olivia and Nick had to take the stairs all the way up to her tenth floor apartment. The one day the elevator was out of order was the day she'd needed it the most. By the fifth floor, she felt her legs beginning to shake involuntarily. It hurt so much she couldn't even hide the pain from her partner. She clung to his arm tightly and squinted her eyes shut as they ascended the endless stairway.
Nick took her weight with great resolve. He would carry her up there if he had to. She was finally going to be home.
They didn't say one thing to each other until Olivia unlocked the door and stepped inside. Every sound stopped then. Her apartment hadn't changed, even though her life had. It was a strange feeling. And the note. It was gone, but she remembered when she'd written it what seemed like a lifetime before. One phone call had taken her back to William Lewis.
Nick watched her carefully, ready to bring her back to the reality they were in if he needed to. Olivia played with the keys in her hands, her fingers gently moving around them. The very shapes were imprinted on her skin in permanent remembrance. She didn't leave the room or the world she dwelled in as she stepped back and took a breath.
She hadn't known that night what would happen. Even if it hadn't occurred to her, she didn't even know she'd ever walk back into that apartment alive. It was such an odd sensation she held inside. She knew that even though she'd ended Lewis' life with her actions, his could never be erased. What he did to her affected her every day of her life. But she was still living one.
"Will you stay?" Her whisper was a soft, pleaded question. It didn't command Nick to stay, but he knew he had no other choice. He didn't want to leave. He couldn't leave.
Her eyes showed her discomfort and exhaustion.
"Absolutely."
Then she left him, disappearing into her bedroom for to seek the sleep she'd lost. Nick stood, feeling the remnants of her thoughts echoing in the recesses of the room. The mix of relief and regret were confusing as they swirled to create an emotion never to be explained. There were no words to describe it.