"7... 8... okay, that's nine votes all together". Yinshen commented as she finished checking the last few votes. "Seems like people want this story to continue after all".
"Huh. Figures"... Mike replied. "Anything that has to do with someone bitch and complain about other peoples work always seems to be a real thriller. So, what are the results"?
"One for OC fic part 2, three for harem fic and five for Ti-Po fic".
"Oh goody... I'll be back in a minute"...
Mike slithers off to the side. When he returns twenty seconds later he's struggling to pull along a gigantic bag.
"I swear this damn bag is getting bigger day by day"... Mike's voice strained as he kept attempting to pull it forwards. Eventually he let go once convinced it was in a good enough spot. "Okay, here we are. A portion of Ti-Po fics ready and waiting to be read".
Yinshen walked on over to the bag, patting Mike's head like one would an obedient dog much to the snakes annoyance. Opening the sack up, she stuck her hand in and pulled out a random scroll.
"Ready"? She asked the python.
"Ready as I'll ever be".
"Well, let's get started then".
A Ti-Po fic. Written by Ti-Po fan 9112934842321
"As you can tell, these people cleary spent a lot of time choosing very clever, very unique identities". Mike commented.
Yinshen shushed him and continued.
It was another day in the training hall for the furious five. Tigress and Po were training together. Everything seemed to go well until Po managed to mess things up by accident by very tenderly stepping on Tigresses toes. And just like that she transformed into a calm individual to a raging volcano since obviously she has the most incredibly short tempered personality as possible.
"DAMN IT ALL PO STOP MESSING UP! OH MY GODS I HATE YOU SO MUCH! YOU SHOULD LEAVE THE JADE PALACE AND NEVER COME BACK! DO YOU GET THAT YOU FAT STUPID PANDA"?!
"Okay, if I may interject for a second"?
"What's wrong Mike"?
"No, I'm just curious about something. Um... why is it that these fans keep giving this sort of personality for Tigress? I mean, they're making her into a straight up asshole. More so than in the first Kung Fu Panda film. You'd have thought that people would realise that Tigress at the very least respects Po and has more or less developed a bond of friendship with him! God, this is just like Legends of Awesomeness all over again".
"Hey, speaking of which do you think we should make fun of that show as well as these stories"?
"Oh no you can bloody well forget that"! Mike snapped at once. "I don't think I have the time nor the patience to go over all those episodes. Just... just carry on with the story, please".
"Okay hold on... Tigress still yells at Po... still yelling... wish you were gone, wish you didn't exist, just as well your real family is dead otherwise they'd have to live with the shame of having to deal with you day after day... wow some of these are kind of pushing it... Ah, okay here we go".
"... WHICH IS WHY YOU SHOULD LEAVE! AND DON'T THINK I WON'T REGRET IT, EVEN THOUGH I EVENTUALLY WILL WHEN THE GUILT BUILDS UP AND I REALISE THE CONCEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS"!
Needless to say, Po was hurt. No, actually forget that. He just had his freaking soul destroyed! Po may not have been the best warrior around so accidents were bound to happen every now and then among training. Yet this one random mistake is enough to set Tigress off for pretty much no reason.
"Okay then Tigress... if that's how you feel, then I shall go". Po replied not realising just how stupid that very idea was. Clearly he didn't realise that if he left then crime would increase, the Valley's strength would dramatically decrease in both defense and morale and he would end up shaming the Jade Palace for eternity. However love is apparently more important here so we're just going to go ahead and roll with it.
"NO! DO NOT LEAVE PO! I LOVE YOU"! Tigress announced at once, crying and sobbing like a two year old cub.
"OKAY THEN! I WON'T! I LOVE YOU TOO TIGRESS"! Po replied before the two kissed.
THE END
"Wait, what?! That's it"? Mike asked dumbfounded. "But that was so short"!
"Yeah, a lot of these fics are".
"But- but I... that ending was... how is that it"?!
"Meh, my guess is that once the main characters share a kiss that apparently means the end of the story".
"Sounds like laziness to me".
"Well maybe it is, but hey we'll never know. Any way onto the next fic"...
"The next one"?
"Yeah, the next one. There's several different kinds of Ti-Po fics so we'll need to go over at least another two".
"Aww"...
"Suck it up". Yinshen replied as she pulled out a second scroll from the bag. "Okay, what do we have now..."?
Ti-Po lemon by HHorny TToad 121
"PO! RAM YOUR *BLEEP* UP MY *BLEEP* I'M HORNY AND IN HEAT-"!
"Okay, forget that"! Yinshn spoke immediatley throwing the scroll away. "Gods I hate lemon fics"...
"Some people have no sublety it seems". Mike spoke, trying not to laugh. "So, uh... next one"?
"Sure"... Yinshen sighed, pulling out another scroll and tossing it to Mike. "You can read this one".
"Okay, no problem".
Love at first sight
Today was just like any other day. Everybody was calm and relaxed. All except for Tigress who seemed rather figety and nervous whenever she was around a certain panda. And for some unknown reason, no one could figure out what was the matter with her except for Viper since she's apparently pshycic and can always tell what's the matter with Tigress almost instantly.
"Tigress, you are in love with Po". She told Tigress.
"What? No, that's impossible. I don't love Po like that"! She replied, refusing to believe what she was being told.
"Tigress"... Viper begun. "Who do you think you're fooling? I know it, the readers know it, even you know it! Stop trying to pretend you don't when everybody, including yourself, obviously knows you do"!
"But... I don't know what love is... how do I know I love him"...?
"Come on, seriously? We went over this in the last chapter"!
"Mike, just shut up and keep reading".
"Then ask him yourself and find out". Viper replied.
And Tigress did just that after their talk. However there was one small problem. It just so happened to be that Po was dating someone else, much ro everyone's surprise! Most likely a random OC thrown into the story just because the writer could! Needless to say that Tigress was devestated. So devestated that she became cold and hard once again, keeping to herself and becoming an asshole to everyone. Especially Po. Which in hindsight would have ended up meaning that she would have to be suspended from the Jade Palace or confined to the barracks since she was a hazard to her team. But Shifu isn't often mentioned in these stories so we'll just act as though he doesn't exist.
Po eventually realises Tigresses behaviour and why she's acting like a jerk and decides to dump his girlfriend to be with Tigress. Which just so happens to work out since the mysterious girlfriend was actually using him for her own benefit. Once this is confirmed, Po and Tigress manage to talk and work out their problems and decide to become a couple anyway. And they live happily ever after.
THE END
"And... done"! Mike finishes, rolling up the scroll and tossing it away. "Thank goodness that's over and done with".
"At least it made more sense than the first one". Yinshen agreed.
"So, now that Ti-Po is done, now we should move on to...".
"The harem fics, according to the votes". Yinshen pointed out.
"Oh... yeah. I'll be back in a minute"... Mike sighed, slithering off once again.
"Uh, Mike? You don't have to get them right now, we're done for this chapter". Yinshen pointed out.
"Yeah I know. However someone has to go and censor those fics before next week. This is a T-rater story after all remember". Mike replied before slithering off.
"Okay, well then. I guess we're done here. Thanks for reading guys and we will see you next week. Cheerio"!
...
Okay guys, that's it for the Ti-Po chapter. Next week it's the Harem fic. Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Also, I'd like to give a shoutout to HoboJr2000 for writing a story about Mike! Feel free to look him up and read his story if you're interested guys. And as always, Cheerio!