"So... I'm sorry, what did you say your name was"...?
For the past five minutes, Mike had been trying to get some information out from a white tiger who had showed up at the Jade Palace claiming to be related to Tigress. He had huge muscles and several hundred scars which seemed to give the illusion that he was a bad ass. The only problem at the moment was the fact that despite his claims of being related to Tigress, there was still a lack of proof that he actually WAS related to Tigress in any way.
"I am Odin Cornswad. I'm Tigresses big brother that has been seperated from her for twenty years to this exact date".
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"Also twice removed".
"Ah, I see cause... that makes all the difference... Look, buddy. Do you... y'know, have any proof or something to back you up on this? Cause if not I'm calling the Imperial guard".
"No no no, I have proof! Here". Odin panicked, showing his hand. There was a ring on his middle finger. "This ring has been my own since I was a cub. Tigress was also given one exactly like it! Just ask her and you'll see".
Mike gave an annoyed sigh. This guy was clearly not going to leave until he saw Tigress. On the bright side of things, it would be fun to see Tigress kick this wierdo down the thousand steps.
"Okay, fine". Mike sighed. "Follow me".
The white tiger smiled and followed Mike. At least for a couple of seconds as Mike turned back round.
"By the way, I should probably tell you that the Jade Palace is not responsible for any injuries that you may experience, including bruises, broken bones, loss of spine or being beaten to death with your own skull".
"Um... I'm sorry? That last one doesn't sound physically possible"...
"Yeah well, last thing we need is to continue to rip off an overused line from a popular internet show, so let's just say... you clearly don't know Tigress as well as you think".
"Well I suppose we'll find out, won't we"?
"Yes we will".
A short walk later, Mike manages to take Odin to the barracks, doing his best to try and block out his long stories of what Tigresses parents were like and how he was able to defeat entire armies that threatened the whole of China. Not that they were bad but the only downside was that none of the stories he told seemed all that believable as there was often a lot of left out detail and explanation. It wasn't surprising that Mike felt some relief reaching the barracks.
"Okay, wait here and I'll go and fetch her". Mike commanded before heading inside and leaving Odin on his own. Several seconds later Mike returned bringing with him the kung fu feline herself.
"Sister! It's you"! Odin exlaimed, ready to hug her.
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...
Or he would have if Tigresses fist hadn't impacted his face at a hundred miles an hour, sending him back several feet knocking him out. With the reunion over, Mike looked up to the calm and relaxed looking tiger.
"So. Do you treat all your relatives the same way"? He smirked.
"Only those who pretend to be". Tigress replied back, satisfied with what she had done.
"Touche".
"Besides, this isn't the first pretender to try to claim themselves as my brother".
"Yeah, and something tells me you're not the only one this has happened to"?
"What makes you say that"?
"Trust me. I know the inner workings of how fans minds work".
"Hm. In any case, would you care to join me in the training hall for some sparing"?
"Er... maybe later. Right now I best deal with this faker first".
"As you wish". Tigress nodded before walking off, leaving Mike on his own. At which point, the python smiled and looked in front of him.
"Hey guys. Welcome to the next chapter of the story. So as you've probably already noticed, we're back onto OCs again. Now, there's a lot of... interesting characters out there in the KFP world. Most with potential and purpose while others are made just to screw every female character they come across. But some of the more interesting characters, depending on who you ask is"-
"Um, excuse me"...?
Mike sighed as a new voice interuptted him. Thankfully it wasn't the white tiger who should still have been unconcious. Still, Mike turned round.
"Yes, how can I help"-
Mike took a look at the being in front of him and in shock, stopped talking.
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"Is, everything okay"? The mysterious being asked.
"You- you're... a human"! Mike exclaimed in shock.
And he was right. There was indeed a human right in front of him, standing right in front of the python. It wasn't hard to see Mike's eye twitch as the gears in his head turned. Unfortunatley his shock and confusion didn't last long as he turned into rage as he looked up into the sky and yelled.
"WHAT THE HELL OOGWAY?! SO IT'S OKAY FOR THIS GUY TO REMAIN A HUMAN IN THIS WORLD, BUT I HAD TO BE TURNED INTO A PYTHON THE SECOND I ARRIVE?! WHY"?! (Check "Legend of the Kung Fu Python chapter 1" for those who don't get what Mike's yelling about)
"I uh... I'm sorry but... what are you talking about"? The human asked.
"Okay, you know what? We're done here"! Mike snapped. "No more OC chapters okay? I can't deal with this shiz after something like... this"- Mike points to the un-named human -"Comes out of nowhere for no rhyme of reason"!
Mike turns back on the now half scared human. "Why are you even here anyway"?!
"Well I... kind of don't know where I am... and I"-
"Would like to train at the Jade palace, become a warrior and fight evil, bahity blahity blah, yeah like I haven't heard that idea before"! Mike interuptted. "Trust me that's the position I'm in"!
"But... you're a snake"...
"I KNOW I'M A GOD DAMN SNAKE! I WAS a human! But now? Nooooo. I didn't get the choice to remain one unlike you, you lucky bastard"!
"Hold on a moment, isn't being transformed into another creature kind of impossible? How did it happen"?
"I don't bloody know! I wasn't exactly awake when it happened"!
"But doesn't that sound kind of like a lack of explanation due to laziness"?
"Hey, better than advertising another one of your stories like the prick author just did in this one"! Mike replied, pointing up. "Actually, you know what? Just follow me, okay? I'll get you to talk to Shifu about becoming a kung fu master. That's what works for most OCs here. Even if they are human"...
"So, are you also a kung fu master"?
"Yes".
"How did that work out"?
"Let's just say I had to deal with a panda, a monkey and a rhino".
(Check chapter 2 of legend of th-
"STOP DOING THAT ALREADY! ONE ADVERTIZMENT IS MORE THAN ENOUGH"!
...
Hey guys, next chapter has finally arrived. This one I really struggled with more than I thought, so I've decided to make the small change of applying the OCs into the storyline. And yeah, sorry, no Yinshen this chapter. She had to go back to Gongmen city and do her job (Plus I had to write this chapter in a day and got lazy with the dialogue between the two characters ^^;) Also, for those who watch me you've probably noticed I've been making fun of both Mike and my own stories as well in this chapter. Sorry, I couldn't resist. And seriously, don't check out those "Advertisements" I added, those are also there to poke fun. But for those who actually DO want to know Mikes origins, let's just say he was once human, made a deal with Oogway as he died and was transformed into a python before being sent to the KFP world. ... Wow, even written that explanation sounds horrible... Ah well, enough shattering the illusion for today. Thanks for reading everyone. I'll get to writing up your suggestions for the next chapter (And really, this next choice is kind of surprising and weird for me as an individual. However if that's what you want you shall receive it ;p ) Until next time guys, Cheerio!