"Wow people. Just... wow". Mike sighed with a somewhat disgusted look on his face. "You know, I'd have thought that given this day and age, people could end up coming up with an idea for a story that's not so revolting. Something fresh, unique and simple. However those hopes were quickly shattered after checking the latest requests. So, for the amusement of the audience we shall be reviewing fics where Tigress gets paired up with... older men... And believe me, when I say old, I'm talking in the range from from double her age all the way up to goddamn ancient! Tai Lung and Shifu! Yes, both these guys have been requested to be in a romantic relationship with Tigress! I mean... just... WHY?! What is wrong with you people?! Heck, I'm surprised you stopped there! Why not just go ahead and add Oogway to the list too you bloody disgusting wan"-
"Okay, moving on"! Yinshen quickly interuptted, holding Mikes snout shut before he could say anything else. "So, yes... that is indeed what people have been asking for. Which means we have to do it. Despite how much we don't want to"...
"Yeah. And by the way, not reading the stories this time". Mike noted after Yinshen released her hold on his face.
"I hate you".
"Wouldn't be the first time you've told me".
Yinshen started reading to herself.
A Romantic Couple
Shifu, being the well known kung fu legend he is, had served his whole life dedicated to the ways of kung fu. Which of course meant sacrificing a lot of personal time. Including finding a girlfriend. However, it was just a coincidence that Tigress was in heat-
Really? That's how we're starting this off?
-And was unable to control herself as she... did things in her room nobody really needs to know about, but the moans were enough to clue you in anyway... in attempts to try and relieve herself. Unfortunatley, it wasn't enough. So, she decided to talk to her master about it, as was normal to talk to your master about such things apparently. She found him in his room... also doing things that nobody needs to know about, but describes it anyway... in horrifying, accurate detail... ...
"Master Shifu"... Tigress began before becoming distracted from seeing her masters stiff- *CENSOREDCENSOREDCENSORED* -It was enough to make Tigress *MORECENSORED* in her pants. She couldn't take it! Without so much as a single thought, disregarding all rational thought and control she went and took in her mouth her masters throbbing-
"Oh Gods I can't continue"... Yinshen hissed, shutting her eyes and holding the book at arms length.
"Oh come on". Mike sniggered. "Sure it's foul and downright weird, but it shouldn't be that bad".
"Fine, see for yourself"! Yinshen snapped before showing Mike the contents. Mike decided to continue on to the first line of the second page, skipping the first page entireley.
Beating his shrivelled old meat-
"AH! OOoooOOOH MY GOD! MY EYES"! Mike yelled, wrapping his tail around his face. "CAN'T UNSEE! CAN'T UNSEE"!
"I warned you". Yinshen replied.
"Of all the things they had to add a sex scene into the mix"?! Mike cried in shock. "That's... like it wasn't bad enough with the student in a relationship with a master... and the age difference"...
Yinshen sighed. "Well, congratulations people. You broke him. Now he's going to bitch and moan about it for the rest of the day. Thanks a lot".
"So, moving onto the Tai Lung story"-
"AW COME ON, ISN'T ENOUGH ENOUGH"?
-"Not until we've covered both relationships".
"I hate this job"... Mike sobbed to himself.
REVENGE IS SWEET
Tigress did not know where she was. Her hands were bound together with rope. She had just woken up and did not know where she was. She seemed to be in a cave. Standing outside was someone dressed in a cloak, making it impossible to see who it was. However they were quick to reveal themselves anyway as Tai Lung! *gasp, shocker*
"Mpfh"! Tigress muffled, shocked in surprise seeing the snow leopard who had been defeated by the dragon warrior months ago.
"Hello Tigress". Tai Lung spoke calmly. A little too calmly considering that not so long ago the embarassment and harsh realisation that everything he had worked his life for was all for nothing. So either he had released his anger by leveling a city or had gone insane. Doesn't really matter since that's never taken into account anyway. Neither is the explanation as to how he's still alive and is sprinkled over with "Because there's still good inside me" or "Unfinished buisness to take care of". But no-one really gives a second thought about it anyway.
Moving on, Tai Lung strokes Tigresses cheek and soon begins to remove his-
The book is instantly removed from Yinshens hands and thrown away.
"And... I'm sure you can guess the rest from there". Yinshen smiled.
Mike said nothing and slithered away. Clearly it was going to take a lot of booze before he could forget today's stories.
A LOT! Of booze...
...
Hey guys, Coneofwonders here!
So, I'm guessing a lot of you are wondering where I've been for... two months? Damn I'm way overdue... Anyway, University has been putting things into overdrive and I've been worked near to death trying to figure out new programs, having a go at some designers for not sending me stuff on time, and trying to get as good a grade as possible for my 2nd year. Still, now that the 2nd year is over, I have all the time in the world to do what I want :D So, it's back to the same old schedule (unless something comes up) so expect a new chapter a week from now (yes, I'm changing from Sundays to Thursdays now) So for now, cheerio!