"Hey guys, it's Mike here"!
"And Yinshen".
"And thanks for being patient with us after our explained mishap. Now today, we're going to try something a little different".
"Especially since all you people apparently want to see is nothing but people being shipped together. We've been gone for something like three weeks and that's all you've put down in the requests? Come on guys, step it up a bit".
"Which is why we're going to do something which no one has asked for yet. So, welcome to character transformations"!
"So, Mike. What exactly ARE character transformations"?
"Well Yinshen, a character transformation is when an author may choose to change a characters physical appearance or personality, usually to their own liking. Sometimes the changes are something small and minor like getting a scar on their lip or something. The rest of the time... well... let's just say that some of you guys out there have some rather questionable imaginations. Matter of fact, I'm going to describe one such transformation from an actual fan fic just so you can get an idea of how ridiculous it is".
"This ought to be interesting".
"Oh just you wait Yinshen. Okay, so imagine Viper as her normal self, okay? Then add on the hood of a cobra, make her six times longer than her original length, imagine her spitting acid, fully functional fangs and being able to spit out eggs like birdo. I shit you not, that is an actual transformation that someone thought would be acceptable. Oh, and the thing that really pisses me off is the reason behind it all. Are you ready for this? A growth spurt".
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"You're kidding".
"Nope. That is the serious truth behind it. So... unless Viper is some kind of alien from another dimension, I'm fairly certain that this guy's imagination has gotten the best of him".
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"What is wrong with you people"?
"Hey, come on Yinshen, it's not their fault that the internet has gone and turned them into... NEAR complete idiots".
"Uh, Mike? Don't insult them anymore than you already have by lying in their faces, okay"?
"Moving on, let's move onto a second example by, what else, reading yet another fan fic"!
SUPER PANDA By ShoobieDoobie1987
For the first couple of chapters, everything seems normal enough. Everybody is more of less training, other than Po who's complaining about how fat he is and how he wishes he could be thin, which sounds fine at first until you realise that Po's fighting style usually revolves around using his weight to his advantage. Why Po wishes to lose weight is not too often explained, but it's most likely to get into Tigresses pants, just like half the KFP fics on this site so it doesn't really surprise anyone.
Rather conveniently, a wizard happens to appear, being able to grant Po's wish for him. It's most likely that this underdeveloped character with little background was listening in for weeks, waiting for Po to say that one line. How else would he have instantly appeared the second Po begins to complain about his weight.
So, abracadabra, Po instantly agrees to this and changes into a thinner version of himself... as well as being taller and having muscles, both of which he never asked for so why he was given those are left out of the explanation. Supposedly wizards secretly add in perks to sweeten the deal.
So, while you're wondering whether Po technically qualifies as a panda anymore, Tigress begins to fall in love with Po (shocker) and eventually confronts Po about making love to her. This is where yet another perk is revealed as Po has a huge *cough cough*. It was so unrealistic that with his pants on, it looked like the panda had just decided to shove a watermelon down under. Heck, it would be a miracle if Tigress doesn't get torn in half.
So, eventually some time later, some bad guy shows up and Po beats the absolute shit of of him, and... that's it. Bad guy most likely dead, Po marries Tigress, yadda yadda yadda you already know how it ends, so ... THE END
"The end". Mike finishes.
"Huh. I honestly expected worse". Yinshen spoke with a hint of surprise.
"Well thankfully there aren't too many character transformation stories out there so there are few that take it too far. Thankfully".
"Hey, you know, we've actually walked away from this chapter without one of us losing our sanity or storming off stage for once".
"Maybe we're getting good at this". Mike smiled.
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And Mike got struck by lightning! The end!
Okay guys, thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed this chapter. Just wanted to try something other than shipping since that's all I've gotten lately. Change is supposed to be good after all, right? Alright so if you don't know already, I'm away on holiday for the next two weeks so I won't be around to write up any chapters until I get back :( Still, I'll try coming up with another chapter and will be sure to post it when I get back. Cheerio!