Wow ... I did not expect so many reactions to Ana's outburst. Most of you really understood why it happened and that at some point Ana had to lose it. But I want to answer some questions for you

How did Hyde get in? He got into the house while Ryan was with the girls at the spa and Reynolds was with the boys at their fishing trip. As mentioned in the last chapter, the security didn't even bother to put the alarm system on or let the CCTV run, so it was pretty easy for him to get in and hide without anyone noticing it.

Does Ana have a mental disease? Actually, I thought about it, but as I mentioned in earlier chapters I have very little knowledge in this field and I don't want to write in great detail about something, when I don't feel I could do the topic justice. Ana's problem is that she puts anyone else first and wants the people in her life to be happy, but at the same times she puts her own happiness and needs on the back-burner. This why most of the things that happened to her were never mentioned by her after a chapter or two and also why she is so quick to forgive everyone.

Was it right for her to blame Christian for all of it? Hell no, but, and I can talk here from personal experience, if you are a person who bottles up all fears and emotions inside at one point you will blow and it will be ugly. Sadly, if you lose it you will lash out at the people you are closest to.

Also, to all of you who think that Ana is a bitch, please bear in mind that we are talking about a 22 years old woman who in the last eleven months got kidnapped and had her knee crushed with a sledgehammer which caused her, her career. Only days before her wedding Christian didn't talk to her for days, her sister was diagnosed with a mental disease, her parents separated, her mother turned into a selfish bitch, she had a blood bag thrown at her, saw her husband getting arrested in a mall after beating Hyde half to death, she had to put up with Christian questioning her abilities as a mother at more than one occasion, found out that her stepfather is her biological father, woke up with a psychopath in her bed who threatened to rape her, had to stab him and watched him get shot. Those of you who have kids will know that pregnancy hormones can be a bitch at times, so now add all the drama she never really worked through on top of it and I think Ana had every right to flip...

Elliot's POV

Holy fucking shit! I have no idea what just happened. My usually so calm and collected sister-in-law has completely flipped, trashed the room and has left. My brother is sitting in the middle of the room not talking at all and the rest of us is just staring at each other as if to ask 'has this really just happened?'. In her defense, she has been through a truck load of shit over the last year, but I guess not only me but we all thought she had put all of it behind her.

I watch Kate get up from the couch and think that she comes to me to seek some comfort, but to my surprise she bends down next to Christian.

"Christian, come on, get up. She will be back in a while."

"She left me, she isn't going to come back" he mutters and fuck, I have never heard my brother sound so broken.

"No, she hasn't she just flipped. I knew it would happen, I just hoped that I was wrong. She will take a couple of hours to calm down and when she realises what has happened she will come back. Ana loves you more than life itself, she isn't going to run."

He turns to look up at her and his face shows nothing but shock and utter disbelieve of what has happened here only minutes ago.

"How do you know?"

"Because this is the same thing that happened years ago with her sister. Ana bottled up all the anger, hurt and frustration deep inside and at one point she lost it, trashed her parents livingroom and beat her sister. When she came home she was still fuming, but an hour later when she finally realised what just happened she was crying hysterically regretting her outburst. This is the same thing. So, give her some time and when she comes back sit down and talk. She has to stop doing this. She lets everyone believe all is fine until she can't take it anymore. I tried to talk about it with her, but she wouldn't listen, maybe you can make her understand that this is not the right way."

"But it's all my fault, she said so and she is right!"

"Oh for heaven's sake. It's not your fault, you didn't ask that Hyde bastard to go crazy, it's not your fault that her sister is sick and mother a bitch. Yea, the security thing wasn't cool, but again, if she doesn't feel safe with her security detail she has a mouth to talk, but she decided not to use it. You just happened to be the one who was closest to her when she lost it. Fuck, she nearly threw a cup in Elliot's face and I don't think this was because she was blaming him for anything. So, please don't put this on yourself, Ana is the one with the issue this time, not you."

Wow, is this really my wife talking. I mean, I would love for her and my brother to get along better than they did until now, but I never thought I would ever see the day coming where she would comfort him. I watch Christian looking at her for a while as if her words are slowly sinking in and after a while he nods and gets up, before giving Kate his hand so she can get up too.

"Where is Taylor?" he asks looking around and I notice that he is the only one who is not in the room.

"Taylor is following Mrs. Grey, Sir. He just sent me a text that she has stopped at a hotel in town." says one of the security guys who arrived with Taylor, though I have never seen him before and have no idea what his name is.

"Good" Christian nods at him and leaves the room. I decide to give him a couple of minutes before I go and check on him. I hope Kate is right and Ana will return soon.

Taylor's POV

Today has been a cluster fuck of epic proportions. First that Hyde fucker is on the run, then when I arrive here in Aspen I have to find out that Ryan and Reynolds completely and utterly fucked up, so I had to fire them. Then while the new guys I brought with me were still searching the place we heard Ana scream and I had to shoot fucking Hyde. Damn, I was so fucking pissed at that point I wanted to rip his dead body to shreds, but instead I called the cops to get rid of his body.

And then Ana lost it. Fucking hell, who would have thought that a tiny person like her could blow up like that. But she really let Grey have it. I don't think she meant half of it, she just reached the capacity of all she could take and needed someone to blame.

When she stormed off I decided it would be best to follow her. The last thing we need is more drama and she wasn't really in any condition to be just left on her own. Of course, I'm keeping my distance. She doesn't need to know I'm following her and I'm thankful that after 15 minutes of driving around she checked into one of the high-class hotels in town.

I waited until she was inside and went in after her. I know the security team of the hotel and this is why now, I am in the security room watching her on the feed. All the upper class suites in this hotel have security cameras in the rooms, though they are only running while the guests are not in their rooms, so in case some one gets into the room the security can intervene immediately.

I watch Ana pace the room for a while and then she sits down staring out of the window rubbing her belly. Fuck, I have no idea what is going on in her mind right now, but I hope she will calm down, think everything through and talk with the boss.

My phone rings and I see it's the boss.

"Sir?"

"How is she Taylor?"

"I haven't spoken to her, Sir. She checked into a hotel and is currently in a suite, I'm checking on her over the security feed."

"What is she doing?"

"Just sitting on the sofa looking out of the window, Sir."

"Keep watching her ... and Taylor if ... never mind" he hangs up and I sigh. Fuck, he sounded defeated, but this is a waiting game. If I drag her back to the house or Grey comes here to talk it won't do any good. I hope he realises that and gives her the time to cool of she needs.

After almost two hours she ordered food from the room service and I watch her eat it without even looking at her plate. Most likely she only ordered it to eat something for the baby and not because she is actually hungry.

As I continue to watch her she continues to just sit on the sofa and eventually she falls asleep only to wake up an hour later and from the shaking of her shoulders I can tell that she is crying. Fuck, god damn it, I hate to see a woman cry and I'm torn between sitting here and keep watching or getting up to her room. After 20 minutes I can't take it any longer and make my way upstairs.

Hell, I can hear her sobbing from outside the room and though I have the keys for her suite I decide to knock first.

"Mrs. Grey, please open the door" I listen intently and after a moment I hear the sobs come closer and finally the door opens.

"May I come in Mrs. Grey?" she nods and I step in and close the door.

"Does he hate me now Taylor?" she asks and I have to stop myself from snorting. It would be a damn cold day in hell when Christian Grey starts to hate his wife.

"No, and you know that . He would never hate you"

"But after what I told him, I have blamed him for everything..."

"Mrs. Grey ... Ana, you have to talk to him. Hiding here will help neither of you. After what happened I do understand that you need some space, but frankly I don't believe that this was the sole reason for you outburst. I know it is not my place to say, but you have to communicate with your husband, he is a guy if you tell him you are okay he believes it and I don't think that you have been okay for a while now especially in the last two weeks."

She hangs her head turns around and sits down on the sofa. "He was so carefree and happy, I just didn't want to burden him with my shit or anyone for that matter."

This time I can't help but snort, this woman has an open ear for anyone, yet she feels it would burden someone if she would do the same in return. Women, I guess it takes a lifetime to understand them.

"Can I sit Mrs. Grey?"

"Sure, but if we talk call me Ana." she mutters and I sit down.

"I'm going to tell you something maybe it helps you. As you know I have a daughter and was married before. My wife and I met while I was still in the army and we had Sophie very quickly. At first, she was the perfect woman, always smiling and fun to have around. With time she would only snap at me and act all bitchy. I tried to talk to her over and over again, but getting anything out of her was like pulling teeth. She would say she is fine and I knew she wasn't but she would never open up. In the end I just had enough and we divorced. Now, I'm not saying that we were anything like you and Mister Grey, we were not nearly as much in love as you are, but the thing is communication is the key to have a healthy relationship. Mister Grey has no problems letting you in, but I don't think you are telling him everything and you let all the shit that has happened to you just eat on you. That's not how it works, I mean sure you can afford it to trash your home whenever you have enough, but at one point he might have enough of it."

"But... but I don't want him to think I'm constantly complaining or I don't know I just feel I have to keep it together for everyone ..." I hold my hand up and stop her.

"Ana, that's bullshit. You are entitled to have weak moments just like every other person in this world. Hell, you wouldn't be human if you could just continue to take all that fucked up shit time and time again and not have fears or the need to get it all out, but you have to speak up when it happens and not wait until you feel like it is tearing you apart."

"Are you sure you were in the army, you sound like a shrink" she mutters and blows her nose.

"I studied psychology for a year and then decide to go to the army. All this studying wasn't my thing. So, I have a little knowledge in this field and it's enough to tell you to call down a little more and when you feel ready go back and talk to your husband."

"Does he know I am here?"

"Yes, he sends me texts every 15 minutes to hear if you are still okay."

"Where you outside the room the entire time?"

"No, there are security cameras in here. I cashed in a favor and watched the feed in the security office."

"Is that even legal?"

"It's only switched on when no one is the room, so no one who is not supposed to be in here can get in and steal something."

"Well, that makes sense... wait you did not watch me in the bathroom didn't you?"

"No, the security feed shows only the entrance of the room and the sitting area. Since the hotel has to disclose that they have cameras in here no one would book a suite if they had to fear they would be watched in the bedroom or bathroom." I explain and she nods.

"I think I need some more time before I go back, just to think"

"As you wish, but Ana you don't have to fear that Christian wouldn't want you anymore. He is madly in love with you, that will never change." I get up to leave the suite and watch her on the security feed again, but she calls me back.

"Umm... would you mind staying here with me until I'm ready to leave. I would like to take a shower, but after today I don't feel safe alone in here."

"Sure Ana, I will just sit here"

"Thanks Taylor" She leaves the sitting area of the suite and when I hear the shower running I decide to call the boss.

"Taylor, what is it? Is something wrong with Ana? Has she tried to harm herself? Is the baby okay?..."

"Sir, Mrs. Grey is fine. I'm in the suite and she is currently taking a shower. She has calmed down and I'm pretty positive that she will be back at the house in a couple of hours if not earlier."

"Oh thank god, okay, has she eaten?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Good, stay with her until she is back here."

"Yes, Sir" he ends the call and twenty minutes later Ana emerges back in the sitting area.

"I guess, I should go back now Taylor, staying here will only make it harder for me to go back and face Christian." Well, thank fuck for that. I nod and we leave the suite.

"Ana, I would like to drive you back, you weren't exactly in a fit state to drive before and I'm not sure you are now."

"It's okay, I don't think I should drive either." she hands me the car keys and 30 minutes later we are back at the house. I watch her get in and really hope that she and the boss can work things out.

Christian's POV

"Thanks for talking to me John and sorry that I kept you up all night" I mutter as I end my call to Flynn and hang up. The sun is already up and I have spoken to him for more than four hours. Fuck, I was convinced it were just those pregnancy hormones that made Ana cranky for the last two weeks, but evidently there is a lot more going on with my wife and I had no fucking clue.

Kate and John tried to convince that it had nothing to do with me and she just blamed me because I was there, but in some ways she had a point. If we would've never met Elena wouldn't have kidnapped her, her knee would still be good and she could still be doing her dancing, I would never have bought SIP and in turn Hyde would never have anything to do with her. Maybe her life would have been easier and much less of a drama if we wouldn't have met, but I can't think that way. I'm selfish, I love her more than life itself and only the thought of us not being together has me in cold sweat.

I rub my hands through my hair and try to gather my thoughts when I hear a soft knock at the door.

"Not now, leave me alone!" I snap. Shit, I can't talk to anyone right now. All I need is Ana back here so that we can somehow figure this out.

"Christian?" Hearing Ana's voice I jump up and turn around. She is leaning against the door frame, looking anywhere but at me and I can tell from the look on her face and the way she is standing there that she feels guilty as hell. My natural instinct would be to pull her in my arms and tell her all is good, but I hesitate. If she pushes me away or takes a step back to stop me from touching her I will lose it. So, I just keep looking at her.

"I ... umm... if this is a bad time I can go back to the hotel and you can call me if you want to talk ... I'm sorry I should not have come back here" she mutters and turns around and suddenly I'm fucking pissed. This is exactly what has gotten us to this point. She wants to talk yet she thinks I don't so she wants to leave and wait for a better timing.

"Ana, get your ass in here and sit down. You came back to talk, so this is what we are going to do now!" Fuck now I'm sounding like an asshole, but at least she comes back in and sits down on the sofa, not daring to look up at me.

Fuck, this is not how we should have this talk. If she is too scared to even look at me, how the hell can I expect her to be open with me. I take a deep breath and count to ten before I open them again. I grab my chair and pull it to the sofa, so we can face each other.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you. I just want you to talk to me. Please look at me Ana." she hesitates for a moment, but finally looks up and her eyes show nothing but fear. Okay, let's get to the most important question first.

"I need to know the answer to one question first, Ana. Do you still want to be wife, because if you want to leave. If all that has happened is too much for you and you are unhappy being married to me ... if you don't love me anymore, I'm not forcing you to stay. I love you with all my heart, but I'm not forcing you to stay if being with me is tearing you apart.I want you happy and to live the life you want to have, even if it means that I have to let you go" Fuck, there I said it. Oh god, please don't leave me.

"I don't want to leave you ... I ... I was just so angry and scared and shocked, but I love you Christian, you are the most important person in the world to me. I don't want to leave you, please believe me." she sobs and this time I don't hesitate to pull her into my arms and hold her.

"It's okay baby, that's the most important thing, if we both want to stay together we can fix the rest, but you have to talk to me. There is nothing I would wish I could do more than to be able to read your mind, but I can't. So I have to trust you, that you will tell me if something is bothering you, when you are scared or upset, because otherwise I can't help you. So, tell me why didn't you talk to me about what is going on?"

"I don't know. I guess I was scared and never found the right time and I'm so used to be the one who has to keep it all together that I was just worried you would love me less if I couldn't do that all the time"

"Ana, there is next to nothing you could do to make me love you less. I want to be the one you can come to at any times. You are my number one priority and if you need to talk I want you to come to me. So, why do you feel like you have to keep everything together?"

"Because that's what I'm doing all my life. You know, I always wanted to believe that I have the perfect family, but we were never a perfect or happy family. I could hear my parents fight almost every night, I knew that my mom loved me more than my siblings and I just tried to keep my family together, take care of my siblings and I couldn't even manage to do that."

"Ana, it's not your job to keep your parents together. They are grown ups and to be honest, Ray is better off without your mother. Why do you feel like this is your responsibility?"

"I don't know, maybe because I'm the oldest or maybe because as a child I was scared that if I don't keep my family together Ray would take my younger siblings and leave, because I was not his child. I really don't know and now they are going to get a divorce, my mom doesn't care about any of us, Jenny is sick and all I can think about is where I failed or if I could have done something differently to keep my family from falling apart." Shit, this is what she thinks? That it is her fault?

"Baby, it's not your fault, your parents weren't happy as a couple, for a long time as it seems, there is nothing you could have done to keep them together Ana. And your sister has a mental disease, this is not your fault, people have these kind of diseases and there is nothing you could have done to prevent it from happening."

"But what about Patrick?"

"Baby, your brother is happy as shit to live with us. He told me that growing up you were more of a mother to him than Carla ever was, he is the last person you need to worry about. I mean his grades are all much better since he lives with us, he loves his new school, he has a girlfriend and he can see his dad when ever he wants to, honestly your parents separating and him moving in with us was the best thing that could have happened to him."

I look at her and I can tell what ever she is going to say next is something that is not easy for her to ask.

"Are you happy that he is living with us? You know, I know it was you who came up with it, but sometimes I think you only did it to make me happy and you know, that you would have liked for us to be alone a little longer."

Wow, I never expected her to ask me that, I'm not offended, but doesn't she realise how much I like her brother. Though thinking about it for a second I realise how insecure she really is.

"Baby, if I didn't want your brother to live with us, he wouldn't live with us. It's simple, I love your brother, honestly I see him like he is my little brother, too. I like having him around, so don't worry about that."

"Okay"

"So, what else worries you?"

"I ... I don't feel safe with Ryan and Reynolds. Never did" She murmurs.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because, well, I don't know ... no, that's not right. Look when Prescott and Luke got fired as my CPO's and you told me that you wanted me to carry a gun. And ... and it made me feel like you knew they are worthless and I had to defend myself if something was to happen, but they were the only guys we had to do the job."

I take a moment to let that sink in and try to put myself in her position, like John told me I should do when she would finally open up to me. And as I do I realise she is right. Hell, I would fire Taylor if he would tell me I had to carry a gun to protect myself if something would happen I would fire his ass as it is his job to protect me.

"Okay, wow, I didn't think about it that way when I asked you to get a gun, but actually you are right. I would feel the same way if the roles were reversed. So, since Ryan and Reynolds got fired, tell me what kind of CPO's you need to feel safe when you leave the house?"

I try to hide my smile, she looks so embarrassed. "I want two guys who are as tall as trees and look like they eat babies for breakfast. You know two of those guys who look so mean you would piss your pants if you would meet them in a dark alley at night."

"And you think you could deal with having guys like that following you around?"

"When I had Luke and Prescott I wanted them to be my friends so it wouldn't bug me to have them following me around, but I know now that I was wrong. I don't need them to be my friends, because if they are they will give me more space and freedom which makes me vulnerable to all those nutjobs and the paps out there. I don't care if my CPO's are nice as long as they do their job, because for the last couple of months I didn't feel safe going out without you and Taylor or my dad and I absolutely hate it. I just want to be able to meet with the team from the center, have lunch with Mia or Kate or go shopping without feeling like I have to constantly look for potential dangers."

"Good, then we have to find the right guys for the job. Taylor recently hired two former CIA agents and is looking into two more guys who worked for homeland security, you can meet them and if you don't think they are right we hire someone else. Until we find them how would you feel about me taking one of the other security guys as CPO and Taylor can follow you."

"I would like that. I trust him and I feel safer with only him around than I did with two CPO's."

"Good, then that is what will happen. You see baby, we can fix all of this you just have to be open and talk to me. I want you to feel safe and be happy, but I can't help you if you tell me all is fine when it isn't. So, what else is on your mind."

"I'm still worried that you will think I won't be a good mother for Teddy. I know we talked about this and I told you I'm good, but it never left my mind. I keep thinking that I will do something wrong and you think I'm bad mother and then you take Teddy away from me."

Ana starts to cry again and now I feel like shit. I never wanted her to feel like this. She is going to be a great mother, I know that. But, I guess after questioning her abilities at more than one occasion over my own insecurities I can't blame her to think that way. I thought when she forgave me we were good on this topic, but now I know she most likely forgave me that quickly, because she just wanted to make me feel better about my outbursts.

"Baby, I know what I said, but I thought you realised that I didn't really mean it. Why didn't you tell me about this when we were talking to John about it?"

"Because I saw that you felt bad about saying it and I didn't want you to feel that way."

"Ana, you can't just say we are good to make me feel better while you are still upset about it. That's not very honest and I think we have seen now how it ends if you keep bottling all those emotions up inside. I mean, I get it. I used to deal with shit exactly the same way, you saw me trash the penthouse at Escala twice and it was you who told me I needed to talk and find other ways to keep me in balance and you know what, you were right. I never believed that talking about all that shit would help me, but since I am talking about I feel so much better. If you have something on your mind, come to me and we talk, but don't tell me we are good just to make me feel better."

"I'll try, it's just I'm worried at one point you will be sick of me complaining or being scared or ... what ever. I don't want you to see me as a burden."

"Baby, you are my wife, you are not a burden. And if there is anything that worries you, makes you upset or scares you. I want to be the first person you come to. We are a team baby, I don't have any seconds thoughts about coming to you if I need you, because I know you love me and want me to come to you. Can't you see that it is the same for you. You don't ever have to worry about telling me how you feel, because I want you to talk to me. If we want to make our marriage work for the rest of our life we have to be able to talk about everything. I don't know how to convince you that I know you will be a good mother, but if I have to I will try to reassure you every day, because I know you will. It's in your nature baby, you love to take care of people and once you love someone you make this person feel so special, loved and cared for, there is no way you won't be exactly like that with our child and all the children we might have in the future."

"I'll try." she whispers.

"I know, but Ana ... I don't know if you'll like this idea, but I think it would be good for you if you would see John. I'm not implying that anything is wrong with you, but I think it will help you to learn how to communicate your concerns and needs more openly."

Ana looks at me and nods. "Actually, I was thinking about this for a while now, especially after all the Hyde drama, but I didn't want you to worry about me."

"Do you worry about me because I'm seeing him?"

"No, I know it helps you."

"See baby, I'm not worried if you want to see John. I'm glad if it helps you deal with the stress in our life."

"Good, and since we are already talking about doctors there is something else, I know when you asked me if I wanted to change my OB/GYN I told you I like Dr. Greene, but I would like to see someone else. Ever since we went to her because I lost weight I feel like she thinks I'm doing something wrong or don't stick to her advise. I thought she is right to treat me like this, but I would feel better to see someone else. Kate sees a young doctor and she is really happy with her. If you don't mind I would like to call her and ask if she can take me on as her patient."

"If it means I never have to see this awful woman again I couldn't be happier and Ana, if someone makes you feel like that I want to know. Jesus with all that you just told me plus what happened tonight it's a miracle you didn't lose it weeks ago."

"There is one more thing, I wanted to tell you earlier, get your opinion but we promised each other not to talk about stressful topics, so I tried to deal with it myself, but I really need your advise."

Suddenly Ana looks really desperate, so I pull her onto my lap and turn her so we can look at each other.

"Talk to me, tell me what has happened."

"Ray is my biological father." she gets the words out in a rush and I can feel her entire body relaxing as if a huge weight is lifted off of her.

"I... umm... I don't understand Ana, I thought Ray and Carla met after you were born."

"I know, that's what they told me, but in reality he knew my mother before and also Frank Lambert, they were at a party together and my mom and Frank got into a fight, he left and Ray stayed to look after her. They got completely shit faced and woke up the next morning in his bed together. They didn't see each other again until after Frank Lambert had passed away. My dad suspected that I am his daughter, but mom insisted that Frank Lambert was my father and he decided to let it go. Frank Lambert was dead and he was the only father I would ever know, but after my accident he got more suspicious. My siblings have his blood type not my moms and when I needed blood it turned out I had his blood type, too. So, he decided to do a paternity test and it came back positive. He never told my mom until Jenny was admitted to the mental facility. She blamed him for it, talking about bad genes or something like that and he snapped and told her I am his daughter, too.

I guess this is why she doesn't care about me anymore. To her I was always the one thing that kept her connected to the love of her life. Now she has nothing left from him but her memories. I asked my dad to give me some time to think about this and I was mad that he waited so long to tell me, but in the end he is still my dad, nothing has changed."

"Have you talked to Ray about it?"

"No, and I feel bad about it, but it's not just that he is my biological father, it's also the Lambert money, I'm not Frank Lambert's daughter, so I have no right to keep his money. There are no other living Lambert's so I don't know what to do with it, the logical thing would be to give it to my mother. But can you even imagine what she would do with it? It would give me nightmares and she would probably manage to do the impossible and spend it all. Also if I give it away how am I going to finance my child's center and the money I have put away for Jenny and Patrick, I want them to have it, well Patrick anyway, my dad will have to supervise the money for Jenny. And what if she is wants the money back that I have already spend? I have no idea how to deal with this, what am I going to do Christian?"

Christ, I was sure she must have had many things on her mind, but honestly, I'm surprised she hasn't completely lost her mind with all that she kept from me.

"Well, first talk to Ray, you two love each other so much, this should only bring you even closer and not make you drift apart. About the money, hell, I'm not sure. Giving it to Carla; the way she is acting at the moment, it would feel like flushing it down the toilet, besides if I were Frank Lambert I wouldn't want a woman who made me believe another man's child was mine have all my money. If you don't feel like keeping it you could put it into a foundation, like the Frank-Lambert-Foundation and this way the foundations could still give money for the child's center and the money would go to many other charities or support research or what ever you like. I can help you with that and I'm sure my parents will know even better what to do. Leave the money for your siblings out. If your sister will need help for the rest of her life she will need it and your brother will put it to good use anyway. If Carla tries to make any trouble we can offer her some money and let her sign an agreement in exchange, this way she can't come back to get more."

"I like the idea of a foundation, though I really don't want to get anything into motion before Teddy is born. I just hope my mom doesn't try something before."

"If she does let me deal with her. You had enough stress to last a lifetime baby, we really need to get you relaxed." I murmur and kiss her neck.

"Lately, I have almost forgotten how it feels to be relaxed, there is so much going on in my mind that my head feels like it's about to explode and every time I allow myself to at least relax a little bit something else comes up. And the paps are driving me crazy, it's like they have never seen a pregnant woman before and umm ... promise me you won't get mad."

"I promise to try not to get mad. You know if they have done something to you, I might get mad, but not at you it's at them."

"Last month when I was shopping for some new maternity clothes a female paparazzi tried to snap a picture of me changing, that's why I have Caroline Acton send new clothes to the house and I would really like to go out and pick things myself, but I don't want pictures of me half dressed all over the tabloids."

I have to close my eyes and take a deep breath. Fucking Ryan and Reynolds never told me anything about it.

"I deal with it Ana, how about we call some boutique's and have them open early for you. You could take Mia and Kate and pick some new clothes. I can accompany you, too."

"That would be great, but there is one more thing we need to talk about." she says and even I feel stressed out by now. How much more can she possibly have on her mind?

"Go on." I encourage her and she cups my face in her hands. "I am sorry, for telling you that it is all your fault and that I am sick of you. I don't even know why I did that. I love you so much, I could never get sick of you. I was just so angry I couldn't think or see straight. You know that I love you, right?"

"Yes, I know baby. But for both our sake I won't let you bottle up everything that bothers you inside of you. I want to grow old with you and if you keep doing this you end up dying of a heart attack or stroke way to early. So, going forward I want to try something." I tell her, this was actually a suggestion from John and knowing now what my wife has on her mind on a daily basis I think this we will be good for us. "Starting tomorrow we will take 20 minutes out of our day every day where we will just sit down together without any interruption and talk about what happened during the day and if one of us needs more time we take it. There is nothing you can't come to me and talk about Ana, so until I feel you are comfortable with talking to me about everything that is going on in this pretty head of yours, we will have a daily talk date. Also I want us to see John together when we are back in Seattle, I think we both need it."

She nods and leans her head against my chest. "Good, so is there anything else you want to tell me?"

"I think that was all, at least there is nothing more that comes to my mind. Wow, I didn't even know myself that there was so much going on in my mind, but once I started to talk it felt like it came just flowing out of me" she muses and I kiss the top of her head.

"And how do you feel now?"

"A lot better"

"See baby, and this is why you always have to talk to me. You don't have to keep it together for me or anyone else. You have as much right to be scared or upset from time to time as anyone else has and it doesn't make me love you any less."

"Okay, so are we good?" she asks hesitantly and I lift her chin with my index finger and press a kiss to her lips.

"Yes, but I'm serious when I say you have to talk to me. You don't need to sugarcoat me and try to deal with everything yourself. Seeing you walk away from me scared the hell out of me, I don't want that to happen ever again."

"Me neither."

"Good, then we are good and we will put what has happened behind us. Now, what would you like to do?"

"I'm hungry and tired."

"Well, then let's have breakfast first and lie down for a while afterwards." I put her to her feet get up and take her hand to leave my study, but she stops.

"Christian, can we lie down in one of the guest rooms, I don't want to go back in the master bedroom. Actually, I'm not even sure if I will be able to sleep alone in any room for a while."

"We can take a nap in one of the guest rooms, would you feel better if we would go home tonight?"

"Yes, I'm sorry that I have ruined this trip."

"Baby, it wasn't you who has ruined this trip, it was fucking Hyde, even thinking about him touching you ... " I close my eyes and take a deep breath "If he wasn't dead already I would have killed him myself."

"Please don't talk like that Christian, he is gone, to me that's all that counts. I might need some sessions with John to talk about it, but I really want to put all of this Hyde drama behind us. Even thinking about him creeps me out. Oh, and I would like to call Kate's doctor tomorrow, after all that has happened I want her to check on Teddy."

"Shit, is something wrong with him, have you felt him today?" I know I sound panicked, but I can't help it.

"No, everything is fine, here" she takes my hand and places it over her belly. " See, he is moving right now. I just want to make sure he is okay, lately I feel like he is kicking me in at least five different places at the same time and I look like I'm ready to give birth. I'm just a little worried if everything is fine."

"Okay, we call her tomorrow and see her. Maybe Flynn can come over to our place after that so you can talk to him."

"Sounds good." We walk arm in arm into the kitchen where Kate and Mia are cooking breakfast while Elliot and Luke are sitting at the breakfast bar.

"Hey look at that hurricane Ana is back, are you good or do we need to nail everything down so you can't throw it at us" Elliot jokes and I want to punch him, but Kate and Mia beat me to it by giving him both a smack on the back of his head. And suddenly I hear Ana giggle next to me and I realise that I haven't heard her giggling for a while now. I look down at her and smile.

"I think I'm good Elliot and ... umm... sorry, you know about nearly throwing a cup in your face."

"Don't worry, I'm married to Kate so I'm used to getting things thrown at me" he winks and we all have to laugh when Kate throws a dish scrubber at him.

"See" he chuckles and we all sit down.

"Kate, did you cook?" Ana asks surprised. "Yup, I took a cooking class before the wedding, but I didn't tell anyone, because I didn't know if it would work, so far breakfast is my specialty the rest, well I'm working on it."

She nods we all sit down and I watch Ana take the tiniest bit of pancake onto her fork and eyeing it suspiciously.

"What, come on, it's eatable, I promise" Kate laughs, but I'm a little wary, too. I have heard too many stories about her cooking, but to my surprise it's good. Ana and I finish our breakfast and I take her into one of the guest rooms where we lie down on the bed together.

"Are you really okay, Christian?" Ana wants to know and I roll my eyes at her.

"Baby, I told you I am fine. Stop worrying about me and start to think a little more about yourself. I love you, nothing has changed Ana."

"Promise?" I sigh and lean closer to kiss her. "What do I have to do to convince you? Pinky swear?" I ask and she giggles.

"Okay, I believe you. I just don't want you to think that I love you any less than I always did."

"I know that baby, and I love you. Now close those beautiful eyes and get some rest, you need it and so do I."

I kiss her again and holding her close we both fall asleep while I'm silently praying that from now on she will really be open about all that goes through her mind, because I never want to see her walk out on my like this or have feel like she has to deal with all that shit on her own...

I won't be able to update before Thursday or Friday again, as I have to update my other story first ... next chapters will have less drama, just some family time and a big surprise ... for those of you who can put together the clues I have planted over the last 6 chapters, you might be able to know what the surprise for Ana and Christian is going to be...