"Hi guys, It's Mike and Yinshen here, reporting to you from Gongmen harbor, and today we're here to bring you the greatest news update of all time. Former Lord of Gongmen city and well known mad man, Shen the peacock has fallen to the greatest and most powerful warrior of our time, Po the dragon warrior! Yinshen, if you could fill in our audience on the details please"?
"Gladly Mike. I'm standing at the very edge of Gongmen harbor where about a dozen or so warships have been destroyed including Shens flagship within mere minutes. How is this possible? Witnesses claim some form of witchcraft while others are calling it the work of the Gods as well respected member of the Jade palace, Po the panda was seen hurling cannonballs originally fired from Shens warships back at them. Unfortunatley we are unable to get anything from the Dragon warrior as of yet but we will keep you updated".
"Thank you Yinshen. So, there you have it folks. China is safe from the tyrany of a maniac thanks to the power of the dragon war"-
"This is Yinshen here, rudely interuptting my co-host here to bring you breaking news! Latest updates are saying that the dragon warrior has saved Shen's life! I repeat! The peacock warlord is still alive"!
"What a twist! You heard it here first folks! Shen the warlord is alive thanks to none other than the dragon warrior! We have reports of haters calling bullshit and fangirls squealing with delight as they send their marriage requests! Join us for more after the break"!
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"Wait, did you just call me the co-host"?...
A saving Shen story. By noonegivesacareanymore
"Okay, so... how do we do this"? Mike asks as he and Yinshen are now trapped in an old abandoned hut, charged with looking after an unconcious Lord Shen until he arrives at the Jade palace.
"Well the first step is to nurse this guy back to health. Then we transport him to the Jade palace where he is expected to redeem himself by training with Po and the five until he becomes good. You know, like all the other Shen surviving stories".
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"Yeah, we could do that... or we could just leave this hut and never return. I vote the second option".
"Mike"... Yinshen speaks in a cautious tone. "You know we can't just do that. If we did then there'd be no story to tell. I'm afraid we have to do this".
"Yeah but... this is Shen. You know, the warlord that wanted to enslave China. Why would anybody, with a functioning brain want to look after this nut"?
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"Yeah, that's kind of a good point".
"Yeah come on let's get out of here".
Without any further argument, the two got up and headed towards the door.
"See? Don't you feel better now"? Mike smiled.
"Yeah, I guess so. Only an idiot would save Shen's life".
"You know, you should listen to my ideas more often".
"Yeah not really, no".
*cough cough*
"Scuse you".
"Uh Mike? That wasn't me".
"What? Then who... ah shit"...
"Help... me...". Came the croaking voice of the now awake peacock.
"Ugh... one minute, I'll deal with this". Mike sighed miserably before slithering over to the nearest tool rack and pulling off a pitchfork, slithered back over to Shen and held the head of the pitchfork at his throat in a very menacing and deliberate way.
"Don't even think about it Mike". Yinshen warned, pulling the weapon from the pythons grasp.
"What? Think of it as me putting him out of his misery. That's got to help, right"?
Yinshen glared dissapprovingly.
"We can't leave him now that he's awake Mike. Unconcious we could have just believed that he was dead. Now that we know he's up and croaking it's our duty to look after him".
"But... but"... Mike tried retorting, quickly knowing this was a battle he couldn't win. "UGH! Fine! But I swear to God if I have to change his bedpan, I will take that pitchfork and kill all three of us"!
"Baby"... Yinshen muttered.
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"By the way, I don't suppose you know how to heal someone in this sort of condition, do you"?
"No idea... I guess we'd need painkillers"...
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"Mike"?
"Yeah"?
"Don't you think we may need to treat a near dead being with something a little more useful than painkillers"?
"Uh, I'm sorry, do I look like a god damn doctor to you? What's your persciption then Miss I know everything because I'm Yinshen, huh"?
"Well wiping and bandaging his open wounds would be a good start don't you think"?
"Yeah, great. Except we don't have either of those things".
"Then go and buy some".
Mike says nothing more as he slithers out of the hut, muttering something rude as he does. It takes about half an hour before he returns with bandages and wipes. When he does, he finds that Shen is now able to speak, mostly threatening Yinshen as she reads a book.
"- And once I'm back to full strength, I'll end you and everyone you love"!
"That's nice"... Yinshen replied, not taking her eyes off of her book.
"And where's my robe!? What have you done with it"!?
"Threw it out cause it was ruined and stunk of peacock"...
"I demand better treatment than this ruined hut, you witch"!
"Good for you"...
"So... I see he's in a good mood then"? Mike spoke up. Shen took notice of the python.
"Ah, finally! You! snake! Tend to my wounds at once"!
"What, no please"? Mike mocked, much to the peacock's anger. "Just stay still and I'll treat your wounds, alright"?
Nothing more was said as Mike wasted no time wiping the blood off of Shen's feathers and applying the bandages. Unfortunatley Shen did not seem to be making things easy for him as, like with Yinshen, he barraged Mike with insult upon insult. The only difference being that Mike was quickly becoming irritated by it.
"I need a pillow to rest on! A pillow made of the rarest silk in China! Do you hear me you cretin"!?
"Where are my knifes and metal talons you imbeciele"?!
"I could fall asleep faster than you wrapping those bandages, you pathetic waste of life"!
*PUNCH*
"You"-
*PUNCH*
"-Call this"-
*PUNCH*
"-Beating someone to death you weakling"?!
*PUNCH*
"Mike"... Yinshen's voice rang out in a scolding tone. "We do not punch warlords in the face no matter how irritating they are".
"Hey, he's the one assaulting me"!
"Yeah, verbally. Look, I'll take over for a bit okay? You just make sure that noone knows that Shen is alive".
"Alright alright. I can do that".
Yinshen, having read enough of her book, gets up and walks over to Shen and checks his pulse while Mike heads outside. Once's he's outside...
*PUNCH*
"That's for calling me a witch by the way".
So for the next week. The next long... agonizing... stress inducing week... Shen finally had enough strength to be transported to the Jade Palace. Unfortunatley it didn't mean to say that Mike and Yinshen were done just yet as they needed to sneak Shen past Gongmen's city center. Yeah, despite living in an old abandoned hut they still need to sneak Shen through the very centre of the city. To do this, the two have managed to cover the peacock with a large white cloth... and that's about it. It was enough so that people wouldn't recognise him. So far, the peacock has managed to make it more than halfway through the city centre with both his Panther and python doctors escorting him. Thankfully there had been no incidents so far. Yet it still wasn't making Shen any easier to manage as he complained more and more. This time about having a chariot to move him around instead of travelling the 'peasant' way as he called it.
"You two are the worst doctors ever! I demand a faster way of travelling through the city! Do you hear me"!?
"Hey uh, Grandma? Shut the hell up before I send you to the afterlife a little quicker, okay"?
"How dare you talk to me like that snake! Are you even aware of who you're speaking to"?!
"Yeah, the asshole who keeps constantly complaining over things we can't provide him".
"Watch your mouth you worm! If I could I would destroy you in a instant"!
"Yinshen? Please tell me we're almost there"?
"Almost, thank the Gods".
A few minutes passed and eventually the two had escorted Shen out of the city safely. Waiting for them was a wagon as well as Po who waved them over. They obleiged and met the smiling panda at the wagon.
"Ah, thanks guys. This really means a lot to me". Po spoke cheerfully as he took Shen off of their hands, metaphorically in Mikes case.
"Yeah yeah, no problem". Mike spoke with less enthusiasm. "We are getting paid for this, right"?
"Oh! Well, uh... I'm kind of a bit... short on coins at the moment. So... how's an IOU sound"? Po smiled sheepishly.
"Aw come on, really? After being such a good doctor to this guy you're going to do me over like that"?
"You tried to murder him with a pitchfork and nearly beat the guy into a coma on the first day".
"Um, excuse me Yinshen, but you hit him too"!
"Yeah, once. And he deserved it".
"Uh, guys...? Over here"? Po interuptted nervously, trying to break up the two before they could do anything they'd regret.
"Right. So. What's next if you don't mind us asking"? Yinshen asked curiously.
"Well... hopefully Shen will be... y'know, a bit more cooperative"-
"Yeah good luck with that". Mike chuckled, earning him a whack to the back of the head from Yinshen.
"- and then... we'll be able to rehabilitae him into using his skill for good! Maybe"...
"You know, after everything the guy did to you. I'm surprised you even want to do this". Mike brought up.
"Well, yeah. I mean, at first I was horrified, but... after I stopped him I learned that I had to forgive him and move on".
"You... forgave him? Just like that"?
"Well, that's what Inner peace does". Po smiled with confidence. "Who knows? Maybe you two will be the same one day".
Both Mike and Yinshen raised an eye at Po's words before looking towards each other. Shortly after the two burst out laughing, much to the pandas surprise.
"Oh my God are you serious"?! Mike giggled with tears nearly coming out of his eyes.
"Yeah, come on big guy, stop joking around". Yinshen also replied, covering her mouth with a paw as she tried to stop laughing.
"You really think that HE/SHE"-. Mike and Yinshen replied at the same time, pointing to each other. "-Could learn inner peace?! Yeah right"!
Po continued to smile.
"Well, even the worst of us can learn and try".
Giving only a nod, Po turned and began to pull the light wagon to the harbor to transport Shen back by boat as it would be the quickest way. As the wagon got smaller and smaller, Mike suddenly realized something.
"Hold on. Did Po just insult us"?
"He sure did". Yinshen smirked. "Who'd have thought he had it in him"?
"Wow. I don't know whether to be impressed or feel as though I've hit a new low".
"Oh grow up Mike".
"So... what happens now"?
"Well... most of these Shen surviving stories don't usually make it to the end so... it's a mystery really. Who knows what'll happen"?
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"He's gonna fail".
"Big time"...
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Hey guys, here's the next chapter up and running. So... I may or may not have gotten a teeny bit distracted after downloading Pokémon Go since a week and a half ago... and still am ^^; (caught 46 different types of Pokémon btw) but anyway, I've managed to pry my eyes off of it for a moment and decided to finish and post this chapter. Be sure to ask for request guys cause I'm out of ideas for the moment. Hope you enjoyed reading and I'll see you in the next chapter. Cheerio!