62

When I drop Marie off, Izzy comes out to the car.

"How's Jimmy?" I ask as she slides into the seat beside me and pulls the door closed.

"He's okay, I gave him some Tylenol and he's sleeping now."

I nod.

"Thanks for staying with Marie," she says. I look at her and she's watching me closely.

"It's fine. She's a nice girl; good company," I say honestly.

"You were longer than I thought you'd be."

"She said you'd planned to drive out to the beach after dinner so I said I'd take her instead."

Izzy looks down at her lap. I sigh loudly.

"Look, do you have something to say? Only I have the feeling you're getting at something here."

She raises her head and looks me squarely in the eye.

"I saw the way you were looking at her all through dinner," she says.

I let my head drop back against the seat.

"Izzy, nothing happened."

"You like her though."

"Yeah, she's nice, I said that."

"I mean you like her, like her."

I rub my hands down my face in exasperation and turn in my seat to face her.

"Izzy, she's your cousin. You really think I'd do that to you?"

"I did it to you," she says, her voice barely audible.

"Yeah, and it hurt like fuck. There's no way, Iz."

She stares straight ahead.

"Don't be mad at me," I say. "If I hurt your feelings, I'm sorry, I was kind of blindsided tonight."

"Me too."

"She reminds me of you. A lot. Only without the shitty past hanging over us."

"It always comes back to this," she says, dabbing at her eyes with her sleeve.

"I'm doing my best. Some days are fine, but others it leaps up in my face and rips a chunk out of me."

"I don't know if we're just wasting our time here." She looks away from me, out of the window to her right.

"Maybe we both need some time out," I say. "I feel like we've got ourselves in knots already. I need time to unravel everything and start over."

"Whatever. I'm kind of tired." She reaches for the door catch and I reach for her.

"Hey, I never said I was giving up," I tell her, an unexpected bubble of panic at her sudden laissez-faire attitude, rising within me.

"I know," she says, shrugging me off as she opens the door. "I need to check on Jimmy. Goodnight."

She climbs out and closes the door behind her and the living room curtain moves aside. Marie lifts her hand in a wave that I return, but my eyes linger this time on Izzy as she walks back inside the house.

~S~