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We're both silent for a while, and then she speaks again.
"Those are all of my reasons, I can't say anything more, because that's it. It sounds ridiculous now."
"Are you still scared?" I ask, genuinely curious.
"Yeah, but I hope I'm mature enough to try and deal with it now, rather than running away. Sometimes we have to take risks, right?"
"I wouldn't be here with you if I didn't believe in taking risks, would I?" Letting her close again is the biggest risk I've taken in a long time.
"You still see me as a risk?"
"I can't help it. I've been burned too badly in the past. It's a learned response."
"I guess we both just need time to prove ourselves," she says.
"I guess so. I also like to think the reason we're both so scared is because we feel we have something to lose."
Silence again, but this time I'm the one to break it.
"Do you remember when my dad left?"
"I remember how bad I felt for you. I thought you had the perfect family, then suddenly your dad's gone, your mom's a mess and your brother is out partying twenty-four seven."
"You were there. You were the only one that was. You saved me."
She smiles.
"I've never saved anyone in my life, I'm the one that pushes people to the edge."
"I wouldn't have been around to be pushed to the edge if you hadn't saved me first. I'm serious."
She looks at me, the weight of the frown that has settled as she listened to me, lifting.
"You really believe that," she says. She had no idea.
"There's no doubt in my mind. You kept me afloat, I've never forgotten that."
~S~