75

"Mom, I have something I need to talk to you about."

We've just had dinner and she's sitting beside Sasha while she finishes hers. She looks up at me with concern on her face.

"Is everything okay?" she asks.

"Yeah, everything's good, but I need you to feel the same way."

"Go on."

"I've been dating Izzy."

I watch as her expression tightens and she turns to fuss over wiping Sasha's hands and face clean, even though she's still eating.

"This isn't going to go away," I tell her. "She's going to be around more, so it's going to be awkward for you and horrible for her if you don't at least make some kind of effort."

"Why her? I just don't understand, after everything she did."

"You know nothing about her other than the parts that reflected badly on me. You never asked; you never wanted to know."

She laughs.

"I doubt there's anything you could tell me that would change the way I feel about what she did to you."

"That girl had to raise herself from twelve years old because her mom worked all hours to keep a roof over their heads and food on the table. She was never home to see who Izzy was going out with or what she was doing. Is it any wonder she made bad choices? She was just a kid."

"We all make bad choices when we're young, Edward, it's part of growing up. What we don't all do is drag others down with us."

"She wasn't all bad."

My jaw is clenching and my heart has speeded up. I know she's going to force me to go there.

"Ha! Well I didn't see much good."

"You know why that is? Because the times that she was good to me was when you were passed out from pills with your head on your desk. Who do you think cared for me when Dad had gone and Em was out and you were like a zombie? I carried you to bed every night for a year and a half, Mom. Just because you don't see something happening, it doesn't mean it isn't going on."

I turn and leave the room, leaving my words hanging. I don't regret saying them, but I'm sorry it came down to this.

I'm watching TV on the couch fifteen minutes later, when she walks in with Sasha, sets her down on the floor and clicks the TV off.

"I had no idea," she says as she sits gently next to me.

"I know."

"Why didn't you say something?" she asks.

I shrug.

"I was a teenage boy. We're emotionally stunted enough with the normal stuff, how did you expect me to raise that one?"

She nods and I think she gets it.

"You're serious about this girl?"

"She's changed so much. Her mom died and she's raised her brother from a baby. She's really turned things around."

She's quiet as she processes my words.

"I don't expect you to welcome her with open arms," I add. "But it would mean a lot to me if you'd at least give her a chance, if only so you can be in the same room and not bring an atmosphere with you."

She nods.

"I'm going to need a little time," she says.

"We've got time," I assure her.

~S~