~Ahsoka II~

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Ahsoka was still reeling from it all, trying to unearth sense where none seemed willing to be found. She stepped away from the holobooth with a small flicker of hope that had been stoked by the conversation with Barriss. It was a welcome reprieve at that moment. When her thoughts were chaos and her insides were churning with unrelenting questions and the beginnings of a deep seated resentment.

The game against her felt shadowed and slick as the wet-heat night, as bracing as the scent of the refuge at her feet, and foreign. She had played games before. She had looked hardship in the eyes many times and laughed- if not then, afterwards. This was different. Uncertainty in a situation had more times than not been a shared grin, a shoulder swat, a rolling of the eyes.

But she had never been so deeply uncertain of herself before, and it was a grim mouth and twinging chest and so newly and strangely, alone.

When she turned to speak to the other woman who stood a few feet away, form forboding and eyes eerie in the shadows, it was an image made all the more powerful because it was the seal to a reality Ahsoka wanted no part of.

She still didn't entirely know what had spurred her to ask Ventress for aid. Perhaps it truly was the betrayal they shared, and perhaps it was more than that. Deep down maybe there was this instinct to be with and connect to someone, anyone, in the darkest of times. Maybe everyone strived to not be alone in those kinds of moments.

Whatever the reason, it was a comfort to have someone there, hovering behind her with interest of some kind, even if it wasn't from a compassionate perspective, even if it was Ventress.

"Well?" The once-sith drawled, arms crossed and feigning disinterest, but Ahsoka could feel the true curiosity of her through the force. She had the feeling of someone who had long since grown bored and had just reignited a spark which was being cloyed at desperately. The pale woman had reacted further to the mention of the warehouse Barriss revealed and Ahsoka let her heart jump. In the closing darkness, Bariss was a thread of light she held tightly to and was deeply thankful for. And Ventress was another, whether she realized or Ahsoka fully admitted it or not.

"I can get you there."

A small spark of hope.

But they were surrounded before either placed a step and Ventress took up a defensive stance as Ahsoka brought her own hands up and fell into one of her own. The sound of boots on the premacrete and gloved hands on blasters were around them and Ahsoka cursed herself for not sensing anything sooner. More than anything else, right then this was precisely what she didn't want to see or hear, or take part in again.

The armored men who once were beacons of comraderie now stood before her as enemies in a role reversal that still felt far too sinister, too strange. It had been a hard lump to swallow back at the security complex and it was difficult still. A fraction of disbelief lingered in the recesses of her mind, although her chest burned with a rekindled fury. The feeling of being hunted wasn't one that sat well with her, and to have it done by men she once served with was a harsh blow. Disorientating.

Like the tall, thin woman who had instictively placed herself between the Togruta and them, still at her side.

And the feelings that came to her like harsh whispers from the men who now formed a semi-circle around them. There was an inner turmoil present among them, which rolled off them in waves, catching and fizzling the air. She knew Ventress could feel it as well and that she was equally puzzled.

It came so powerfully from those on her left that Ahsoka was baffled for a moment before she realized why. When she recognized them a breath later the memories of their meeting and company played in her mind. Games and food and children and force-touch and animated awkward farewells.

Yet, even they, in spite of their hesitation and familiarity, were still there with the intent to take her in. Commander Wolffe stepped forward and her attention fell to him. Another familiar force-beat. Another friend, with his blasters leveled at her.

It hurt as much as it made her angry and for a moment she was furious.

Her thoughts and heart clenched with betrayal, her mind drifted back to the complex and her escape. When everyone had hunted her down without giving her a chance to explain, not even asking or questioning. When they had fired frantic shots at her, called arms against her, surrounded her like this.

Even Rex. That was a sour thought and she pushed it away immediately, forcing herself to focus. Just focus.

Whatever it was that made them hesitate, familiarity or disbelief or something else, they hadn't rained fire upon her on sight, and she decided to pursue that. Maybe they could be reasoned with.

"Listen to me. I don't want to fight."

"I do." Ventress goaded, closing her helmet.

A bristle went through Commander Wolffe as she spoke and his fingers tightened on his blaster, although he kept eyes on Ahsoka. The others tensed.

"We're taking you in now, Commander."

"That's not going to happen. Trust me. Now, I'm not going to hurt any of you," she looked to Ventress, reaching out ot her with the force as much as she did the men before them.

Please.

"WE'RE not going to hurt any of you. But you're not taking me in."

They definitely weren't. Not until she got to the bottom if it all.

The reaction to her words was immediate, their blasters were poised and focused, and there was a sudden sharp peak of desperation in those she knew that she couldn't quite place.

"Commander, we ARE taking you in."

Ahsoka wasn't sure if it was Wolffe's words or the pointing of the weapons which set Ventress off, but a flame flickered to life within her and she drew her blades, eager to reciprocate with threats of her own. It was all too familiar, a game she had danced many times before and she fell into her role of answering the challenge easily.

"Let's play!" She swung her sabers in wild arcs, causing the troopers to step back with cries of alarm and caution to eachother. She easily sliced through a few blasters. A gesture of play and show more than intent to harm. Ahsoka felt a hesitation on her part as well, perhaps spurred by their attackers uncertainty, or her request. Perhaps she really had changed. But she still didn't trust the woman's judgment or sympathy where clones were concerned. Their deaths had never affected her before and the panic touched her voice.

"Ventress, dont!"

The former sith let out a growl but conceded, tucking her weapons away and she set to disabling them all with a flurry of kicks and blows too fast for them to catch or block.

On her end, Ahsoka did the same.

It was Turns who put a hand on her shoulder, and she lashed out instinctively at the touch. He fell back from her kick and she made quick work of those she knew first, who had eyes on Turns and dropped their guard. She followed through with any who approached. Her speed was too much for them and with force-enhanced strength she was able to topple and toss the men who were nearly double her weight and deal blows capable of disabling even through armor.

They didn't stand a chance. And they knew it, althought they tried. But none fired.

And a strange feeling welled in her chest.

In a night of betrayal and blasters, someone hesitated on her behalf. Whether it was compassion or orders, she wasn't sure but she liked to believe it was the former. She clung to that as her arms and feet collided with men who had become so endeared to her over the years that she inwardly cringed at each connection. But there was no choice, no option but to pursue the thread which might find the ties of her innocence.

She was swift and thorough, as was Ventress.

It was disproportionately one-sided, and over quickly. With their refusal to use their weapons and their reluctance they were overpowered easily. She heard Wolffe's soft cry as he was brought up aganst a beam as she disabled the remaining two. The last had tried knocking her out with his weapon in favor of pulling a trigger in her direction.

Why? She looked down at them all for a moment. Why hadn't any of them fired?

Ventress raised her mask and gave them all a very satisfied once-over. A smile playing across her lips as she watched one by her feet groan and raise himself to his elbows.

"See? Didn't kill one. It's the new me."

They left them all pulling themselves up and staring after them as they made their way to the abandoned warehouse that Ahsoka hoped would be her salvation.

...

But that salvation had come much later, and by means as unexpected and devastatsing as her own death sentence.

She had stood frozen, washed in shock and despair in the moments after Barriss' confession. Amid the collective gasps and the Chancellor's curt dismissal, Anakin had stood ablaze like a fairytale knight, bright and proud and justice. Affection for her so deep it peeled back layers of having been forsaken by the council. But it couldn't dispel it completely.

And Barriss had been led away, a pool of discord and death and emotionless shadow. As bright and beautiful and full as her Master felt at that moment, her former friend was so far the opposite it took up place in her chest and rooted there. A seed of discord which bloomed in the nest of judgement she had received.

She hadn't been prepared for that.

The judgment. From the council and then the court. Friends and strangers. It was more painful than blaster fire she could still hear and feel skirting her shoulders.

Judged and sentenced for horrific acts she hadn't committed, then spared by the guilt of a once-friend who was dead in the force even as she still breathed and walked.

As Ahsoka walked away from the temple after it all, and she knew it was the last time.

Anakin had chased after her, had begged her to stay, had even tried guilting her to. But there was no place for her there, even at his side. As far as she was concerned what had taken place in that chamber was a mockery of everything she had thought and believed the jedi to stand for and she wanted to be as far away as possible just then.

When she had needed them most they had not simply fallen silent, but spoken against her. They had turned blind minds and hearts to her, while giving those who spoke against her the benefit of the doubt. And they had tried to cover their terrible mistake by calling it her great trial. That hurt the most. There was no great feat conquered through mentors turning their backs on her. At that moment, she had wanted to hurt them. Wanted to leave them as wounded as they had her. It was a very un-jedi-like feeling.

But, she was no longer a jedi.

The only thing that mildly appeased the fire within her was when she turned them down, refused them forgiveness with silence. When she had let her eyes pass over each of them in turn and had judged them, as they had judged her.

Except Anakin. The only one who had stood by her side through it all. He stood beside her now, turned away, back hunched and eyes closed with hands fisted at his sides. The only one she hadn't wanted to sting deeply, but ended up hurting the most.

She could feel the darkness that was always present in him, deep seated and molten claws that lingered just beyond the edge of his concience, growing more deep and treacherous. The storm brewing and raging within which was that much closer to boiling over. She didn't want to be the cause of that.

But she couldn't be the dam for it either, as much as she loved him and wished she could be. As much as she dreamed that she had the power to remove it from him completely, forever.

He gave her power in his affection of her. A great power, but it hadn't been enough to quell that fury in all the time she'd known him, and never would be. If she was possessed of that magic she would have done it long ago, would have drawn it from him with arms around his shoulders and her head to his and whispering with lips and force what he needed to hear or feel.

Maybe, once upon a time, she had believed she could. But now she knew she didn't, and it was as humbling as the realization in the temple chamber, that he couldn't do the same for her either.

She knew that now.

...

Days later the emotions had simmered enough that they were tempered somewhat, although she was still as unsure about everything as she had been. That didn't seem to be clearing up as easily or quickly as she had hoped it would. Days of wandering the underworld of Coruscant, the nights dark and alone and the days bright and crowded but without solace.

She had awoken in the dark and dirty corner of the alley where she had taken refuge late the night before, and found the need for caf and smiles and kind words so overwhelming her feet had carried her to a place she had avoided thus far because she hadn't wanted to see it yet. That she couldn't have handled, feeling what she had and searching for what she had.

Or maybe it was really where she had needed to go and be from the begining but had stubbornly refused.

When she pressed open the doors the urge to both bolt and to stay and never leave were so strong she stood frozen at the threshold for a moment, fingers clutching the doorframe and boots a heel-squeak on the tiles.

She hadn't known if they'd be there or not, but they were. And something in her heart moved at the sight of them all. A feeling like stepping into the sunlight after days in the shadows.

It was Fox who saw her first. Caught sight of her out of the corner of his eye and stumbled where he stood. He did a double take and the others turned at the motion.

Their voices which had just been a chorus stopped so suddenly that the other patrons looked up and around blinking. Their eyes all found and lingered on her a moment before sensing the privacy of the situation and returning to their meals.

Those she knew had all frozen where they stood or sat at the counter, half turned and mouths falling open at the recognition of her. Hatch, who had been tilting back on his stool when he saw her, toppled backwards off of it out of pure shock.

"Commander!" he called out from the floor and she felt the beacon of his force signature brighten as he pushed himself to his feet and practically ran into her, the others on his heels. She was in his arms before she could react, pulled tight to his chest as the others stopped just short of colliding with her. Hatch was blazing at the sight and touch of her, surprise and relief. They all were, and for a moment she was reminded of that feeling which she felt so many times before, with her own men, not so long ago. And the arms around her were so reminiscent of a dear friend who had been through so much with her. Who had supported her through so many thing and hard times. A comfort which she'd never have again.

The tears that had welled up and holed themselves inside of her for days, but which had refused to fall now slipped down her cheeks, and she brought her hands up to her face and cried softly into them. Hatch released her in surprise, took a worried step back, hands falling to her arms.

"Ahsoka."

A female voice. She opened her eyes and saw through splayed fingers that Loreen was beside her, and she had a bittersweet expression which matched the one Aiya wore right behind her. Fayna was watching with wide eyes from her mother's arms, her small hand reaching out and latching on the former jedi's sleeve. Loreen smiled softly and pulled the shawl from her shoulders and wrapped it around Ahsoka's, and then ran thumbs over her cheeks, wiping tears. She gave a nod to Turns who had stepped close as Hatch had backed way, and he put hands on her shoulders, urging her to the stairwell at the back of the shop.

Fox walked to the stairs with them, but Ahsoka saw him hesitate and linger there, his eyes dipping to the floor when they caught hers. He didn't follow them up.

In the living area above the shop, she was led to the small table in the kitchenette area to the side of the opening to the balcony. Lex pulled out a chair and Turns pressed her softly down into it as the others took seats or stood around it. Fayna was set on her lap briefly, and the small arms encircled her neck for a few moments before Aiya lifted her away with a smile and pressed a forehead to Ahsoka's briefly.

"Don't you go anywhere, I'm going to fetch you some of those pastries you like."

"And some caf," added Loreen as she retreated as well. " I knew you'd be back for my caf, " she winked and Ahsoka couldnt help but smile. At the playful teasing, at the kindness and warmth that trailed the women's wake and seeped from the men who stayed.

The others remained sitting or standing around her, passing soft words and jokes. Coaxing her to smile and laugh for a long while as she sat and cried and thought and ate. Turns had remained behind her and his hands were still warm on her shoulders as the rest took turns holding her hands or patting her back and offering napkins, in that sweet and akward way they all seemed to be posessed of. The way her men always had. The way she had, in her ignorance and innocence, always thought they would.

When she had risen to go, hours later and belly and heart filled with the best things, in the best way, Hatch had taken her hands in his and the others had fallen silent as he spoken softly. Faltering at first, but determined.

"Commander, we-" she looked at him and gave a small smile and a shake of her head. She was a commander no longer.

But he gave her a look that said he didn't care, that it wasn't important what others may have done or said, and he continued, "We didn't know that they'd turn you back over to Tarkin." He looked directly into her eyes and they sparked with earnesty. "We thought they'd protect you. That they wouldn't let him touch you. We wanted to bring you in because we thought if we did and handed you to them instead, that you'd be safe." He grimaced, eyes falling to the floor. "We never expected..."

That the council would turn their backs on her? It was still a hard taste to swallow. She looked at them all, her eyes panning each. So that was the eagerness she had felt in them then, that need to catch her even when she felt assured they disbelieved her guilt so strongly.

"Neither did I," she admitted. It washed over her again, the feeling of immense loss and abandonment. Threatened to drag her down to the recesses of darkness that fringed her thoughts.

But not everyone was against her. She looked up at them all with her own regret, bit the inside of her cheek.

"Im sorry. For...you know...the fight."

But they all shrugged it off, and a few grins surfaced.

"To be fair.. It wasn't much of a fight." Lex chuckled.

"Yeah...that was rather embarassing on our end," Ravi ran a hand through his hair and Surge snorted.

"I'd say we took it easy on you because you were pretty ladies, but that...wasn't the way of it. We really tried." Hatch scratched his head and looked to Trust who shrugged.

"Did you have orders not to shoot me?"

"Not spoken ones. But no one on that hunt wanted to anyways. The commander chose us because he knew we wouldn't."

"Wolffe?"

"Fox. " Surge admitted and she fell silent at his name, and her face must have been a peek at her thoughts because they all shifted and bowed their heads.

"Whatever you're feeling about the way things played out, Commander, towards him, or us for that matter, is valid. And it's not my intention to sway you or ask you to not feel how you do," Lex spoke up, arms crossed and giving her a sad, knowing look. "But, if it means anything...There isn't one of us that doesn't know or believe we did wrong by you." He let out a breath and shook his head. "And I promise you...no one more so than the Commander. "

She nodded. She knew. Her head had already made sense of it even if her heart was still playing catch up. He'd made the call he needed to to keep others safe. He hadn't let feelings override suspicion, and although that night she had been convinced he must've been posessed of no feelings at all, she had come to recognize the opposite.

It didn't make the feeling of dismissal hurt any less, but she had since realized that the pain from his shots and words stung mostly because they were the backdrop to someone else's, someone she still didn't feel ready to face.

She gave them all another smile, accepted and returned their embraces. She saw it in each of their faces, the words they didn't say with their mouths but asked with their eyes.

Please stay.

It was like a balm to a burn, and for a second she did hesitate, did want to answer in the way they wished her to. But she couldn't. Not right then. And maybe not for a while. But their eyes also spoke of time, as much time as she needed.

She turned to go but someone had caught her wrist. It was Trust, and he tapped a code into her Comm.

"Someone to call, Commander. If you ever need help some day, and you have no where to turn." He shook his head and smiled slightly as his fingers moved across her forearm. "They...have a way of it. " He looked at her once he'd finished and gave a nod, and there was a spark in his force that told her he had been there, had needed that once. And had received it from those he shared with her, now. Behind him Surge and Ravi exchanged knowing glances and Hatch chuckled.

Downstairs she caught Fayna in her arms, knelt and kissed the top of the small head as she whispered a goodbye. Smiled as she was enveloped by Aiya's and Loreen's arms and they remained huddled together on the floor until they almost toppled and they all laughed.

"You come back, ok?" Aiya smiled, a cheek to hers. Loreen steeped away to plucked a bag from the counter and pushed it into her arms.

Ahsoka could feel the soft fabric of a shawl or blanket, and smell the wonderful scent of things she'd savor later, maybe on a lonely night, cold and dark and distant and quiet. Right now she couldn't imagine it and had no desire to, not when she stood snagged and charmed by the light and arms and smiles and smells.

She smiled her own smile then, with eyes and lips and force as she stepped away. Let them all fill the room, resting on the shoulders of the patrons, blooming in the chests of the women and child who stood at the counter, the men who lingered at the foot of the stairs.

She gave a real hug, sudden and deep with arms wrapped and forehead pressed lightly against the man who had stood purposefully to the side, watching intently but fearful of joining in.

Fox had stiffened in surprise at first, but after a moment his arms went around her too. Pulled her close and held her tightly. And there was a lifting, a lightening of the darkness within him at that.

In a small way, she could make a difference, could fix some things.

She left, her heart telling her she needed to learn how to do it for herself.

...

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Ah, Ahsoka. I just had to give her something, some place to go to and find comfort from. I was so incredibly disappointed in the council. They really, really dropped the ball on her behalf.

Rewatching Ahsoka and Ventress fighting Wolffe and his guys...Poor guys...they got seriously potatoed. They were pretty sore after, I'm sure. And poor Wolffe. After all Ventress has done to him personally he still just tries to grab her. And then:

"Aahh-ah!" *Dink!*

And I giggled...I'm a terrible person. T_T

CaptainReb: Missed ya! ;)

Cozzizzie and TGP: I'm glad you guys liked it. It was really tough to write, like this one, because I had the memory of it in my head and wrote about it then re-watched and realized things were out of sync or happened much more quickly than I remembered and I had to find a bridge that worked.

Next chapter is a fluffy Net II, and then it's on to Fives (although I'm not sure if it's from his perspective-it might be Fox or Rex). From there it won't be character chapters anymore because it will just follow them all, and will progress quickly to order 66 and beyond.